FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Ireland

Jaded

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi,

I have never posted here and I occasionally read, so I hope I will stick to the forum charter.

I am continuously debating my presence on here, even though I find elements of the site interesting. However, after once again being subjected to a tirade of condescending, rude messages, followed by a swift block on his end, I would like to know if this behaviour is common on here. It has happened to me at least five times now and it is always after somebody has portrayed themselves as somebody quite different. Then, the mask slips...

While we were merely conversing, and I had already highlighted several times that I didn't think we were suited, I was really surprised by this outburst. And, while I won't be taking any of it to heart, I just cannot believe how anybody would think it okay to send such condescending, mocking messages, using information contained within my profile, or information I had shared, as a basis to mock my presence on here. Repeatedly, I get feedback about how guarded I am on here... This is a huge part of why! I have had some nice interactions, but too many are anything but. I don't mislead anybody and I go out of my way to respond to messages, once they aren't rude/abusive.

Anyway, I feel jaded by the misrepresentation and I have only been on here since July. I am quite happy to leave everybody in their respective corners and respectfully salute them, if we come into contact. I am fully aware that the vast majority on here will be seeking something different to what I am open to and I am fully okay with that. I wish some others could be just as okay with my choices or, at least, not feel they have to send me message, after message, pulling me apart.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ussie MMan
over a year ago

near sandyford


"Hi,

I have never posted here and I occasionally read, so I hope I will stick to the forum charter.

I am continuously debating my presence on here, even though I find elements of the site interesting. However, after once again being subjected to a tirade of condescending, rude messages, followed by a swift block on his end, I would like to know if this behaviour is common on here. It has happened to me at least five times now and it is always after somebody has portrayed themselves as somebody quite different. Then, the mask slips...

While we were merely conversing, and I had already highlighted several times that I didn't think we were suited, I was really surprised by this outburst. And, while I won't be taking any of it to heart, I just cannot believe how anybody would think it okay to send such condescending, mocking messages, using information contained within my profile, or information I had shared, as a basis to mock my presence on here. Repeatedly, I get feedback about how guarded I am on here... This is a huge part of why! I have had some nice interactions, but too many are anything but. I don't mislead anybody and I go out of my way to respond to messages, once they aren't rude/abusive.

Anyway, I feel jaded by the misrepresentation and I have only been on here since July. I am quite happy to leave everybody in their respective corners and respectfully salute them, if we come into contact. I am fully aware that the vast majority on here will be seeking something different to what I am open to and I am fully okay with that. I wish some others could be just as okay with my choices or, at least, not feel they have to send me message, after message, pulling me apart.

"

I am really sorry to hear that.

That really unnecessary

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

I think the best advice will come from other female members who aren’t meeting at present in terms of managing conversations when male correspondents know that the chat won’t lead to anything else.

Sorry to hear this . Hopefully the forum will be safe haven and a route to not exiting altogether

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had a presence at one time or another on most of the "swingers" websites that you'll find or could have found over the last 10+ years

A common thread is the abusive messages women get. That said it seems to be worse here than anywhere else which is probably a numbers thing.

Wouldnt be the first time ive thought "what the f is wrong with some people"?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yip it's common.

Its not going to change unfortunately.

You probably will get better at spotting red flags and avoiding as many interactions like that but if they really get to you then it may not be a great site for you to be on unfortunately.

The forums are a good outlet and way to avoid the general population while still interacting with simular minded people but really only you can decide if its worth hanging about

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use the forums is my best advice, it's fairly easy to spot the types you would avoid ,and you can easily block the same. If after that you get nasty messages ,report them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m even in WhatsApp group with friends and it’s amazing how some friends can be total assholes on the groups. People don’t seem to realise that the written word can hurt. If ya don’t have something nice to say, say naught!

I still have some great chats with folk on this, keep away from the others.

Try not take it personal.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

My advice would be that if you’re chatting to someone here and they’re pushing for a meet but you have no interest, don’t continue the conversation and block if needs be.

If you’re not meeting and the messages are overwhelming, either use your filters to restrict the incoming messages or hide your profile. That way you can choose to seek out people that you want to chat with.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hris 1000200Man
over a year ago

kells

Unfortunately, here as in life ,you are going to come across idiots,,I know I have ,the only advice I can give for what its worth,is , if people or things get you down ,,step away and do what make you happy.. good luck in your search

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aint_or_SinnerWoman
over a year ago

South County Dublin

I'm sorry to hear that your experience of Fab to date hasn't been all positive!

If you've been reading in the Forum you'll know you're not alone.

I personally was very similar in your approach to answering all or most messages politely at the beginning of my journey but quickly found my own little way of handling it without becoming derogatory or condescending myself.

I'm careful with how I present myself - my profile, my pics and my general attitude. I fully believe that you attract what you put out there but there will always be some undesirables.

My filters are tight, usually blocking incoming messages and I'd go hunting rather than be hunted. Looking out for the fakes, which you will eventually get a feel for.

I've rarely received repeat messages once stating a belief of non compatibility. Use the block button if it's not understood on the receiving end, sooner rather than later.

Unfortunately none of us will ever be able to change the behaviour of others. The only thing you can change is your behaviour and attitude to Fab and its many layers. Some might say a thick skin is needed.

I do hope you find a way to make Fab an enjoyable experience for you. There are many lovely, genuine men, couples and women here to have fun with, whatever you are looking for! You sound like the kind of woman that would be a big loss to the world of Fab .

Wishing you all the best on your journey x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *vpamelaTV/TS
over a year ago

kinkville

Go on the hunt instead of being hunted.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth

It's Best to stop conversing with men who you say are not suitable for you.. I know you are being polite but this is a sex site.. Instant gratification is what most men want and you being polite by replying almost seems like you are leading them on to the point of becoming angry and lashing out.. Block anyone who is not suitable for you and only engage with people who are suitable and you should have a far better outcome and experience here..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all,

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses, much appreciated! I will come back to these replies, once I have taken a little time to reevaluate.

Some great points have been made, so thank you!

In some ways, I think the crux of it is that I don't know how able I am for some of the messages on here. I don't have the thickest of skins. I am almost incapable of being rude, but I am very, very clear with people, in terms of whether I am open to anything more, or not.

Anyway, thanks again. It helped to let it out...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

If you have been clear that you don't want to meet someone and they keep pushing then just block them .It's not rude it's them who are trying to push you to meet. Anyone who is rude to you in messages just block as well there is no point in answering them as that's usually what they want they want a reaction and to upset you ignoring them is the easiest policy. Also like others have said use your filters and stop a lot or all mail and look for profiles that interest you first .That can be a lot easier than allowing lots to message you.

Everyone has their own reasons for being on here and their own reasons for meeting or not meeting at any time and you don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you are on here but not doing meets at any time.

Fab can be good craic and it's better to try and keep your experience as positive as you can on here. So don't worry about blocking people who try and ruin it for you because you aren't following the same path as them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always a few that let the rest of us down. Very sorry to here this!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Serious thick skin is required in this joint

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ex0x28Man
over a year ago

the middle


"Hi all,

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses, much appreciated! I will come back to these replies, once I have taken a little time to reevaluate.

Some great points have been made, so thank you!

In some ways, I think the crux of it is that I don't know how able I am for some of the messages on here. I don't have the thickest of skins. I am almost incapable of being rude, but I am very, very clear with people, in terms of whether I am open to anything more, or not.

Anyway, thanks again. It helped to let it out... "

Keep the head up there trolls for a reason

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Always a few that let the rest of us down. Very sorry to here this!!"

Once again as has been said many times, you can only let yourself down. Nasty comments by random men on the internet are no reflection on those who don't act that way.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *willfindyouWoman
over a year ago

Not looking to meet new peeps.

Hope you are ok xxx and be carefull of the lick asses on the forums they can be worse .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over


"Hope you are ok xxx and be carefull of the lick asses on the forums they can be worse . "

Yes I think going on the forum specifically to ‘pull’ is something I have observed quite a bit recently. I think it’s best to properly engage with it both for it to be of decent quality and also for those one is hoping to meet to get to know them .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *vpamelaTV/TS
over a year ago

kinkville


"Hope you are ok xxx and be carefull of the lick asses on the forums they can be worse . "

Lick ass on the forums? Where do I sign up?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hope you are ok xxx and be carefull of the lick asses on the forums they can be worse . "

Just wondering have you found me yet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP sorry ya gone thru shit that which several here and close fab friends have gone through... I know its easy for people to say best thing is to block and to not give a f*ck but understand while some can others may not be able to as easy... take the positives experiences from the site and use them to help not give a f*ck about the negative idiot side.

Happy fabbin Jock

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aint_or_SinnerWoman
over a year ago

South County Dublin


"Hope you are ok xxx and be carefull of the lick asses on the forums they can be worse .

Lick ass on the forums? Where do I sign up?"

There's a queue...in fact, there's a number of queues . Just decide which one you're going for:

1. Lick ass

2. Suck cock

3. Moan

4. Abuse

5. All else which includes none of the above

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over


"Hope you are ok xxx and be carefull of the lick asses on the forums they can be worse .

Lick ass on the forums? Where do I sign up?

There's a queue...in fact, there's a number of queues . Just decide which one you're going for:

1. Lick ass

2. Suck cock

3. Moan

4. Abuse

5. All else which includes none of the above

"

A little of column a and a little of column b

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hope you are ok xxx and be carefull of the lick asses on the forums they can be worse .

Lick ass on the forums? Where do I sign up?

There's a queue...in fact, there's a number of queues . Just decide which one you're going for:

1. Lick ass

2. Suck cock

3. Moan

4. Abuse

5. All else which includes none of the above

"

I choose 3....Why did you leave me?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aint_or_SinnerWoman
over a year ago

South County Dublin

[Removed by poster at 25/09/21 09:49:16]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aint_or_SinnerWoman
over a year ago

South County Dublin


"Hope you are ok xxx and be carefull of the lick asses on the forums they can be worse .

Lick ass on the forums? Where do I sign up?

There's a queue...in fact, there's a number of queues . Just decide which one you're going for:

1. Lick ass

2. Suck cock

3. Moan

4. Abuse

5. All else which includes none of the above

I choose 3....Why did you leave me? "

That queue is particularly loooooong Would you ever just try and stop skipping it! Wait your turn to moan

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/09/21 11:02:29]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m sorry to hear of your negative experience (s)

Perhaps have a little break and don’t answer any messages.

And try to attend some upcoming socials /M&gs etc

Way less pressure and a nice environment to meet some other like minded souls!

Take care of yourself.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice is to only keep chatting with guys who match you in pace and tone. Any feeling of being rushed against your will, or boundaries being pushed that trigger you, will only stress you. End that chat. You control your journey. No one else.

Im sorry to say you may find people arent consistent, and change to being more pushy when you move to other chat apps too.

But not all. There are some true gems here

It depends if you have the desire and patience to stick out the initial baptism of fire

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xplicitMan
over a year ago

donegal

Test them early, if they even hint at being twats block them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iquidRavenMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Tell them to go suck a lemon or get fucked

Some sad acts on this site

I've been turned down plenty of times on here. I just say sound, take it easy and move on

the day I start to abuse someone that turns me down would be the day I'd put my head in an oven

And for anyone that gets abusive be it male or female actually take a second and look at yourself

I find it baffling to be honest.. its the most vom inducing, cringe inducing, everything negative inducing trait someone can have imo

As well as a MASSIVE red flag

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you all for the various replies, much appreciated! All taken into consideration.

Take care!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top