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Starting a new life

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By *lassy lady 216 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Craigavon

Is it just men or are women allowed to have midlife crisis not sure what has brought it on but have just realised I'm not happy in my life and I'm 3yrs away from 50 has anyone ever felt like just packing up and starting again somewhere new where noone knows you or anything about you I just feel like all I have ever done in my life is look after others be it in my job or with family helping them out with babysitting etc just thought by know I would have a better life than what I do apart from when I'm in work for 12hrs each shift I spend the majority of the time on my own

.just feel like life is passing me by and I want to change things before it's too late

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it just men or are women allowed to have midlife crisis not sure what has brought it on but have just realised I'm not happy in my life and I'm 3yrs away from 50 has anyone ever felt like just packing up and starting again somewhere new where noone knows you or anything about you I just feel like all I have ever done in my life is look after others be it in my job or with family helping them out with babysitting etc just thought by know I would have a better life than what I do apart from when I'm in work for 12hrs each shift I spend the majority of the time on my own

.just feel like life is passing me by and I want to change things before it's too late "

I know the feeling , go for it. I'm happy with my job but the rest I feel is lacking so im trying to be more brave and do things alone

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By *aywhatnowMan
over a year ago

North County

If you have no serious ties or anything stopping you or holding you back to give it a second thought then go for it and the best of luck with it OP, many people dream of doing similar but never can or say they will and never do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did this in Dec 2016. Moved back to Ireland and havent regretted it one bit.Just go for it OP

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By *ilverfox74Man
over a year ago

dublin offaly

OP yes women do have kid life crises if that’s what you want to call it. I would call it just wzz as noting to be happy. Do what will make you happy for a change what ever that will be. Life is too short for regrets

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By *lassy lady 216 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Craigavon

What if you don't know what it is that makes you happy or what it is you want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey E...perhaps a short time out somewhere different might be what you need. Somewhere close enough that you can come back home but far enough away to give you a break. By taking a short time away you can get a proper feel of somewhere new but without the long term commitment if it's not right for you.

As you know, I went away supposedly for 6 months and stayed away for many years before coming back home so if you ever want to chat just give me a shout

K

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.


"What if you don't know what it is that makes you happy or what it is you want "

Talk to a life coach, or counsellor. Well worth the money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/09/21 22:22:45]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it just men or are women allowed to have midlife crisis not sure what has brought it on but have just realised I'm not happy in my life and I'm 3yrs away from 50 has anyone ever felt like just packing up and starting again somewhere new where noone knows you or anything about you I just feel like all I have ever done in my life is look after others be it in my job or with family helping them out with babysitting etc just thought by know I would have a better life than what I do apart from when I'm in work for 12hrs each shift I spend the majority of the time on my own

.just feel like life is passing me by and I want to change things before it's too late "

Figure out what you want to do, where you want to go and then trust that:

‘When you want something, the whole universe conspires in order for you to achieve it” — The Alchemist.

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By *ewitching1Woman
over a year ago

belfast

I hear you, big 5.0. Creeping up for me too. Sometimes it does no harm to stop and take stock of what you have, what's important and what you can kick to the curb. Good luck xx

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By *phrodite72Woman
over a year ago

dublin/galway

Maybe a better work life balance would be a good place to start..i know when i first seperated my ex never took the kids once so i had basically 2/3 years where i had zero life they were too old fir bsbysitters too young to b left on their own...then i discovered fab

The social side here is amazing if u could get along to some of the meet and greets or socials to make new friends...they are enormous fun everyone is very welcoming and ive made friends i see in 'real life' not just fab

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By *lassy lady 216 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Craigavon

I go to most of the socials and meet and greets and yes have made some good friends but again they all have there own lives families kids etc I have recently started going to Dublin for a group meet with a great bunch of guys we meet every 2/3wks it helps yes I definitely need a better work balance but working in the caring profession doesn't really allow for that and I can't afford to cut my hrs I'm struggling financially as it is yes think some time away to clear the head would do the world of good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't try to force things either. Constantly thinking what makes me happy? am I happy now? does this activity make me happy? rarely works.

If you are thinking about being happy, content, at peace etc you won't allow yourself to be any of those things. You have to be in the moment to enjoy life & not in your own head.

It sounds like some time out to yourself would benefit you greatly. Take stock on the little things you have in your life, people chase so much these days but the simple things & free things are were we can find the most joy.

Enjoy your break sounds like you deserve it & book it before you let something else get in the way

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By *axtanMan
over a year ago

los Cristianos now

I'm doing it now. Try it. I moved to Tenerife.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turning 50 was a tough time for me but honestly it gave me the kick in the ass to live life and be happy. A few major decisions made and I'm happy out. Counselling definitely helped on the journey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What if you don't know what it is that makes you happy or what it is you want "

I did a great course called 'The Artists Way' that helped me enormously in answering these questions for myself and rediscovering who I had always had the potential to be.

Pm me if you like xx

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By *axtanMan
over a year ago

los Cristianos now

[Removed by poster at 12/09/21 23:15:40]

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By *ilverfox74Man
over a year ago

dublin offaly


"What if you don't know what it is that makes you happy or what it is you want "

If you ask me no one really knows what will make them happy until they find it. We all know what makes us unhappy and by the sounds of things you do also so there’s a starting point. What you are doing now isn’t so make a change. It’s doesn’t have to be big. Baby steps. Bit by bit and you will find it.

On a light note and lately I keep thinking back to one song. The sun cream song. Funny but also so true.

https://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI

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By *ilverfox74Man
over a year ago

dublin offaly

[Removed by poster at 12/09/21 23:47:15]

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By *lay rock69Man
over a year ago

monaghan

I had to move out of the house start all over again work two jobs getting to the 50 as well some times i just go for a long drive stay over night in some place. working long hours does get to you thinking there more to life then this start off doing some thing different every week it might help you if you want any help just ask.

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By *obroyman17Man
over a year ago

Brilliant advice. I wouldn’t have had the words to say this but it’s definitely the advice I give.

One final bit, don’t focus on 50. It really is only a number and cos some peeps feel so more at ease when 50 compared to 30/40

Best wishes


"Don't try to force things either. Constantly thinking what makes me happy? am I happy now? does this activity make me happy? rarely works.

If you are thinking about being happy, content, at peace etc you won't allow yourself to be any of those things. You have to be in the moment to enjoy life & not in your own head.

It sounds like some time out to yourself would benefit you greatly. Take stock on the little things you have in your life, people chase so much these days but the simple things & free things are were we can find the most joy.

Enjoy your break sounds like you deserve it & book it before you let something else get in the way "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/09/21 00:57:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this in my late 30s. I woke up one day and decided to make changes. I dont regret it at all. Time to be selfish and go search for what makes you happy. No point living your life how others want it for you. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best advice i ever got from someone that helped me when i was in a rut was to stop and pause, take a breath, dont seek answer's in other peoples lifes. Write down 12 things that you want to do and 7 things that make you happy! Do 1 thing that makes you happy every day and 1 thing you want to do every month! Regardless of what it is or what people think at the end of it all we only have to answer to ourselves. Life is for living not existing. Hope things work out for you.

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

You can look at this in a number of ways

1.’ I am not happy in my life’ : could mean a mental health issue , such as depression , and might need a visit to the GP

2. It might mean a physical health issue like perimenopausal symptoms , so same advice

3. You’ve described some triggers.

A) Long shifts not easy to deal with as changing jobs difficult sometimes . I am sure if there was an easy alternative you would have done it . What about a course in your spare time or days off to give you options and help you meet others ? Something free, and not too stressy

B) baby sitting for relatives : you could say no sometimes but also means missing out on time with the kids . Saying no requires assertiveness . As some posters have said this might need a therapist but wait lists on the nhs and expensive privately

C) living on your own : a hobby is useful to get you meeting others. What’s going on locally where you live

There is lots of advice as to what works and doesn’t for me but each person is an individual . The more you see others , keep busy to stop over thinking , don’t bottle things up , speak your mind, be outdoors and be physically active, the better . Some of this is easier than the other bits.

I struggled for such a long time . I have only felt good in more recent times when I stopped doing things how they ‘should’ be done , and started doing what I want and what feels good. You might need to try a few different things before you know what you really want xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What if you don't know what it is that makes you happy or what it is you want

I did a great course called 'The Artists Way' that helped me enormously in answering these questions for myself and rediscovering who I had always had the potential to be.

Pm me if you like xx"

Yes highly recommended for any stage of life

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By *ildmovementMan
over a year ago

Dublin

OP, it will probably go against your nature but try to be more selfish. Might sound strange but the more time you put into people the more they expect it. Pull back by making little changes and learn to say no. Every couple of weeks in Dublin is just a way of blowing off steam and then going back to normal. It’s the normal you need to start making changes in just small bits at a time.

When you do this you will find you have more time on your hands, this is where some people don’t like what they find as they have nothing else to fill there time. But this is the time you need to find out what you like and what makes you happy in life.

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By *lassy lady 216 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Craigavon

Thanks everyone for the advice I just find it very hard to say no to people especially when it's family because I don't have any kids of my own I love spending time with my younger nieces and nephews I'm always happy when I'm with them going to book a few days away somewhere on my own and take on some of the advice this past 18mths have been so hard for everyone but as the saying goes today is a new day x

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

I think the key is having an idea about what you want. What do you feel is missing? What's the ultimate aim. What makes you happy? Where would you like to be?

Once you've got something to I'm for then it's a question of step by step trajectory.

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By *ildmovementMan
over a year ago

Dublin


"Thanks everyone for the advice I just find it very hard to say no to people especially when it's family because I don't have any kids of my own I love spending time with my younger nieces and nephews I'm always happy when I'm with them going to book a few days away somewhere on my own and take on some of the advice this past 18mths have been so hard for everyone but as the saying goes today is a new day x"

Most people find it hard to say no, but think about it this way for you to make your nieces and nephews happy you need to be happy. Don’t pressure yourself to try find what it is that makes you feel happy as trying to hard just fills that time with more stuff that ultimately won’t make you feel happy. Down time is exactly what you need but don’t think whale your away either. Just switch off.

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By *phrodite72Woman
over a year ago

dublin/galway


"Thanks everyone for the advice I just find it very hard to say no to people especially when it's family because I don't have any kids of my own I love spending time with my younger nieces and nephews I'm always happy when I'm with them going to book a few days away somewhere on my own and take on some of the advice this past 18mths have been so hard for everyone but as the saying goes today is a new day x"

Enjoy the few days away to unwind and relax and if you ever want to rant to a friendly non judgemental ear please feel free to pm anytime

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By *lay rock69Man
over a year ago

monaghan

Yes Enjoy your few days away hope you have fun xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Making changes like this can be daunting and it may seem impossible. But, from experience, I can only give the following advice - if you want to do it, just do it. Make some plans and have some safety nets in place.

You'll be able to live with taking a chance and it not working out a lot better than living with the regret of never trying and always wondering about what might have been.

Life is short. It's yours to live how you want.

Others can have all the opinions in the world about what you should do or how you should live.

Ultimately - it's your decision and yours alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it just men or are women allowed to have midlife crisis not sure what has brought it on but have just realised I'm not happy in my life and I'm 3yrs away from 50 has anyone ever felt like just packing up and starting again somewhere new where noone knows you or anything about you I just feel like all I have ever done in my life is look after others be it in my job or with family helping them out with babysitting etc just thought by know I would have a better life than what I do apart from when I'm in work for 12hrs each shift I spend the majority of the time on my own

.just feel like life is passing me by and I want to change things before it's too late "

It’s never too late to change career or your circumstances. Please try to give yourself the space and time to make the decisions which are in your very best interests. I took a long time to take the initiative and I wished I’d done it earlier.

I wish you all the very very best.

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By *oo32Man
over a year ago

tipperary


"Is it just men or are women allowed to have midlife crisis not sure what has brought it on but have just realised I'm not happy in my life and I'm 3yrs away from 50 has anyone ever felt like just packing up and starting again somewhere new where noone knows you or anything about you I just feel like all I have ever done in my life is look after others be it in my job or with family helping them out with babysitting etc just thought by know I would have a better life than what I do apart from when I'm in work for 12hrs each shift I spend the majority of the time on my own

.just feel like life is passing me by and I want to change things before it's too late "

It's never too late to change...have a look at some courses on springboard(a lady was talking about starting one today)

Chat to work and see can you change shift...

Start putting you first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it just men or are women allowed to have midlife crisis not sure what has brought it on but have just realised I'm not happy in my life and I'm 3yrs away from 50 has anyone ever felt like just packing up and starting again somewhere new where noone knows you or anything about you I just feel like all I have ever done in my life is look after others be it in my job or with family helping them out with babysitting etc just thought by know I would have a better life than what I do apart from when I'm in work for 12hrs each shift I spend the majority of the time on my own

.just feel like life is passing me by and I want to change things before it's too late "

I did this myself 4 years ago, packed up and moved abroad,best thing I ever did, it's easy to keep in touch with friends or family from anywhere in the world,and you'll find lots of like-minded people on your travels . Remember you only get to live once.

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