FabSwingers.com forum: Anyone else sick of closed circles ?

By *leasureHunter OP Man
over a year ago

Co.Dublin

I've been on this site a while now and as you get deeper the more toxic it gets , closed circles that stick by one another . So how do you manage to get to know someone if they want to stick with the same people same scene ?? what do you do ????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the people are that toxic do you really want to be associating with them?

Plenty of folks here who aren't in any particular circles.

People seem to be getting really wound up about how others are using and behaving on here atm.

If things are bothering you that much maybe take a break?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The longer we're here the more we appreciate why people might keep within a smallish circle, or have several small overlapping circles. People they know and trust, people they've forged friendships with, people they know won't let them down, people they feel comfortable to grow and push boundaries with. Perhaps others might drift in and out of those circles but there's a core with whom trust has been established

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

They're better than squares.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I can see why it frustrates people. I’ll I can suggest is make your own circle of friends. I’ve started chatting to a couple of people here now so hopefully things will start to look up but I agree that it’s a bit of a closed shop.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

The people that verified you must also move in trusted circles

Could they not invite you into them or could you go to a few socials to join in with others

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By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

Im more of an octagon person myself. Im not sure why people having a group of friends they regularly chat/hang out with is toxic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been on this site a while now and as you get deeper the more toxic it gets , closed circles that stick by one another . So how do you manage to get to know someone if they want to stick with the same people same scene ?? what do you do ????"

Be yourself! If you can be open minded and positive you'll find your like minded people. There may be friend circles but they arent all toxic. Some are circles of trust

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You do realise that people who chat in forums is small percentage of Fabbers in general majority actually don't chat here.... So how do you get on in Fab... chat away on here being respectful result get to meet few people here but go to M&G socials, parties etc and with being respectful will get to meet a hell lot more people than you would if ya just focused on small percentage in forum chatters. Happy Fabbing

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

"The longer we're here the more we appreciate why people might keep within a smallish circle, or have several small overlapping circles. People they know and trust, people they've forged friendships with, people they know won't let them down, people they feel comfortable to grow and push boundaries with. Perhaps others might drift in and out of those circles but there's a core with whom trust has been established "

There are members on this site who have a thorough and intimate understanding of what is required, attitude wise, to succeed on this site in the long term.

Those who view it as a short term 'fix', and get frustrated by their lack of success fail to grasp that those of us who wish to explore, push boundaries and develop ourselves, sexually, with all that entails need to do this with others of a similar mindset who are discreet, trustworthy, respectful and not in a rush to resolve an immediate need.

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

"There are members on this site who have a thorough and intimate understanding of what is required, attitude wise, to succeed on this site in the long term.

Very well put

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

I'd say if you want to break into the Irish swinger scene you've to go to socials. The scene is small enough so a lot of people know each other for years, but from my observation that's the easiest way in.

If you come across a really toxic matrix it's better to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction rather than trying to meet any of them.

There's also a fair amount of solitary fabbers that go on about their own thing on here.

Veris give you a fair clue of fabbers activity and fab connections.

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By *leasureHunter OP Man
over a year ago

Co.Dublin

Oh 100% agree with what your saying. And I might add I've been here a good while , this being my new profile (second) .all I was trying to point out was there is to much falseness

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"I'd say if you want to break into the Irish swinger scene you've to go to socials. The scene is small enough so a lot of people know each other for years, but from my observation that's the easiest way in.

If you come across a really toxic matrix it's better to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction rather than trying to meet any of them.

There's also a fair amount of solitary fabbers that go on about their own thing on here.

Veris give you a fair clue of fabbers activity and fab connections.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah it's a dump

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By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

"Oh 100% agree with what your saying. And I might add I've been here a good while , this being my new profile (second) .all I was trying to point out was there is to much falseness "

Falseness in what way?

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By *ilderMan
over a year ago

dublin

But is there such a thing as an open circle?.... Would that not just be a curved line?....

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Choosing to have sex with other people they might already know and not you isnt toxic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've a small circle of Fab friends I don't necessarily fuck them all they are just friends I've met through socials. I give newbies and unverified guys a chance all the time as well. But from track record I'm more likely to get flaked on by those then my friends or friends of friends. I rarely get a night off so it really pisses me off to give someone a chance and they don't turn up!

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By *erticalMan
over a year ago

dark side of the moon

Theres a very well known saying”better the devil you know” Lets get real here this is no tearoom, A few terms come to mind. Bunny boiler, husband stealer, sex predators,thats all plus vat in the form of disrespect, disease,gossip,stupidy, madness, spite,jealousy, i wont go on, i agree to a point there has to be new blood in from time to time to keep everything interesting. But again an other saying “if its not broken why fix it?” I’m off a very outgoing nature and could talk to a dead dog if it dose not talk back maybe the next one will? But i dont quit because 1 did not chat. Spend time in the chat rooms talk here and let people see your inner smile and some will warm to you, its very much like counselling in that its a gradual thing and rewarding if you put in the time. Mollys chambers put it in a mannerly way.

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

I wonder if a two part question is better :

1. Why is it so difficult for a new male profile to get a look in ?

2. What can I do about it ?

Because seeking explanations to why specific female and couple profiles won’t reply when they’re clearly playing and why blokes won’t invite to parties is a wild goose chase

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By *eralt80Man
over a year ago

cork

"I wonder if a two part question is better :

1. Why is it so difficult for a new male profile to get a look in ?

2. What can I do about it ?

Because seeking explanations to why specific female and couple profiles won’t reply when they’re clearly playing and why blokes won’t invite to parties is a wild goose chase "

No.2 - perseverance really. Take part in the chat rooms or forums and get your personality across and get to socials or M&G eventually you’ll start to connect with like minded people. It’s kinda what worked for me as I wasn’t sending too many messages anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like doughnuts, bagels and hula hoops.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe those that you say are in.. " closed circles " have already filled their stable with the stallions they want, people's time to give to meets is precious so they stick to who they know will rock their world and for their own guarantee of it being what they want other than spending a meet with someone who they can't be guaranteed of being satisfied...ya ya ya , l get the " give a chance " etc but the point lm making here is maybe...just maybe ..their stable is full and they don't want anyone else.

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth

I know what you mean.. As a new comer it's hard not to feel like part of the clique.. For some it improves for others it never does.. Fab can be a particularly lonely place for a straight male.. Bearing in mind this thread will do you no favours.. It might well add you to the block list..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like doughnuts, bagels and hula hoops. "

Oh haven't had a hula hoop in years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know what you mean.. As a new comer it's hard not to feel like part of the clique.. For some it improves for others it never does.. Fab can be a particularly lonely place for a straight male.. Bearing in mind this thread will do you no favours.. It might well add you to the block list.. "

Block list is a badge of honour,,,been here 9 years on and off...the clique changes every few years ..best off out of it...they always fall out with themselves in the end

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By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

"I like doughnuts, bagels and hula hoops.

Oh haven't had a hula hoop in years"

They changed the recipe. Theyre meh now at best

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"I like doughnuts, bagels and hula hoops.

Oh haven't had a hula hoop in years

They changed the recipe. Theyre meh now at best"

I still like them

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By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

"I like doughnuts, bagels and hula hoops.

Oh haven't had a hula hoop in years

They changed the recipe. Theyre meh now at best

I still like them

Jaysus. We need to fill u up with tanora and tayto -- stat!!!

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"I like doughnuts, bagels and hula hoops.

Oh haven't had a hula hoop in years

They changed the recipe. Theyre meh now at best

I still like them

Jaysus. We need to fill u up with tanora and tayto -- stat!!!"

I have a bottle of tanora here and I prefer hula hoops to tayto

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By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

"I like doughnuts, bagels and hula hoops.

Oh haven't had a hula hoop in years

They changed the recipe. Theyre meh now at best

I still like them

Jaysus. We need to fill u up with tanora and tayto -- stat!!!

I have a bottle of tanora here and I prefer hula hoops to tayto

Pfftt. Fine. U have the hula hoops ill have the tayto

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By *issme39Woman
over a year ago

kildare

"I've a small circle of Fab friends I don't necessarily fuck them all they are just friends I've met through socials. I give newbies and unverified guys a chance all the time as well. But from track record I'm more likely to get flaked on by those then my friends or friends of friends. I rarely get a night off so it really pisses me off to give someone a chance and they don't turn up! "

and we all adore our friend too

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

"There are members on this site who have a thorough and intimate understanding of what is required, attitude wise, to succeed on this site in the long term.

Very well put

I think I understand what the 'serious' members on this site are looking for; a group of trusted friends with whom to socialise and play on a regular basis, and explore aspects of each others sexualities in a secure discreet environment where boundaries are pushed, incrementally!

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By *hyeyesMan
over a year ago

meath

Will I be able to get a bank loan off the golden circle

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By *atts n titsCouple
over a year ago

everywhere

We're here for the meets not the friend's list

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By *on Draper2.0Man
over a year ago

Maynooth

I would add to this and say, the circles are not closed, they are guarded. Big difference. If any circle is indeed closed then it will eventually evaporate.

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By *dfabMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne

I'm on the circle!

Ladies PM me for the secret code to enter and the extremely long list of rules.

Must be accompanied with squirting video or entry will be ignored

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By *ensualnFunCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"If the people are that toxic do you really want to be associating with them?

Plenty of folks here who aren't in any particular circles.

People seem to be getting really wound up about how others are using and behaving on here atm.

If things are bothering you that much maybe take a break?"

Live and let live… there are plenty of people on fab!

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By *atherjackhackettMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

I wouldn't say there are any closed circles but there are very evident cliques which is somewhat understandable if people have met and are familiar and friendly with eachother. When I was on here a couple of years back it was others. It changes from time to time. No harm in it in any case. If it bothers anyone why not create your own set of friends...and clique...

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

There will always be little circles of friends or people who find they have things in common and it's the same no matter where you go.

There are so many more people though who aren't in any of those circles so the chances of bumping into someone like that is actually much higher.

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By *Sparkie.Man
over a year ago

Ratoath

I think this is similar to walking into a bar at midnight and walking up to a table of strangers who have been there since 7pm.

Itll be tough to break into they're company, they aren't rude, they just don't know you, some are happy in the circle they are in and don't want to meet knew people, there comes a point where you get fed up with the messages, the winks and you stick with a close group.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like doughnuts, bagels and hula hoops. "

I hope you're good at sharing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP i would strongly suggest going to parties it definitely is the best way to get to know people. I totally understand how it must feel as a single guy and yes there are some toxic people. But you will get people as such everywhere in and out of this scene, just try not interact with whom ever you do think is toxic. I do wish you all the best don't give up it's a great lifestyle, keep knocking on the door of heaven and the Gods and Godesses will surely answer. So say your prayers. lol

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