FabSwingers.com forum: Irish Insults

By *ensualandslow321 OP Man
over a year ago

Tullamore

One of my favourites is

If I'd a dog with a face like yours, I'd shave his arse and teach him to walk backwards

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By *eggmothoin75Man
over a year ago

close to you

You've a face like a bulldog licking piss of a nettle

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By *hilaboutMan
over a year ago

kilkenny

The cat can look at the king why cant I look at a monkey

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By *uriousVoyeurMan
over a year ago

Northside

You look like you fell out of the ugly tree and smacked your face off every branch on the way down!

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By *uriousVoyeurMan
over a year ago

Northside

If your IQ was any lower you'd trip over it!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t get up on you to get over you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The higher up a tree a monkey goes, the more of his arse you can see.

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By *ayla and the AdmiralCouple
over a year ago

monaghan

If work was on the bed, you would lie on the floor.

If they were a chocolate bar they would eat themselves

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Wild mountain thyme

Far and Away

Mary Reilly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wild mountain thyme

Far and Away

Mary Reilly

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"Wild mountain thyme

Far and Away

Mary Reilly

Confession....I actually like Far and Away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

True story..... was in a pub one evening and this woman came in looking for some guy who wasn’t there. There was two guys sitting just down from me at the counter. One says to the other “would ya give her one”? The other guy replied “well, if I had a box of cocks I wouldn’t give her one”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they were a chocolate bar they would eat themselves

Like this one and use it a lot, it was one of my grandmother's....she was Scottish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“I wouldn’t ride her even if she had pedals”

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By *ensualandslow321 OP Man
over a year ago

Tullamore

May the hairs on your arse turn to drumsticks and bate the shite outa ya

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By *arajeanCouple
over a year ago

mayo

You have a face that would stop a clock.

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth

You'd chance farting if you had the skitters

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By *ildmovementMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Jeasus you could plough with her.

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By *oxtrotTangoLoveMan
over a year ago

monkstown/kentstown

Your useless as an ashtray on a motorbike!

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By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
over a year ago

City Centre, Dublin, Belfast

They’re so tight, they’d peel an orange in their pocket

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By *eggmothoin75Man
over a year ago

close to you

Goes up to girl "would you like to dance"

Girl:"not with you dickhead"

Me:"i didnt ask for a dance, I said your arse looks big in those pants"

Thats why im in A&E

????????????

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By *cottybear74Man
over a year ago

kilkenny

You couldn't pick her/him up if they came with handles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't ride him/her Into battle.

Mother Theresa wouldn't kiss that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Head on ya like a busted wellie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't ride ya into battle

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By *ome_wild_girlWoman
over a year ago

Antrim Town

Want to tell your face you're happy? Said to someone with a face like a slapped arse that is apparently happy.

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By *ablo57Man
over a year ago

Tipperary/Limerick

[Removed by poster at 29/06/21 18:08:48]

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By *ablo57Man
over a year ago

Tipperary/Limerick

You're mother should have swallowed

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By *ouple VCouple
over a year ago

South East

He or She has a face like a bag of chisels

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

Aren't these all just insult though? Is there anything Irish about any of them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Aren't these all just insult though? Is there anything Irish about any of them? "

Being from Cavan I've heard a pile that I'm sure are strictly Irish:

That lad still has his communion money,

Would peel an orange in his pocket...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He would get up on himself if he could turn fast enough

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"Aren't these all just insult though? Is there anything Irish about any of them?

Being from Cavan I've heard a pile that I'm sure are strictly Irish:

That lad still has his communion money,

Would peel an orange in his pocket..."

Jaysus, being from Cavan you'll want us to pay you to tell us them. ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She has a face like a melted Wellington

She'd ate an apple through a letterbox with them teeth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Aren't these all just insult though? Is there anything Irish about any of them?

Being from Cavan I've heard a pile that I'm sure are strictly Irish:

That lad still has his communion money,

Would peel an orange in his pocket...

Jaysus, being from Cavan you'll want us to pay you to tell us them. ??"

The poor fella from Cavan, someone broke into his house and shit in his stew....Poor fella had to throw half of it away

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By *oeysanMan
over a year ago

Leinster

You've a head like a melted Welly.

I wouldn't ride you into battle

The tide wouldn't take you out.

Yerra go away and deep throat a cactus.

Your a pitching wedge, good from 40 yards.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"Aren't these all just insult though? Is there anything Irish about any of them?

Being from Cavan I've heard a pile that I'm sure are strictly Irish:

That lad still has his communion money,

Would peel an orange in his pocket...

Jaysus, being from Cavan you'll want us to pay you to tell us them. ??

The poor fella from Cavan, someone broke into his house and shit in his stew....Poor fella had to throw half of it away"

His neighbour dropped in one day and found him stripping the wallpaper. "Are you redecorating John?" says he.

"No" says John, "I'm moving"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've a face like a bucket of smashed crabs!

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By *oeysanMan
over a year ago

Leinster

It's like riding a wizards sleeve!

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By *rianSthDubMan
over a year ago

dun laoghaire

You're as welcome as a fart in a space suit...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man to woman - sex with you is like throwing a sausage up Patrick Street

Woman to man with erection problem - it’s like you’re trying to play pool with a rope

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By *herieWoman
over a year ago

The Burbs

Face like a bag of hammers

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

A sniper wouldnt take him/her out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yer mammy put shutters on your pram you were such an ugly baby.

They had to tie a bone around your neck so the dog would play with ya

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That fella is so cute if he feel out the window its up he'd go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Man to woman - sex with you is like throwing a sausage up Patrick Street

Woman to man with erection problem - it’s like you’re trying to play pool with a rope

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