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"This is a really fucking stressful holiday lads " Holiday...I'm an essential worker and it's the only hotel open near the site I'm on ....jaysus I'm locking my door tonight | |||
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"I think I'll bring the biker gang down to the bar and let them bump and grind down here while I go and check that JB has gone to bed.....just need to find my earplugs to drown out the snoring Excellent idea. Thank you for the break | |||
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"I couldn't close my eyes for a second. Staying put in the bar where there are others around, at least more than just 4 of us! Can never be too safe eh " The bar is the place to be... and bottle service too! I’m liking the service up in the Madison. Hope you don’t mind a little bit more company.... | |||
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"(Ring) (Ring) why won't the receptionist pick up!.." No receptionist at the post since she was murdered and I was given this motel. I haven't had time to restaff and I am unsure anybody would want to work here at the moment so as well as being the nightly entertainment I am also receptionist,what can I help you with Sir? | |||
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"This is a really fucking stressful holiday lads Holiday...I'm an essential worker and it's the only hotel open near the site I'm on ....jaysus I'm locking my door tonight " Well Mr BogM Im having two bottles of whiskey, platter of cheese, olives, and grapes Only if you dont afraid to sleep in one big bed with me You can stay overnight | |||
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"I think I'll bring the biker gang down to the bar and let them bump and grind down here while I go and check that JB has gone to bed.....just need to find my earplugs to drown out the snoring Oh after an evening of entertaining them I can see why you are so glad of the break from them. At least they are buying us all the drink tonight | |||
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"This is a really fucking stressful holiday lads Holiday...I'm an essential worker and it's the only hotel open near the site I'm on ....jaysus I'm locking my door tonight Well Mr BogM Im having two bottles of whiskey, platter of cheese, olives, and grapes Only if you dont afraid to sleep in one big bed with me You can stay overnight I've naked twister | |||
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"I couldn't close my eyes for a second. Staying put in the bar where there are others around, at least more than just 4 of us! Can never be too safe eh The bar is the place to be... and bottle service too! I’m liking the service up in the Madison. Hope you don’t mind a little bit more company.... " More the merrier...what are you drinking? | |||
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"(Ring) (Ring) why won't the receptionist pick up!.. No receptionist at the post since she was murdered and I was given this motel. I haven't had time to restaff and I am unsure anybody would want to work here at the moment so as well as being the nightly entertainment I am also receptionist,what can I help you with Sir?" ..this is Agent K im in room 666 im going to need a member of staff cum to my room straight away theres a lady standing on the headboard of the bed threatening to jump out the window ,wait I think it looks like miss Dd | |||
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"This is a really fucking stressful holiday lads Holiday...I'm an essential worker and it's the only hotel open near the site I'm on ....jaysus I'm locking my door tonight Well Mr BogM Im having two bottles of whiskey, platter of cheese, olives, and grapes Only if you dont afraid to sleep in one big bed with me You can stay overnight You’ve got yourself a proper party room there Anya | |||
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"I think I'll bring the biker gang down to the bar and let them bump and grind down here while I go and check that JB has gone to bed.....just need to find my earplugs to drown out the snoring Now it's a party | |||
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"(Ring) (Ring) why won't the receptionist pick up!.. No receptionist at the post since she was murdered and I was given this motel. I haven't had time to restaff and I am unsure anybody would want to work here at the moment so as well as being the nightly entertainment I am also receptionist,what can I help you with Sir? ..this is Agent K im in room 666 im going to need a member of staff cum to my room straight away theres a lady standing on the headboard of the bed threatening to jump out the window ,wait I think it looks like miss Dd" Is she asking for cake? good god man give the lady some cake!! That will usually entice her down | |||
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"(Ring) (Ring) why won't the receptionist pick up!.. No receptionist at the post since she was murdered and I was given this motel. I haven't had time to restaff and I am unsure anybody would want to work here at the moment so as well as being the nightly entertainment I am also receptionist,what can I help you with Sir? ..this is Agent K im in room 666 im going to need a member of staff cum to my room straight away theres a lady standing on the headboard of the bed threatening to jump out the window ,wait I think it looks like miss Dd" What in earth are you doing in our room?!! This is night 2 of Cherry’s dominatrix photo shoot. If you want to stick around, you can man the door. This place is dangerous. Remind me not to take a staycation ever again. | |||
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"Did someone mention cake Yes sweetie,I have a lovely chocolate fudge cake for you,just please come down from the headboard | |||
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"(Ring) (Ring) why won't the receptionist pick up!.. No receptionist at the post since she was murdered and I was given this motel. I haven't had time to restaff and I am unsure anybody would want to work here at the moment so as well as being the nightly entertainment I am also receptionist,what can I help you with Sir? ..this is Agent K im in room 666 im going to need a member of staff cum to my room straight away theres a lady standing on the headboard of the bed threatening to jump out the window ,wait I think it looks like miss Dd Is she asking for cake? good god man give the lady some cake!! That will usually entice her down Cake | |||
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"(Ring) (Ring) why won't the receptionist pick up!.. No receptionist at the post since she was murdered and I was given this motel. I haven't had time to restaff and I am unsure anybody would want to work here at the moment so as well as being the nightly entertainment I am also receptionist,what can I help you with Sir? ..this is Agent K im in room 666 im going to need a member of staff cum to my room straight away theres a lady standing on the headboard of the bed threatening to jump out the window ,wait I think it looks like miss Dd Is she asking for cake? good god man give the lady some cake!! That will usually entice her down No it always ends better with cake | |||
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"This is a really fucking stressful holiday lads Holiday...I'm an essential worker and it's the only hotel open near the site I'm on ....jaysus I'm locking my door tonight Well Mr BogM Im having two bottles of whiskey, platter of cheese, olives, and grapes Only if you dont afraid to sleep in one big bed with me You can stay overnight Should be fun especially if baby oil is spilt on the mat first | |||
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"(Ring) (Ring) why won't the receptionist pick up!.. No receptionist at the post since she was murdered and I was given this motel. I haven't had time to restaff and I am unsure anybody would want to work here at the moment so as well as being the nightly entertainment I am also receptionist,what can I help you with Sir? ..this is Agent K im in room 666 im going to need a member of staff cum to my room straight away theres a lady standing on the headboard of the bed threatening to jump out the window ,wait I think it looks like miss Dd Is she asking for cake? good god man give the lady some cake!! That will usually entice her down Oh trying to kill off guests are we Agent | |||
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"Did someone mention cake Mmmm chocolate | |||
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"(Ring) (Ring) why won't the receptionist pick up!.. No receptionist at the post since she was murdered and I was given this motel. I haven't had time to restaff and I am unsure anybody would want to work here at the moment so as well as being the nightly entertainment I am also receptionist,what can I help you with Sir? ..this is Agent K im in room 666 im going to need a member of staff cum to my room straight away theres a lady standing on the headboard of the bed threatening to jump out the window ,wait I think it looks like miss Dd Is she asking for cake? good god man give the lady some cake!! That will usually entice her down Oh really ( make mental note 3 killers in the hotel) | |||
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"(Ring) (Ring) why won't the receptionist pick up!.. No receptionist at the post since she was murdered and I was given this motel. I haven't had time to restaff and I am unsure anybody would want to work here at the moment so as well as being the nightly entertainment I am also receptionist,what can I help you with Sir? ..this is Agent K im in room 666 im going to need a member of staff cum to my room straight away theres a lady standing on the headboard of the bed threatening to jump out the window ,wait I think it looks like miss Dd Is she asking for cake? good god man give the lady some cake!! That will usually entice her down No I just arrived and she was in a terrible state ,someone mentioned cake but I think its too late. | |||
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"Did someone mention cake Cake is a kind of pastry right? | |||
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"Did someone mention cake Uh oh.... Don’t mention the P word! | |||
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"Did someone mention cake Oi you, this is the residents bar! Unless you are here to do repairs? | |||
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"Did someone mention cake I've seen his tool belt it's impressive | |||
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"Did someone mention cake | |||
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"Did someone mention cake You should see what he can do with his pinkie | |||
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"Mornin all my fellow residents. Ye are a filthy shower, the noise comin out of some of the rooms was brutal. Ya would think ye were killin each other with all the screaming. Suppose a bit of room service is outta the question. Fancy breakfast in bed." That could me. Laid a everygreen in the bog during the night. Anyone know how to unblock toilets ??? | |||
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"Oh jesus.. What was I drinking last night.... I told you not to drink all those homemade cocktails but they didn't stop you mounting me you know for full security at and all | |||
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"This is a really fucking stressful holiday lads Holiday...I'm an essential worker and it's the only hotel open near the site I'm on ....jaysus I'm locking my door tonight Well Mr BogM Im having two bottles of whiskey, platter of cheese, olives, and grapes Only if you dont afraid to sleep in one big bed with me You can stay overnight Im always well organized | |||
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"This is a really fucking stressful holiday lads Holiday...I'm an essential worker and it's the only hotel open near the site I'm on ....jaysus I'm locking my door tonight Well Mr BogM Im having two bottles of whiskey, platter of cheese, olives, and grapes Only if you dont afraid to sleep in one big bed with me You can stay overnight For me sounds great | |||
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"A tall handsome dark haired man walks into the bar. He is dressed in a crisp white T-shirt, faded jeans and a pair of trainers. He is the sort of man who immediately catches your eye, he oozed sex appeal. There wasn't a dry gusset in the room. Standing in his way is the defective detective, "and who might you be" stammers Keyser Shameless looks directly at Keyser and whispers softly "Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know?, Oh pretty baby, I shouldn't have let you go" Keyser blushes furiously and looks away. Now that he has the attention of everyone in the room Shameless begins to talk. I awoke this morning in my room. My red leather look jump suit had been ripped from me and at first I thought my cock had been lacerated. Thankfully it turned out to be just a heavy coating of deep red lipstick. There was a note beside the bed which read "I can never thank you enough" Yesterday......I can remember Keyser jumping through the window, a hideous scream ...and then I must have blacked out... As far as I know I was in the bar for most of the night, slipping in and out of consciousness, I have hazy recollections of some of the comings and goings. I don't know how I ended up in my room or with whom. There is something seriously amiss in this Hotel, there is clearly at least one killer amongst us, and the powers that be clearly spend more time fingering the innocent than they do the guilty. Something has to be done before we lose another.... I think we should take a moment to remember our fallen friends..... Shameless reaches into his pocket and taking out a Kazoo starts to play Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl He turns and winks at s1ren who reaching into her pocket and taking out a comb and a piece of tissue paper, fashions herself an instrument on the fly and joins in Keyser smiles and gently tapping his foot begins to sing, quietly at first.... "This was never the way I planned Not my intention I got so brave, drink in hand Lost my discretion It's not what I'm used to (used to) Just wanna try you on I'm curious for you (for you) Caught my attention" Looking over at Bog M, Keyser winks, Bog M blushes furiously and looks away At this point the whole room joins in an as they sing together, for a moment, and just for a moment their troubles are forgotten "I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry chapstick I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it It felt so wrong, it felt so right Don't mean I'm in love tonight I kissed a girl and I liked it I liked it" "Right" says Shameless "I'm going to grab a coffee, then I'm off to my room to see if I can make any sense of last night. If anyone knows of anything that might help, You know where to find me"" Who's Keyser? | |||
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"Help I don't know if I've pulled a muscle or I'm hungover. Who's idea was it to do body shots while playing twister naked " Sounds like a plan you would come up with | |||
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"Today's a good day for Police work Go check on the Presidential suite... The window should be open | |||
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"Today's a good day for Police work Book him | |||
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"Help I don't know if I've pulled a muscle or I'm hungover. Who's idea was it to do body shots while playing twister naked Sounds like a plan you would come up with Who me? Never | |||
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"And who the hell is Keyser? For the last time, no! KT will not have sex with you | |||
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"Today's a good day for Police work Ain't you brown bread boi | |||
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"This police investigation has stagnated, caught up in hearsay and circumstance as opposed to facts! The resident known as Cherry will brought downtown for interrogation. There's a police perimeter around the grounds - No one can leave Ohhh will you bring your handcuffs and baton officer? | |||
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"This police investigation has stagnated, caught up in hearsay and circumstance as opposed to facts! The resident known as Cherry will brought downtown for interrogation. There's a police perimeter around the grounds - No one can leave Book 'er | |||
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"Is it any wonder KT cant solve this case. He is doing more riding than Lester Piggitt and Pat Eddery did in their entire careers Police work has it's ups and downs | |||
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"Today's a good day for Police work Totally - Am just a voice in your head. (You need all the help you can get) Good luck | |||
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"And who the hell is Keyser? The best place to hide...Is in plain sight.... And who the hell is Keyser? You ask No other than Keyser Soze He is a notorious criminal mastermind who poses as a "detective" and engineers a complicated scheme to kill a man who could identify him to the police. So criminally insane that he couldn't be arsed to change his name, just the spelling!!! There will be a screening of "The Usual Suspects" in my room at 10.30am Although the film will have little relevance to the murders here it will help pass the time and help me convince everyone of "Mr Thunderpants" guilt. For the duration of the film the room will be in darkness, please try to behave yourself people | |||
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"And who the hell is Keyser? Will there be popcorn and ice cream | |||
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" Oh my goodness! What’s happening in this godforsaken place? Aka Agent K was manning the door in our room while we slept. Maybe he can explain the situation. | |||
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"And who the hell is Keyser? Lay off the solvents | |||
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"This is a really fucking stressful holiday lads Holiday...I'm an essential worker and it's the only hotel open near the site I'm on ....jaysus I'm locking my door tonight Well Mr BogM Im having two bottles of whiskey, platter of cheese, olives, and grapes Only if you dont afraid to sleep in one big bed with me You can stay overnight As she arrives on time Suited in leathers,heels and a truncheon Always on the lóòkout see who fits this crime | |||
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"Today's a good day for Police work Em shouldn't that be body bag him! He died after a fall out of the window of room 666. | |||
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"Oh jesus.. What was I drinking last night.... Pmsl | |||
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"And who the hell is Keyser? DT Kaizer, I think you need a big bucket of the ice on your head! I did not mention sex at all! Phi with a policeman! | |||
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"This is a really fucking stressful holiday lads Holiday...I'm an essential worker and it's the only hotel open near the site I'm on ....jaysus I'm locking my door tonight Well Mr BogM Im having two bottles of whiskey, platter of cheese, olives, and grapes Only if you dont afraid to sleep in one big bed with me You can stay overnight Agent, you'd better manage your own business. And what have you done last night on the corridor, huh? | |||
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"Did Shameless whack S1ren in more ways than one last night Morning Miss B...you left them by the pool with your naughty girl panties | |||
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"Damn I needed that power nap it's time to pull my big girl pants on and try figure out who is killing all our guests...I have my suspicions to who it may be and if the boss would stop his womanising ways (very questionable lady last night) we may be able to work it out. It would appear I'm the only cop actually investigating At least you’re wearing pants today | |||
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"Did Shameless whack S1ren in more ways than one last night why thank you i'm used to having to pull moves in this police department. | |||
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"Damn I needed that power nap it's time to pull my big girl pants on and try figure out who is killing all our guests...I have my suspicions to who it may be and if the boss would stop his womanising ways (very questionable lady last night) we may be able to work it out. It would appear I'm the only cop actually investigating Well very true but im having to work today.....not play | |||
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"Did Shameless whack S1ren in more ways than one last night Well the leather clad lads loved your bossy side | |||
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"Today's a good day for Police work Book her | |||
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"Today's a good day for Police work What! On what grounds DT? Are you just hand cuffing me for your own pleasure again! | |||
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"Today's a good day for Police work Less talking ma'am | |||
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"Time for a big fry up Am I too late for breakfast? Anything else I could eat? Creme eggs and monster | |||
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" you can however discuss publicly who you think is up to no good | |||
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"Today's a good day for Police work You are going to have to gag me if you want me to stop | |||
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"Did Shameless whack S1ren in more ways than one last night Over there by my shoes Whats this i see the perpetrator has left a note | |||
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"Did Shameless whack S1ren in more ways than one last night One potato, two potato, 3 potato, 4... What is wrong with this killer (s) We are dealing with some twisted individuals | |||
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"Time for a big fry up Am I too late for breakfast? Anything else I could eat? Do you survive on creme eggs and monster alone?!? | |||
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"Is it any wonder KT cant solve this case. He is doing more riding than Lester Piggitt and Pat Eddery did in their entire careers Well how about you join our little police team and see if you can do better | |||
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"Today's a good day for Police work Starts snorkeling snot deeper into his nostrils, she automatically starts to gag | |||
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"Dublingirl never appears to be found until after a death has occurred to process the crime Looks like you’re doing all the work 3B Come up to my room and put your feet up Preferably naked With creme eggs and monster | |||
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"Dublingirl never appears to be found until after a death has occurred to process the crime Oh im on my way you know I run so well on them....non stop talking lol | |||
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"Dublingirl never appears to be found until after a death has occurred to process the crime The 3 litres of male ejaculate never made it to the precinct either | |||
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" I would suggest in order to be unscrupulous, the individuals in question would need scruples to begin with.... Last I recall was asking for a bottle of my Canadian Club....bowl of limes and a ginger ale... That was in the bar, and MadameB was kicking off what looked it would’ve been on helluva party.... This hotel is murderous in many ways.... gives the overlook a run for its money... All play and No work makes Jack a tired boy | |||
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"3 killers! Wow, that's alot of ejaculate So you have to ask... how are these assassins collecting that much... serious milking operation going on... next thing they’ll be forming a co-op to improve production. | |||
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"3 killers! Wow, that's alot of ejaculate There is alot of hot ass babes in the Madison | |||
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"3 killers! Wow, that's alot of ejaculate It’s like a premier inn after a social m&g | |||
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"Today's a good day for Police work | |||
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"Dublingirl never appears to be found until after a death has occurred to process the crime Tis thirsty work this detecting methinks. | |||
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" Thought I mounted you on the pool table and pocketed you like a pro | |||
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"May I suggest that all the residents still alive should get together and share rooms maybe 2 x ladies and 1 man or 2x lads and 1 woman. This will cut down on the chance of bring killed by those 3 lunatics whoever they are.This of course would be in the interest of safety and Im sure a smidgeon of carnal satisfaction. Your math is slightly off | |||
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"May I suggest that all the residents still alive should get together and share rooms maybe 2 x ladies and 1 man or 2x lads and 1 woman. This will cut down on the chance of bring killed by those 3 lunatics whoever they are.This of course would be in the interest of safety and Im sure a smidgeon of carnal satisfaction. That’s fine until you land in a room with 2 murderers | |||
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"May I suggest that all the residents still alive should get together and share rooms maybe 2 x ladies and 1 man or 2x lads and 1 woman. This will cut down on the chance of bring killed by those 3 lunatics whoever they are.This of course would be in the interest of safety and Im sure a smidgeon of carnal satisfaction. In the nicest possible way ,I hope | |||
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"May I suggest that all the residents still alive should get together and share rooms maybe 2 x ladies and 1 man or 2x lads and 1 woman. This will cut down on the chance of bring killed by those 3 lunatics whoever they are.This of course would be in the interest of safety and Im sure a smidgeon of carnal satisfaction. Doh | |||
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"May I suggest that all the residents still alive should get together and share rooms maybe 2 x ladies and 1 man or 2x lads and 1 woman. This will cut down on the chance of bring killed by those 3 lunatics whoever they are.This of course would be in the interest of safety and Im sure a smidgeon of carnal satisfaction. Nope. Either we all end up in a room with a murderer or the 3 team up | |||
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"Suspect number 1 Cherry Did you get your qualification in a lucky bag I was in a room full of people all night | |||
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"May I suggest that all the residents still alive should get together and share rooms maybe 2 x ladies and 1 man or 2x lads and 1 woman. This will cut down on the chance of bring killed by those 3 lunatics whoever they are.This of course would be in the interest of safety and Im sure a smidgeon of carnal satisfaction. Ahh feck it shur I may as well join ya madam if ya dont mind.Barkeep get me a large Tia maria and lucozade sil vous plate and whatever Madam is having. | |||
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"I never did get you to put your feet up 3B, come on over and put them up on this bar table Oh why thank you kind Sir | |||
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"I never did get you to put your feet up 3B, come on over and put them up on this bar table I think I should frisk you just in case you’re carrying any weapons that could be used to kill me | |||
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"I never did get you to put your feet up 3B, come on over and put them up on this bar table Frisk away | |||
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"I never did get you to put your feet up 3B, come on over and put them up on this bar table Ok spread ‘em | |||
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"Bar's open.. Nearly finished work ...back in the Bates motel soon | |||
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"Bar's open.. I'll have a snake bite ready for ya. | |||
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"Bar's open.. Bout time... I’ve been sitting pretending to work long enough... time for a nice beer buzz in the afternoon to kick off some Holy (sh1t it’s) Thursday shenanigans. And here I thought I was playing pocket pool by myself last night and listening to the killers on the jukebox.... it’s all a blur.... a huge relief to have MadameB confirm I was mounted and not mounted and stuffed... | |||
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"Pint of Tequilla rose please mr barman." Drinking on the job already | |||
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"He’s just like Britney Murdering everything she touches Hey folks what's been happening. I've spent the afternoon like any other red blooded male. Lying on the couch, hand down my jocks, watching St Trinians films and snorkeling snot Don't suppose there has been anymore deaths??? BelfastD, I might have ditched my Britney costumes for the time being but your still on dangerous ground with statements like that. If anyone seriously believes that I may be one off the killers, meet me around the back of the bins in half an hour and Ill set you straight on who the killers really are. "cough" Madame B "cough" | |||
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"Pint of Tequilla rose please mr barman. Drinking on the job already It would be damn rude not to madam, care for a qick one?? | |||
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"Pint of Tequilla rose please mr barman. Drinking on the job already Always room for more drink | |||
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"Wow this place is getting worse by the hours... Poor JonhFK, I was hoping to have a drink with him later. Anyway. Detective Kaiser you might need some advice from the hot detective Helen Mirren in primal suspect to solve these crimes. I'm hoping to have some hot fun before the killers come after me. I think one of the killers is a woman. And Shameless is my next guess. He really acts like he could murder someone and walk away in a Britney style with no remorse" I agree. He’d just shrug and say Ooops, I Did It Again. Also, he told S1ren yesterday that he’d give her a good whacking in the bar last night. Hmmm. | |||
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"Pint of Tequilla rose please mr barman." Pint eh.. Bit of a Marine are we? | |||
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"Easy, its good too see you Mocktail.. Cafe au lait.. Plain ole tae? Charmed to see you as always | |||
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"Pint of Tequilla rose please mr barman. Pint eh.. Bit of a Marine are we? Just the way I roll son | |||
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"Easy, its good too see you Something refreshing please | |||
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"Easy, its good too see you Is there any other cream that may help | |||
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"Easy, its good too see you Packs Aloe Vera for our day on the nude beach | |||
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" Any non alcoholic cocktails would be great. I need aloe vera gel for my burned skin. I have been too long outside today Packs Aloe Vera for our day on the nude beach " With that mankini... appears very beach you visit will be bare pretty quickly | |||
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"Bar's open.. Two words that never get old | |||
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" | |||
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"Bar's open.. Absolutely | |||
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" Any non alcoholic cocktails would be great. I need aloe vera gel for my burned skin. I have been too long outside today Packs Aloe Vera for our day on the nude beach With that mankini... appears very beach you visit will be bare pretty quickly Your mocktail is ready... Aloe in the fridge chilling.. Free application service here for that too | |||
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"Bar's open.. Bars Absolutly Open.!!!! 3 words that never get old | |||
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"Bar's open.. Absolute bar absolutely open | |||
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"Bar's open.. 4 words that will never get old...lol ill absolutely meet you there in 5 | |||
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"Barman I need more drink this is very thirsty work trying to figure out who are the killers that walk between us. I plan on a night of drink and wildness is that not every night | |||
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"Good evening Evening Gorgeous....would you like a drink | |||
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"Barman I need more drink this is very thirsty work trying to figure out who are the killers that walk between us. I plan on a night of drink and wildness Shall I open a tab young lady? | |||
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"Barman I need more drink this is very thirsty work trying to figure out who are the killers that walk between us. I plan on a night of drink and wildness I'm having a night of work and staking out the bar | |||
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"Good evening Ohh tequila please straight up no salt or lemon | |||
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"Barman I need more drink this is very thirsty work trying to figure out who are the killers that walk between us. I plan on a night of drink and wildness Put it on K.T's its official business | |||
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"Barman I need more drink this is very thirsty work trying to figure out who are the killers that walk between us. I plan on a night of drink and wildness That hure owes from last night... And the night before... The man has hollow legs | |||
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"Good evening Barman a bottle of your finest teguila and 2 glasses please | |||
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"Good evening 2 fingers of poitin with a dash of Irn Bru please | |||
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"Good evening May I see some ID | |||
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"Pint of Absinthe for me Easy Want a head on that? | |||
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"Good evening I left it in my room do you want to see it there | |||
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"Pint of Absinthe for me Easy Is that green fairy liquid for the washing up... | |||
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"Good evening Someone cover me.. I'll be back in the morning | |||
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