FabSwingers.com forum: messers

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

does any1 else notice there a lot of messers and timewasters on here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"does any1 else notice there a lot of messers and timewasters on here?"

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

theyre everywhere.

you just wouldnt know whare de be

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

the thing that gets me is ur chatting away to them and then when u mention a meet they're gone! What they on here for if they dnt want to medmt

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"the thing that gets me is ur chatting away to them and then when u mention a meet they're gone! What they on here for if they dnt want to medmt"

maybe they jsut think you are being pushy.

why not wait for them to mention having a meet instead?

doesnt mean they are messers, just dont want to rush into things.

lay the groundworks and the house will be solid, unless you want it to all come tumbling down lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But you also have the messers who agree to meet and then never show and their phone is switched off - complete evening gone to loss.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"But you also have the messers who agree to meet and then never show and their phone is switched off - complete evening gone to loss."

now thats a messer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My place is really messy and needs a good tidy up. Does that make me a messer?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"does any1 else notice there a lot of messers and timewasters on here?"

timewaster? what is this timewaster you speak of

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

nah that just makes u untidy! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funny I have a theory (totally unscientific of course) that the more a profile gives off about messers and timewasters the more likely they are to be just that. I see a new member for instance barely in the door. No pics whatever demanding that any email sent to them must have a face pic attached on pain of death.

Now whatever about the merits of face pics (after all google images has about 400 million face pics to choose from download and post as your very own), it is such a turn off to have someone burst through the membership door screaming demands, as if it was some Bank heist that was going on (especially when its them wearing the stocking on their head) !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we,ve all come across 1 or 2 on here just move on and block them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/07/12 17:30:04]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/07/12 17:35:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends how you define messers / time wasters.

For example those terms are more commonly and inaccurately used acrimoniously to describe others who've rebuffed the accusing members advances and as a result is usually just the war cry of their bruised ego.

others seem to arrive here with an exception that every member they wink/mail is a sure thing and those who don't conform to that again are messers/ time wasters.

if members had realistic exceptions of what to expect here many of these passive aggressive time waster mud slinging threads could be avoided.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends how you define messers / time wasters.

others seem to arrive here with an exception that every member they wink/mail is a sure thing and those who don't conform to that again are messers/ time wasters.

if members had realistic exceptions of what to expect here many of these passive aggressive time waster mud slinging threads could be avoided."

whose mud slinging ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends how you define messers / time wasters.

others seem to arrive here with an exception that every member they wink/mail is a sure thing and those who don't conform to that again are messers/ time wasters.

if members had realistic exceptions of what to expect here many of these passive aggressive time waster mud slinging threads could be avoided.

whose mud slinging ?"

no one atm but have noticed these threads usually descend into venues for that type of exchange.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends how you define messers / time wasters.

others seem to arrive here with an exception that every member they wink/mail is a sure thing and those who don't conform to that again are messers/ time wasters.

if members had realistic exceptions of what to expect here many of these passive aggressive time waster mud slinging threads could be avoided.

whose mud slinging ?

no one atm but have noticed these threads usually descend into venues for that type of exchange."

all very civilised at moment though and just maybe its posts like this that starts the mud slinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/07/12 17:55:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nah people are responsible for what they post using another post to abdicate personal responsibility is kind of lame.

anyhoo added personal 2cents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"nah people are responsible for what they post using another post to abdicate personal responsibility is kind of lame.

anyhoo added personal 2cents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Funny I have a theory (totally unscientific of course) that the more a profile gives off about messers and timewasters the more likely they are to be just that. I see a new member for instance barely in the door. No pics whatever demanding that any email sent to them must have a face pic attached on pain of death.

Oddly enough the new person who joined and demanded that time wasters and other scoundrels stay away and wanted a face pic ? Deleted their profile later . So he she or indeed it is gone with the photos of a few naive persons daft enough to send one "with their first email "

I dunno about you but a person who first up wants a face pic before so much as a howya is a teeny tiny bit in the shallow side .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

http://www.fabswingers.com/profile/aandm1

Ignore this profile.. it's a fake, some guy acting the bollox, had to find that out the hard way, thank Christ I didn't have to drive too far, but anyone else.. avoid this sham.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sham you now get banned for naming and shaming

Always best to alert your friends via private means and not on a forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yep, you should report them instead and you can always tell your friends in private emails about them.

But to be honest, this profile is just 11 hours old!! And you already arranged a meet and got stood up? You need to do your checks first. You should ask them to go on cam - both of them!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interestingly the profile complained of fits perfectly in with my theory warning that they don't want Messers or time wasters . Maybe my theory will win the Nobel prize for something or other !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yep, you should report them instead and you can always tell your friends in private emails about them.

But to be honest, this profile is just 11 hours old!! And you already arranged a meet and got stood up? You need to do your checks first. You should ask them to go on cam - both of them!! "

Indeed, you are completely right, I should have done those things, but as I always take people at their word because I myself don't mess anyone around. If I arrange to meet, I turn up, I treat people with respect, I expect the same in return. So lesson learned, no more arrangements with unverified profiles, that said, everyone has to start somewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yep, you should report them instead and you can always tell your friends in private emails about them.

But to be honest, this profile is just 11 hours old!! And you already arranged a meet and got stood up? You need to do your checks first. You should ask them to go on cam - both of them!!

I've been there! But don't mind the verifications they most of the time don't mean a thing... have been messed around by them too. Just do the cam and phone thing and you're quite likely in for a winner. Even better to meet for a coffee/drink only first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Verifications are usually a good aid when checking on the genuity of a prospective meet.

Personally I don't go by Phone or Cam verifications as they're usually just happy to sit behind a veiled screen IE a computer, and not actually meet.

But besides verifications, it's a good thing to check on how long a profile has been active.

Even a profile that has been a member for over a year, but with no verifications kind of rings alarm bells for me.

Apart from all that, it's still all good fun!

Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i agree, a social meet 1st for coffee and then if it don't work out no harm done and if it does then happy days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think the verifications idea is a winner at all, I mean I could verify that particular profile as being a messer, and the person behind the profile can choose to not display at but it still comes up on their page as a verification, even if it's a bad one, yes, so lesson learned and as I said before at least it wasn't too far for me but they could just as easy do this to someone else who may have travelled a good distance for the meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would you verify a bad meet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

more like a comment than a verification but that option isn't available

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But that would be pointless,

Since they would be in receipt of the 'coveted' green tick! Lol

And for what? So you can make a comment?

Lol.

Ooooookay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A variation on this. If the messer already has a green tick, then the verification can work very well.

The messers and gobshites will happily block you once they got their jollies off by organising a meet or just messing you about.

I have done a "verification" for a member who already has a green tick telling thm exactly what they did and giving a full and frank opinion of what I think of them.

Like a piece of chewing gum on the bottom of their shoe, that verification sticks and lingers for evermore on their own verification page. They of course dont post it, but they get to look at it each time they look at their verifications.

Petty I know but judging by the screaming vicious emails I got from the person I did it to, effective !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

once you block someone or they block you, your verification no longer shows on your list... even the hidden one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"once you block someone or they block you, your verification no longer shows on your list... even the hidden one. "

I concur BB!!

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By *timulationMan
over a year ago

sexerotica

i see the couple mentioned above have now got a green tick!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i see the couple mentioned above have now got a green tick!!!!!!"

Lol,

Did someone verify them with a nasty comment!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jaysus I got my ass busted for three days for even hinting at criticism of a member . Tis not fair entirely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive never understood people putting "no timewasters" on their profile. surely if someone wants to waste your time youre not going to realise until its already been wasted?

does anyone class themselves as a timewaster?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/08/12 06:17:04]

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By *ourneCplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

theres a fine line on here between timewsters and messers and plain pushy couples/singles who seem to think swinging is a 24/7 commitment.

We are genuinely into the swinging lifestyle but in the past [and recently] we've had to cancel meets on a few occasions [because we have "real lives" and commitments outside of the lifestyle].

With some folk on here, woh betide you if you dare to cancel or cant drop everything to suit them !!!!We have been branded timewasters/messers by some because real life steps in at awkward/not suitable times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"theres a fine line on here between timewsters and messers and plain pushy couples/singles who seem to think swinging is a 24/7 commitment.

We are genuinely into the swinging lifestyle but in the past [and recently] we've had to cancel meets on a few occasions [because we have "real lives" and commitments outside of the lifestyle].

I totally agree!

We all have our own lives to live 'on the outside'.

I don't get it why some people won't accept this.

I myself have a commitments and nothing (certainly not from here) will interfere with that.

So if some shallow people were to brand me with that title, it wouldn't really bother me. My life is far more important than theirs.

There are far more people here who are worthwhile than those who are worthless!

Onwards and upwards!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"theres a fine line on here between timewsters and messers and plain pushy couples/singles who seem to think swinging is a 24/7 commitment.

We are genuinely into the swinging lifestyle but in the past [and recently] we've had to cancel meets on a few occasions [because we have "real lives" and commitments outside of the lifestyle].

Life happens! As long as meets are cancelled as soon as possible in order to inconvenience the others as little as possible. The ones who are cancelled on have a life too lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh look what a surpise. Theres that word again timewaster and shockingly being used in the wrong way yet again. To the op whats a timewaster to you?

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

must say, we have let a couple down a few hours before a meet (cancelled mid afternoon on the day) but thats because we went to a party once, and i wasnt feeling 100%, and i just sat in a corner and didnt talk to anyone, because i really didnt want to be there.

so why force ourselves to turn up for a meet when either party isnt feeling great, or their mind is somewhere else.

makes for a shit time, and you wont have any interest in repeating the experience, so would rather cancel than give someone a shit time.

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