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 . But is definitely made me see the woman's side of fab like guys it's a bit insane.. and I definitely see why sent messages aren't even opened now who has the time  #feelingenlighted  | |||
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"I think its getting to the stage where a woman's best option is to hide her profile and message/wink at the men/couples/women she's attracted to. Getting 2/300 messages a day is lunacy" Yup it's nuts...I was getting 500-800 msgs a day ... Still have 755 unread this min  | |||
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"I think its getting to the stage where a woman's best option is to hide her profile and message/wink at the men/couples/women she's attracted to. Getting 2/300 messages a day is lunacy Yup it's nuts...I was getting 500-800 msgs a day ... Still have 755 unread this min "I've never had that many since I joined lol and that would just drive me mad hate having unread messages its like emails bulk delete | |||
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"I think its getting to the stage where a woman's best option is to hide her profile and message/wink at the men/couples/women she's attracted to. Getting 2/300 messages a day is lunacy Yup it's nuts...I was getting 500-800 msgs a day ... Still have 755 unread this min "That's amazing, given the age preferences you have up | |||
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"I think its getting to the stage where a woman's best option is to hide her profile and message/wink at the men/couples/women she's attracted to. Getting 2/300 messages a day is lunacy Yup it's nuts...I was getting 500-800 msgs a day ... Still have 755 unread this min
That's amazing, given the age preferences you have up"I haven't blocked any ages cos I'm a little flexible depending on the person... So my profile is set to accept mail from any age & some are just platonic friends | |||
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"But for a newbie it can be a little intimidating, and I know when I started I would open fab, and close it again coz I thought where the hell do I start " I get that... But image opening it for weeks straight with zero interest shown to you or your profile. In my opinion thats going to be more disheartening... | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages" I would. Far better things to do with my time than read 100 odd messages, let alone anything above that. Especially the calibre I'm sure they involve. "Hi." "How are you?" "any craic?" I'm getting a agitated just thinking about it.  | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages" It can be "off-putting" cos unfortunately I have never ever got to read all my mail...I'm sure I've missed out on some Gems too | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages I would. Far better things to do with my time than read 100 odd messages, let alone anything above that. Especially the calibre I'm sure they involve. "Hi." "How are you?" "any craic?" I'm getting a agitated just thinking about it. "Granted but at least out if the 100 you might get 3 or 4 entertaining engaging ones, out of 0 you get 0 | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages I would. Far better things to do with my time than read 100 odd messages, let alone anything above that. Especially the calibre I'm sure they involve. "Hi." "How are you?" "any craic?" I'm getting a agitated just thinking about it.
Granted but at least out if the 100 you might get 3 or 4 entertaining engaging ones, out of 0 you get 0 "You get out what you put in as they say. | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages I would. Far better things to do with my time than read 100 odd messages, let alone anything above that. Especially the calibre I'm sure they involve. "Hi." "How are you?" "any craic?" I'm getting a agitated just thinking about it.
Granted but at least out if the 100 you might get 3 or 4 entertaining engaging ones, out of 0 you get 0
You get out what you put in as they say. "To a degree... I'd also suggest alot more of the more reasonable guys that join quit when there is no interest and don't want to be pestering every new female that joins. We end up with more of the pushy and creepy guys than the rest of society
There is also an element of luck involved | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages I would. Far better things to do with my time than read 100 odd messages, let alone anything above that. Especially the calibre I'm sure they involve. "Hi." "How are you?" "any craic?" I'm getting a agitated just thinking about it.
Granted but at least out if the 100 you might get 3 or 4 entertaining engaging ones, out of 0 you get 0
You get out what you put in as they say. "get out what you put in..hmmm I regularly get messages from lads saying hi nice cock can I suck it? Hmm haha maybe I need to put more effort in  still least it's not zero | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages I would. Far better things to do with my time than read 100 odd messages, let alone anything above that. Especially the calibre I'm sure they involve. "Hi." "How are you?" "any craic?" I'm getting a agitated just thinking about it.
Granted but at least out if the 100 you might get 3 or 4 entertaining engaging ones, out of 0 you get 0
You get out what you put in as they say.
To a degree...
I'd also suggest alot more of the more reasonable guys that join quit when there is no interest and don't want to be pestering every new female that joins. We end up with more of the pushy and creepy guys than the rest of society
There is also an element of luck involved "^^^^^^^ This is so true....Alot of the good, nice, genuine, legit guys do leave cos they don't get a look in with the influx of msgs & yes it's so very very true "We end up with more of the pushy and creepy guys than the rest of society" this has actually happened sometimes going by my "pushy/creepy" msgs & my personal Fab experience | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages I would. Far better things to do with my time than read 100 odd messages, let alone anything above that. Especially the calibre I'm sure they involve. "Hi." "How are you?" "any craic?" I'm getting a agitated just thinking about it.
Granted but at least out if the 100 you might get 3 or 4 entertaining engaging ones, out of 0 you get 0
You get out what you put in as they say.
To a degree...
I'd also suggest alot more of the more reasonable guys that join quit when there is no interest and don't want to be pestering every new female that joins. We end up with more of the pushy and creepy guys than the rest of society
There is also an element of luck involved "As I said, you get out what you put in. If people are going to quit and give up quickly then they aren't putting in much effort tbh. Certainly a bit of luck, but again you make your own luck too. If someone does the following and they aren't successful, they need to look closer to home as to why that is; A) has a well written, detailed profile B) has photos that give a good insight into his personality C) is active on the forms D) is active on the social side of things | |||
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" If someone does the following and they aren't successful, they need to look closer to home as to why that is; A) has a well written, detailed profile B) has photos that give a good insight into his personality C) is active on the forms D) is active on the social side of things " All the things you have said are true but who guides new profiles on what makes a a good profile and photos. As I said above I think a better site induction would help alot of that. The forum is hit or miss of someone even stumbles onto it or is lucky enough to be directed to it. And it can be intimidating for new users. Socials kinda depend on getting that interaction in the first place. I dont disagree that common sense and effort will go along way. But there still is a degree of luck | |||
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"I don't see the issue here tbh It's no different to other platforms with new profiles where new people are contacted all the time...repeatedly I'm aware from experience is off putting but with time one s out to fools and blocks them There's the uneducated on every platform unfortunately, hope your friend has a good experience here "hopefully she will return  | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages" Would you be excited to have 80 identical "hi", "hi", "How are you?", "good, you?", "not too bad, thanks" conversations though? | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages I would. Far better things to do with my time than read 100 odd messages, let alone anything above that. Especially the calibre I'm sure they involve. "Hi." "How are you?" "any craic?" I'm getting a agitated just thinking about it.
Granted but at least out if the 100 you might get 3 or 4 entertaining engaging ones, out of 0 you get 0
You get out what you put in as they say.
To a degree...
I'd also suggest alot more of the more reasonable guys that join quit when there is no interest and don't want to be pestering every new female that joins. We end up with more of the pushy and creepy guys than the rest of society
There is also an element of luck involved
As I said, you get out what you put in. If people are going to quit and give up quickly then they aren't putting in much effort tbh.
Certainly a bit of luck, but again you make your own luck too.
If someone does the following and they aren't successful, they need to look closer to home as to why that is;
A) has a well written, detailed profile
B) has photos that give a good insight into his personality
C) is active on the forms
D) is active on the social side of things "But what makes a good profile? See it regularly people posting giving out about profiles with too many conditions or demands, not enough info. Too many dick pics, no pics, too many veris , no veris. Also what's considered successful on a swing site? | |||
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"I don't see the issue here tbh It's no different to other platforms with new profiles where new people are contacted all the time...repeatedly I'm aware from experience is off putting but with time one s out to fools and blocks them There's the uneducated on every platform unfortunately, hope your friend has a good experience here "Don't get as many dick pics or fancy a fuck I'm passing through on pof or tinder | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages Would you be excited to have 80 identical "hi", "hi", "How are you?", "good, you?", "not too bad, thanks" conversations though? "Ideally of course not. Vs zero conversations where I can still pick and chose who I reply to I absolutely would | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages" I find volume extremely off-putting, regardless whether they're abusive or creepy (I don't actually get those, even when I am out of hiding and have opened the filters). That's why I'm usually in hiding and/or have all new incoming messages blocked! Sifting through profiles of interest in your inbox in combination with the few messages that are of interest is time consuming. Trying to then find those chats you have started amongst the sea of no-goes is a chore for someone who likes a tidy inbox ( ) and "quality" messages answered in a reasonable timeframe. | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages I would. Far better things to do with my time than read 100 odd messages, let alone anything above that. Especially the calibre I'm sure they involve. "Hi." "How are you?" "any craic?" I'm getting a agitated just thinking about it.
Granted but at least out if the 100 you might get 3 or 4 entertaining engaging ones, out of 0 you get 0
You get out what you put in as they say.
To a degree...
I'd also suggest alot more of the more reasonable guys that join quit when there is no interest and don't want to be pestering every new female that joins. We end up with more of the pushy and creepy guys than the rest of society
There is also an element of luck involved
As I said, you get out what you put in. If people are going to quit and give up quickly then they aren't putting in much effort tbh.
Certainly a bit of luck, but again you make your own luck too.
If someone does the following and they aren't successful, they need to look closer to home as to why that is;
A) has a well written, detailed profile
B) has photos that give a good insight into his personality
C) is active on the forms
D) is active on the social side of things
But what makes a good profile? See it regularly people posting giving out about profiles with too many conditions or demands, not enough info. Too many dick pics, no pics, too many veris , no veris.
Also what's considered successful on a swing site? "People will always complain.
Best way is for each person to judge their own profile and to decide if it is good or not. Chances are most men put zero actual thought into it though. They just lash out a few generic lines and then lash up a few generic photos and then start lashing out the messages.
Again, what constitutes successful is up to each individual to decide. | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages Would you be excited to have 80 identical "hi", "hi", "How are you?", "good, you?", "not too bad, thanks" conversations though?
Ideally of course not.
Vs zero conversations where I can still pick and chose who I reply to I absolutely would "But how can you pick and choose if they all look the same too? Identical "fill in later" "ask me anything" profiles with photos of their willies from six different angles or no photos at all? | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages Would you be excited to have 80 identical "hi", "hi", "How are you?", "good, you?", "not too bad, thanks" conversations though?
Ideally of course not.
Vs zero conversations where I can still pick and chose who I reply to I absolutely would
But how can you pick and choose if they all look the same too?
Identical "fill in later" "ask me anything" profiles with photos of their willies from six different angles or no photos at all? "Honestly I'd still rather 100 shite emails with the chance of 1 decent one than zero because the potential is still there and messages can be filtered out you can't use filters to get them. But look I'm speaking from a new males perspective so I guess it doesn't compare because if as a couple or women if you got zero messages you would still certainly be able to find some interactions on here easily enough. | |||
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"A friend of mine joined 2 weeks ago, in 2 days she had 327 messages, a male friend joined on Monday he’s had 5(all men), lol it’s crazy" Hence males blocked... I used to have 10 to 20 a day lol.. I have always said I'd hate to be a woman on a swing site cause the amount of emails they get, then the amount of nasty emails for not replying or saying no thanks. | |||
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"Lol jokes I still don't but yesterday a good female friend of mine joined fab ( nothing sexual just great mates) she was on for about an hour.. didn't upload a single pic or bio and had like over 100 messages from all over the country in like 20 mins. Like wow! Overwhelmed and a little creeped out by some too she told me. Anyway she deleted . But is definitely made me see the woman's side of fab like guys it's a bit insane.. and I definitely see why sent messages aren't even opened now who has the time #feelingenlighted "I find the guys who jump on new profiles as predatory. The same guys will complain when a new profile turns out to be fake, it's screams of desperation | |||
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" I find the guys who jump on new profiles as predatory. The same guys will complain when a new profile turns out to be fake, it's screams of desperation" I have to agree. Any time I've left and come back it's the same profiles messaging straight off the bat. This is before profile is fleshed out or images added. But you get to know the names and the block button is a saviour.. As for the volume of messages women receive, this obviously dies down the longer you're here.. Otherwise you'd need the entire Irish male population to be on Fab to receive that many new messages a day!! Get 1/2 a day depending on how long I'm logged on. Very manageable  | |||
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"I don't see the issue here tbh It's no different to other platforms with new profiles where new people are contacted all the time...repeatedly I'm aware from experience is off putting but with time one s out to fools and blocks them There's the uneducated on every platform unfortunately, hope your friend has a good experience here
Don't get as many dick pics or fancy a fuck I'm passing through on pof or tinder "tinder has a face pic so I'm guessing some have to behave them selves In that regard POF makes fab look innocent in my experience... but each to their own | |||
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"I’ve got two messages today and to be honest I don’t know where to start, snowed under!!! lol" You got 2 more than me | |||
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" I find the guys who jump on new profiles as predatory. The same guys will complain when a new profile turns out to be fake, it's screams of desperation I have to agree. Any time I've left and come back it's the same profiles messaging straight off the bat. This is before profile is fleshed out or images added. But you get to know the names and the block button is a saviour.. As for the volume of messages women receive, this obviously dies down the longer you're here.. Otherwise you'd need the entire Irish male population to be on Fab to receive that many new messages a day!! Get 1/2 a day depending on how long I'm logged on. Very manageable "Agreed…on a normal day, def less than 5 people messaging. If I’ve posted a new pic or a status then a couple more. If you change your location or are new, you will get more because you’re “fresh meat”. In that case, filters are your friend. In all honesty though, it’s not hard to delete messages that you’re not interested in. As for friends invites, very easy to ignore and best to leave them sitting there so people can’t repeatedly send invites. | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages Would you be excited to have 80 identical "hi", "hi", "How are you?", "good, you?", "not too bad, thanks" conversations though?
Ideally of course not.
Vs zero conversations where I can still pick and chose who I reply to I absolutely would
But how can you pick and choose if they all look the same too?
Identical "fill in later" "ask me anything" profiles with photos of their willies from six different angles or no photos at all?
Honestly I'd still rather 100 shite emails with the chance of 1 decent one than zero because the potential is still there and messages can be filtered out you can't use filters to get them.
But look I'm speaking from a new males perspective so I guess it doesn't compare because if as a couple or women if you got zero messages you would still certainly be able to find some interactions on here easily enough.
"You're not reading between the lines though. There is not a single thing that sets you apart from another 60000 blank profiles with no photos, written profile and no veris. Why would someone message you? As someone said before - you get what you put in! Yes, women and couples get more messages, but when you compare the quality of those messages - men, women and couples are all even here. Just because men don't get many messages doesn't mean that women or couples get many meets. | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages Would you be excited to have 80 identical "hi", "hi", "How are you?", "good, you?", "not too bad, thanks" conversations though?
Ideally of course not.
Vs zero conversations where I can still pick and chose who I reply to I absolutely would
But how can you pick and choose if they all look the same too?
Identical "fill in later" "ask me anything" profiles with photos of their willies from six different angles or no photos at all?
Honestly I'd still rather 100 shite emails with the chance of 1 decent one than zero because the potential is still there and messages can be filtered out you can't use filters to get them.
But look I'm speaking from a new males perspective so I guess it doesn't compare because if as a couple or women if you got zero messages you would still certainly be able to find some interactions on here easily enough.
You're not reading between the lines though.
There is not a single thing that sets you apart from another 60000 blank profiles with no photos, written profile and no veris.
Why would someone message you?
As someone said before - you get what you put in!
Yes, women and couples get more messages, but when you compare the quality of those messages - men, women and couples are all even here.
Just because men don't get many messages doesn't mean that women or couples get many meets. "I'm not actually speaking for myself. I was speaking in general. I've been here before with a properly fleshed out profile. And I'm not talking about getting meets. We were speaking about what initially drives people away from the site. And my point was no interaction would drive me away quicker than too many. Read the thread and read my profile I'm not here looking to get meets but thanks for the unasked comments on my profile. No need to read between the line sometimes if you read the ones that are actually written down | |||
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"But for a newbie it can be a little intimidating, and I know when I started I would open fab, and close it again coz I thought where the hell do I start " agreed. its an avalanche. completely overwhelming. I put my profile private for 2 weeks pretty quickly after I joined so I could just have a look around in peace til i got the hang of it. | |||
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"I can understand a woman who had just joined feeling intimidated with a huge number of messages but anyone who has been here a while and has hundreds of unread messages needs that level of validation. Bulk delete the messages and use the available filters to reduce the influx. The unread message saga is the female equivalent of a sky remote and is waved around to show that mines bigger than yours. It's laughable that some people are scared to use filters because they have a fear of missing out and it's become a badge of honour to tell everyone how many messages they haven't read or don't have time to read. There's no point whinging about the quality of said messages if you don't open the vast majority of them. " Quote - "The unread message saga is the female equivalent of a sky remote and is waved around to show that mines bigger than yours". ^^^^^^^ Lol...I don't think this is the case at all 
It's a known fact some women on here receive vast amount of mail regardless of how long we are on the site.
I also did mention earlier on this thread how many unread mail I had because it was very relevant to the OPs opening mail. I was more or less saying that alot of mail does go unread because it's automatically deleted by site system & some peeps thinks it's the receivers of such mail that are deleting without reading which is very untrue. Hence the uncalled for unprovoked abusive mail may start...
It's defo not the case that Quote - "There's no point whinging about the quality of said messages if you don't open the vast majority of them." It's actually not possible to open all the mail as alot disappears from the page & as I said lots is also automatically deleted by site system  I definitely wouldn't call it a case of "whinging" either when it comes to receiving unprovoked with no communication disturbing abusive msgs...
The forums are here for a reason...one being to voice such issues etc...
So just to clarify its most certainly not the case that Quote - "It's become a badge of honour to tell everyone how many messages they haven't read or don't have time to read"...
From time to time I will mention it in relevant forum posts to explain why msgs do go unread & that we have absolutely no control of them being deleted by site system & that it's most certainly not the case that I am being rude. | |||
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"I can understand a woman who had just joined feeling intimidated with a huge number of messages but anyone who has been here a while and has hundreds of unread messages needs that level of validation. Bulk delete the messages and use the available filters to reduce the influx. The unread message saga is the female equivalent of a sky remote and is waved around to show that mines bigger than yours. It's laughable that some people are scared to use filters because they have a fear of missing out and it's become a badge of honour to tell everyone how many messages they haven't read or don't have time to read. There's no point whinging about the quality of said messages if you don't open the vast majority of them. Quote - "The unread message saga is the female equivalent of a sky remote and is waved around to show that mines bigger than yours". ^^^^^^^ Lol...I don't think this is the case at all
It's a known fact some women on here receive vast amount of mail regardless of how long we are on the site.
I also did mention earlier on this thread how many unread mail I had because it was very relevant to the OPs opening mail. I was more or less saying that alot of mail does go unread because it's automatically deleted by site system & some peeps thinks it's the receivers of such mail that are deleting without reading which is very untrue. Hence the uncalled for unprovoked abusive mail may start...
It's defo not the case that Quote - "There's no point whinging about the quality of said messages if you don't open the vast majority of them." It's actually not possible to open all the mail as alot disappears from the page & as I said lots is also automatically deleted by site system I definitely wouldn't call it a case of "whinging" either when it comes to receiving unprovoked with no communication disturbing abusive msgs...
The forums are here for a reason...one being to voice such issues etc...
So just to clarify its most certainly not the case that Quote - "It's become a badge of honour to tell everyone how many messages they haven't read or don't have time to read"...
From time to time I will mention it in relevant forum posts to explain why msgs do go unread & that we have absolutely no control of them being deleted by site system & that it's most certainly not the case that I am being rude. "Apart from the ops first post I haven't read a single contribution to this thread so therefore I've no idea who has contributed and my comments are meant in general terms. I have chatted to women who complain constantly about the number of messages they get. Not the quality but the quantity. I've advised them to use the available filters if it is such an issue but they haven't bothered. There have been numerous threads and posts over the last year where women have been advised by other posters including other women to use filters if they are inundated with mail but a few short weeks later in a different thread they throw up a comment about how they can't cope with the deluge. Therefore it very much is the equivalent of a sky remote. Those comments usually appear when someone says they have 100 unread messages and suddenly a second person says that's nothing I've got 500. I've no doubt the content of a lot of those messages is unacceptable but using the unread message total as a measuring stick for someones fab popularity in comparison to others is happening and it's very obvious. | |||
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"I can understand a woman who had just joined feeling intimidated with a huge number of messages but anyone who has been here a while and has hundreds of unread messages needs that level of validation. Bulk delete the messages and use the available filters to reduce the influx. The unread message saga is the female equivalent of a sky remote and is waved around to show that mines bigger than yours. It's laughable that some people are scared to use filters because they have a fear of missing out and it's become a badge of honour to tell everyone how many messages they haven't read or don't have time to read. There's no point whinging about the quality of said messages if you don't open the vast majority of them. Quote - "The unread message saga is the female equivalent of a sky remote and is waved around to show that mines bigger than yours". ^^^^^^^ Lol...I don't think this is the case at all
It's a known fact some women on here receive vast amount of mail regardless of how long we are on the site.
I also did mention earlier on this thread how many unread mail I had because it was very relevant to the OPs opening mail. I was more or less saying that alot of mail does go unread because it's automatically deleted by site system & some peeps thinks it's the receivers of such mail that are deleting without reading which is very untrue. Hence the uncalled for unprovoked abusive mail may start...
It's defo not the case that Quote - "There's no point whinging about the quality of said messages if you don't open the vast majority of them." It's actually not possible to open all the mail as alot disappears from the page & as I said lots is also automatically deleted by site system I definitely wouldn't call it a case of "whinging" either when it comes to receiving unprovoked with no communication disturbing abusive msgs...
The forums are here for a reason...one being to voice such issues etc...
So just to clarify its most certainly not the case that Quote - "It's become a badge of honour to tell everyone how many messages they haven't read or don't have time to read"...
From time to time I will mention it in relevant forum posts to explain why msgs do go unread & that we have absolutely no control of them being deleted by site system & that it's most certainly not the case that I am being rude.
Apart from the ops first post I haven't read a single contribution to this thread so therefore I've no idea who has contributed and my comments are meant in general terms.
I have chatted to women who complain constantly about the number of messages they get. Not the quality but the quantity. I've advised them to use the available filters if it is such an issue but they haven't bothered.
There have been numerous threads and posts over the last year where women have been advised by other posters including other women to use filters if they are inundated with mail but a few short weeks later in a different thread they throw up a comment about how they can't cope with the deluge.
Therefore it very much is the equivalent of a sky remote.
Those comments usually appear when someone says they have 100 unread messages and suddenly a second person says that's nothing I've got 500.
I've no doubt the content of a lot of those messages is unacceptable but using the unread message total as a measuring stick for someones fab popularity in comparison to others is happening and it's very obvious.
"Oh ok, thanks for explaining in more detail. I didn't realise you were speaking in general terms. So maybe setting filters to full Max for awhile will obviously sort the influx. Jeez it must be head wrecking at times offering good advice when it's not heeded & they return again with the same prob a month later
I much appreciate your reply...Thanks again | |||
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"I have mentioned this idea here before on a different thread and would like some feedback on it, its an idea for the developers of the site to make some slight tweaks to how messaging is done. 1. Free members can message up to 5 times per day. 2. Messages from free members are displayed below registered members in inbox and do not add to notifications. 3. You cannot attach a picture to your first message. 4. The recipient must tick a box "allow media from this user" when replying to allow image/videos to be attached to subsequent messages. 5.In a sub heading from allow media you could specify media type : Face Pics Sexy Pics XXX Pics This mean you can attach a face pic when asked but if they tick yes for face pic and you attach a dick pic instead then this can be reported, reviewed by Admin and incur a 72h message and forum ban? And then 3 strikes and your out. Also a tick Box for Willing to meet or Up for a meet is a nice way of showing interest but by not ticking this box 30 messages into a conversation then the recipient should get the idea, and save the awkwardness. Any ideas? I know it sounds like I am being hard on the non members but chances are if your not paying anything then your just here for the creep and to annoy people or are not too serious about swinging." There a site feedback section on the forums that you’d be better off posting that to | |||
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"I have mentioned this idea here before on a different thread and would like some feedback on it, its an idea for the developers of the site to make some slight tweaks to how messaging is done. 1. Free members can message up to 5 times per day. 2. Messages from free members are displayed below registered members in inbox and do not add to notifications. 3. You cannot attach a picture to your first message. 4. The recipient must tick a box "allow media from this user" when replying to allow image/videos to be attached to subsequent messages. 5.In a sub heading from allow media you could specify media type : Face Pics Sexy Pics XXX Pics This mean you can attach a face pic when asked but if they tick yes for face pic and you attach a dick pic instead then this can be reported, reviewed by Admin and incur a 72h message and forum ban? And then 3 strikes and your out. Also a tick Box for Willing to meet or Up for a meet is a nice way of showing interest but by not ticking this box 30 messages into a conversation then the recipient should get the idea, and save the awkwardness. Any ideas? I know it sounds like I am being hard on the non members but chances are if your not paying anything then your just here for the creep and to annoy people or are not too serious about swinging." Absolutely excellent post. Well thought out and in my opinion worthy of a shot. Would certainly out fakes and trolls. | |||
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"I dont see volume of messages as being particularly off-putting Granted abusive or creeping ones would be but when I was active I'd rather get 100 than 0 messages Would you be excited to have 80 identical "hi", "hi", "How are you?", "good, you?", "not too bad, thanks" conversations though?
Ideally of course not.
Vs zero conversations where I can still pick and chose who I reply to I absolutely would
But how can you pick and choose if they all look the same too?
Identical "fill in later" "ask me anything" profiles with photos of their willies from six different angles or no photos at all?
Honestly I'd still rather 100 shite emails with the chance of 1 decent one than zero because the potential is still there and messages can be filtered out you can't use filters to get them.
But look I'm speaking from a new males perspective so I guess it doesn't compare because if as a couple or women if you got zero messages you would still certainly be able to find some interactions on here easily enough.
You're not reading between the lines though.
There is not a single thing that sets you apart from another 60000 blank profiles with no photos, written profile and no veris.
Why would someone message you?
As someone said before - you get what you put in!
Yes, women and couples get more messages, but when you compare the quality of those messages - men, women and couples are all even here.
Just because men don't get many messages doesn't mean that women or couples get many meets.
I'm not actually speaking for myself. I was speaking in general.
I've been here before with a properly fleshed out profile.
And I'm not talking about getting meets. We were speaking about what initially drives people away from the site.
And my point was no interaction would drive me away quicker than too many.
Read the thread and read my profile I'm not here looking to get meets but thanks for the unasked comments on my profile.
No need to read between the line sometimes if you read the ones that are actually written down"I didn't mean you personally. I meant all people (all people, not just men) who usually complain about lack of messages in their inbox while there is nothing in their own profile. Yes, women and couples might get a bit overwhelmed at times at the start, but as the time goes by and filters are in place - very far and few will have an unmanageable inbox. Be lucky to get 5 messages a day. Be even luckier if one of those messages wasn't "hi" type. And that's when you do have photos, written profile and veris. I can't imagine anyones blank profile receiving much attention past the first week on site. Reason I mentioned meets and not just messages- most people messaging women and couples have no intention to meet them anyway. Maybe if you would have expressed in your profile that you're not interested in meeting (anyone, not me obviously) - you wouldn't be annoyed at me for assuming that you are 
You get out of this what you put into it...
Missus
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"I have mentioned this idea here before on a different thread and would like some feedback on it, its an idea for the developers of the site to make some slight tweaks to how messaging is done. 1. Free members can message up to 5 times per day. 2. Messages from free members are displayed below registered members in inbox and do not add to notifications. 3. You cannot attach a picture to your first message. 4. The recipient must tick a box "allow media from this user" when replying to allow image/videos to be attached to subsequent messages. 5.In a sub heading from allow media you could specify media type : Face Pics Sexy Pics XXX Pics This mean you can attach a face pic when asked but if they tick yes for face pic and you attach a dick pic instead then this can be reported, reviewed by Admin and incur a 72h message and forum ban? And then 3 strikes and your out. Also a tick Box for Willing to meet or Up for a meet is a nice way of showing interest but by not ticking this box 30 messages into a conversation then the recipient should get the idea, and save the awkwardness. Any ideas? I know it sounds like I am being hard on the non members but chances are if your not paying anything then your just here for the creep and to annoy people or are not too serious about swinging." This in my opinion.. is a brilliant idea I especially like the tick box for meet feature genuinely genius | |||
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"I have mentioned this idea here before on a different thread and would like some feedback on it, its an idea for the developers of the site to make some slight tweaks to how messaging is done. 1. Free members can message up to 5 times per day. 2. Messages from free members are displayed below registered members in inbox and do not add to notifications. 3. You cannot attach a picture to your first message. 4. The recipient must tick a box "allow media from this user" when replying to allow image/videos to be attached to subsequent messages. 5.In a sub heading from allow media you could specify media type : Face Pics Sexy Pics XXX Pics This mean you can attach a face pic when asked but if they tick yes for face pic and you attach a dick pic instead then this can be reported, reviewed by Admin and incur a 72h message and forum ban? And then 3 strikes and your out. Also a tick Box for Willing to meet or Up for a meet is a nice way of showing interest but by not ticking this box 30 messages into a conversation then the recipient should get the idea, and save the awkwardness. Any ideas? I know it sounds like I am being hard on the non members but chances are if your not paying anything then your just here for the creep and to annoy people or are not too serious about swinging." Not sure about ticking the meeting box after 30 messages.. its bad enough that people automatically assume that you want to have sex with them if you just reply to their message. Rest of it is spot on though | |||
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". . Maybe if you would have expressed in your profile that you're not interested in meeting (anyone, not me obviously) - you wouldn't be annoyed at me for assuming that you are
""Just here to chat" It's the heading of my profile... Typical fab women not reading profiles again... Tbf the rest of your reply does make sense as well. I really was just pointing out that having too many messages is an easier problem to solve than having none. | |||
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"Lol jokes I still don't but yesterday a good female friend of mine joined fab ( nothing sexual just great mates) she was on for about an hour.. didn't upload a single pic or bio and had like over 100 messages from all over the country in like 20 mins. Like wow! Overwhelmed and a little creeped out by some too she told me. Anyway she deleted . But is definitely made me see the woman's side of fab like guys it's a bit insane.. and I definitely see why sent messages aren't even opened now who has the time #feelingenlighted "why don't you explain the filters on here to your friend explain how to set them all and see if she will rejoin and get to look at the site without being inundated with messages. I have to admit I joined and left at the start within 24 hours because of the influx of messages I rejoined a week or so later and set filters within a hour or so of joining .There are obviously people who message every new woman tho when they join because a lot were the same men who had messaged me previously in those few hours .It might help if filters were set automatically when a new profile joins the they can change them as they want. I keep my filters tight now and I don't get a lot of messages and I rarely get any abuse if I'm honest. And that suits the way I like to run my profile. | |||
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"I have mentioned this idea here before on a different thread and would like some feedback on it, its an idea for the developers of the site to make some slight tweaks to how messaging is done. 1. Free members can message up to 5 times per day. 2. Messages from free members are displayed below registered members in inbox and do not add to notifications. 3. You cannot attach a picture to your first message. 4. The recipient must tick a box "allow media from this user" when replying to allow image/videos to be attached to subsequent messages. 5.In a sub heading from allow media you could specify media type : Face Pics Sexy Pics XXX Pics This mean you can attach a face pic when asked but if they tick yes for face pic and you attach a dick pic instead then this can be reported, reviewed by Admin and incur a 72h message and forum ban? And then 3 strikes and your out. Also a tick Box for Willing to meet or Up for a meet is a nice way of showing interest but by not ticking this box 30 messages into a conversation then the recipient should get the idea, and save the awkwardness. Any ideas? I know it sounds like I am being hard on the non members but chances are if your not paying anything then your just here for the creep and to annoy people or are not too serious about swinging." I actually don't agree with a lot of this and why should non paying members be treated like they are less than you can simply set filters to stop people you don't want messaging you . The 30 message meet thing would not work for me either. I'm an adult if I chat to someone and don't want to meet them or to meet them I can tell them without having a limit of messages before I have to decide when or if I want to meet them. | |||
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"I have mentioned this idea here before on a different thread and would like some feedback on it, its an idea for the developers of the site to make some slight tweaks to how messaging is done. 1. Free members can message up to 5 times per day. 2. Messages from free members are displayed below registered members in inbox and do not add to notifications. 3. You cannot attach a picture to your first message. 4. The recipient must tick a box "allow media from this user" when replying to allow image/videos to be attached to subsequent messages. 5.In a sub heading from allow media you could specify media type : Face Pics Sexy Pics XXX Pics This mean you can attach a face pic when asked but if they tick yes for face pic and you attach a dick pic instead then this can be reported, reviewed by Admin and incur a 72h message and forum ban? And then 3 strikes and your out. Also a tick Box for Willing to meet or Up for a meet is a nice way of showing interest but by not ticking this box 30 messages into a conversation then the recipient should get the idea, and save the awkwardness. Any ideas? I know it sounds like I am being hard on the non members but chances are if your not paying anything then your just here for the creep and to annoy people or are not too serious about swinging." There are quite a few long standing members who aren't photo verified and some who have deliberately allowed their supporters pass to run out became they don't require the added benefits. Are they also time wasters and creeps or would they get special dispensation? One set of rules for everyone on the site no exception and therefore nobody can accuse anyone of bending the rules to suit themselves or finding a loophole by fitting into a different category. People ask where the fun has gone on fab? People don't have time for fun anymore. They're too busy complaining about what's wrong with the site and those who use it rather than simply taking complete control of who you engage with. | |||
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when u think u do it all changes again | |||
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"I think its getting to the stage where a woman's best option is to hide her profile and message/wink at the men/couples/women she's attracted to. Getting 2/300 messages a day is lunacy Yup it's nuts...I was getting 500-800 msgs a day ... Still have 755 unread this min "Make it 756 now | |||
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"The simplest and easiest way is guys and ladies should only be allowed send 5 messages a day and ladies only receive 5 a day..so if guys go to send a message to a lady and she has already received 5 then it tells the guys sending the message and also stops it being sent ...that way the lady dont get swamped with messages and then she can decide who she wants to chat to but again if the guy has received 5 messages she cant message either." I agree with this but you would have to make it fair on both genders so why not make it that there is a limited no of messages that can be sent to new recipients? so you can continue your conversation with whoever you are having a chat with but only try your luck with 5 new ones. | |||
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"The simplest and easiest way is guys and ladies should only be allowed send 5 messages a day and ladies only receive 5 a day..so if guys go to send a message to a lady and she has already received 5 then it tells the guys sending the message and also stops it being sent ...that way the lady dont get swamped with messages and then she can decide who she wants to chat to but again if the guy has received 5 messages she cant message either. I agree with this but you would have to make it fair on both genders so why not make it that there is a limited no of messages that can be sent to new recipients? so you can continue your conversation with whoever you are having a chat with but only try your luck with 5 new ones." If a lady gets 5 messages a day and can send 5 messages a day well thats a total of 10 messages a day that she can work to or on plus she has a choice to send those 5 to guys she's interested in and not receive a load of messages from guys she's not one bit interested in..its not a fool proof method but would certainly reduce the amount of maybe unwanted messages . | |||
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"The simplest and easiest way is guys and ladies should only be allowed send 5 messages a day and ladies only receive 5 a day..so if guys go to send a message to a lady and she has already received 5 then it tells the guys sending the message and also stops it being sent ...that way the lady dont get swamped with messages and then she can decide who she wants to chat to but again if the guy has received 5 messages she cant message either. I agree with this but you would have to make it fair on both genders so why not make it that there is a limited no of messages that can be sent to new recipients? so you can continue your conversation with whoever you are having a chat with but only try your luck with 5 new ones. If a lady gets 5 messages a day and can send 5 messages a day well thats a total of 10 messages a day that she can work to or on plus she has a choice to send those 5 to guys she's interested in and not receive a load of messages from guys she's not one bit interested in..its not a fool proof method but would certainly reduce the amount of maybe unwanted messages ." People can just set filters and if they don't want messages can block all messages. Limiting messages won't work. Plenty people do quizzes on forums okay ask a topic or post a mng and than can only receive 5 messages ? Way I see it no excuse having piles of messages, set filters and bulk delete if you not going to read them. | |||
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"The simplest and easiest way is guys and ladies should only be allowed send 5 messages a day and ladies only receive 5 a day..so if guys go to send a message to a lady and she has already received 5 then it tells the guys sending the message and also stops it being sent ...that way the lady dont get swamped with messages and then she can decide who she wants to chat to but again if the guy has received 5 messages she cant message either. I agree with this but you would have to make it fair on both genders so why not make it that there is a limited no of messages that can be sent to new recipients? so you can continue your conversation with whoever you are having a chat with but only try your luck with 5 new ones." That would make it nigh on impossible to arrange a meet with someone new without it being a huge long protracted process over the course of days and, truthfully, it all sounds incredibly complicated, tedious & convoluted. Personally I think the site has enough tools for one to take control of their own inboxes. Whether people choose to use them or not is another thing. | |||
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"About the 30 messages thing, I didnt mean it was a set amount or anything , I meant that people could have a conversation without the awkwardness of one person presuming just because we have chatted for eg. "30 messages" that it means we are having sex. I see it being a subtle feature of letting both parties know where this is or isn't going. It can be a tick box within the conversation thread that can be ticked at any stage. I know we are grown ups and can speak for ourselves but some people just don't get the hint and others presume that because you reply to them that are guaranteed a ride. Think of it a 'Wink Part 2' "Why not just say you're interested or not Or that you might be at some point in the future. If the other party doesn't get the hint if you say no thanks then just block them? Maybe I'm missing something but is that not super simple? | |||
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"I know it sounds like I am being hard on the non members but chances are if your not paying anything then your just here for the creep and to annoy people or are not too serious about swinging." It sounds like it because I think you are, and a very unfair generalisation I’d say. I think there are many non paying members here who clearly are serious and contribute greatly to the place. Thanks to all the non paying members for your forum contributions etc, but especially for your lovely pictures cause let’s face it, I am just here for the creep and you all make it worth while…..
Oh, and also to annoy people….  | |||
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"The simplest and easiest way is guys and ladies should only be allowed send 5 messages a day and ladies only receive 5 a day..so if guys go to send a message to a lady and she has already received 5 then it tells the guys sending the message and also stops it being sent ...that way the lady dont get swamped with messages and then she can decide who she wants to chat to but again if the guy has received 5 messages she cant message either. I agree with this but you would have to make it fair on both genders so why not make it that there is a limited no of messages that can be sent to new recipients? so you can continue your conversation with whoever you are having a chat with but only try your luck with 5 new ones." This won’t work, what if the first 5 messages were for creeps and I tried to send the 6th? Think of what all the ladies could be missing out on by me not being able to contact them because of the first 5 creeps, there would be riots…. | |||
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"Personally I think the site has enough tools for one to take control of their own inboxes. Whether people choose to use them or not is another thing." This is probably correct, I haven’t actually looked at the message filter that much, I’m thankfully still in the zone of being able to filter them manually, but is there a function or filter to only allow messages from people you’re replied to more than once, the first being not interest be thanks for the message? Or only allow messages from people on your hotlist, or have an allowed to message list me list? | |||
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"Personally I think the site has enough tools for one to take control of their own inboxes. Whether people choose to use them or not is another thing. This is probably correct, I haven’t actually looked at the message filter that much, I’m thankfully still in the zone of being able to filter them manually, but is there a function or filter to only allow messages from people you’re replied to more than once, the first being not interest be thanks for the message? Or only allow messages from people on your hotlist, or have an allowed to message list me list?" No such feature. | |||
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"Personally I think the site has enough tools for one to take control of their own inboxes. Whether people choose to use them or not is another thing. This is probably correct, I haven’t actually looked at the message filter that much, I’m thankfully still in the zone of being able to filter them manually, but is there a function or filter to only allow messages from people you’re replied to more than once, the first being not interest be thanks for the message? Or only allow messages from people on your hotlist, or have an allowed to message list me list? No such feature." No but there are plenty of other filters including not allowing non paying members to message as this seemed to be an issue for people. But there seems to be quite a few on here who would rather moan about messages they get or set more rules for everyone else just to suit how they want their fab experience to be rather than set their filters and actually go and look for profiles that might interest them and write a first message. | |||
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"It should be a pay only site . Like it’s very cheap as it is . Give us men a better chance of a message being read , make it easier on women and get rid of the messers " Why plenty of people who are genuine don't pay. I didn't for the first while I was on here and when it comes to messages I receive I don't even look to see it they are a paying member or not. And like my previous post said if someone doesn't want someone who isn't a paying member to message there is a filter for that. What makes me reply is someone's profile and message content they are the only things that influence my decision to reply or not. | |||
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"It should be a pay only site . Like it’s very cheap as it is . Give us men a better chance of a message being read , make it easier on women and get rid of the messers Why plenty of people who are genuine don't pay. I didn't for the first while I was on here and when it comes to messages I receive I don't even look to see it they are a paying member or not. And like my previous post said if someone doesn't want someone who isn't a paying member to message there is a filter for that. What makes me reply is someone's profile and message content they are the only things that influence my decision to reply or not." That’s fair enough comment and I would recommend that all ladies on here so this just saying like
I haven’t e mailed you yet but before I do I would have to make sure my chat up lines are in top form my typing skills and grammar are excellent and most importantly, you move the 52 year old upper limit up a teenchy weenchy little bit | |||
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"It should be a pay only site . Like it’s very cheap as it is . Give us men a better chance of a message being read , make it easier on women and get rid of the messers Why plenty of people who are genuine don't pay. I didn't for the first while I was on here and when it comes to messages I receive I don't even look to see it they are a paying member or not. And like my previous post said if someone doesn't want someone who isn't a paying member to message there is a filter for that. What makes me reply is someone's profile and message content they are the only things that influence my decision to reply or not. That’s fair enough comment and I would recommend that all ladies on here so this just saying like
I haven’t e mailed you yet but before I do I would have to make sure my chat up lines are in top form my typing skills and grammar are excellent and most importantly, you move the 52 year old upper limit up a teenchy weenchy little bit "And sometimes creepy forum come ons are worse than single line messages | |||
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I have very tight filters.
If you are seeking for attention, you get what you asking for
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"Personally I think the site has enough tools for one to take control of their own inboxes. Whether people choose to use them or not is another thing. This is probably correct, I haven’t actually looked at the message filter that much, I’m thankfully still in the zone of being able to filter them manually, but is there a function or filter to only allow messages from people you’re replied to more than once, the first being not interest be thanks for the message? Or only allow messages from people on your hotlist, or have an allowed to message list me list? No such feature. No but there are plenty of other filters including not allowing non paying members to message as this seemed to be an issue for people. But there seems to be quite a few on here who would rather moan about messages they get or set more rules for everyone else just to suit how they want their fab experience to be rather than set their filters and actually go and look for profiles that might interest them and write a first message. " Bingo | |||
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"Personally I think the site has enough tools for one to take control of their own inboxes. Whether people choose to use them or not is another thing. This is probably correct, I haven’t actually looked at the message filter that much, I’m thankfully still in the zone of being able to filter them manually, but is there a function or filter to only allow messages from people you’re replied to more than once, the first being not interest be thanks for the message? Or only allow messages from people on your hotlist, or have an allowed to message list me list? No such feature. No but there are plenty of other filters including not allowing non paying members to message as this seemed to be an issue for people. But there seems to be quite a few on here who would rather moan about messages they get or set more rules for everyone else just to suit how they want their fab experience to be rather than set their filters and actually go and look for profiles that might interest them and write a first message. Bingo "It's obvious that those who receive messages in the 100s enjoy the attention, they've no intention to set filters, it's like receiving fan mail, the higher the amount the bigger the fab star. And now and then you get the chance to boast about it on the forum. | |||
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"It should be a pay only site . Like it’s very cheap as it is . Give us men a better chance of a message being read , make it easier on women and get rid of the messers Why plenty of people who are genuine don't pay. I didn't for the first while I was on here and when it comes to messages I receive I don't even look to see it they are a paying member or not. And like my previous post said if someone doesn't want someone who isn't a paying member to message there is a filter for that. What makes me reply is someone's profile and message content they are the only things that influence my decision to reply or not. That’s fair enough comment and I would recommend that all ladies on here so this just saying like
I haven’t e mailed you yet but before I do I would have to make sure my chat up lines are in top form my typing skills and grammar are excellent and most importantly, you move the 52 year old upper limit up a teenchy weenchy little bit
And sometimes creepy forum come ons are worse than single line messages "Put a pic on your profile before you call other people creepy ! | |||
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"Personally I think the site has enough tools for one to take control of their own inboxes. Whether people choose to use them or not is another thing. This is probably correct, I haven’t actually looked at the message filter that much, I’m thankfully still in the zone of being able to filter them manually, but is there a function or filter to only allow messages from people you’re replied to more than once, the first being not interest be thanks for the message? Or only allow messages from people on your hotlist, or have an allowed to message list me list? No such feature. No but there are plenty of other filters including not allowing non paying members to message as this seemed to be an issue for people. But there seems to be quite a few on here who would rather moan about messages they get or set more rules for everyone else just to suit how they want their fab experience to be rather than set their filters and actually go and look for profiles that might interest them and write a first message. Bingo
It's obvious that those who receive messages in the 100s enjoy the attention, they've no intention to set filters, it's like receiving fan mail, the higher the amount the bigger the fab star. And now and then you get the chance to boast about it on the forum. "Just when I was beginning to think it was a figment of my imagination | |||
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"A friend of mine joined 2 weeks ago, in 2 days she had 327 messages, a male friend joined on Monday he’s had 5(all men), lol it’s crazy Hence males blocked... I used to have 10 to 20 a day lol.. I have always said I'd hate to be a woman on a swing site cause the amount of emails they get, then the amount of nasty emails for not replying or saying no thanks. " I used to try and reply to as many as I could and out of all the “no thanks” I’d say 2/3 are abusive replies | |||
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