FabSwingers.com forum: Your Best/Worst Dad Joke

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So what is your Best/Worst Dad Joke

Example

Why Did the Mexican Kick his Wife of the Bridge

TEQUUIILLLAAAA

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This guy went to the doctor with a lettuce stuck up his bum.

He asked the doctor how bad it is.

Doctor said that it is just the tip of the iceberg.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had an unexpected delivery turn up at home today, 2700 bananas.

Tonight we eat like kongs.

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By *parklySassWoman
over a year ago

Sassville

"This guy went to the doctor with a lettuce stuck up his bum.

He asked the doctor how bad it is.

Doctor said that it is just the tip of the iceberg."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which Bears love the rain.

Drizzly Bears!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't always tell Dad jokes.

But when I do, he laughs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recently put up an electric fence around my home.

My neighbours are dead against it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Have ya seen the new movie "Constipated" yet?

Oh Shit sorry it hasn't came out yet

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By *rakesterlingMan
over a year ago

Dublin

I made a belt out of clocks one time, Timmy...

It was a waist of time...

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

Went to the seafood disco last night... pulled a mussel

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By *heeky_BudgieMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Which Bears love the rain.

Drizzly Bears!! "

Drizzle. That’s Snoop Dogg’s favourite type of weather.

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By *heeky_BudgieMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I was up all night wondering what happened to the sun, then suddenly it dawned on me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a donkey with 3 legs.... A wonky

A donkey with 3 legs and missing 1 eye.... A winky wonky

A donkey with 3 legs, 1 eye who likes listening to Elvis... A honky tonky , winky wonky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffer from terrible acrophobia,, but you wont hear me shouting about it from the rooftops.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got fired as my job as a clown today.

The boss said my balloon animal making skills weren't up to scratch.

Well fuck him, the kids loved their eels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 flies in a car how do u know which is the male ???

The one on the horn !!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone got a cure for my bad sex addiction.... Ive tried fuken everything...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Dad went to the Doctor about his hearing...the Doctor asked him to describe the symptoms...to which he replied "well, they all have yellow skin, Homer's a baldy bastard and Marge has blue hair..."

I thank you ....

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

"My Dad went to the Doctor about his hearing...the Doctor asked him to describe the symptoms...to which he replied "well, they all have yellow skin, Homer's a baldy bastard and Marge has blue hair..."

I thank you ....

Haha brilliant

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By *rnoldZiffelMan
over a year ago

Leinster

I've been told that I am addicted to drinking brake fluid but it's not true.... I can stop any time I want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met an old woman staring at the ATM.. She asked me to check her balance... So I pushed her over..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to a Swingers fancy dress party once, dressed only in my Calvin Kleins. Host stopped me at the door and asked what my outfit was.."Oh, it's my representation of premature ejaculation...I've just cum in my pants" (sound of door slamming closed)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A police officer called the station on his radio.

"I need back up here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."

"Have you arrested the woman?"

"Not yet. The floor's still wet."

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By *orders CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Kelso

I hate living with my parents. They've been dead 14 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where did Naploean keep his armies?

Up his sleevies

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By *orders CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Kelso

I can't get to sleep because of the noise of the couple above having sex.

I hate being on the bottom bunk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The invisible man married the invisible woman... Their kids were nothing to look at

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One did one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Robin, get in the bat mobile"

(take your time..)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do you call a donkey with 3 legs.... A wonky

A donkey with 3 legs and missing 1 eye.... A winky wonky

A donkey with 3 legs, 1 eye who likes listening to Elvis... A honky tonky , winky wonky. "

Similar one

What you call Male Deer with no eyes? -- No Idea

What you call Male Deer with No eyes and no legs? -- Still no Idea

What you call Male Deer with no Eyes , No Legs and No Penis --- Still No Fucking Idea

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By *heeky_BudgieMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"I went to a Swingers fancy dress party once, dressed only in my Calvin Kleins. Host stopped me at the door and asked what my outfit was.."Oh, it's my representation of premature ejaculation...I've just cum in my pants" (sound of door slamming closed)

I went to a fancy dress party with nothing on except a welly covering my genitals.

When asked what I’d come as, I said “I was just fuckin’ aboot”.

(Best read and told in a Scottish accent)

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By *orders CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Kelso

I went to a fancy dress party with nothing on except a welly covering my genitals.

When asked what I’d come as, I said “I was just fuckin’ aboot”.

(Best read and told in a Scottish accent)"

Or a Geordie accent ??

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

What do you call ghost titties?

Boo-bies!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

DUNG!

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By *exydoctorsCouple
over a year ago

Galway/Clare

I met a man in the shop yesterday who reminded me of Michael Jackson.

He said..."Don't forget Michael Jackson"

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By *ueenbeetipp43Woman
over a year ago

my own world

I bought a dog from a blacksmith once. As soon as I got it home, it made a bolt for the door

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I met a man in the shop yesterday who reminded me of Michael Jackson.

He said..."Don't forget Michael Jackson""

I love this one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman with one leg?...... Eileen

A woman with no legs?.....Noeleen

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I went to a fancy dress party with nothing on except a welly covering my genitals.

When asked what I’d come as, I said “I was just fuckin’ aboot”.

(Best read and told in a Scottish accent)"

Auch aye the noo.... very good lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear about the Kerry Man who thought that an ITCHY FANNY was a Japanese motor bike..... Q the abuse from kerry people. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw someone robbing my garden gate yesterday. I didn't say anything in case he took offence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you ever hear the joke about German sausages?

It’s the würst.

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

What's a pair of identical breasts called?

Identitties

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"What's a pair of identical breasts called?

Identitties

Lollys

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By *onedbodMan
over a year ago

co Galway

What's forrest Gumps password?.. 1forrest1

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Got stop at by Hot Gardai lady tonight....

Thought I had pulled when Said to her " Your one hot lady BTW " and she gave me wink and pulled out pen and notepad

Went downhill very quickly when I said

" and that's not the drink talking "

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes....

So she gave me a hug

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A young girl sees her dad's cock as he walked into the kitchen for the 1st time and said what's that dad x dad was embarrassed and didn't know what to say and said that's my wee birdy and the wee girl says it's got some pair of balls on it lol

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City

Mammy I’m hungry!

Hey hungry I’m Mammy!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/04/21 12:24:51]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/04/21 12:26:33]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but i turned myself around...and that's what it's all about!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Last week I entered a blindfold masturbation competition

F**K knows where I came

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's brown and sticky??

A stick

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but i turned myself around...and that's what it's all about! "

Worth waiting for it in fairness

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Watching Countdown today with Rachel Riley on it....

I got Aroused

Thought a 7 letter word was a great result for me, who was useless at School

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Watching Countdown today with Rachel Riley on it....

I got Aroused

Thought a 7 letter word was a great result for me, who was useless at School "

My erection beats your aroused though and Suzy Dent congratulated me on it being an 8

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recently walked in to the local convent and took home one of the residents.

No fence, nun taken.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Watching Countdown today with Rachel Riley on it....

I got Aroused

Thought a 7 letter word was a great result for me, who was useless at School

My erection beats your aroused though and Suzy Dent congratulated me on it being an 8

Well my Taxations beats your Erection think I got the points not sure as Jimmy Carr gave me a look like I had just shafted him up the arse.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"Watching Countdown today with Rachel Riley on it....

I got Aroused

Thought a 7 letter word was a great result for me, who was useless at School

My erection beats your aroused though and Suzy Dent congratulated me on it being an 8

Well my Taxations beats your Erection think I got the points not sure as Jimmy Carr gave me a look like I had just shafted him up the arse.

He always looks like that since the botox

Did he laugh

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