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Great sex & compatibility

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Great sex does not equal lifetime compatibility.

So the sex is great , best sex of your life, but you realise now you are no longer compatible, that initial lustful spark is gone.

Based on sex & lust( confused as love) you got married, but what to do now?

1-Stick it out, until death.

2-Get a divorce?

3-Have an open relationship?

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

You're going to stray, one way or another; if you can remain on good terms and negotiate an open relationship, try that option.

Swinging together might revitalise that lustful spark; it would be interesting to watch each other perform with others.

If you realise you made a mistake, and you can no longer tolerate each other divorce is inevitable, both emotionally and physically.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Good sex isn't enough to make a relationship last if you aren't compatible. You both deserve better. Its time to have a talk. Be honest. Explain how you feel and give her a safe space to explain how she feels. I believe there is more than 1 person for everyone. I suspect it's time for you to both to begin looking for a person who has a better compatibility levels. Good luck!

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By *ensualnFunCouple
over a year ago

Midlands


"Good sex isn't enough to make a relationship last if you aren't compatible. You both deserve better. Its time to have a talk. Be honest. Explain how you feel and give her a safe space to explain how she feels. I believe there is more than 1 person for everyone. I suspect it's time for you to both to begin looking for a person who has a better compatibility levels. Good luck!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a divorce

Wasted way too much of my life on an arsehole 25 years in fact . I’m of the opinion now that if it ain’t working don’t bother trying to fix it just start again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the partner.. Open relationship doesn't suit every couple and might even makje things worse.

Sticking it out is a waste of life for both of you so really depending on weather the open relationship thing is a runner or not, divorce is probably best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good sex isn't enough to make a relationship last if you aren't compatible. You both deserve better. Its time to have a talk. Be honest. Explain how you feel and give her a safe space to explain how she feels. I believe there is more than 1 person for everyone. I suspect it's time for you to both to begin looking for a person who has a better compatibility levels. Good luck!"

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"Depends on the partner.. Open relationship doesn't suit every couple and might even makje things worse.

Sticking it out is a waste of life for both of you so really depending on weather the open relationship thing is a runner or not, divorce is probably best. "

Open relationships are for people with fantastic functioning stable relationships. They will break a couple who aren't solid enough to begin with. Definition not a good option in OP's situation.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

*definitely

Damn autocorrect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worst thing is "sticking it out"

A marriage with not contentment is miserable - I know !!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Great sex does not equal lifetime compatibility.

So the sex is great , best sex of your life, but you realise now you are no longer compatible, that initial lustful spark is gone.

Based on sex & lust( confused as love) you got married, but what to do now?

1-Stick it out, until death.

2-Get a divorce?

3-Have an open relationship?

"

I omitted to include in the post that I am 10 yrs seperated,( from a near sexless marriage of 24 yrs)

but the topic of Sex & Compatibility came up in a conversation I I though it was an I terestingvtopic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Depends on the partner.. Open relationship doesn't suit every couple and might even makje things worse.

Sticking it out is a waste of life for both of you so really depending on weather the open relationship thing is a runner or not, divorce is probably best.

Open relationships are for people with fantastic functioning stable relationships. They will break a couple who aren't solid enough to begin with. Definition not a good option in OP's situation."

I've said it in threads before that open relationships depend on total trust between 2 people. It can for sure destroy relationships, when jealousy sets it. Its definitely not for everyone but saying that if it works it is a beautiful relationship. It has made my marriage and life great.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"Depends on the partner.. Open relationship doesn't suit every couple and might even makje things worse.

Sticking it out is a waste of life for both of you so really depending on weather the open relationship thing is a runner or not, divorce is probably best.

Open relationships are for people with fantastic functioning stable relationships. They will break a couple who aren't solid enough to begin with. Definition not a good option in OP's situation.

I've said it in threads before that open relationships depend on total trust between 2 people. It can for sure destroy relationships, when jealousy sets it. Its definitely not for everyone but saying that if it works it is a beautiful relationship. It has made my marriage and life great."

You're a lucky guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Depends on the partner.. Open relationship doesn't suit every couple and might even makje things worse.

Sticking it out is a waste of life for both of you so really depending on weather the open relationship thing is a runner or not, divorce is probably best.

Open relationships are for people with fantastic functioning stable relationships. They will break a couple who aren't solid enough to begin with. Definition not a good option in OP's situation.

I've said it in threads before that open relationships depend on total trust between 2 people. It can for sure destroy relationships, when jealousy sets it. Its definitely not for everyone but saying that if it works it is a beautiful relationship. It has made my marriage and life great.

You're a lucky guy "

I know it.. thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Depends on the partner.. Open relationship doesn't suit every couple and might even makje things worse.

Sticking it out is a waste of life for both of you so really depending on weather the open relationship thing is a runner or not, divorce is probably best.

Open relationships are for people with fantastic functioning stable relationships. They will break a couple who aren't solid enough to begin with. Definition not a good option in OP's situation.

I've said it in threads before that open relationships depend on total trust between 2 people. It can for sure destroy relationships, when jealousy sets it. Its definitely not for everyone but saying that if it works it is a beautiful relationship. It has made my marriage and life great.

You're a lucky guy

I know it.. thank you "

If you can understand that if you give freedom and trust to someone and receive it likewise, they see you in a different, more accepting, loving way. It is then people can enjoy themselves sexually with other people without the need to cheat.

We are attracted to different people during our lives, its natural to do so. We are sexual beings. Just my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Great sex does not equal lifetime compatibility.

So the sex is great , best sex of your life, but you realise now you are no longer compatible, that initial lustful spark is gone.

Based on sex & lust( confused as love) you got married, but what to do now?

1-Stick it out, until death.

2-Get a divorce?

3-Have an open relationship?

"

Divorce I believe is the responsible thing to do. Any other choice becomes unfair on one or the other, and probably both in the long run.

In this situation, my divorce brought she and I closer together and gave us a greater understanding of each other. But the comparability had gone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely will depend on the partner but if yer partner isn't consumed with toxicity then an open relationship could be very healthy indeed. Honesty respect and unselfish love the best way, if both have the right intentions then it could work out brilliantly else set ye's both free from one another in a positive next step in yer journeys with no malice in the aftermath

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"Great sex does not equal lifetime compatibility.

So the sex is great , best sex of your life, but you realise now you are no longer compatible, that initial lustful spark is gone.

Based on sex & lust( confused as love) you got married, but what to do now?

1-Stick it out, until death.

2-Get a divorce?

3-Have an open relationship?

Divorce I believe is the responsible thing to do. Any other choice becomes unfair on one or the other, and probably both in the long run.

In this situation, my divorce brought she and I closer together and gave us a greater understanding of each other. But the comparability had gone."

Same. Me and my exwife have a very good relationship now after few rocky years. We've both moved on to new relationships but coparent and things are good.

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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago

north and south


"Great sex does not equal lifetime compatibility.

So the sex is great , best sex of your life, but you realise now you are no longer compatible, that initial lustful spark is gone.

Based on sex & lust( confused as love) you got married, but what to do now?

1-Stick it out, until death.

2-Get a divorce?

3-Have an open relationship?

Divorce I believe is the responsible thing to do. Any other choice becomes unfair on one or the other, and probably both in the long run.

In this situation, my divorce brought she and I closer together and gave us a greater understanding of each other. But the comparability had gone.

Same. Me and my exwife have a very good relationship now after few rocky years. We've both moved on to new relationships but coparent and things are good."
My ex is the most wonderful lady , friend fun laughs, But was and his still not bothered about sex , But had all the other ingredients for great relationship , Some people are just more sexual but as friends they are not , variety needed

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By *ildmovementMan
over a year ago

Dublin


"Great sex does not equal lifetime compatibility.

So the sex is great , best sex of your life, but you realise now you are no longer compatible, that initial lustful spark is gone.

Based on sex & lust( confused as love) you got married, but what to do now?

1-Stick it out, until death.

2-Get a divorce?

3-Have an open relationship?

"

Does she own a gun?

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By *dfabMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne


"Great sex does not equal lifetime compatibility.

So the sex is great , best sex of your life, but you realise now you are no longer compatible, that initial lustful spark is gone.

Based on sex & lust( confused as love) you got married, but what to do now?

1-Stick it out, until death.

2-Get a divorce?

3-Have an open relationship?

Divorce I believe is the responsible thing to do. Any other choice becomes unfair on one or the other, and probably both in the long run.

In this situation, my divorce brought she and I closer together and gave us a greater understanding of each other. But the comparability had gone.

Same. Me and my exwife have a very good relationship now after few rocky years. We've both moved on to new relationships but coparent and things are good.My ex is the most wonderful lady , friend fun laughs, But was and his still not bothered about sex , But had all the other ingredients for great relationship , Some people are just more sexual but as friends they are not , variety needed "

I'm in this boat

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