FabSwingers.com forum: Rejecting nicely

By *lippery-when-wet-180 OP Woman
over a year ago

South Dub

I don’t like to be rude, I find it very difficult to tell a guy he’s not my type or once we’ve swapped pics he’s not my cuppa, once we’ve been chatting! I am fine at not replying to all and I am filtered as much as fab lets me lol

How do you do it

looking for some helpful tips

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t like to be rude, I find it very difficult to tell a guy he’s not my type or once we’ve swapped pics he’s not my cuppa, once we’ve been chatting! I am fine at not replying to all and I am filtered as much as fab lets me lol

How do you do it

looking for some helpful tips

OK I get message

a simple Jock i wouldn't kiss ya if last guy on fab would have been OK ...could have handle that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you do it

looking for some helpful tips

Rejection is never nice. I'm not sure there is a best way to do it. I've had all different ways. Only recently I got ghosted after exchanging face pics.

You obviously care so I'm sure whichever way you see fit is as kind as you can get.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something like "Im sorry, you seem like a lovely person, but I wont waste your time any further, you arent my type"

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By *lippery-when-wet-180 OP Woman
over a year ago

South Dub

How do you do it

looking for some helpful tips

OK I get message

a simple Jock i wouldn't kiss ya if last guy on fab would have been OK ...could have handle that

Jock I wouldn’t kiss ya if you were the last guy on fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree , not nice but easiest way is direct way ... sorry but No ... if they get offended it's there problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you do it

looking for some helpful tips

OK I get message

a simple Jock i wouldn't kiss ya if last guy on fab would have been OK ...could have handle that

Jock I wouldn’t kiss ya if you were the last guy on fab

Message received

thank you for honesty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a fella here, it’s exceptionally rare to get even a “no thanks, I don’t think we’ll be compatible”-type message, when more often than not we just end up being ghosted.

If you send any message saying anything really Ms Slippery, you’d be better and far more polite than most, in my experience.

Had a nice, no thanks message from a couple a few months back that was polite, respectful and complementary, and completely restored my faith in this place.

My opinion is that manner cost nothing, but I do understand the ratio of messages you ladies and couples get is sometimes overwhelming to reply to every message, however if we have exchanged messages a bit, I’d expect some sort of response out of courtesy.

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By *onegal82Man
over a year ago

letterkenny/Belfast

Its never easy to tell or be told ur not interested. But personally I'd just rather truth tbh. Sorry ur lovely and nice but just nit my type or what I'm looking for. I feel its easier to take if people honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its never easy to tell or be told ur not interested. But personally I'd just rather truth tbh. Sorry ur lovely and nice but just nit my type or what I'm looking for. I feel its easier to take if people honest. "

This is a perfect let-down, nice and respectful.

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By *quinnMan
over a year ago

Limerick

"As a fella here, it’s exceptionally rare to get even a “no thanks, I don’t think we’ll be compatible”-type message, when more often than not we just end up being ghosted.

If you send any message saying anything really Ms Slippery, you’d be better and far more polite than most, in my experience.

Had a nice, no thanks message from a couple a few months back that was polite, respectful and complementary, and completely restored my faith in this place.

I'd imagine that if a woman does send the 'I'm sorry but I don't think we'd be compatible' message she'd immediately get a reply from the guy stating why they would be etc and probably multiple follow up msgs afterwards.

No reply or deletion of the msg is a reply in one sense, it's not ideal but women on here can't reply to all mails.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its definitely harder if you have been chatting for a bit before sharing pics as its glaringly obvious what the issue is even if there was a bit of chat/banter.

For me sharing pics upfront means u can ignore (standard enough on here) or just say sorry not my type upfront rather than getting into a chat and then having to ghost or say sorry not for me when there has been a bit of time and effort put in.

Sharing pics upfront may not be for everyone and ultimately u owe no1 anything but im like u and would want to say something but find it hard to phase it correctly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say "it was nice to meet you, but we're not interested in taking it further"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oops, misread that as after a social meet, if its only after a message, just say, "thank you for the message, but not for me"

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By *ostringslover888Man
over a year ago

south

I have to say I really appreciate a ‘I don’t think we’re compatible but I wish you all the best’ type message.

But I’m also fine with a message being deleted as a no thanks.

I hear some folks get abusive which is just ridiculous, keep the polite no thanks coming my way, at least I know the situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think best way is just be honest and up front, if they take it badly that's their issue, not fair stringing someone along giving some hope that down the line you may actually meet.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I just usually go with something along the lines as sorry I'm not interested in meeting as they are not my type and wish them well.

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By *eductively_SweetWoman
over a year ago

wexford

How do you do it

looking for some helpful tips

My lovely wife you should know its not about how to tell a person not interested. You can be nice as pie but it's more about The reaction you get back I find is more the issue in hand.

Realisticly there is no nice way rejection is rejection not nice however we do it.

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By *ilderMan
over a year ago

dublin

Personally I'd prefer to be just told, I hate it when I'm ghosted

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By *hilaboutMan
over a year ago

kilkenny

"Personally I'd prefer to be just told, I hate it when I'm ghosted"
.yes totally agree prefer truth than being ghosted..think alot more of the person that can be upfront

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By *hilaboutMan
over a year ago

kilkenny

[Removed by poster at 19/08/21 10:56:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First don't think rejection, you're simply making a choice based on what you see. I generally say.. Thanks for the photo you seem a great person but not my type, all the best

If a person takes it too personally I view that as their issue, not mine. If I don't float someone's boat I accept it I mean, what can you do. Lol

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By *r NovemberMan
over a year ago

Closer than you think

"First don't think rejection, you're simply making a choice based on what you see. I generally say.. Thanks for the photo you seem a great person but not my type, all the best

If a person takes it too personally I view that as their issue, not mine. If I don't float someone's boat I accept it I mean, what can you do. Lol"

Exactly this, not that rejection needs an explanation from either sexes but a simple message is always appreciated, well for me anyways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something like "Im sorry, you seem like a lovely person, but I wont waste your time any further, you arent my type"

Boom !!!

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By *ed_AliceWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

I phrase it in a way that highlights that we don't meet what each other is looking for, rather than a rejection of the person.

95% of the responses I get to this type of message are respectful & include a thanks, good luck.

I am selective who I engage with in the first place though. Obviously twatwaffles just get their messages deleted because I can tell they won't accept any kind of 'no'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just say "it was nice to meet you, but we're not interested in taking it further"

Do you work in HR

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By *OCONO5Couple
over a year ago

Sensual Center

your very attractive but sorry your not for us...enjoy fab ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just say "it was nice to meet you, but we're not interested in taking it further"

Do you work in HR

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

I feel your pain OP

We struggle with the face pic sharing thing as it doesn't convey personality, attitude, confidence.... all the things that make a person attractive. However, sometimes you know from a face pic that it simply ain't gonna happen regardless of aforementioned traits

So we prefer socials and parties where we can make a decision on attraction within 30 seconds

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

I got a great rejection message to the first ever message I sent out

They gave me advice on my profile

They told me I was a lovely man but not for them and thanked me for reading their profile and picking them in the first place

How great was that....I should have framed it

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By *oncupiscent_dreamMan
over a year ago

City

Do it however you like. We are all adults. We have all been rejected in cruel ways and in polite ways. We should all be used to it.

Even if you did it in the cruelest way possible it shouldn't hurt the other person. You're just an online but of text or a stranger in a cafe. A smile, a mod and a good luck is all you should get back.

It's true rejection is not nice, but it hardly ruins the day either. It shouldn't make you feel happy to be rejected but also not sad either, or hurt, and you should be happily drinking a cup of tea as you reply "okay, good luck finding someone you like"

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By *ollyballsMan
over a year ago

Carlow

As most don't open or reply. Getting a thanks but no thanks would be appreciated effort.

As many expect, just be respectful and if the guy isnt dope he should get the message and stop messaging.

If he is a dope delete and block

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

How about "go fuck yourself shrek" ??

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"How about "go fuck yourself shrek" ??"

It did hurt but I'm over it now

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By *ittlekinks38Woman
over a year ago

outside belfast x

Am maybe brutally honest but a simple

"am afraid your just not my type"

Should be enough unless they ask why? Or get offended fabs not for them then! There has to be some attraction...am certainly not everyone's cuppa tea and that's ok just tell me I've my big girl pants on lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a fella here, it’s exceptionally rare to get even a “no thanks, I don’t think we’ll be compatible”-type message, when more often than not we just end up being ghosted.

If you send any message saying anything really Ms Slippery, you’d be better and far more polite than most, in my experience.

Had a nice, no thanks message from a couple a few months back that was polite, respectful and complementary, and completely restored my faith in this place.

No reply or deletion of the msg is a reply in one sense, it's not ideal but women on here can't reply to all mails."

untrue in my experience, most say thanks for the reply and thats it.

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By *lippery-when-wet-180 OP Woman
over a year ago

South Dub

"How about "go fuck yourself shrek" ??"

I think I’ll go with this one

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By *quinnMan
over a year ago

Limerick

"As a fella here, it’s exceptionally rare to get even a “no thanks, I don’t think we’ll be compatible”-type message, when more often than not we just end up being ghosted.

If you send any message saying anything really Ms Slippery, you’d be better and far more polite than most, in my experience.

Had a nice, no thanks message from a couple a few months back that was polite, respectful and complementary, and completely restored my faith in this place.

No reply or deletion of the msg is a reply in one sense, it's not ideal but women on here can't reply to all mails.

untrue in my experience, most say thanks for the reply and thats it. "

Thats good, I had thought there might be an amount that try to convince they know better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly, I know if I was to be told as much I'd certainly prefer a straightforward "You're not for me" or even a blunt "Sorry, I don't find you attractive"; it's not rude to not find someone attractive at the end of the day!

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By *hett and scarlettCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

"Something like "Im sorry, you seem like a lovely person, but I wont waste your time any further, you arent my type"

That’s actually pretty perfect really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's interesting with about 40 responses in that it appears that it's all one sided on the "no thanks" front, and the men posting how they like to be let down gently.

Obviously It's perfectly fine for anyone to say no thank you to a potential meet for whatever reason, but I wonder how many men say no thank you?

Lee

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By *lippery-when-wet-180 OP Woman
over a year ago

South Dub

"It's interesting with about 40 responses in that it appears that it's all one sided on the "no thanks" front, and the men posting how they like to be let down gently.

Obviously It's perfectly fine for anyone to say no thank you to a potential meet for whatever reason, but I wonder how many men say no thank you?

Lee"

I have been ghosted many a time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was never great at saying no thank you tbh

It’s not an easy thing to do

Especially if the banter and suggestive chat has been good.

You’re disappointed and want to be polite.

So, to quote monty python

Run away!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dearest Edna.

I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where I am going, you cannot know. How I will get there... Mmmm I haven’t decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name… Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. –Woodrow

P.S. I'm gay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's interesting with about 40 responses in that it appears that it's all one sided on the "no thanks" front, and the men posting how they like to be let down gently.

Obviously It's perfectly fine for anyone to say no thank you to a potential meet for whatever reason, but I wonder how many men say no thank you?

Lee

I have been ghosted many a time

Well, yes, there are always those guys who never intend to meet and are just there for wanking fodder. I think they are a separate bunch again who just don't have the balls to meet.

Lee

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By *ogladyWoman
over a year ago

The bog

How do you do it

looking for some helpful tips

OK I get message

a simple Jock i wouldn't kiss ya if last guy on fab would have been OK ...could have handle that

Jock I wouldn’t kiss ya if you were the last guy on fab

Message received

thank you for honesty

I would say the same but I always end up kissing ya anyway..ha ha .

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"It's interesting with about 40 responses in that it appears that it's all one sided on the "no thanks" front, and the men posting how they like to be let down gently.

Obviously It's perfectly fine for anyone to say no thank you to a potential meet for whatever reason, but I wonder how many men say no thank you?

Lee"

I have a number of times even when it didn't warrant a polite reply.

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By *lippery-when-wet-180 OP Woman
over a year ago

South Dub

"It's interesting with about 40 responses in that it appears that it's all one sided on the "no thanks" front, and the men posting how they like to be let down gently.

Obviously It's perfectly fine for anyone to say no thank you to a potential meet for whatever reason, but I wonder how many men say no thank you?

Lee

I have been ghosted many a time

Well, yes, there are always those guys who never intend to meet and are just there for wanking fodder. I think they are a separate bunch again who just don't have the balls to meet.

Lee"

I do agree there a lot!! Even worse when you are left in a hotel alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's interesting with about 40 responses in that it appears that it's all one sided on the "no thanks" front, and the men posting how they like to be let down gently.

Obviously It's perfectly fine for anyone to say no thank you to a potential meet for whatever reason, but I wonder how many men say no thank you?

Lee

I have been ghosted many a time

Well, yes, there are always those guys who never intend to meet and are just there for wanking fodder. I think they are a separate bunch again who just don't have the balls to meet.

Lee"

And the ones who presumably got a better offer and will reappear 6 months later asking where we disappeared to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's interesting with about 40 responses in that it appears that it's all one sided on the "no thanks" front, and the men posting how they like to be let down gently.

Obviously It's perfectly fine for anyone to say no thank you to a potential meet for whatever reason, but I wonder how many men say no thank you?

Lee

I have been ghosted many a time

Been ghosted as well many times, that's why I started my two message down send third rule

... cause if person really wanna meet ya they will respond if the don't after second message ya weren't even close to meetin them... can't be everyone's cup of tea

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By *indenMan
over a year ago

Naas which is South West of Dublin

So men (myself included) would seem to prefer if they received a polite no thanks, you’re not my type, sort of reply, but the problem I gather is either the follow up messages when they do send a message like this, and I’m sure the volume of messages they would have to reply to to do this.

The middle ground I think, and both men and women would prefer this is, if it’s a first message then a no reply should probably be taken as an answer or reply, but if there has been a few messages exchanged, particularly if face pics have been sent, then a simple not my type message would be appreciated instead of just ghosting once pics are sent.

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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

"Ah biscuits would you ever piss off..." will do me nicely

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

It should be pretty obvious from my profile that I don't chase so anyone who has read it and then knocks my door hoping I'm going to run after them is going to be disappointed.

I don't send first contact messages for the same reason but if someone gets in touch and a few messages have been exchanged and they disappear mid conversation I accept that as lack of interest so I don't expect any further clarification.

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By *oft_sexy_sweetWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

"It should be pretty obvious from my profile that I don't chase so anyone who has read it and then knocks my door hoping I'm going to run after them is going to be disappointed.

This ^^^ If I don't receive a response I might be momentarily disappointed and then forget about it for the rest of my life. It's not a big deal imo.

But a REJECTION?? I'd rather pull my own teeth out. Pass. My ego is simply too enormous.

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By *lamorousBeautyLondonWoman
over a year ago

London

How do you do it

looking for some helpful tips

Rejection is painful, not only to receive but to give. Add to it that it can end in angry abuse back and it becomes very tempting to fade away like a beautiful butterfly.

I have some phrases that I use to express it in the briefest possible way (without giving reasons or explanations):

If the person sent me a message and I do not see any potential then I reply that as much as it pains me to write it, I do not believe that we would be a match.

If the discussions have progressed to arranging to meet for a coffee or a video call and something changes or if I have met them for a coffee but do not see any potential then I write to them that unfortunately I am no longer available.

If I am unsure or would potentially like to see them again but as part of the community then I do not know what to write and stop replying because there is no option available for me to express that - it does not seem like swingers have munches (it often is the case that I would be happy to know them and see them regularly in the community environment but I do not want to have sex with them or to be close friends)

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By * peas in a podCouple
over a year ago

Youghal

I find it best to just pull the band aid off and say, sorry but no.

If I can find something on their profile bio that I can use as non compatibility, then I'll go with that to save feelings.

If it has progressed to a social meet and I know I'm not interested in taking it further, I tell them so there's no mis communication or bejng told you were leading them.

It's a risk associated with face pictures and we're all adults and should take the rejection with a pinch of salt, say thanks and move on.

I've had a guy say no to me. I certainly didn't it personally. Thanked him for his honesty and wished him best.

I'm not about to get offended by a stranger on a swing site. I prefer the honesty so no one is wasting their time.

Unfortunately, in FAB life and reality, people don't give each other the curtesy of honesty enough.

Mrs. Pea

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By *ol_ieMan
over a year ago

Dublin west

If you can't take rejection in here you are going to struggle as a male especially.

Any thank but no thanks is better than being ghosted but either way it's the same thing.

The best bit is when you cross paths at a meet and greet and they ask how come you never messaged them and you explain that you did but I wasn't their type at the time.. Its happened me several times and a couple of them I'm still close to now even if it never went further.

Hard to get a feeling for someone over a profile post or text. 30 seconds in real life is better than a thousand messages

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

I just don’t reply . I think the idea of reading a rejection from me is so mortifying I wouldn’t wish it on anybody . Blocking also intensely satisfying

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Anonois sites, such as fan, facilitates some people to express their inherent nastiness, inhumanity, insensitivity or crassness.

Most others are polite, sensitive, humane and empathic.

Take the rough with the sooth; swings and roundabouts, etc.

Give the idiots a wide berth; you cannot be everyone's cup of tea.

It doesn't cost anything to be polite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be nice to get a reply to at least have a chance at being rejected lol

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

'Larder is already full' normally does the job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'Larder is already full' normally does the job.

I used to say my Dancecard is full!

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By *lamorousBeautyLondonWoman
over a year ago

London

"Anonois sites, such as fan, facilitates some people to express their inherent nastiness, inhumanity, insensitivity or crassness.

Most others are polite, sensitive, humane and empathic.

Take the rough with the sooth; swings and roundabouts, etc.

Give the idiots a wide berth; you cannot be everyone's cup of tea.

It doesn't cost anything to be polite.

Actually, it does - if you mean in terms of correspondence. It costs time, emotional labour and mental energy. Just pointing out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not gonna lie, when this happens to me I usually send back a shit photo of myself and hope it puts him off...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've no issue with being told I'm not someone's type.

I've always preferred that to being blocked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've sent my picture before and been told that "I'm not their type", been blocked and sometimes a no reply message. But maybe it's the shite selfie that I send as others have said you look better in reality!!! I guess the few pounds added in the picture is really true!!!

. But I take rejection well!! I just block them so I won't message them again!!

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By *agle eyed RobMan
over a year ago

Mallow

I once met a woman on fab and coz i am fit she told me she was too fat for me..that she wouldn't feel comfortable naked in front of me lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say what ya want, so many people on here REALLY need to develop thick cocks....I mean thick SKIN on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say thank you but im not sure we would be compatible. We've all been rejected though here, chin up, chest out and move on

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By *phrodite72Woman
over a year ago

dublin/galway

"Say what ya want, so many people on here REALLY need to develop thick cocks....I mean thick SKIN on here!

Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never had a no on fab. Tighten up the lot of you ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've never had a no on fab. Tighten up the lot of you ??"

Im tight enough already thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've never had a no on fab. Tighten up the lot of you ??

Im tight enough already thanks

Loosen up will ya….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've never had a no on fab. Tighten up the lot of you ??

Im tight enough already thanks

Loosen up will ya….

Im loose eno.....nevermind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've never had a no on fab. Tighten up the lot of you ??

Im tight enough already thanks

Loosen up will ya….

Im loose eno.....nevermind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've never had a no on fab. Tighten up the lot of you ??

Im tight enough already thanks

Loosen up will ya….

I guess we can be loose and tight all at once!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I recently rejected someone on here because they thought after a handful of messages that my bio was just for show and they pushed and pushed for a meet.

They then proceeded to contact one of my verifications to abuse them and tell them to back off.

When challenged they said they were doing me a favour and resorted to bodyshaming comments on their status.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I recently rejected someone on here because they thought after a handful of messages that my bio was just for show and they pushed and pushed for a meet.

They then proceeded to contact one of my verifications to abuse them and tell them to back off.

When challenged they said they were doing me a favour and resorted to bodyshaming comments on their status.

what is wrong with some people on here

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"I recently rejected someone on here because they thought after a handful of messages that my bio was just for show and they pushed and pushed for a meet.

They then proceeded to contact one of my verifications to abuse them and tell them to back off.

When challenged they said they were doing me a favour and resorted to bodyshaming comments on their status.

I was wondering about your profile update

Some people are bonkers

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

"I recently rejected someone on here because they thought after a handful of messages that my bio was just for show and they pushed and pushed for a meet.

They then proceeded to contact one of my verifications to abuse them and tell them to back off.

When challenged they said they were doing me a favour and resorted to bodyshaming comments on their status.

I was wondering about your profile update

Some people are bonkers

Never seen a quote with millimetres in it . That’s very precise

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"I recently rejected someone on here because they thought after a handful of messages that my bio was just for show and they pushed and pushed for a meet.

They then proceeded to contact one of my verifications to abuse them and tell them to back off.

When challenged they said they were doing me a favour and resorted to bodyshaming comments on their status.

what is wrong with some people on here

I always say nothing surprises me anymore and it's a word that gets bandied about often but the sense of entitlement that some people have on here is mindblowing. They really do seem to believe that people on here are just playthings and that when they are so gracious to get in touch men should be honoured.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just say thank you but im not sure we would be compatible. We've all been rejected though here, chin up, chest out and move on

You rejected????

. Had he a cane and a dog???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just say thank you but im not sure we would be compatible. We've all been rejected though here, chin up, chest out and move on

You rejected????

. Had he a cane and a dog???"

Course I have been

. We cant all be everyone's type.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just say thank you but im not sure we would be compatible. We've all been rejected though here, chin up, chest out and move on

You rejected????

. Had he a cane and a dog???"

I had to block her, wouldn’t take no for an answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just say thank you but im not sure we would be compatible. We've all been rejected though here, chin up, chest out and move on

You rejected????

. Had he a cane and a dog???

I had to block her, wouldn’t take no for an answer

Broke my heart you did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just say thank you but im not sure we would be compatible. We've all been rejected though here, chin up, chest out and move on

You rejected????

. Had he a cane and a dog???

I had to block her, wouldn’t take no for an answer

Broke my heart you did "

You harlot!!!!

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By *issusWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

"As a fella here, it’s exceptionally rare to get even a “no thanks, I don’t think we’ll be compatible”-type message, when more often than not we just end up being ghosted.

If you send any message saying anything really Ms Slippery, you’d be better and far more polite than most, in my experience.

Had a nice, no thanks message from a couple a few months back that was polite, respectful and complementary, and completely restored my faith in this place.

It has nothing to do with any ratios

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By *dfabMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne

Haven't read anything above as War & Peace would have been easier.

Just say No, sorry, you're not my type/for me.

Guys prefer direct yes/no

Happy Fabbing

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By *aiseanagusspraoiMan
over a year ago

city

"Something like "Im sorry, you seem like a lovely person, but I wont waste your time any further, you arent my type"

This is the best way. Straight blocks are rude and not very nice

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth

How do you do it

looking for some helpful tips

You just don't reply to their messages simples...

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By *oey4somefunMan
over a year ago

Dublin/Drogheda

A simple message like, your not for me or not my type. That is much better than a non reply or instant delete. It's nice to be nice after all especially when someone takes the time and effort to send a message in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A simple message like, your not for me or not my type. That is much better than a non reply or instant delete. It's nice to be nice after all especially when someone takes the time and effort to send a message in the first place."

It has been said so many times, some guys just don't accept that though and will ask why arent i your type? Lets chat see how we get on, I can change your mind etc. A no reply might not be ideal but it can just be easier.

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By *oey4somefunMan
over a year ago

Dublin/Drogheda

Ok well guys that can't except that deserve no explanation or reply after they message back but I for one always accept a no by replying thanks for letting me know anyway. Manners cost nothing. I don't understand the ones that can't take rejection. Such is life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I said thanks but no thanks to somebody yesterday and wished them well!

The response I got was “your in no position to be choosy” charming!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never mind the simple no. But, that's just me.

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth

I rejected a woman before for my own personal reasons.. Well she bad mouthed me to anyone who would listen I got messages from her comrades.. 1 was a death threat.. Women are rarely rejected and when they are many can't take it.. Work both ways for men too..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I rejected a woman before for my own personal reasons.. Well she bad mouthed me to anyone who would listen I got messages from her comrades.. 1 was a death threat.. Women are rarely rejected and when they are many can't take it.. Work both ways for men too.. "

Very sorry to hear that. I try to avoid any discussion of anyone else on here. I do get quite annoyed hearing from Fabbers about hassle they get on here.

I thought we were all adults.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I hate to be ghosted.

In an ideal situation I'd love a reply that was helpful if it were a case they had some advice for me but a sorry you are not my type is perfect too.

But I understand there are levels on here and that there are different types of people.

If a woman has in the past said no thanks and gotten abused verbally for it then I can appreciate why I get ghosted.

But my eyes have been opened on Fab. I never expected I'd be interested in parties or socials. I've always been quiet and reserved. But I went to one, had a blast and met a load of like-minded people with zero mutual attraction that I hope I see again at the next social, why? Because they are interesting and fun people.

So I suppose being rejected is totally ok and I know there are so many people here who are not here to make friends but this is also a community of like minded people. Be nice, ye may at least have a laugh and a drink together sometime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I hate to be ghosted.

In an ideal situation I'd love a reply that was helpful if it were a case they had some advice for me but a sorry you are not my type is perfect too.

But I understand there are levels on here and that there are different types of people.

If a woman has in the past said no thanks and gotten abused verbally for it then I can appreciate why I get ghosted.

Ghosting is just horrible. Admittedly I've been guilty of it as a younger and more foolish man, but it's not a practice that I would engage in any more.

You're right, be nice - at the very least a good laugh can come out of it.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Very sorry to hear that. I try to avoid any discussion of anyone else on here. I do get quite annoyed hearing from Fabbers about hassle they get on here.

I thought we were all adults."

Similar to the adults who badmouth others in private but then display new veries from them.

I often wonder if some people knew what was being said about them behind their back would they be so keen to flirt in the forums?

One of the reasons I am so selective in who I meet or chat to. I've learned from those mistakes.

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

I'd rather know the truth than been led on. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Rejection over a message from someone you have never met is not that dramatic really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well put sir.

I agree - and I'm very much learning to make my actions in public here match my private ones.

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By *avan5Man
over a year ago

cavan

Nothing worse than just not replying after a few messages. It’s just rude, much better to send a message and you are not interested and then everyone knows where they stand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone says there not interested, it’s not an issue for me personally, and really no big deal.

I just reply saying “ thanks for the message”

Manners and respect go a long long way, both on fab and real life

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By *imatureMan
over a year ago

sligo

How do you do it

looking for some helpful tips

"
just be honest I think is the best I do appreciate the honesty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One thing that baffles me still - people who'll accept a friend request but not reply to a message?

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By *eductively_SweetWoman
over a year ago

wexford

"One thing that baffles me still - people who'll accept a friend request but not reply to a message?"

They just want to see your friends only pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One thing that baffles me still - people who'll accept a friend request but not reply to a message?

They just want to see your friends only pics"

Granted, that's where I have the picture of the map to my secret treasure

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By *eductively_SweetWoman
over a year ago

wexford

"One thing that baffles me still - people who'll accept a friend request but not reply to a message?

They just want to see your friends only pics

Granted, that's where I have the picture of the map to my secret treasure

Ah damn I can't read maps

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Rudeness is unnecessary; follow the old showbiz dictum: be nice to people on the way up because you'll likely meet them (and need them) on the way back down!

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By *r FunlickerMan
over a year ago

Carrick on shannon

Cmon lads, tighten up on the rejection stuff. It's simple really, you tried, it didn't work out. Show a bit of self respect and act accordingly and hold your shit together and stop fucking it up for the rest of us. Manners are free!!

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By *r FunlickerMan
over a year ago

Carrick on shannon

[Removed by poster at 09/09/21 01:26:52]

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