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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Do you think its fair people say "no face pic, no reply/delete" if they don't have a face pic up in their bio in the first place?

Should that demand only be from thise who have their own face pic displayed first???

Just a question for discussion rather than a whinge.

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

Yep it's a bit rich isn't it?

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

They can ask for whatever they want it doesn't mean anyone has to do what they ask .

My rule of thumb should be if someone asks me for a face pic they send theirs first.

Personally I never have asked anyone for a face pic I find it happens that one of you sends one once you have chatted for a while with someone.

I won't jump through hoops for anyone on here and I don't ask anyone to either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a bit rich but it's their profile, it's what they want, I don't rush to send a face pic because it's what suits me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people can ask for requirements and it's peoples choice wether to meet them or not.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"They can ask for whatever they want it doesn't mean anyone has to do what they ask .

My rule of thumb should be if someone asks me for a face pic they send theirs first.

Personally I never have asked anyone for a face pic I find it happens that one of you sends one once you have chatted for a while with someone.

I won't jump through hoops for anyone on here and I don't ask anyone to either. "

I agree. Chat first and then see if you agree. But asking with first message without any iota what they are like seems quite crude.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

My profile tells people not to write if they can't read and I think that's fair.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think people can ask for requirements and it's peoples choice wether to meet them or not."

I agree but who is going to send a pic before they have even sooken to the other person who does not see the irony of not having theirs up first before demanding one with your first message. They are daft and arrogant.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My profile tells people not to write if they can't read and I think that's fair. "

Sure if they cant read no point in telling them not to write!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its a bit rich but it's their profile, it's what they want, I don't rush to send a face pic because it's what suits me. "
Good point. Its just arrogant. Thats just my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its a bit rich but it's their profile, it's what they want, I don't rush to send a face pic because it's what suits me. Good point. Its just arrogant. Thats just my opinion. "

Lot of arrogance around but it is what it is, but we all have our likes/dislikes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its a bit rich but it's their profile, it's what they want, I don't rush to send a face pic because it's what suits me. Good point. Its just arrogant. Thats just my opinion.

Lot of arrogance around but it is what it is, but we all have our likes/dislikes "

Yep its what makes us all different but interesting! X

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By *on Draper2.0Man
over a year ago

Maynooth


"Do you think its fair people say "no face pic, no reply/delete" if they don't have a face pic up in their bio in the first place?

Should that demand only be from thise who have their own face pic displayed first???

Just a question for discussion rather than a whinge. "

I think you're right. It says sometabout them to me. I avoid those people.

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By *ewrideMan
over a year ago

KK

Anyone insistent on receiving one should be prepared to share their own

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Having a face pic up on a profile isn't the same thing as getting one in private. Asking for a facepic in the first message when you don't have one on your profile is just a way of saving time by not entertaining people who aren't in with a chance anyway. Popular profiles can pick from a large number of profiles to meet and this makes selection easier. It reflects the unevenness of fab due to the male/ hot female ratio. Don't like it? Don't send a pic. Plenty are happy to. Is it arrogant? Maybe. It reflects a fab reality though. I think as long as they are willing to send a facepic in return to anyone they talk to then it's not too bad.

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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago

Cork

We don’t look for or expect face pics from couples or women, but we do from single guys. We believe that couples and women engaging in group sex is still a societal taboo and sending a digital record identifier is way too risky. However, a single man on a sexual hook up site is far less a taboo (perhaps more a boast), so we do not feel guilty asking for face pics from prospective single males. We will only ‘out’ ourselves face to face with males we are sure we don’t know, or engage with, in real life and that we are sure of an attraction based on looks that is likely to lead to a play meet... the others never need to have a copy of our faces on their phone - the ratio of men looking for meets and the willingness of many men to send face pics on this basis permits this approach.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"We don’t look for or expect face pics from couples or women, but we do from single guys. We believe that couples and women engaging in group sex is still a societal taboo and sending a digital record identifier is way too risky. However, a single man on a sexual hook up site is far less a taboo (perhaps more a boast), so we do not feel guilty asking for face pics from prospective single males. We will only ‘out’ ourselves face to face with males we are sure we don’t know, or engage with, in real life and that we are sure of an attraction based on looks that is likely to lead to a play meet... the others never need to have a copy of our faces on their phone - the ratio of men looking for meets and the willingness of many men to send face pics on this basis permits this approach."

So is this a swinging site or a sexual hookup site?

Do you feel that women and couples are never interested in sexual hookups and that men are only interested in that and nothing more?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We don’t look for or expect face pics from couples or women, but we do from single guys. We believe that couples and women engaging in group sex is still a societal taboo and sending a digital record identifier is way too risky. However, a single man on a sexual hook up site is far less a taboo (perhaps more a boast), so we do not feel guilty asking for face pics from prospective single males. We will only ‘out’ ourselves face to face with males we are sure we don’t know, or engage with, in real life and that we are sure of an attraction based on looks that is likely to lead to a play meet... the others never need to have a copy of our faces on their phone - the ratio of men looking for meets and the willingness of many men to send face pics on this basis permits this approach.

So is this a swinging site or a sexual hookup site?

Do you feel that women and couples are never interested in sexual hookups and that men are only interested in that and nothing more? "

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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago

Cork

Apologies Realitybites, should have said “ ‘sexual hook up site’ “, as was framing the societal view in terms of taboo and risk of outing. Hope the context explains the reference.

No offence meant to any particular man or group of men but certainly impossible in our opinion, and particularly when it comes to face pics, to assume the best of motivations covers all men on the site. When talking risk, we have to assess the risk and apply a reasonably standard approach.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont see an issue with it honestly.

If someone uses that as an additional filter then that's up to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dosnt bother me. If I'm asked straight away I generally tell them I'd like to chat a bit before I'd reveal myself to them. On some occasions if the vibe is wrong I don't send them.

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By *astcoast2000Man
over a year ago

Newcastle County Down

I been chatting to a couple after 3 messages they ask for a face pic.Yet they have only 3 photos on thier private album .Strange people, blocking seems to come to mind I think

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Apologies Realitybites, should have said “ ‘sexual hook up site’ “, as was framing the societal view in terms of taboo and risk of outing. Hope the context explains the reference.

No offence meant to any particular man or group of men but certainly impossible in our opinion, and particularly when it comes to face pics, to assume the best of motivations covers all men on the site. When talking risk, we have to assess the risk and apply a reasonably standard approach."

Why do you not apply any element of risk in regard to women and couples? If it's so difficult to assume motivation in general why does your standard approach assume that all women and couples are here for the same reasons and are capable of discretion?

My time here has taught me that not only are women and couples just as likely to be seeking hookups but are just as capable of indiscretion, drama and pot stirring. Societal taboos are not unique to women and couples.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"I been chatting to a couple after 3 messages they ask for a face pic.Yet they have only 3 photos on thier private album .Strange people, blocking seems to come to mind I think"

Nothing wrong with asking them to send first if that's your comfort level... as long as you're happy to reply with yours

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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago

Cork


"Apologies Realitybites, should have said “ ‘sexual hook up site’ “, as was framing the societal view in terms of taboo and risk of outing. Hope the context explains the reference.

No offence meant to any particular man or group of men but certainly impossible in our opinion, and particularly when it comes to face pics, to assume the best of motivations covers all men on the site. When talking risk, we have to assess the risk and apply a reasonably standard approach.

Why do you not apply any element of risk in regard to women and couples? If it's so difficult to assume motivation in general why does your standard approach assume that all women and couples are here for the same reasons and are capable of discretion?

My time here has taught me that not only are women and couples just as likely to be seeking hookups but are just as capable of indiscretion, drama and pot stirring. Societal taboos are not unique to women and couples. "

Fair enough reality bites, our opinion on the probability element of risk differs, probably based on our different perspectives.

Our personal lived experience is of hearing single men (non fab admittedly) boast about sexual encounters and identify their sexual ‘conquests’ in social interactions to a far greater degree than our single women acquaintances. We have been party to conversations with groups of friends where a single male friend has recounted group sex exploits and we still felt uncomfortable, or in fear of the reaction, to disclose our swinging activity.

It is a personal assessment, based on our experience, that couples and women are more likely to be discrete than men in general. We do not share face pics with women or couples either but we are more willing to meet face to face without that exchange as we feel there is more equitable risk and likelihood of discretion in that dynamic.

Again, excuse our generalities, trust that we use verifications and messages also as a guide, and apologies for any sensitivities we have upset in you with our preferred approach.

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

The only ones I have a problem with are the people who demand face pics but say they won’t send one in return. Arrogant asswipes imo

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

In my experience the willingness/ability to be open about these things tends to vary less among genders and has a lot more to do with jobs and community recognition

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Apologies Realitybites, should have said “ ‘sexual hook up site’ “, as was framing the societal view in terms of taboo and risk of outing. Hope the context explains the reference.

No offence meant to any particular man or group of men but certainly impossible in our opinion, and particularly when it comes to face pics, to assume the best of motivations covers all men on the site. When talking risk, we have to assess the risk and apply a reasonably standard approach.

Why do you not apply any element of risk in regard to women and couples? If it's so difficult to assume motivation in general why does your standard approach assume that all women and couples are here for the same reasons and are capable of discretion?

My time here has taught me that not only are women and couples just as likely to be seeking hookups but are just as capable of indiscretion, drama and pot stirring. Societal taboos are not unique to women and couples.

Fair enough reality bites, our opinion on the probability element of risk differs, probably based on our different perspectives.

Our personal lived experience is of hearing single men (non fab admittedly) boast about sexual encounters and identify their sexual ‘conquests’ in social interactions to a far greater degree than our single women acquaintances. We have been party to conversations with groups of friends where a single male friend has recounted group sex exploits and we still felt uncomfortable, or in fear of the reaction, to disclose our swinging activity.

It is a personal assessment, based on our experience, that couples and women are more likely to be discrete than men in general. We do not share face pics with women or couples either but we are more willing to meet face to face without that exchange as we feel there is more equitable risk and likelihood of discretion in that dynamic.

Again, excuse our generalities, trust that we use verifications and messages also as a guide, and apologies for any sensitivities we have upset in you with our preferred approach."

I get the varying approach to different demographics and tbf its your account so you can do what ever you like with it.

But do you think you might actually attract less discreet and more desperate guys by only meeting ones who will send a face pic without expecting one in return before a meet?

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By *inkywife1981Couple
over a year ago

A town near you


"Do you think its fair people say "no face pic, no reply/delete" if they don't have a face pic up in their bio in the first place?

Should that demand only be from thise who have their own face pic displayed first???

Just a question for discussion rather than a whinge. "

One can always decide not to send a message in the 1st place if attaching a face pic in an issue

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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago

Cork


"I get the varying approach to different demographics and tbf its your account so you can do what ever you like with it.

But do you think you might actually attract less discreet and more desperate guys by only meeting ones who will send a face pic without expecting one in return before a meet?"

That’s a fair point well made and worth considering.

If we meet a man on foot of a face pic, in addition to profile body pics, the standard required for attraction for us is one that we would judge that he wouldn’t generally be of the desperate variety in the real world. Combined with verifications that demonstrate a level of non-desperation in his fab world, we’re confident we can reduce or mitigate that risk.

We are open to meeting single men but it’s not our primary objective on here - that’d be couples - so we can set and keep to an approach that works for us. It may reduce our chances with some men but not enough to limit our enjoyment of MMF when we look for it.

Our stance on not sharing face pics with couples and women has cost us meets but so be it... we get by.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Apologies Realitybites, should have said “ ‘sexual hook up site’ “, as was framing the societal view in terms of taboo and risk of outing. Hope the context explains the reference.

No offence meant to any particular man or group of men but certainly impossible in our opinion, and particularly when it comes to face pics, to assume the best of motivations covers all men on the site. When talking risk, we have to assess the risk and apply a reasonably standard approach.

Why do you not apply any element of risk in regard to women and couples? If it's so difficult to assume motivation in general why does your standard approach assume that all women and couples are here for the same reasons and are capable of discretion?

My time here has taught me that not only are women and couples just as likely to be seeking hookups but are just as capable of indiscretion, drama and pot stirring. Societal taboos are not unique to women and couples.

Fair enough reality bites, our opinion on the probability element of risk differs, probably based on our different perspectives.

Our personal lived experience is of hearing single men (non fab admittedly) boast about sexual encounters and identify their sexual ‘conquests’ in social interactions to a far greater degree than our single women acquaintances. We have been party to conversations with groups of friends where a single male friend has recounted group sex exploits and we still felt uncomfortable, or in fear of the reaction, to disclose our swinging activity.

It is a personal assessment, based on our experience, that couples and women are more likely to be discrete than men in general. We do not share face pics with women or couples either but we are more willing to meet face to face without that exchange as we feel there is more equitable risk and likelihood of discretion in that dynamic.

Again, excuse our generalities, trust that we use verifications and messages also as a guide, and apologies for any sensitivities we have upset in you with our preferred approach."

I can assure you that you haven't upset anything.

I'm always curious though when people talk about risk assessments which are purely focused on one sector of the community and completely ignore others.

Speaking as a man who has worked all his life in male dominated environments I can say without fear of contradiction that I have never taken part in or overheard a single conversation about anyone's sexual conquests.

I have however overheard numerous conversations in an office full of women about what they were up to the night before so it's horses for courses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who you choose to contact can ask whatever they want, then you can choose to do whatever you want.

Good discussion earlier, I can see the point that both a1 and RB make, in my experience younger guys would boast about sexual conquests but its older women who do the exact same thing,

So no difference based on sex or gender but what's seen as acceptable behaviour in different groups.

If it feels right just send the pictures

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Im glad I got a good discussion going here. Thanks for interaction and if there are any nice ladies or couples who would like to meet me, well message me, lets chat and if we both agree then happy to exchange pix!!!??

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway


"Apologies Realitybites, should have said “ ‘sexual hook up site’ “, as was framing the societal view in terms of taboo and risk of outing. Hope the context explains the reference.

No offence meant to any particular man or group of men but certainly impossible in our opinion, and particularly when it comes to face pics, to assume the best of motivations covers all men on the site. When talking risk, we have to assess the risk and apply a reasonably standard approach.

Why do you not apply any element of risk in regard to women and couples? If it's so difficult to assume motivation in general why does your standard approach assume that all women and couples are here for the same reasons and are capable of discretion?

My time here has taught me that not only are women and couples just as likely to be seeking hookups but are just as capable of indiscretion, drama and pot stirring. Societal taboos are not unique to women and couples.

Fair enough reality bites, our opinion on the probability element of risk differs, probably based on our different perspectives.

Our personal lived experience is of hearing single men (non fab admittedly) boast about sexual encounters and identify their sexual ‘conquests’ in social interactions to a far greater degree than our single women acquaintances. We have been party to conversations with groups of friends where a single male friend has recounted group sex exploits and we still felt uncomfortable, or in fear of the reaction, to disclose our swinging activity.

It is a personal assessment, based on our experience, that couples and women are more likely to be discrete than men in general. We do not share face pics with women or couples either but we are more willing to meet face to face without that exchange as we feel there is more equitable risk and likelihood of discretion in that dynamic.

Again, excuse our generalities, trust that we use verifications and messages also as a guide, and apologies for any sensitivities we have upset in you with our preferred approach.

I can assure you that you haven't upset anything.

I'm always curious though when people talk about risk assessments which are purely focused on one sector of the community and completely ignore others.

Speaking as a man who has worked all his life in male dominated environments I can say without fear of contradiction that I have never taken part in or overheard a single conversation about anyone's sexual conquests.

I have however overheard numerous conversations in an office full of women about what they were up to the night before so it's horses for courses. "

At least it’s not one whole gender that are being generalised about, it’s just the ugly ones

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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago

Cork

“ Speaking as a man who has worked all his life in male dominated environments I can say without fear of contradiction that I have never taken part in or overheard a single conversation about anyone's sexual conquests.”

* raised eyebrows *

Maybe of course the male dominated workplaces, educational institutions, sporting environments and social gatherings we have been exposed to are purely the exception and attracted all the depraved boastful males there actually are in Ireland... and maybe our experience is wholly unrepresentative of the reality.

It’s our experience that counts in establishing our approach to engaging with strangers online though. I hope you can understand, if not accept, that.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"“ Speaking as a man who has worked all his life in male dominated environments I can say without fear of contradiction that I have never taken part in or overheard a single conversation about anyone's sexual conquests.”

* raised eyebrows *

Maybe of course the male dominated workplaces, educational institutions, sporting environments and social gatherings we have been exposed to are purely the exception and attracted all the depraved boastful males there actually are in Ireland... and maybe our experience is wholly unrepresentative of the reality.

It’s our experience that counts in establishing our approach to engaging with strangers online though. I hope you can understand, if not accept, that."

As I hope you can accept what I said above as fact without needing to raise your eyebrows.

I've no doubt it goes on but I can't be the only one to have never experienced it.

Of course I've had conversations about who was going out with who but what they did in private was never discussed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think people can ask for requirements and it's peoples choice wether to meet them or not.

I agree but who is going to send a pic before they have even sooken to the other person who does not see the irony of not having theirs up first before demanding one with your first message. They are daft and arrogant. "

I would but I would only send to people with good verifications that I know are genuine. If I liked the profile and that was their requirement to make contact, then I would send.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you think its fair people say "no face pic, no reply/delete" if they don't have a face pic up in their bio in the first place?

Should that demand only be from thise who have their own face pic displayed first???

Just a question for discussion rather than a whinge. "

Well I do ask that people send one and I say I'll send one back if I think we're compatible. People are free to send one if they want. It's just I would be attracted to someone's face rather than their body so I'd rather know what looks like. That's shallow of me, but I'm only looking to hook up on here so I think that's allowed?

It is just me not wanting to waste anyone's time, including the other person. I don't want us to be chatting back and forth and then a face pic gets sent and both of us/either of us just aren't attracted anymore. It's really not arrogance.

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By *inkywife1981Couple
over a year ago

A town near you

It's generally assumed that guys who boast about their conquests are In fact getting no action at all. Also often assumed that guys who are to keen to tell everyone what a lad they are, well are usually gay

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

We're all free to make whatever demands we want. Similarly, we are all free to ignore whatever demands someone else makes.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

face shows if there is a physical attraction. I have a face any female would love

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By *ischief2020Man
over a year ago

Borderline


"Apologies Realitybites, should have said “ ‘sexual hook up site’ “, as was framing the societal view in terms of taboo and risk of outing. Hope the context explains the reference.

No offence meant to any particular man or group of men but certainly impossible in our opinion, and particularly when it comes to face pics, to assume the best of motivations covers all men on the site. When talking risk, we have to assess the risk and apply a reasonably standard approach.

Why do you not apply any element of risk in regard to women and couples? If it's so difficult to assume motivation in general why does your standard approach assume that all women and couples are here for the same reasons and are capable of discretion?

My time here has taught me that not only are women and couples just as likely to be seeking hookups but are just as capable of indiscretion, drama and pot stirring. Societal taboos are not unique to women and couples.

Fair enough reality bites, our opinion on the probability element of risk differs, probably based on our different perspectives.

Our personal lived experience is of hearing single men (non fab admittedly) boast about sexual encounters and identify their sexual ‘conquests’ in social interactions to a far greater degree than our single women acquaintances. We have been party to conversations with groups of friends where a single male friend has recounted group sex exploits and we still felt uncomfortable, or in fear of the reaction, to disclose our swinging activity.

It is a personal assessment, based on our experience, that couples and women are more likely to be discrete than men in general. We do not share face pics with women or couples either but we are more willing to meet face to face without that exchange as we feel there is more equitable risk and likelihood of discretion in that dynamic.

Again, excuse our generalities, trust that we use verifications and messages also as a guide, and apologies for any sensitivities we have upset in you with our preferred approach."

In my opinion, males recounting group sex exploits is boasting and something I personally wouldn't do, but it is quite different from asking for face pics where people can be identified (unless of course the recounting specifically identifies those involved). After chatting for a very short time I have been asked for a face pic and was told I would receive one in return. After sending I as told there would be no point in returning one as the woman wasn't interested. For me it's a bit of a double standard & respect issue. I have learnt my lesson and request I receive one first if asked.

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