FabSwingers.com forum: How confident are you ?

By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

Taken from the lounge

On a scale of 1 to 10. How confident are you at leading when it comes to telling people that you fancy them and want to meet them on fab?

Online , at socials and coffee meets, do you lead with the question or do you wait to be asked?

Is it easy for you or do you find it awkward to ask?

I rate my confidence at the moment at around 7 maybe . There are a few situations I am not creative around . So if the profile says very specifically not looking for single guys , not meeting , only looking for guys with x or without y I take that as face value and don’t think I would be an exception . Yet you know from veris and chats that there are exceptions . Also occasionally I let really good connections drift into a friend zone territory from where there is unlikely to be a come back .

But otherwise on the other hand I am mostly ok making the first move and moving on if not reciprocated without a bruised ego .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably around the 7/8 mark for me now that we've been here a while and the fact that..if you don't ask..you don't get

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By *ornybarMan
over a year ago

clonmel

I’m not. I see some profiles and say. She’s well outta my league. Been kicked too many times I guess

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By *ightower2021Man
over a year ago

donegal

I'd probably say round a 4 I never was very confident

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

About 3/4. Don’t have a lot of confidence

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By *man79Man
over a year ago

newry dundalk. warrenpoint

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly my confidence fluctuates. Sometimes i feel a solid 8 then some days i feel a 2.

If i have been chatting to a guy though and i feel there is some kind of connection then i have no problem telling him id be interested in meeting him.

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By *Belfast_FellaMan
over a year ago

belfast

4/10.

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

Probably say 7/8 if i see a profile i like ive no problem sending them a first message and if it's going well id ask them for a social if i liked how the chat was going

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By *kcoupleCouple
over a year ago

.....

Confidant but very quietly so. I tend not to overself myself to myself if you get what I mean. Some find it hard to tell the difference between arrogance and confidence.

I know my level which I'm going to say is a 7/10 but human nature being what it is that could be a 2/10 this time tomorrow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3/10

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By *imonlebangMan
over a year ago

Casa Lebang Bang

"Taken from the lounge

On a scale of 1 to 10. How confident are you at leading when it comes to telling people that you fancy them and want to meet them on fab?

Online , at socials and coffee meets, do you lead with the question or do you wait to be asked?

Is it easy for you or do you find it awkward to ask?

But otherwise on the other hand I am mostly ok making the first move and moving on if not reciprocated without a bruised ego .

I would say I am a high 8

I think the best plan is to ask people to tell me about themselves...which is alway interesting...and I find it leads to a very engaging conversation when you find some common ground

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

As others have said, it can range from a 2 to a 10. The vibe i'm getting from the other person is probably the most important factor. Mrs

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By *lose_encounterMan
over a year ago

Cork city

i'm confident...so much so i know where the line between confident and delusional is

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

Meh

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

"i'm confident...so much so i know where the line between confident and delusional is"

Tiz a fine line

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By *ardyboy54321Man
over a year ago

Fermanagh

I'd say I'm a 2/3. I'm a shy aul corn fed country fella behind the check shirt and 501s

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By *lose_encounterMan
over a year ago

Cork city

"i'm confident...so much so i know where the line between confident and delusional is

Tiz a fine line

tiz indeed, but nice to know it's not a static line

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Taken from the lounge

On a scale of 1 to 10. How confident are you at leading when it comes to telling people that you fancy them and want to meet them on fab?

Online , at socials and coffee meets, do you lead with the question or do you wait to be asked?

Is it easy for you or do you find it awkward to ask?

But otherwise on the other hand I am mostly ok making the first move and moving on if not reciprocated without a bruised ego .

I can be confident enough one to one, maybe a 7/10? but extremely nervous and shy at parties and socials. Probably about a 2/10

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By *aint_or_SinnerWoman
over a year ago

South County Dublin

"Taken from the lounge

On a scale of 1 to 10. How confident are you at leading when it comes to telling people that you fancy them and want to meet them on fab?

Online , at socials and coffee meets, do you lead with the question or do you wait to be asked?

Is it easy for you or do you find it awkward to ask?

I have no problem sending introductory messages or asking to meet socially.

If there's that spark at a social, I also wouldn't have a problem making my interest known, depending on the situation, that may be clear and direct, or not so clear

I wouldn't be surprised if many have more issues in "rejecting" someone than "pursuing" someone. I find it harder anyway, and believe that's where confidence and communicating skills really come into it - letting someone know in a respectful manner, without the intention to insult or hurt that you have no interest in them.

I have been ghosted after socials rather than being told "sorry, not interested". I can take rejection without becoming abusive or suicidal...

Like some here, I would consider myself quietly confident. I have good and bad days.

But I'm not a social butterfly, I'm a loner. I feel most confident in settings with fewer people rather than at large parties, events and gatherings... and when taken out of my comfort zone, it would have a knock-on effect on my confidence...so I have no idea how I would react/behave/approach someone I fancy at a group gathering for swingers, for example...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say I'm a 7 or 8 out of 10. Especially if I've been chatting with them for a while

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By *angtasticallyMan
over a year ago

Drogheda

I always have to text first 7 10

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hard one to call as being over confident can lead to arrogance which isnt a nice trait in anyone. In everyday life im an 8. Fabworld maybe a 6

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be very insecure and body conscious before Fab. But having to go to countless coffees socials and parties and having to win over total strangers you learn to be more confident and embrace your imperfections. Now people tell me it's my confidence that draws me to them. So I'm probably a 7

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

"I'd say I'm a 2/3. I'm a shy aul corn fed country fella behind the check shirt and 501s

Go way Hardy, you weren't shy from where I was lying last Saturday night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d class myself around 7/8. I’ve gotten more confident as I’ve got older and have the attitude that if you don’t ask you won’t get. If they say no then at least you know and can move on.

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By *ardyboy54321Man
over a year ago

Fermanagh

"I'd say I'm a 2/3. I'm a shy aul corn fed country fella behind the check shirt and 501s

Go way Hardy, you weren't shy from where I was lying last Saturday night

"
shhhhhhh you

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By *asual777 OP Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

Some of the marks out of 10 I find surprising , mostly in that I would have given a higher mark for how those profiles come across . Interesting

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

10. If I want to fuck someone on here then they know it. Don't ask don't get.

I'm definitely not 10 in confidence in other aspects of my life however.

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By *unLovingCriminalMan
over a year ago

Somewhere

In real life probably a 8 in confidence as I can pun my way in or out of many situations.

On fab I guess people look at different aspects in more detail plus it's hard to get some aspects of my personality across purely in a text processing form, so I guess it ranges from about a 4 to a 8 depending on who I am talking to or what the vibe I'm getting is.

That said if I really liked somebody I'd probably just take the chance and write to them to be honest, a no reply or straight up no is not the end of the world for me.

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By *imonlebangMan
over a year ago

Casa Lebang Bang

"Taken from the lounge

On a scale of 1 to 10. How confident are you at leading when it comes to telling people that you fancy them and want to meet them on fab?

Online , at socials and coffee meets, do you lead with the question or do you wait to be asked?

Is it easy for you or do you find it awkward to ask?

I have no problem sending introductory messages or asking to meet socially.

If there's that spark at a social, I also wouldn't have a problem making my interest known, depending on the situation, that may be clear and direct, or not so clear

I have been ghosted after socials rather than being told "sorry, not interested". I can take rejection without becoming abusive or suicidal...

Like some here, I would consider myself quietly confident. I have good and bad days.

I think that any people on Fab have the potential to be more confident than your average person.

It's a big step to be here in the first place and you need confidence to do that

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By *t777Woman
over a year ago

close by

I'd say I'm about 1 or 2, I'm never confident enough to ask someone out even for coffee I always wait to be asked. So ask away lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In relation to approaching people 10.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest.

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Similar to Corklad. A 10 when it comes to appraoching people.

Now, my confidence in relation to them responding to my approach is a whole different ball game.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In regular life an 8 would chat to anyone.

Here I struggle to balance friendlyness and sexiness in all honesty so generally don't DM people. Probably a 4 in just messaging.

At a meet or event? Let's see I'd probably tone myself down to a 7 to catch my bearings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be a ten no harm asking for a meet

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Confidence for an individual is on a continuum, a spectrum, that ranges from say 1 to 100.

There are certain aspects of one's life with which a person will have had positive experiences and be comfortable, very confident, and other aspects that one is more anxious about. These will have very different scores., and these scores would change over time.

There is also the potential Dunning-Kruger Effect to take into account.

This construct states that the person who knows very little tends to be inappropriately confident, and therefore less anxious, whilst the experienced person has a deeper appreciation of how little they know and are therefore less confident.

There are some aspects of my life that I am less anxious about, more confident and others in which I have less expertise.

The current Covid context is a complicating factor that has been detrimental to the lifestyle, that is swinging in Ireland.

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By *eijaWoman
over a year ago

City Centre

I wouldn't say I'm really confident I would say I know what I want/like...on a good day maybe 7/8. When I'm hosting socials I love it as I love getting like minded people together. I'm a social butterfly

One on one if you are shy with me I'll probably be shy with you...I like a confident person who I can bounce off (with good conversation not what you are thinking

)

Some days I'm definitely a 2/10 I can be quite insecure and a little shy

B x

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By *alwayguy2020Man
over a year ago

near trien

I used to be a 10 for confidence. Lot a life changes then id say im more a late 4 early 5 now.

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By *sLittleRedRidingHoodWoman
over a year ago

Magical Forrest

I tell them straight out … usually makes them run

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With being on here it should be 1,but mentally im up there.

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By *ullseye100Man
over a year ago

Ireland

High enough usually but have my moments

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By *ukeM8519Man
over a year ago

South Dublin

Zero

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By *adylaceWoman
over a year ago

Waterford City

I'm pretty confident when it comes to chatting to new people and having good banter with them but I'm absolutely rubbish at moving things to the next level. I always assume that people are just being friendly and don't actually fancy me. So I end up waiting for them to make the move like a bloody teenager. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty confident, I'd say a 9 but it really depends on the response.

Knowing that you are not to everyones liking or everyone's cup of tea, and not taking it personally is part of growing up.

Its all fun and games until you check out of here anyway.

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

Not at all

I think I appear more confident than I really am plus I’m terrible at picking up on signals

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By *dfabMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne

Not very, quite shy to begin with but once we start chatting over some common interests or the like, then I relax and am more myself.

As for approaching someone, not without some Dutch courage!

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By *I_BlueMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Confident in the bedroom. Easily give myself and 11/10 for confidence when it comes to the proper stuff

Prior to that not much. Maybe as low as a 2/10

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would be confident enough i would say a 8/9.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not as confident as I used to be

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By *indenMan
over a year ago

Naas which is South West of Dublin

"I'm pretty confident when it comes to chatting to new people and having good banter with them but I'm absolutely rubbish at moving things to the next level. I always assume that people are just being friendly and don't actually fancy me. So I end up waiting for them to make the move like a bloody teenager. Lol"

This for me too….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Super confident in 99% of things. I don't let things bother or worry mein the slightest. I'm confident in my body, my work, in doing new things and meeting new people. But I'm a total coward in the remaining 1% of things.

And I think that 1% is the undoing of the other 99%

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By *unsigntwoCouple
over a year ago

athlone

Mrssun here very shy so I would say I'm a 2,3

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

9 in life, even though I have a slight stutter, but I love walking through a room filled with people, walk slowly and observe. Would have no problem standing in front of a few hundred people and talk my subject matter.

However probably a 4 in front of an/few attractive fit women, I get all stuck, love a good frame!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll always tell someone if I like them . If it's not returned that's OK as it's flattering to know youre admired by someone .

In the same breath I will also tell someone if im not feeling it.better than being ghosted.

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By *oubtingtomasMan
over a year ago

Dundalk

I'd say 10. It might sound arrogant but its really not I can just handle rejection because I just don't really care.

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By *atience178Couple
over a year ago

Dublin

Probably around a 2 or 3 because we have never really made the first move, yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be a 8/9 I'm generally a confident guy not cocky there's a massive difference always love the bants

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By *heFoxersCouple
over a year ago

FoxTown

It is all over the place when it comes to fab sometimes 6/7 if have a good run of things but then if get rejected again and again 3.

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