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The great schism

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By *ittle Miss Puddles OP   Couple
over a year ago

Your fantasies

So I was browsing male profiles yesterday and I asked Rainmaker for his insight as to why so many men on here seem to have no clue how to be sexy.

Rainmaker -"Well men our age were never given the impression growing up that we would have to put effort in to be attractive."

Puddles -"you mean you were taught you are good enough just as you are?"

Rainmaker - "yea basically"

Me - "wow! That's so healthy. No woman has been told that in over two thousand years"

I love to know your thoughts.

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over


"So I was browsing male profiles yesterday and I asked Rainmaker for his insight as to why so many men on here seem to have no clue how to be sexy.

Rainmaker -"Well men our age were never given the impression growing up that we would have to put effort in to be attractive."

Puddles -"you mean you were taught you are good enough just as you are?"

Rainmaker - "yea basically"

Me - "wow! That's so healthy. No woman has been told that in over two thousand years"

I love to know your thoughts."

Whilst I am not strictly speaking Irish , like many Irish guys My Mum has always told me that I am truly wonderful . A woman holding me to account was a bit of a shock to start with . Many ladies I talk to say the same about guys they meet through here . Might explain some of the one word messages also !!!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't remember any time in my life when I was given that reassurance. I grew up in a very supportive family but there was never a conscious discussion about behaviour or conduct or self esteem.

My self belief is the result of 49 years of hard work before discovering it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's subjective.

I think lots of men would come across far more sexy if you were to meet them in person, rather than profile pictures.

Its not as straightforward for dudes, we don't just put on some lingerie and flash the titties,although maybe this tread might enlighten me as to what exactly the realistic idea of sexy men is to the average lady on here.

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By *eterdunneMan
over a year ago

leixlip

Looking sexy is a personal thing. You don't do it for others, you do it for you. Men have a this is me as I am, judge me as you will attitude. Women, I think, assume they will be judged and compared purely on looks, so the make more of an effort to look sexy and attractive. They also like to feel sexy and rightly or wrongly, compliments can support this feeling.

Just my take on it. I could be way off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Women, I think, assume they will be judged and compared purely on looks, "

No assuming about it. Women are judged daily and even young girls are. Even from a young age and I think its got worse over the years

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

There's also the flip side of this where your comment about no woman ever being told that is widesweeping and completely wrong.

Taking fab out of the equation completely, for every woman out there who has suffered from low self esteem there is another who has always been told she is a princess and had always lived her life expecting to be treated as such and is often disappointed.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

[Removed by poster at 04/09/21 08:14:48]

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By *ombikerMan
over a year ago

the right side of the river


" Women, I think, assume they will be judged and compared purely on looks,

No assuming about it. Women are judged daily and even young girls are. Even from a young age and I think its got worse over the years "

Who judges women?

Is it that women tend to judge themselves, or other women judge other women.

As I don’t think many men are very judgmental against women. (I’m sure there will always be a small minority that are)

But for the most part the only criticism of women that I have heard tends to come from other women.

And as for men, most men don’t really care what strangers think of them, they can look in the mirror and think yes I’m a sexy beast no matter how they look.

Helicopter dance optional

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I must be lucky with profiles I've looked as I've seen plenty of sexy male profiles on here .Of course there are plenty who don't make much of an effort but the same can be said for both genders on here.

Everyone has their own ideas too of what sexy and attractive is so it's good that their is a diversity on here and people can find others who suit them .

As for judging others everyone gets judged on here and in real life for lots of different reasons.But no one should have to change their way of doing things just because someone else doesn't agree.Follow your own path on here and pay less heed to those who are traveling a different one .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Women, I think, assume they will be judged and compared purely on looks,

No assuming about it. Women are judged daily and even young girls are. Even from a young age and I think its got worse over the years

Who judges women?

Is it that women tend to judge themselves, or other women judge other women.

As I don’t think many men are very judgmental against women. (I’m sure there will always be a small minority that are)

But for the most part the only criticism of women that I have heard tends to come from other women.

And as for men, most men don’t really care what strangers think of them, they can look in the mirror and think yes I’m a sexy beast no matter how they look.

Helicopter dance optional"

Really you don't think men judge women in vanilla life?

And yes women judge women too.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Not every man is lucky enough to get such high praise and confidence from parents. Does that mean that these DO make loads of effort on their appearance? I don't think so

I do have an innate sense that I'm good enough generally. Good enough looking. Intelligent enough. A good enough dad, etc.

Honestly i think it's not just what parents say.. its the patriarchy. Society sees men one way and women another. Tell a man he in attractive, powerful, confident, and in charge enough in his life then it will stick.

(Many generalisations here and this doesn't apply to all men in all situations obviously)

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Growing up when you get to a certain age you realise you're in competition with other men to have sex with women and women with men in general

Its a competition like others with winners and losers ....such is life

I can honestly say I was never told by my parents or my mates that I looked great or sexy ..it was up to me to find my own path

I did notice girls giving each other a boost when it came to looks or clothes

Reminds me of the film Grease ..the difference between the men and the women in that seems eternal

Later in life I realised that some people build themselves up by knocking others but its both sexes that do this

What some people find sexy others don't

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over


"Not every man is lucky enough to get such high praise and confidence from parents. Does that mean that these DO make loads of effort on their appearance? I don't think so

I do have an innate sense that I'm good enough generally. Good enough looking. Intelligent enough. A good enough dad, etc.

Honestly i think it's not just what parents say.. its the patriarchy. Society sees men one way and women another. Tell a man he in attractive, powerful, confident, and in charge enough in his life then it will stick.

(Many generalisations here and this doesn't apply to all men in all situations obviously)"

Particularly in some rural families where the arrival of the farm heir is a cause of celebration after the anxious wait following the birth of a couple of daughters , with a complete lack of understanding as to how that would make the daughters feel long term

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/09/21 09:11:29]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not every man is lucky enough to get such high praise and confidence from parents. Does that mean that these DO make loads of effort on their appearance? I don't think so

I do have an innate sense that I'm good enough generally. Good enough looking. Intelligent enough. A good enough dad, etc.

Honestly i think it's not just what parents say.. its the patriarchy. Society sees men one way and women another. Tell a man he in attractive, powerful, confident, and in charge enough in his life then it will stick.

(Many generalisations here and this doesn't apply to all men in all situations obviously)"

All true IMO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not here to prove to anyone else I am sexy , worth while , etc.... if we both like each other as we are then we click , if ya don't we don't it wasn't meant to be...

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By *agnus5000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere

[Removed by poster at 04/09/21 09:26:00]

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By *agnus5000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere

Unfortunately we are all bombarded daily with images designed to undermine our confidence about our appearance, status etc and that the solution is to buy this product or service and everything will be (temporarily) fine. Fortunately we all have the choice to take this as try to or ignore it as we see fit. One of the ways women seem to be targeted on this way is around appearance, hence the need to counteract this with a greater need to try to be “sexy” to get a mate or your all going to die alone in a house full of cats and broke crockery with a terrible haircut and hairy legs. Men are targeted more around status and so the products and services we’re convinced to but revolve more around cars and the emasculating middle aisle in Lidl. Men seem to less targeted around appearance so perhaps this is why we haven’t been sold the ideal of being sexy in the first place? However, there are some great resources out there to help us with that. A great book is The Way of The Superior Man, by David Deida. Or we could just learn to burlesque in a sexy suit whilst giving smouldering looks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there was judgement on boys even on the 80s although it was only slightly on looks (how on trend the clothes you wore morso than being attractive)

I remember how being good at sport was a big deal. The kids who weren't would be ostracised slightly.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

Define 'sexy'.

What is sexually attractive to some isn't to others, basically beauty and beholder stuff.

Yes there's plenty of profiles that leave you as dry as the Gobi desert, but imagine all profiles were 'sexy', I'd certainly would start to hyperventilate or have a nervous breakdown.

Last but not least men are as burdened as women with social pressure, competition and ideals, they might not be the exactly same but the effect is the same. You can't avoid them but you can tweak the exposure.

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

I think we have a bit easier IMO

I mean masculinity and its toxicity is a shit show , and erections and cock size , and ratios on fab

, but no periods , menopause , make up , child birth , maternity leave impacting on career , shaving legs and armpits ,

And we can get away with only prepping five minutes to get ready for a meet

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over


"I think we have a bit easier IMO

I mean masculinity and its toxicity is a shit show , and erections and cock size , and ratios on fab

, but no periods , menopause , make up , child birth , maternity leave impacting on career , shaving legs and armpits ,

And we can get away with only prepping five minutes to get ready for a meet "

Wearing heels , babies latching on to the breast , expressing milk , going to the toilet during festivals , PMT, and the list goes on and on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Puddles: "Wow its so healthy that so many men are given the message they are good enough and feel confident"

Also Puddles: "Why do so many men here have no idea how to be sexy"

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"Puddles: "Wow its so healthy that so many men are given the message they are good enough and feel confident"

Also Puddles: "Why do so many men here have no idea how to be sexy"

"

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By *risharrowMan
over a year ago

clare


"I think we have a bit easier IMO

I mean masculinity and its toxicity is a shit show , and erections and cock size , and ratios on fab

, but no periods , menopause , make up , child birth , maternity leave impacting on career , shaving legs and armpits ,

And we can get away with only prepping five minutes to get ready for a meet

Wearing heels , babies latching on to the breast , expressing milk , going to the toilet during festivals , PMT, and the list goes on and on "

I hope people know where me heart is here and don't misconstrue this for me being a prick, but I feel so blessed for being born male. For all the points listed above plus many more that were probably missed due to the fact we're probably completely unaware of them.

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By *risharrowMan
over a year ago

clare


"So I was browsing male profiles yesterday and I asked Rainmaker for his insight as to why so many men on here seem to have no clue how to be sexy.

Rainmaker -"Well men our age were never given the impression growing up that we would have to put effort in to be attractive."

Puddles -"you mean you were taught you are good enough just as you are?"

Rainmaker - "yea basically"

Me - "wow! That's so healthy. No woman has been told that in over two thousand years"

I love to know your thoughts."

I think it's less to do with confidence and more to do with statements like "sure who'd be looking at ya"

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By *risharrowMan
over a year ago

clare


" Women, I think, assume they will be judged and compared purely on looks,

No assuming about it. Women are judged daily and even young girls are. Even from a young age and I think its got worse over the years "

A survey conducted in Britain of girls aged 11 when asked what is their most important quality was and the vast majority said their looks. I can't find the study to reference at the moment but it was said on a interview on the Sean Moncrieff show a year or so ago.

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By *ettaManMan
over a year ago

Kerry and Dublin


"So I was browsing male profiles yesterday and I asked Rainmaker for his insight as to why so many men on here seem to have no clue how to be sexy.

Rainmaker -"Well men our age were never given the impression growing up that we would have to put effort in to be attractive."

Puddles -"you mean you were taught you are good enough just as you are?"

Rainmaker - "yea basically"

Me - "wow! That's so healthy. No woman has been told that in over two thousand years"

I love to know your thoughts."

Catholic Ireland

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By *ittle Miss Puddles OP   Couple
over a year ago

Your fantasies

Thank you to everybody that commented. Stay sexy!!!

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

It’s like that meme you see the man expects the woman to wear sexy lingerie while he wears boxers with holes in them

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