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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just seen this as a thread in UK... it got me thinking.. is Ireland too conservative for this lifestyle.. ?

I know the usual jokes will apply one wife or husband is bad enough.. and all that..

I include boyfriends/girlfriends who are not necessarily live in... would you contemplate it..? Not just FBs more emotional connection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, it would simply be an emotionally (and practically) exhausting conflict of interests. I can be quite fond of a guy I'm having sex with but I love Lee and will always prioritise him. And any hint of over-attachment from a third party and I lose my ladyhorn instantly

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"For me, it would simply be an emotionally (and practically) exhausting conflict of interests. I can be quite fond of a guy I'm having sex with but I love Lee and will always prioritise him. And any hint of over-attachment from a third party and I lose my ladyhorn instantly"

Clingys not your thing.. I hear you Casey..lol

I would struggle to see an Irish couple going along with it if I’m honest.. small country and all..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just seen this as a thread in UK... it got me thinking.. is Ireland too conservative for this lifestyle.. ?

I know the usual jokes will apply one wife or husband is bad enough.. and all that..

I include boyfriends/girlfriends who are not necessarily live in... would you contemplate it..? Not just FBs more emotional connection "

It has gotten a lot more popular here in the last 5 or so years. Know a few people who are poly and manage to make it work. More power to them. The reaction to them revealing it to people has been very up and down but on the whole has been accepted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just seen this as a thread in UK... it got me thinking.. is Ireland too conservative for this lifestyle.. ?

I know the usual jokes will apply one wife or husband is bad enough.. and all that..

I include boyfriends/girlfriends who are not necessarily live in... would you contemplate it..? Not just FBs more emotional connection

It has gotten a lot more popular here in the last 5 or so years. Know a few people who are poly and manage to make it work. More power to them. The reaction to them revealing it to people has been very up and down but on the whole has been accepted "

Yes. I heard it is getting more popular. I just don't think society agrees with it.. People are a lot more open to relationships these days but i don't think a lot would approve, probably make jokes about it.. 'can't afford one, not mind a few'

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just seen this as a thread in UK... it got me thinking.. is Ireland too conservative for this lifestyle.. ?

I know the usual jokes will apply one wife or husband is bad enough.. and all that..

I include boyfriends/girlfriends who are not necessarily live in... would you contemplate it..? Not just FBs more emotional connection

It has gotten a lot more popular here in the last 5 or so years. Know a few people who are poly and manage to make it work. More power to them. The reaction to them revealing it to people has been very up and down but on the whole has been accepted "

Well that’s interesting... and I wouldn’t be a judger either...it’s more power to them exactly...

I wouldn’t expect anyone to be that public with anything that goes on at home.. nobody’s business really.. but fair play for revealing it

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I don't know how well it would work. I would think after a while peoples feelings, emotions and most likely jealousy would get in the way of it all. It's not something I'd be interested in it anyhow but fair play to those that do it and make it work.

As for Ireland being too convervative maybe it is but I'm sure anyone living that lifestyle would be talked about no matter where they lived. Pretty much the same as swinging it would be local gossip if most peoples neighbours found out.

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By *oisyoctopusWoman
over a year ago

Drogheda

I've been in a few polyam situations over the years, though usually not living with any of my partners. I'm not naturally inclined towards monogamy but I _am_ inclined towards open, honest discussion of emotions and not messing around with anyone's heart or mind.

It can be a logistical challenge, takes a lot of work on all parts, but in my experience it's absolutely not a thing that Ireland is too conservative for. I mean, my first polyam situation was back in the last century when dinosaurs roamed the earth and not an eyelid was batted then! Or if it was I didn't give a damn what other people thought about my life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't know how well it would work. I would think after a while peoples feelings, emotions and most likely jealousy would get in the way of it all. It's not something I'd be interested in it anyhow but fair play to those that do it and make it work.

As for Ireland being too convervative maybe it is but I'm sure anyone living that lifestyle would be talked about no matter where they lived. Pretty much the same as swinging it would be local gossip if most peoples neighbours found out. "

Agreed Bo... thought that it’s going to be in-house job literally... and I wouldn’t expect anyone to be public the same as swinging...but I’m curious about the not live ins also...

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By *irtypair00Couple
over a year ago

Dublin

Love the idea of it but not sure how it would work or the practicalities of it . But the topic of it has cum up and we've talked about having another lady join us . But with kids (cockblockers) and very narrow minded family not sure right now

Mr dirty xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've been in a few polyam situations over the years, though usually not living with any of my partners. I'm not naturally inclined towards monogamy but I _am_ inclined towards open, honest discussion of emotions and not messing around with anyone's heart or mind.

It can be a logistical challenge, takes a lot of work on all parts, but in my experience it's absolutely not a thing that Ireland is too conservative for. I mean, my first polyam situation was back in the last century when dinosaurs roamed the earth and not an eyelid was batted then! Or if it was I didn't give a damn what other people thought about my life."

Lol... it’s cool to think that your exploring this... can only read situations about poly and couples having boyfriend/girlfriends... it definitely seems to be something I see crop up increasingly and not just for sex

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By *oisyoctopusWoman
over a year ago

Drogheda


"

Lol... it’s cool to think that your exploring this... can only read situations about poly and couples having boyfriend/girlfriends... it definitely seems to be something I see crop up increasingly and not just for sex "

It's entirely different to swinging, and I treat as such, so absolutely not just for sex. The amory part in polyamory is the thing for me! Not one for labelling relationships, but anyone I'm in a relationship with knows about anyone else I'm seeing, or knows about who I'm just bonking, and anyone I'm just bonking knows about any relationships I might be in. It's only polite, after all.

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick


"I don't know how well it would work. I would think after a while peoples feelings, emotions and most likely jealousy would get in the way of it all. It's not something I'd be interested in it anyhow but fair play to those that do it and make it work.

As for Ireland being too convervative maybe it is but I'm sure anyone living that lifestyle would be talked about no matter where they lived. Pretty much the same as swinging it would be local gossip if most peoples neighbours found out.

Agreed Bo... thought that it’s going to be in-house job literally... and I wouldn’t expect anyone to be public the same as swinging...but I’m curious about the not live ins also... "

'In-house job' I laughed at that

Agree 100% with Bo. Socially acceptable or not, I couldn't see it working in the long run, emotions are a fragile thing

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't know how well it would work. I would think after a while peoples feelings, emotions and most likely jealousy would get in the way of it all. It's not something I'd be interested in it anyhow but fair play to those that do it and make it work.

As for Ireland being too convervative maybe it is but I'm sure anyone living that lifestyle would be talked about no matter where they lived. Pretty much the same as swinging it would be local gossip if most peoples neighbours found out.

Agreed Bo... thought that it’s going to be in-house job literally... and I wouldn’t expect anyone to be public the same as swinging...but I’m curious about the not live ins also...

'In-house job' I laughed at that

Agree 100% with Bo. Socially acceptable or not, I couldn't see it working in the long run, emotions are a fragile thing "

Couldn’t resist... lol

Emotions is the reason why I’m curious I guess.. such a tricky thing to add to a couples relationship... a third wheel can be tricky to accommodate

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

Could never see it being an equal partnership, way too complex

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By *oisyoctopusWoman
over a year ago

Drogheda


"I don't know how well it would work. I would think after a while peoples feelings, emotions and most likely jealousy would get in the way of it all. It's not something I'd be interested in it anyhow but fair play to those that do it and make it work.

As for Ireland being too convervative maybe it is but I'm sure anyone living that lifestyle would be talked about no matter where they lived. Pretty much the same as swinging it would be local gossip if most peoples neighbours found out.

Agreed Bo... thought that it’s going to be in-house job literally... and I wouldn’t expect anyone to be public the same as swinging...but I’m curious about the not live ins also...

'In-house job' I laughed at that

Agree 100% with Bo. Socially acceptable or not, I couldn't see it working in the long run, emotions are a fragile thing

Couldn’t resist... lol

Emotions is the reason why I’m curious I guess.. such a tricky thing to add to a couples relationship... a third wheel can be tricky to accommodate "

Not all situations are "mfcouple seeks third, preferably woman". Some of us actively avoid unicorn hunters. (That goes for fab, too...)

It takes a strong element of self-awareness and honesty. Excellent communication and planning skills are necessary.

Example, I was living with one man who wasn't interested in a relationship with anyone but me, seeing two others, flirting with a couple of women, bonking a few random men occasionally on a no strings basis. Every last one of them knew about the others, none of them were a challenge or a threat to my live-in relationship or to each other, there was never a suggestion of three+somes as each arrangement was separate and boundaries are important. Most of these people are still in my life, though the relationships have evolved since.

It's not rocket surgery! It's honest, open communication. And lots of calendars. It's also not for everyone, nor would I expect it to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like or not Ireland is a Catholic state. We have all had parents, grandparents, other family members in our lives that are steeped in Catholic traditions.

It's going to be a significant period of time before the general mindset in Ireland catches up with the UK

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't know how well it would work. I would think after a while peoples feelings, emotions and most likely jealousy would get in the way of it all. It's not something I'd be interested in it anyhow but fair play to those that do it and make it work.

As for Ireland being too convervative maybe it is but I'm sure anyone living that lifestyle would be talked about no matter where they lived. Pretty much the same as swinging it would be local gossip if most peoples neighbours found out.

Agreed Bo... thought that it’s going to be in-house job literally... and I wouldn’t expect anyone to be public the same as swinging...but I’m curious about the not live ins also...

'In-house job' I laughed at that

Agree 100% with Bo. Socially acceptable or not, I couldn't see it working in the long run, emotions are a fragile thing

Couldn’t resist... lol

Emotions is the reason why I’m curious I guess.. such a tricky thing to add to a couples relationship... a third wheel can be tricky to accommodate

Not all situations are "mfcouple seeks third, preferably woman". Some of us actively avoid unicorn hunters. (That goes for fab, too...)

It takes a strong element of self-awareness and honesty. Excellent communication and planning skills are necessary.

Example, I was living with one man who wasn't interested in a relationship with anyone but me, seeing two others, flirting with a couple of women, bonking a few random men occasionally on a no strings basis. Every last one of them knew about the others, none of them were a challenge or a threat to my live-in relationship or to each other, there was never a suggestion of three+somes as each arrangement was separate and boundaries are important. Most of these people are still in my life, though the relationships have evolved since.

It's not rocket surgery! It's honest, open communication. And lots of calendars. It's also not for everyone, nor would I expect it to be. "

Thanks for your honest input octo... the rocket surgery made me laugh... I think that kind of surgery would be very dicey indeed.. lol

Respect...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Like or not Ireland is a Catholic state. We have all had parents, grandparents, other family members in our lives that are steeped in Catholic traditions.

It's going to be a significant period of time before the general mindset in Ireland catches up with the UK "

I agree.. most of us are inherently caught in a mindset despite how liberal we might think we are... hopefully we catch up sooner rather than later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like or not Ireland is a Catholic state. We have all had parents, grandparents, other family members in our lives that are steeped in Catholic traditions.

It's going to be a significant period of time before the general mindset in Ireland catches up with the UK

I agree.. most of us are inherently caught in a mindset despite how liberal we might think we are... hopefully we catch up sooner rather than later "

I'm not sure that being liberal means one has to try everything, I can see many potential pitfalls to polyamory, just as with "traditional" relationships

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The public reaction to the woman discussing her polyamorous relationships on RTE recently tells you all you need to know. It takes a lot of courage to be a trailblazer and open about being in a non-traditional lifestyle, especially if it reveals you as a sexual woman. She got called words that I thought had died out in the 90's.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The public reaction to the woman discussing her polyamorous relationships on RTE recently tells you all you need to know. It takes a lot of courage to be a trailblazer and open about being in a non-traditional lifestyle, especially if it reveals you as a sexual woman. She got called words that I thought had died out in the 90's. "

Wow... didn’t know that was on the airwaves of RTE... thought the bishop would’ve been over to Mountrose to splash some holy water on the mast..

not surprised Rub of the reaction though...

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

Nothing to do with Ireland being conservative IMO.

I think it’s very hard for poly relationships to work . Having no string sex in a relationship with couples works but when real feeling show it’s hard for parties to not get I would imagine almost a sence of insecurity of how much your partner loves you to the other party. I think it can open up a huge can of worms and emotions and feelings getting hurt. The old saying two’s company three is a crowd.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nothing to do with Ireland being conservative IMO.

I think it’s very hard for poly relationships to work . Having no string sex in a relationship with couples works but when real feeling show it’s hard for parties to not get I would imagine almost a sence of insecurity of how much your partner loves you to the other party. I think it can open up a huge can of worms and emotions and feelings getting hurt. The old saying two’s company three is a crowd. "

It takes a very high level of communication, emotional intelligence, respect, integrity, personal responsibilty etc for sure. Imagine all those qualities in multiple people in a relationship!! Rare

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By *atherjackhackettMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

I don't think I'd be into it myself. I prefer just one full time partner and have random plays when we'd want.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Slightly different slant on this but still involving numerous relationships.

On a previous profile here 3 years ago I met a woman who was quite happy to discuss her ongoing relationships with two other men. They both knew about each other and that she also continued to have casual meets at parties and socials.

She insisted that I however had to be exclusive to her and was not to meet anyone else. That wasn't for me so I called a halt to it.

Around the same time her relationships with the two long term guys also broke down and she laid the blame for that on me even though I'd never met either and I'd only met her 3 or 4 times over a 4 month period.

She is no longer on here but I still speak to her now and again.

Based on that experience alone I find it difficult to see how any relationship involving multiple people could last any length of time due to differing personalities and ideas. Sooner or later a spanner will be thrown in the works.

I'm sure a lot of people have made it work and continue to do so but it can't be as simple as it sounds.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Like or not Ireland is a Catholic state. We have all had parents, grandparents, other family members in our lives that are steeped in Catholic traditions.

It's going to be a significant period of time before the general mindset in Ireland catches up with the UK

I agree.. most of us are inherently caught in a mindset despite how liberal we might think we are... hopefully we catch up sooner rather than later

I'm not sure that being liberal means one has to try everything, I can see many potential pitfalls to polyamory, just as with "traditional" relationships"

Agreed liberal doesn’t mean trying everything but would mean not being judgmental on people that do.. as in more liberal like the Dutch.. not all try red light district and drugs.. but the public’s attitude is more open...

I suppose Casey the issues you see are of course right.. but obviously it works for some too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think I'd be into it myself. I prefer just one full time partner and have random plays when we'd want. "

Exactly, why make life more complicated than it needs to be

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nothing to do with Ireland being conservative IMO.

I think it’s very hard for poly relationships to work . Having no string sex in a relationship with couples works but when real feeling show it’s hard for parties to not get I would imagine almost a sence of insecurity of how much your partner loves you to the other party. I think it can open up a huge can of worms and emotions and feelings getting hurt. The old saying two’s company three is a crowd.

It takes a very high level of communication, emotional intelligence, respect, integrity, personal responsibilty etc for sure. Imagine all those qualities in multiple people in a relationship!! Rare "

Rare indeed... like a double unicorn.. or something.. maybe that’s just a deer.. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been involved in a few different poly relationships, made up in different ways.

Open and honest communication is key. They do take a lot of work but they can be great.

Completely different to swinging and if pushed I think I'm more inclined towards poly but it doesn't mean there can be zero cross over between the two.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nothing to do with Ireland being conservative IMO.

I think it’s very hard for poly relationships to work . Having no string sex in a relationship with couples works but when real feeling show it’s hard for parties to not get I would imagine almost a sence of insecurity of how much your partner loves you to the other party. I think it can open up a huge can of worms and emotions and feelings getting hurt. The old saying two’s company three is a crowd. "

It's interesting that in societies where polyamory is "traditional", it's often about an imbalance of power and wealth.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Slightly different slant on this but still involving numerous relationships.

On a previous profile here 3 years ago I met a woman who was quite happy to discuss her ongoing relationships with two other men. They both knew about each other and that she also continued to have casual meets at parties and socials.

She insisted that I however had to be exclusive to her and was not to meet anyone else. That wasn't for me so I called a halt to it.

Around the same time her relationships with the two long term guys also broke down and she laid the blame for that on me even though I'd never met either and I'd only met her 3 or 4 times over a 4 month period.

She is no longer on here but I still speak to her now and again.

Based on that experience alone I find it difficult to see how any relationship involving multiple people could last any length of time due to differing personalities and ideas. Sooner or later a spanner will be thrown in the works.

I'm sure a lot of people have made it work and continue to do so but it can't be as simple as it sounds. "

Thanks for the share RB...

I definitely wouldn’t think it’s simple.. a bit like rocket surgery... lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is Ireland too conservative? - On the surface yes but not at heart, so I think it depends on how the scenario is presented to make it 'acceptable'.

Would I contemplate it - I think its entirely possible to have emotional connections with more than one person so yes, im open to letting my life evolve.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is Ireland too conservative? - On the surface yes but not at heart, so I think it depends on how the scenario is presented to make it 'acceptable'.

Would I contemplate it - I think its entirely possible to have emotional connections with more than one person so yes, im open to letting my life evolve. "

Love your openness Rub... very inspiring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We found ourselves in a poly situation going on 2 years now, with another couple. It did stay of as just regular swapping and feelings crept in, and we make time to husband swap, and also do normal things all together to.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We found ourselves in a poly situation going on 2 years now, with another couple. It did stay of as just regular swapping and feelings crept in, and we make time to husband swap, and also do normal things all together to. "

Wow.. 2 couples that’s unexpected... and interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well no 1 is more superised then us. Want intentionally and wouldn't if believed it if told at the start.

But we all get in really well, and do normal things to. And the bonus is we can easily free up a couple without needing babysitters lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well no 1 is more superised then us. Want intentionally and wouldn't if believed it if told at the start.

But we all get in really well, and do normal things to. And the bonus is we can easily free up a couple without needing babysitters lol"

Now I never thought that a poly lifestyle could be so practical... lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not 100% how this is. For example would i be classafied this as im attracged to females but i am not attracted physicaly to males but still play and enjoy sexual activities with them but never get feeling. Only feelings i had was with my partner that knew i was meeting at ghe time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not 100% how this is. For example would i be classafied this as im attracged to females but i am not attracted physicaly to males but still play and enjoy sexual activities with them but never get feeling. Only feelings i had was with my partner that knew i was meeting at ghe time?"

Polyamory is a state of being ethically non-monogamous. Choosing to be in committed relationships - usually including sex - with more than one person. Where everyone involved knows, accepts and respects the dynamics of the relationships.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not 100% how this is. For example would i be classafied this as im attracged to females but i am not attracted physicaly to males but still play and enjoy sexual activities with them but never get feeling. Only feelings i had was with my partner that knew i was meeting at ghe time?

Polyamory is a state of being ethically non-monogamous. Choosing to be in committed relationships - usually including sex - with more than one person. Where everyone involved knows, accepts and respects the dynamics of the relationships."

Ok i get you. Can it be with the same.sex or opposite sex or does it matter?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

gender doesnt come into it, its all about sharing the love!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"gender doesnt come into it, its all about sharing the love! "

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Slightly different slant on this but still involving numerous relationships.

On a previous profile here 3 years ago I met a woman who was quite happy to discuss her ongoing relationships with two other men. They both knew about each other and that she also continued to have casual meets at parties and socials.

She insisted that I however had to be exclusive to her and was not to meet anyone else. That wasn't for me so I called a halt to it.

Around the same time her relationships with the two long term guys also broke down and she laid the blame for that on me even though I'd never met either and I'd only met her 3 or 4 times over a 4 month period.

She is no longer on here but I still speak to her now and again.

Based on that experience alone I find it difficult to see how any relationship involving multiple people could last any length of time due to differing personalities and ideas. Sooner or later a spanner will be thrown in the works.

I'm sure a lot of people have made it work and continue to do so but it can't be as simple as it sounds. "

Sounds like that woman was entirely unsuited to polyamory then from what I can read then. Not only in attempting to manipulate your own time away from her but after the fact attempting to place the entire blame on you.

It reeks of a both a manipulative and an insecure personality. Both things which are incredibly problematic for a two person relationship, never mind the complications and mental gymnastics it would cause in the many combinations involved in even the minimum polyamorous relationship (each of the three peoples connections with the other two - 6 viewpoints)

Yikes!!

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