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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My Girlfriend is leaving me due to my obsession with police interview techniques..

And for the benefit of the tape she is leaving the room at 22.30 pm.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

"That's it!" she stormed, "I can't compete with you and your 80's rock music. I'm leaving you. I've met someone new."

"No! Who is it?!" I shouted.

"He's called Tommy and he's not in the least bit obsessed with Bon Jovi!"

"Tommy?" I said, "Didnt He work on the docks??."

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By *ollypop9Woman
over a year ago

wouldn't you like to know

My boyfriend asked to play doctor.

I kept him waiting outside the bedroom door for an hour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine left cos of my obsession with football over her. I said “open your legs for me & I’ll show you how much I love you....”

Then I nutmegged her

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By *ettaManMan
over a year ago

Based in Kerry, work in Cork.

Lying in bed with my girlfriend, she asked me what my favourite part of her body was.

Thinking there was no answer to this question that wouldn't lead to me having to reassure her that I loved every inch of here, an answer popped into my head.

'Your mind', I said.

She breaks down, sobbing uncontrollably, saying I don't love her and I don't understand her.

Turns out she's a bloody Cartesian Dualist!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sister sometimes dates a computer repair man. They're off and on again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol love it.

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By *lameBoyMan
over a year ago

Enfield & Dublin

I rolled over in the bed, looked into her gorgeous eyes and asked my wife “what would you like to do to my body?”

“Identify it!” was her response.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My girlfriend left me because of my insecurities.

No wait, she's back.

She just went to make a cup of tea.

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By *oserMan
over a year ago

where the wild roses grow

Thanks you guys, great way to start the day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My girlfriend said i remind her of the sea.

why cos im wild & stormy in bed?

no, because you make me sick

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By *atherjackhackettMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

My girlfriend got out of bed last night and said she was leaving me because I was too cocky. I told her close the door on her way in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dated this girl for exactly 24 hours. Then we called it a day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My girlfriend accused me of cheating, I told her she's starting to sound like my wife

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I was too clingy.

"Ok," I said, "I'll come with you."

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By *Sparkie.Man
over a year ago

Ratoath

My wife and I were daydreaming about what we would do if we won the lottery. She started: “I’d hire a cook so that I could just say, ‘Hey, make me a sandwich!’” I shock my head. “Not me. I already have one of those.”

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By *ongueandgroove555Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

My girlfriend said she was leaving me because I exaggerate too much, I was so shocked I almost tripped over my cock

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By *oejoxxxMan
over a year ago

anywhere

Good one

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By *ka ..Agent k ..Man
over a year ago

..

.my lady friend told me I could tie her up to the bed and do what ever I wanted..

So I took her at her word one Friday evening

And had a great night's criac at the races in Dundalk.

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By *uriousVoyeurMan
over a year ago

Northside

My wife said she's leaving me and taking the kids because of my obsession with horse racing....they're at the gate. And they're off!!!

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By *aucyladMan
over a year ago

Dublin

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!

That’s the best I’ve done so far.

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By *onnrodMan
over a year ago

moira

Last night I was sitting on the edge of the bed pulling off my boxers.

My wife said "you fucking spoil those dogs..."

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By *un4tooCouple
over a year ago

north cork

My wife said she's leaving me and taking the kids because of my obsession with horse racing.

Aaaaannnnddd they're off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My gf wouldn't say what was bothering her after she went down on me. I said "Come on, spit it out"

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By *atherjackhackettMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

I always came too fast with my girlfriend and I felt very bad for her. She suggested I use some cream to reduce the sensitivity. It worked great. Now I don't give a shit about her

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By *ettaManMan
over a year ago

Based in Kerry, work in Cork.


"My girlfriend left me because of my insecurities.

No wait, she's back.

She just went to make a cup of tea."

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"My boyfriend asked to play doctor.

I kept him waiting outside the bedroom door for an hour."

Bahahhahaha

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