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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have been trying to be a decent person on here but it's just not working.im fed up with trying to start convos on here and either my message not getting read or it gets deleted.am i that ugly and repulsive that no woman wants to chat to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably same for most single guys. Dont take it personal. I'm sure most women are probably bombarded with messages. It only takes one to reply and chat to that can lead to awesome times.

Also with everything going on might be quieter on here with most not meeting. In quite new so not sure if much quieter or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of us feel the same way, I'll be very honest: either get out for your confidence or stay in with a glimmer of hope.

You're not gonna get much now and these people make it clear, they won't give you the time of day unless you're the type. For one group, you might be that type after lockdown.

If you can handle that stay.

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By *murphMan
over a year ago

drogheda

It is the same for all single guys on here I have met a few couples on here who say they are bombarded with time wasters and fake people havnt met anyone since last February but that is my choice with this virus thing but still have people asking to meet it is crazy

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

5 weeks is a very short time op. If you want to have any success in here the two things you need are patience and a positive outlook.

That applies to anyone who feels they are being ignored.

Use the forums more and show you have a sense of humour and don't be constantly dour and negative and give it time.

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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham


"Use the forums more and show you have a sense of humour and don't be constantly dour and negative and give it time. "

This. This all day...

OP I'm not going to be too harsh and I'm far from an expert at picking up women. But...

You've posted 7 times in the forums. One was a thread asking for profile advice, which is fine, then 3 of the remaining 6 are just overly negative posts about how you can't get chatting to people. People are going to become more familiar with your username and associate with negativity the more you post like that.

Engage in the forums like you would if you were just out socially. Chat about random things, engage in the games etc. Not very many people are meeting at the moment and as a result the active numbers are down on the site not a lot are chatting.

Give it time, don't get too hung up on it and just enjoy the place socially.

And on messaging/replies - it happens us all. Sometimes they'll stat unread, sometimes they'll get deleted straight away, sometimes they'll get a token gesture reply out of niceness, and then sometimes, the chat will flow. Bear in mind just how bombarded the average woman on here with messages... it's beyone belief.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

5 weeks is a very short space of time. This site owes you nothing OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly you need to ask yourself if you want to be here or a normal dating site.. Not the best place to be if you can't handle rejection etc.. Fab should be used as an extension of your normal sex life.. Meet like minded people into similar kink. You might be better of if looking for a connection or chats for a number of different sites. Put 5 weeks is nothing on here. Patience is key. Best of luck in whatever you do but negativity won't get you anywhere.

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...


"Honestly you need to ask yourself if you want to be here or a normal dating site.. Not the best place to be if you can't handle rejection etc.. Fab should be used as an extension of your normal sex life.. Meet like minded people into similar kink. You might be better of if looking for a connection or chats for a number of different sites. Put 5 weeks is nothing on here. Patience is key. Best of luck in whatever you do but negativity won't get you anywhere. "

This 100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just convince myself that I'm playing hard to get so when inevitably I receive ZERO messages I spin it as a positive

#PositiveLifeHacks

#TurnThatFrownUpsideDown

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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham


"I just convince myself that I'm playing hard to get so when inevitably I receive ZERO messages I spin it as a positive

#PositiveLifeHacks

#TurnThatFrownUpsideDown

"

Absolutely man... SURE, my inbox is empty, but that just because I've set my filters to only receive messages from women aged 40-41, between 5'4 and 5'5 in height with brown hair only and blue eyes only with precisely one tattoo and 3 piercings.

All about the patience, some day she'll come along...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been trying to be a decent person on here but it's just not working."

I'm not being a smartass here, but it's your approach that isn't working. Being a "decent" person isn't enough to guarantee you a conversation on here, and why would it?

This is a swingers site, most people are not here to meet "decent" people, they are looking for sexy, confident, adventurous, funny, intelligent.... Yes it helps if you're a decent person, but are you displaying any other desirable qualities?


"im fed up with trying to start convos on here and either my message not getting read or it gets deleted."

First of all consider ratios. You're in Meath. A quick fab search shows:

- 47 women

- 300+ men

Imagine you're a single woman on this site. You login and you have 100 unread messages. Which one are you going to open first? Are you going to open one from somebody that you've never met before, or are you going to open one from somebody that you are already familiar with from engaging in the forums?

Are you going to reply to every single message every time you logon?

Out of curiosity, what are you sending in your messages? Would you feel comfortable copying and pasting one on here (leave the persons name out) and getting feedback on it? Maybe some women on here could give you some pointers?

One more thing: this isn't real life, it's virtual and some people find it easier to express themselves with words than others.

Some people actually consider incorrect grammar to be a turn off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just convince myself that I'm playing hard to get so when inevitably I receive ZERO messages I spin it as a positive

#PositiveLifeHacks

#TurnThatFrownUpsideDown

Absolutely man... SURE, my inbox is empty, but that just because I've set my filters to only receive messages from women aged 40-41, between 5'4 and 5'5 in height with brown hair only and blue eyes only with precisely one tattoo and 3 piercings.

All about the patience, some day she'll come along..."

Sure think of all the admin overheads

involved trying to manage lots of mails

and replies on a daily basis. We are avoiding all that hassle!!

I think our strategies will play off longterm and i'm sure that 5'5, 40 and a half year old lady is now planning to get some tats and piercings done when L5 restrictions are lifted, just to say Hello

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't give up hope... As said above the ratio of men far outweighs women so its not personal... You probably feel like a needle in a haystack. I think a lot of women have pre existing friendships /relationships so it's natural when they get hundreds of messages to respond to those they have a rapport with first. Plus lockdown fatigue is hitting everyone. While I'm not expert I do think building a friendship through forums and letting people get to know you is the best bet to a better Fab experience but as people have said try enjoy it and don't beat yourself up too much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just convince myself that I'm playing hard to get so when inevitably I receive ZERO messages I spin it as a positive

#PositiveLifeHacks

#TurnThatFrownUpsideDown

"

“Some things in life are bad.... they can really make you mad... other things just make you sweat and curse..... don’t grumble give a whistle... aaannnddd ....” take it away audience.... “always look on the bright side of life.... (whistling away)...”

Listen to that one... if that don’t work... well ... I’ll stay polite!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"I have been trying to be a decent person on here but it's just not working.

I'm not being a smartass here, but it's your approach that isn't working. Being a "decent" person isn't enough to guarantee you a conversation on here, and why would it?

This is a swingers site, most people are not here to meet "decent" people, they are looking for sexy, confident, adventurous, funny, intelligent.... Yes it helps if you're a decent person, but are you displaying any other desirable qualities?

im fed up with trying to start convos on here and either my message not getting read or it gets deleted.

First of all consider ratios. You're in Meath. A quick fab search shows:

- 47 women

- 300+ men

Imagine you're a single woman on this site. You login and you have 100 unread messages. Which one are you going to open first? Are you going to open one from somebody that you've never met before, or are you going to open one from somebody that you are already familiar with from engaging in the forums?

Are you going to reply to every single message every time you logon?

Out of curiosity, what are you sending in your messages? Would you feel comfortable copying and pasting one on here (leave the persons name out) and getting feedback on it? Maybe some women on here could give you some pointers?

One more thing: this isn't real life, it's virtual and some people find it easier to express themselves with words than others.

Some people actually consider incorrect grammar to be a turn off "

The only thing posting or quoting PM's will get anyone is a stint on the naughty step

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The green arrow is most useful. You asked for advice on your profile two weeks ago and people took the time to give it to you. But you didn't take any of their suggestions or advice! So here you are back again wondering why you are not knee deep in fanny!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been trying to be a decent person on here but it's just not working.im fed up with trying to start convos on here and either my message not getting read or it gets deleted.am i that ugly and repulsive that no woman wants to chat to me."

Aaawww..sorry you feel that way!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The green arrow is most useful. You asked for advice on your profile two weeks ago and people took the time to give it to you. But you didn't take any of their suggestions or advice! So here you are back again wondering why you are not knee deep in fanny! "

Ouch.. Rosy lol

OP every man on the thread has stated the obvious and you definitely have to sing for your supper here... sense of entitlement will get what it deserves... my own experiences have not always positive but you get out what you put in.. I’m glad to say because of the forums I can call some people friends here.. messages are few for most guys so don’t sweat it...

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By *sLittleRedRidingHoodWoman
over a year ago

Magical Forrest


"Honestly you need to ask yourself if you want to be here or a normal dating site.. Not the best place to be if you can't handle rejection etc.. Fab should be used as an extension of your normal sex life.. Meet like minded people into similar kink. You might be better of if looking for a connection or chats for a number of different sites. Put 5 weeks is nothing on here. Patience is key. Best of luck in whatever you do but negativity won't get you anywhere.

This 100% "

And it's not the time to be meeting... alot of people who do not meet under the given circumstances...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been trying to be a decent person on here but it's just not working.im fed up with trying to start convos on here and either my message not getting read or it gets deleted.am i that ugly and repulsive that no woman wants to chat to me."

You haven't taken any of the solid advice given to you. You're not repulsive but you no Brad Pitt either. Use the advice, keep plugging and post something positive for a change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The only thing posting or quoting PM's will get anyone is a stint on the naughty step"

I'm asking if he'd be interested in posting messages that he's sent, not anybody elses of course

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"The only thing posting or quoting PM's will get anyone is a stint on the naughty step

I'm asking if he'd be interested in posting messages that he's sent, not anybody elses of course "

It's against site rules to discuss any PM's in the forums

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By *irdnBorisMan
over a year ago

meath

Sure your only here 5 weeks thats no time at all it was 3 mths before i met somebody and its even harder to meet people know with pandemic i know theres still people meeting up and blatnly advertise that they are wont bother me i wont be entertaining them what so ever . So if you thought by just joining that meets are just going to happen straight away you may think again .it takes time and effort if you dont put in either maybe stick with pof or tin .der . Engage in the forums put in the odd comment on sum topics and work the site rather than just thinking its going to jump at you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The only thing posting or quoting PM's will get anyone is a stint on the naughty step

I'm asking if he'd be interested in posting messages that he's sent, not anybody elses of course

It's against site rules to discuss any PM's in the forums "

Ah ok, I wasn't aware of that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"5 weeks is a very short time op. If you want to have any success in here the two things you need are patience and a positive outlook.

That applies to anyone who feels they are being ignored.

Use the forums more and show you have a sense of humour and don't be constantly dour and negative and give it time. "

This only applies if the OP thinks anyone on the forum is worth meeting .

Forum users only make up a small percentage of site users.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"5 weeks is a very short time op. If you want to have any success in here the two things you need are patience and a positive outlook.

That applies to anyone who feels they are being ignored.

Use the forums more and show you have a sense of humour and don't be constantly dour and negative and give it time.

This only applies if the OP thinks anyone on the forum is worth meeting .

Forum users only make up a small percentage of site users. "

It's an option. He asked for advice in the forum. Patience and a positive outlook don't just apply to the forum though.

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west


"I have been trying to be a decent person on here but it's just not working.im fed up with trying to start convos on here and either my message not getting read or it gets deleted.am i that ugly and repulsive that no woman wants to chat to me."

Didn't you have a post up about confidence issues like it's been pointed out you have only been here for 5 weeks so there is no rush and looks ain't everything women here would prefer someone with a good personalty

And just remember one key point no one here owes you a reply if they don't reply or delete your message just take it on the chin and move on you have to realise women here get ungodly amount of messages on a daily basis so just give it time

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By *rmrspumpCouple
over a year ago

narnia

[Removed by poster at 12/02/21 08:09:27]

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By *rmrspumpCouple
over a year ago

narnia

2 things..

Firstly, fab is currently a shit show, even for the popular people, the pandemic has cut meets by 90% at least

Second, you need to manage your expectations, the chances of getting a meet as a single guy are slim, it's a numbers game and the numbers are not your friend. However if you come here with no expectation of a meet, enjoy the forums the pics and videos and have a few laughs you'll have more fun. And you might get a wee meet as an unexpected bonus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Use the forums more and show you have a sense of humour and don't be constantly dour and negative and give it time.

This. This all day...

OP I'm not going to be too harsh and I'm far from an expert at picking up women. But...

You've posted 7 times in the forums. One was a thread asking for profile advice, which is fine, then 3 of the remaining 6 are just overly negative posts about how you can't get chatting to people. People are going to become more familiar with your username and associate with negativity the more you post like that.

Engage in the forums like you would if you were just out socially. Chat about random things, engage in the games etc. Not very many people are meeting at the moment and as a result the active numbers are down on the site not a lot are chatting.

Give it time, don't get too hung up on it and just enjoy the place socially.

And on messaging/replies - it happens us all. Sometimes they'll stat unread, sometimes they'll get deleted straight away, sometimes they'll get a token gesture reply out of niceness, and then sometimes, the chat will flow. Bear in mind just how bombarded the average woman on here with messages... it's beyone belief.

Good luck "

this is very good advice and exactly how it is right now is 100 times worse with covid. OP i am sincerely wishing you all the best and I would also just say give time time on here. When covid ends try get an invite to a social event to break the ice into the scene.

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west


"Use the forums more and show you have a sense of humour and don't be constantly dour and negative and give it time.

This. This all day...

OP I'm not going to be too harsh and I'm far from an expert at picking up women. But...

You've posted 7 times in the forums. One was a thread asking for profile advice, which is fine, then 3 of the remaining 6 are just overly negative posts about how you can't get chatting to people. People are going to become more familiar with your username and associate with negativity the more you post like that.

Engage in the forums like you would if you were just out socially. Chat about random things, engage in the games etc. Not very many people are meeting at the moment and as a result the active numbers are down on the site not a lot are chatting.

Give it time, don't get too hung up on it and just enjoy the place socially.

And on messaging/replies - it happens us all. Sometimes they'll stat unread, sometimes they'll get deleted straight away, sometimes they'll get a token gesture reply out of niceness, and then sometimes, the chat will flow. Bear in mind just how bombarded the average woman on here with messages... it's beyone belief.

Good luck

this is very good advice and exactly how it is right now is 100 times worse with covid. OP i am sincerely wishing you all the best and I would also just say give time time on here. When covid ends try get an invite to a social event to break the ice into the scene. "

What happens if OP doesn't have ice to break would that be an issue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Use the forums more and show you have a sense of humour and don't be constantly dour and negative and give it time.

This. This all day...

OP I'm not going to be too harsh and I'm far from an expert at picking up women. But...

You've posted 7 times in the forums. One was a thread asking for profile advice, which is fine, then 3 of the remaining 6 are just overly negative posts about how you can't get chatting to people. People are going to become more familiar with your username and associate with negativity the more you post like that.

Engage in the forums like you would if you were just out socially. Chat about random things, engage in the games etc. Not very many people are meeting at the moment and as a result the active numbers are down on the site not a lot are chatting.

Give it time, don't get too hung up on it and just enjoy the place socially.

And on messaging/replies - it happens us all. Sometimes they'll stat unread, sometimes they'll get deleted straight away, sometimes they'll get a token gesture reply out of niceness, and then sometimes, the chat will flow. Bear in mind just how bombarded the average woman on here with messages... it's beyone belief.

Good luck

this is very good advice and exactly how it is right now is 100 times worse with covid. OP i am sincerely wishing you all the best and I would also just say give time time on here. When covid ends try get an invite to a social event to break the ice into the scene.

What happens if OP doesn't have ice to break would that be an issue "

If he didn't have ice he would have issues in just slipping into the scene am sure.

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west


"Use the forums more and show you have a sense of humour and don't be constantly dour and negative and give it time.

This. This all day...

OP I'm not going to be too harsh and I'm far from an expert at picking up women. But...

You've posted 7 times in the forums. One was a thread asking for profile advice, which is fine, then 3 of the remaining 6 are just overly negative posts about how you can't get chatting to people. People are going to become more familiar with your username and associate with negativity the more you post like that.

Engage in the forums like you would if you were just out socially. Chat about random things, engage in the games etc. Not very many people are meeting at the moment and as a result the active numbers are down on the site not a lot are chatting.

Give it time, don't get too hung up on it and just enjoy the place socially.

And on messaging/replies - it happens us all. Sometimes they'll stat unread, sometimes they'll get deleted straight away, sometimes they'll get a token gesture reply out of niceness, and then sometimes, the chat will flow. Bear in mind just how bombarded the average woman on here with messages... it's beyone belief.

Good luck

this is very good advice and exactly how it is right now is 100 times worse with covid. OP i am sincerely wishing you all the best and I would also just say give time time on here. When covid ends try get an invite to a social event to break the ice into the scene.

What happens if OP doesn't have ice to break would that be an issue

If he didn't have ice he would have issues in just slipping into the scene am sure. "

I wouldn't find it hard to put the plug into the socket but I guess target practice would certainly help to get it right

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