FabSwingers.com forum: Be nice

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Shocked to hear a long time member here got some nasty comments sent to her tonight. Can't we all just be nice to each other? Why be nasty? Spread the love people

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By *on Draper2.0Man
over a year ago

Maynooth

"Shocked to hear a long time member here got some nasty comments sent to her tonight. Can't we all just be nice to each other? Why be nasty? Spread the love people "

Some dudes don't have robust egos.

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By *ocforuMan
over a year ago

Cork City

"Shocked to hear a long time member here got some nasty comments sent to her tonight. Can't we all just be nice to each other? Why be nasty? Spread the love people "
some people shouldn't be on here they think women should just meet up straight away and they can't handle getting rejected

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Frankly, I am surprised that the amount of abuse, criticism and nastiness isn't much worse on this site; people can hide behind an anonymised profile, and say whatever they want.

Management of postings must be quite effective, thankfully.

It's a good site.

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By *ightower2021Man
over a year ago

donegal

It's not a bad site but the one down side is the people giving out the abuse can have as many profiles on the go as they like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shocked to hear a long time member here got some nasty comments sent to her tonight. Can't we all just be nice to each other? Why be nasty? Spread the love people "

Don't worry the shock will wear off soon enough if you hang around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems that some little pricks have never been told “no” before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Name and shame.only way to stop it.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"Name and shame.only way to stop it."

No ....only way to get banned....its not allowed

Block and report

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people both male and female think they are entitled to a meet just chase they have sent u messages.The ones that get bitter or nasty should be banned including their IP so they can't create profiles. Too many decent people have left the site over abuse. Some people need to learn how to act like an adult.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shocked to hear a long time member here got some nasty comments sent to her tonight. Can't we all just be nice to each other? Why be nasty? Spread the love people "

I don't understand why you're "shocked" tbh... Abuse on here can be a regular occurrence at times. Some very popular females can & do receive crazy abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shocked to hear a long time member here got some nasty comments sent to her tonight. Can't we all just be nice to each other? Why be nasty? Spread the love people

I don't understand why you're "shocked" tbh... Abuse on here can be a regular occurrence at times. Some very popular females can & do receive crazy abuse."

*I have to add ... Totally unprovoked random abuse from total strangers who they have never ever spoken to before or had zero communication with. Thankfully the abusers are a minority & the majority are removed but unfortunately they just create new profiles...

Thankfully though there's many many lovely genuine kind legit peeps here.

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City

"Shocked to hear a long time member here got some nasty comments sent to her tonight. Can't we all just be nice to each other? Why be nasty? Spread the love people "

She must be delighted you are so disgusted. Her knight in shining armour?

Am actually laughing that you are shocked. Do you really think all men accept the word “no”? Where have you been living?

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By *indenMan
over a year ago

Naas which is South West of Dublin

"Am actually laughing that you are shocked. Do you really think all men accept the word “no”? Where have you been living? "

And that’s the sad thing, and perhaps the most shocking thing, that this actually goes on and it’s almost considered a part of it here, certainly not acceptable, just sad that it’s almost accepted as part and parcel of having a profile here for some, it shouldn’t have to be…..

Sad, sad little people……

I was a mod on a forum a good while back (pre GDRP) and ip addresses could be checked against profiles, or banned profiles, any new profile from a banned IP address was also instantly banned.

I’m also painfully aware that this isn’t confined to this site, or any site and from taking to female friends I know this extends much more into real life than it should too…..

It really make me sad…..

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Shocked to hear a long time member here got some nasty comments sent to her tonight. Can't we all just be nice to each other? Why be nasty? Spread the love people

I don't understand why you're "shocked" tbh... Abuse on here can be a regular occurrence at times. Some very popular females can & do receive crazy abuse."

I don't see what being popular has to do with anything. People in general get abuse and due to the nature of this site some of these so called "popular" people are very good at giving it too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am actually laughing that you are shocked. Do you really think all men accept the word “no”? Where have you been living?

Sad, sad little people……

I was a mod on a forum a good while back (pre GDRP) and ip addresses could be checked against profiles, or banned profiles, any new profile from a banned IP address was also instantly banned.

I’m also painfully aware that this isn’t confined to this site, or any site and from taking to female friends I know this extends much more into real life than it should too…..

It really make me sad…..

Obviously this behaviour shouldn't and isn't acceptable but.....

It is part and parcel of having an online presence of any sort..

If people felt that disgusted ot saddened by the behavior they would boycott sites that donr manage the behaviour in the same way you did on a previous site.

I really doubt anyone is "shocked" this happend online anymore and alot of the outrage seems like hollow to be honest

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Shocked to hear a long time member here got some nasty comments sent to her tonight. Can't we all just be nice to each other? Why be nasty? Spread the love people

She must be delighted you are so disgusted. Her knight in shining armour?

Am actually laughing that you are shocked. Do you really think all men accept the word “no”? Where have you been living? "

It's not just men who get abusive when they get told no or don't reply, plenty of women here do the same and also use threats to blacken the name of the guy who had the cheek to say no to them. Some even use the line " do you not know who I am "

Some of the abuse women get are from other women on fake profiles as well .

Sending abuse is not gender specific and no matter who sends it they are sad individuals.But it won't stop it's the internet people hide behind profiles to do what they wouldn't have the guts to do in real life.

I've said before on here all anyone can do is control how they react to it. You can either let it roll off you like water off a ducks back or let it upset you that some random twat that you don't know or want to know sends you abuse .I prefer to do the former when it happens and be grateful I never met or wasted any more time on the person .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am actually laughing that you are shocked. Do you really think all men accept the word “no”? Where have you been living?

Sad, sad little people……

I was a mod on a forum a good while back (pre GDRP) and ip addresses could be checked against profiles, or banned profiles, any new profile from a banned IP address was also instantly banned.

I’m also painfully aware that this isn’t confined to this site, or any site and from taking to female friends I know this extends much more into real life than it should too…..

It really make me sad…..

But the thing is & the issue is...for some...some people receive totally unprovoked abuse with zero communication whatsoever...I think it's cos the abusers know they don't meet criteria by reading a profile & irrationally lash out...Anyway they don't bother me...I just totally ignore them...they sure show their nasty horrible personality & some do deserve to be called out in a status as I have done in the past...You'd often see men being called out in other women's statuses also...It's good to warn others also of the abusers/trolls in this way.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

"Shocked to hear a long time member here got some nasty comments sent to her tonight. Can't we all just be nice to each other? Why be nasty? Spread the love people

She must be delighted you are so disgusted. Her knight in shining armour?

Am actually laughing that you are shocked. Do you really think all men accept the word “no”? Where have you been living?

Some of the abuse women get are from other women on fake profiles as well .

This!

The only thing I might add, sometimes the side that gets abuse might not be as innocent in the whole process as they seem as in what goes around comes around.

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

I don't agree with naming and shaming anyone on your status cause let's be honest there's two side's to every story and on fab sometimes three,ive seen people get ridiculed by nasty comments just because the poster has said as fact....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It may be one of the main reasons so few venture in to use the forums too. Few help and speak out enough over the abuse and excuse it as just banter and say people need to harden up. Easier just to watch and listen and let the regulars carry on.

Glad someone rightly pointed out that it's very definitely not gender specific either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of the abuse women get are from other women on fake profiles as well .

^^^^^^^ Quote- "Some of the abuse women get are from other women on fake profiles as well ." OMG I well believe it. & I've often said it... Women are undercover as men on here lashin out abuse ... The crazy planet of Fab eh...

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Naming and shaming on status updates is abuse in itself because as Lolly just said there are 3 sides to every story and is very easy to blacken people's names with a few words in a status.

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By *indenMan
over a year ago

Naas which is South West of Dublin

Can I ask, to those who have unfortunately been on the receiving end of this sort of thing, what do they do?

Ignore?

Delete and block?

Block and report?

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Can I ask, to those who have unfortunately been on the receiving end of this sort of thing, what do they do?

Ignore?

Delete and block?

Block and report?"

All of the above

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolute cowards hiding behind the keyboards. This site is about fun. Ridiculous carry on by a few idiots

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Can I ask, to those who have unfortunately been on the receiving end of this sort of thing, what do they do?

Ignore?

Delete and block?

Block and report?"

On the rare occasion I get any abusive messages I ignore if I can see without opening the message that's it's one of those ones. I just delete it unread and block.

Otherwise I just delete the message and block I use to report never saw it make any difference if I'm honest.

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City

"Can I ask, to those who have unfortunately been on the receiving end of this sort of thing, what do they do?

Ignore?

Delete and block?

Block and report?"

Delete and block.

Reporting does absolutely Jack shit. Even guys who have two and three almost identical profiles, same bios, everything. Repeat offenders. Nothing happens.

Guys who were creepy and horrid on the forums leave and come back with a new name and are verified and well and posting again.

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By *ightower2021Man
over a year ago

donegal

"Can I ask, to those who have unfortunately been on the receiving end of this sort of thing, what do they do?

Ignore?

Delete and block?

Block and report?

Delete and block.

Reporting does absolutely Jack shit. Even guys who have two and three almost identical profiles, same bios, everything. Repeat offenders. Nothing happens.

Guys who were creepy and horrid on the forums leave and come back with a new name and are verified and well and posting again. "

Why can't here be like tinder if you a profile you can not set up another one seems to be here you can have as many profiles as you like and have them as male r female profiles no checking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Naming and shaming on status updates is abuse in itself because as Lolly just said there are 3 sides to every story and is very easy to blacken people's names with a few words in a status.

I would never ever name & shame someone maliciously ever. There's Predators on here who are quite dangerous & they need to be named & shamed for other peoples safety.

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By *indenMan
over a year ago

Naas which is South West of Dublin

"Can I ask, to those who have unfortunately been on the receiving end of this sort of thing, what do they do?

Ignore?

Delete and block?

Block and report?

Delete and block.

Reporting does absolutely Jack shit. Even guys who have two and three almost identical profiles, same bios, everything. Repeat offenders. Nothing happens.

Guys who were creepy and horrid on the forums leave and come back with a new name and are verified and well and posting again. "

So reporting has absolutely no effect and there are no actions taken and no sanctions?

I got a ban for mentioning an only “supporters” site in a joke in a PM to a friend, but I could call you a Cnut and there’s no problem apparently….

The saddest and most dangerous thing is that people like this believe it there’s no repercussions for this sort of behaviour on line, and it’s considered acceptable, then it’s probably acceptable in real life too…

Very worrying, it’s no wonder people are afraid to meet……

I was bringing a young lady back to mine one night and asked her if she wanted me to give her my Eircode or something so she could send to a friend to let them know where she was going and she looked at me like I had two heads….

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

Being nice and kind are laudable aims but probably unachievable

Some behaviours need to be called out

And threads will spring up asking people to vent and the subjects of the venting will get an unsolicited , sometimes deserved sometimes deserved verbal criticism

Moderation will only go so far

Not sure there is a solution other than to be reflective when posting, develop a thick skin and use the site tools like blocking

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By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
over a year ago

City Centre, Dublin

Yeah I think “be nice” is a good hashtag but fuck all use in real life, bad behaviour has to be called out and challenged.

Not at all surprised by the abuse women get on here. I think fellas sign up with the expectation that they’re billy big dick and going to ride all around them and then spit the dummy out when they’re told they’re not all that.

Not sure white knights are much better either, manipulating and worming their way into women’s good graces with their niceness and faux friendliness. Two cheeks of the same arse

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

"Yeah I think “be nice” is a good hashtag but fuck all use in real life, bad behaviour has to be called out and challenged.

Not sure white knights are much better either, manipulating and worming their way into women’s good graces with their niceness and faux friendliness. Two cheeks of the same arse"

White knights are far more dangerous than the guys who are up front about being knobs.

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By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
over a year ago

City Centre, Dublin

"Yeah I think “be nice” is a good hashtag but fuck all use in real life, bad behaviour has to be called out and challenged.

Not sure white knights are much better either, manipulating and worming their way into women’s good graces with their niceness and faux friendliness. Two cheeks of the same arse

White knights are far more dangerous than the guys who are up front about being knobs. "

Yeah it’s a tactic

Same aims as the up front knobs, just different ways of going about it

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City

Not sure white knights are much better either, manipulating and worming their way into women’s good graces with their niceness and faux friendliness. Two cheeks of the same arse"

I couldn’t agree more. White knights make my skin crawl TBH.

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City

Very worrying, it’s no wonder people are afraid to meet……

Honestly tho, I’m less afraid to meet someone than I am of saying thanks but we won’t be meeting again. Saying no entails putting it kindly, making sure you’ve not told them anything about yourself that they could use against you, hoping they take it well, hoping they didn’t save your photos, unfriending them BEFORE you say no Thanks. Etc etc.

And it’s NOT everyone. AT ALL. It’s very few. But those few are scary as hell.

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By *dfabMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne

Probably better ignoring methinks.

Fab rules are no reply equals No Thanks.

Unfortunately a lot don't read the rules

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's unfortunate in this day and age that there people walking around that think this behaviour is acceptable.

There's men (and women) that think they have a God given right to whatever they want.

I honestly think it's time to take the warning labels of everything and let natural selection out all the brainless scum that's out there.

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By *ussyhoundMan
over a year ago

Dungannon

Unfortunately it happens quite a lot, and it's a shame it shouldn't happen.

I would just delete and block but if it's not reported it will just keep them going.

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