FabSwingers.com forum: mother and baby home report

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone have any intial perspectives on it (or the reaction from govt)

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

My initial reaction is that the first people to blame are the fathers of the children

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By *ewadventures2017Couple
over a year ago

some where near

I think society as a whole is who's to blame

Church state and everyone involved

The horror stories we are getting snippets of

Imagine if it was your sister was in that situation as many were

I hope it can ease the pain for some and hopefully not be to sore a place for others

Just a question i often ask myself

What will be the terrible legacy of our generation

I'm heading fast for fifty

If I get to 80 say what will society be shocked at the we just allowed to happen under our watch

I really do feel sad at how those girls and their children were treated by ireland not so long ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My initial reaction is that the first people to blame are the fathers of the children

I'm certain that some of those said fathers would have relished the opportunity to raise a child. Some of those said fathers never knew they had fathered a child. Why, because of the rule of the church and the stigma.

What happened to those poor women and their innocent children by a government and religious organisation was and is disgusting , ill of faith and like a mini genocide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whole country should hang its head in shame, everyone knew these places were awful and sat back and did nothing.

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

Just finished reading the executive summary report. Shame on every single fucker that had anything to do with those poor women and children. Each and everyone deserves to rot in hell.

9000 dead children and no one thought it strange enough to do anything?!

An apology will never make it right or give families comfort. Its one of the most disturbing heartbreaking things I've read.

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By *inkywife1981Couple
over a year ago

A town near you

To think these homes were religious orders when in fact it appears they were more like something from a horror story ran by devil worshipers rather than men and women of the faith.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I came out of a mother and baby home. My biological grandparents were psycopaths. The grandmother tried to stab my mother while she was 7 months preg on me. The grandfather broke every bone in her face smashing it off a wall when he found out. She lived in a shithole part of Ireland with very little education and no job prospects local clergy put pressure on the family and her to give me up. My biological father did want to raise me in his parents house but was stopped by the mothers parents.

The m&b home she spent time in she was treated like dirt. Told bow her head to not make eye contact with the public. She was not allowed soothe me just feed me . That was the extent of the contact allowed. I was taken on the day of adoption without her knowledge. The nuns and nurses concocted a plan to take her for breakfast and while she was away the nuns took me .

I could write a lot more on my story but feel that's enough to give an idea .

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

Kate that is horrific, what she must have went through with no one by her side, totally heartbreaking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My initial reaction is that the first people to blame are the fathers of the children

And mothers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive skim read the executive findings. Its difficult for an outsider to believe that the report lays so little blame at the door of the Catholic Church.

Stinks.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"My initial reaction is that the first people to blame are the fathers of the children

And mothers. "

I cant blame the mothers at all to be honest

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

How could the mothers be blamed?!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive skim read the executive findings. Its difficult for an outsider to believe that the report lays so little blame at the door of the Catholic Church.

Stinks. "

Its the society who should be blame first. The families put them to hell. The institutions ran by nuns had agreement with society.

How is it possible that nobody heard the crying women and babies? This is shame for everyone who lived those days and quietly agreed and did not stand up for them poor young women and their children.

One of my family members is a nun and takes care of single mothers and their babies. There is always somebody to help young women (and others too) and no one abused anyone. These kind of institutions exist since XIX century in my country if origin. Its about being civilized.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I agree. But if you read the summary the Church seems to get off very lightly.

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By *yeCandyDublinCouple
over a year ago

Lucan

I came out of a mother and baby home. For 3 months the only human contact was when being bottle fed, rest of time left in cot. When adopted parents collected me I didn’t smile for 6 months...they thought I didn’t like them or there was something wrong with me...I was simply starved of love and affection the first few months I guess. Traced birth mother eventually and this was only made possible as I knew my birth surname...at every turn tracing was a nightmare...pure luck to eventually find her. She was a broken human being and couldn’t bear the shame of what had happened...severely depressed, had never married or had more children and didn’t want to make contact. There’s so much I could say. The damage that the church did and what society facilitated and allowed to happen has filtered through generations and generations. The Irish Holocaust

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By *oserMan
over a year ago

where the wild roses grow

"My initial reaction is that the first people to blame are the fathers of the children

And mothers. "

Why?

How the fook can you blame the mother?

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

The Irish Holocaust heard that earlier on the news and read it above

3 words that explain it perfectly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I came out of a mother and baby home. For 3 months the only human contact was when being bottle fed, rest of time left in cot. When adopted parents collected me I didn’t smile for 6 months...they thought I didn’t like them or there was something wrong with me...I was simply starved of love and affection the first few months I guess. Traced birth mother eventually and this was only made possible as I knew my birth surname...at every turn tracing was a nightmare...pure luck to eventually find her. She was a broken human being and couldn’t bear the shame of what had happened...severely depressed, had never married or had more children and didn’t want to make contact. There’s so much I could say. The damage that the church did and what society facilitated and allowed to happen has filtered through generations and generations. The Irish Holocaust

Lets hope those responsible who are still alive are made to pay. They are no better than the camp guards.

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

Both society of the time (more or less controlled by the church) and the church itself are to blame plain and simple. To blame the mother's or the father's is just wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The commission said it found "very little evidence that children were forcibly taken from their mothers".

It continued: "It accepts that the mothers did not have much choice but that is not the same as 'forced' adoption'."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My initial reaction is that the first people to blame are the fathers of the children

And mothers.

I cant blame the mothers at all to be honest "

But you blame fathers? Mothers left there babies there as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My initial reaction is that the first people to blame are the fathers of the children

And mothers.

Why?

How the fook can you blame the mother?

How can people blame fathers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just after seeing this on the news.

Had written a rant but hit backspace button.

Were the babies given a Christian burial?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The commission said it found "very little evidence that children were forcibly taken from their mothers".

It continued: "It accepts that the mothers did not have much choice but that is not the same as 'forced' adoption'."

And this is why ireland never changes..vote the same politial parties in over and over who just cover their asses over and over.

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By *oserMan
over a year ago

where the wild roses grow

"My initial reaction is that the first people to blame are the fathers of the children

And mothers.

Why?

How the fook can you blame the mother?

How can people blame fathers. "

I didn't, but I have no idea how you could blame the mothers, are you familiar with the circumstances that most of these girls were put through?

Falsely lead to believe that they would be either keeping the baby or at the very least meeting with the adoptive parents. But to discover the baby taken without consent or arrangement.

I cannot believe you made that statement you shock me

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"Just after seeing this on the news.

Had written a rant but hit backspace button.

Were the babies given a Christian burial? "

No and in Tuam they're buried in a sewer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The commission said it found "very little evidence that children were forcibly taken from their mothers".

It continued: "It accepts that the mothers did not have much choice but that is not the same as 'forced' adoption'."

And this is why ireland never changes..vote the same politial parties in over and over who just cover their asses over and over."

When you say "their asses" it wasn't the political parties that I was thinking of.

I was thinking of the nuns that seem to have run many of these homes . Let's just say that's not how I was brought up to look after other humans

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just after seeing this on the news.

Had written a rant but hit backspace button.

Were the babies given a Christian burial?

No and in Tuam they're buried in a sewer "

I saw the memorial garden in Tuam

Made me cry

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By *13_hercMan
over a year ago

Blackrock

Let's not rush to judge. The report needs to be taken in context of society as a whole, at that time. Infant mortality is one thing that the radio mentions, repeatedly - but what was the national level, in 2016 it was 81.3% ( CSO records ). These women were shunned by society at the time, so everyone is to blame, including their own families.

Before you jump down my throat for pouring oil on the waters - I am a product of one of these homes, and I am grateful for it - the alternative was likely a termination, and I don't think I'd have liked that nearly as much !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My initial reaction is that the first people to blame are the fathers of the children

And mothers.

Why?

How the fook can you blame the mother?

How can people blame fathers.

I didn't, but I have no idea how you could blame the mothers, are you familiar with the circumstances that most of these girls were put through?

Falsely lead to believe that they would be either keeping the baby or at the very least meeting with the adoptive parents. But to discover the baby taken without consent or arrangement.

I cannot believe you made that statement you shock me

I said it only because someone was blaming fathers also blaming the Catholic Church. Blame Blake blame

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let's not rush to judge. The report needs to be taken in context of society as a whole, at that time. Infant mortality is one thing that the radio mentions, repeatedly - but what was the national level, in 2016 it was 81.3% ( CSO records ). These women were shunned by society at the time, so everyone is to blame, including their own families.

Me also my mother left me there went to England for a year before she decided so it says on files.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

I've to say I'm gobsmacked who gets the blame while the actual culprits get away lightly.

As far as I know the church ran those institutions and also are responsible for the deeply misogynistic and misanthropic attitude that those poor women and their children had to experience, that caused so much hurt and ruined so many lifes. The same church that beat God fear from early childhood on into the Irish people and reigned with an iron fist and oppression, all hand in hand with alternating FF/FG lead government. The latter looking away, allowing this to happen rather than protecting the most vulnerable in society. Now out comes this clown of a Taoiseach who's political party has a lot to answer for and blames you all. Seriously?

Do you think there will be an apology from the church?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've to say I'm gobsmacked who gets the blame while the actual culprits get away lightly.

Do you think there will be an apology from the church? "

People are still waiting for religious orders to pay the money the courts told them to pay for child abuse among many other things. An apology won't happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's very difficult to hear to be honest, i haven't read any of it because it's just horrible. Where can i read up on recent reports i have been listening on the radio.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've to say I'm gobsmacked who gets the blame while the actual culprits get away lightly.

Do you think there will be an apology from the church? "

Agree 100 percent. A truly awful organisation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's very difficult to hear to be honest, i haven't read any of it because it's just horrible. Where can i read up on recent reports i have been listening on the radio. "

If you google 'mother and baby full report' you will find a link to the summary. Even that is over 70 pages long

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"It's very difficult to hear to be honest, i haven't read any of it because it's just horrible. Where can i read up on recent reports i have been listening on the radio. "

Probably The Irish Times website has the most comprehensive coverage

Or if you want to read the full report you have to download it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's very difficult to hear to be honest, i haven't read any of it because it's just horrible. Where can i read up on recent reports i have been listening on the radio.

Probably The Irish Times website has the most comprehensive coverage

Or if you want to read the full report you have to download it "

Thank you i just think blame is such a negative emotion. People are blaming religion but what God would want that abuse for anyone in or outside the churchs back then. Terrible abuse was happening in homes and all around in those times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's very difficult to hear to be honest, i haven't read any of it because it's just horrible. Where can i read up on recent reports i have been listening on the radio.

Probably The Irish Times website has the most comprehensive coverage

Or if you want to read the full report you have to download it

Im not sure 'religion' has much to do with 'God' unfortunately. Far more to do with evil men (and women) looking for power. Power they gain by inflicting harm on others.

But i suspect we differ wildly in that view. Hey ho, all part of being human.

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

It's unbelievable how it happened, so disturbing.

These poor mothers and the poor babies..... and to think only in 98 was the last of the homes closed same year as my middle daughter was born.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

But there are people to blame and should be held accountable. Religion itself is not to blame those who hid under the veil of religion and used it as a stick to beat others are to blame. They went against everything their religion was meant to stand for and like so many then and even now use it as an excuse to get away with deployable acts. And those who covered it up not just the homes but all the other things that happened are equally to blame. So many have lost faith in religion because of what happened over the years the brutality and cruelty was beyond disgusting and yet it went on for years. And no one was held accountable and plenty never will. While the victims were quite often shunned and their lives ruined. So sorry I disagree there is blame there and anyone living who had a hand in this should be held accountable no person should ever have been allowed to do what these people did.

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

The only crime that happened back then was how this was allowed to happen, religion and people having the power to let it happen shame on them.... to think it happened to young women of Ireland and innocent babies....words can never explain the cruelty this is way past public apologies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just thankful that I had the support of my family in 1994.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will say one thing.. Times were different back then. I have an older sister who found herself pregnant with twins at 17.the father said he never met her. (Liar) under pressure she went to a mother and baby home in limerick where she delivered 2 little girls. Immediately she was pressured to give them up for adoption, told she could offer them nothing and she was a fallen woman. Somehow she resisted and took her little girls home where she was spat on on tbe streets of a rural Midlands town. She fought tooth and nail for those girls who are now in their thirties with families of their own. I am immensely proud of her and everything she went through shunned by everyone including my own parents. Society is now thankfully different.

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By *ashy85Man
over a year ago

Waterford

"I think society as a whole is who's to blame

Church state and everyone involved

The horror stories we are getting snippets of

Imagine if it was your sister was in that situation as many were

I hope it can ease the pain for some and hopefully not be to sore a place for others

Just a question i often ask myself

What will be the terrible legacy of our generation

I'm heading fast for fifty

If I get to 80 say what will society be shocked at the we just allowed to happen under our watch

I really do feel sad at how those girls and their children were treated by ireland not so long ago

Sorry but how can society be blamed? Everyone back then was brainwashed by the church. The church and government are to blame

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

For evil to flourish ,it only takes good men to do nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think society as a whole is who's to blame

Church state and everyone involved

The horror stories we are getting snippets of

Imagine if it was your sister was in that situation as many were

I hope it can ease the pain for some and hopefully not be to sore a place for others

Just a question i often ask myself

What will be the terrible legacy of our generation

I'm heading fast for fifty

If I get to 80 say what will society be shocked at the we just allowed to happen under our watch

I really do feel sad at how those girls and their children were treated by ireland not so long ago

I disagree with blaming “us” as a society. We have to ask deeper questions of ourselves. If you want to blame society you have to ask what you mean by society, and how that society was formed, run and influenced. You’ll find that the society of the time was ruled by the iron fist of the Catholic Church and the state - totally interlocked. Those in power bolstered this society and fundamentally shaped every normal Joe Soaps opinion. These regular people had no power whatsoever to influence change or political will. While families may have behaved poorly or at least not acted heroically towards these poor women and children, most of them were likely acting in fear of the wrath of religion, god, Satan and the state and the way that Catholicism was taught to us was through the prism of fear, sin, guilt and shame. How would that lead to anything but disaster? So to reiterate I totally disagree about blaming society as a whole before you even mention the church or state.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's very difficult to hear to be honest, i haven't read any of it because it's just horrible. Where can i read up on recent reports i have been listening on the radio.

Probably The Irish Times website has the most comprehensive coverage

Or if you want to read the full report you have to download it

Im not sure 'religion' has much to do with 'God' unfortunately. Far more to do with evil men (and women) looking for power. Power they gain by inflicting harm on others.

But i suspect we differ wildly in that view. Hey ho, all part of being human.

"Religion has nothing to do with God" ? I would love to know more about this statement? So the Catholic Church had nothing to do with God? Or any religion so is that what your ads saying here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My thoughts and heart go to the brave survivors of the house and baby homes. I wish the society found a way to conpensate all the suffering and injustice caused.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

To be honest I think the catholic church is one of the most corrupt and evil institutions in the world

I don't believe God existed as religions need to try to control everyone by guarding the gates to heaven to the chosen ones

Women especially are hated and they're only pro life until the child is born they they couldn't give a fuck

Shower of cunts

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"My thoughts and heart go to the brave survivors of the house and baby homes. I wish the society found a way to conpensate all the suffering and injustice caused.

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth

"Anyone have any intial perspectives on it (or the reaction from govt)"

Proof that Catholicism is an evil cult

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By *istyblue1967Man
over a year ago

manchester

these young girls and boys tried to tell parents of their abuse by priestsbut no one would believe them. other people would turn against them for saying these things about the clergy. horrible times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's very difficult to hear to be honest, i haven't read any of it because it's just horrible. Where can i read up on recent reports i have been listening on the radio.

Probably The Irish Times website has the most comprehensive coverage

Or if you want to read the full report you have to download it

Im not sure 'religion' has much to do with 'God' unfortunately. Far more to do with evil men (and women) looking for power. Power they gain by inflicting harm on others.

But i suspect we differ wildly in that view. Hey ho, all part of being human.

"Religion has nothing to do with God" ? I would love to know more about this statement? So the Catholic Church had nothing to do with God? Or any religion so is that what your ads saying here? "

What im saying is that if there are Gods (there aren't) then i cannot see them being the tiniest bit impressed with horrible religions like the Catholic Church. Religion is about control and power, not about Gods.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My thoughts and heart go to the brave survivors of the house and baby homes. I wish the society found a way to conpensate all the suffering and injustice caused.

I am a survivor thank god and sadly my biological mother of the mother and baby home eventually took her own life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My thoughts and heart go to the brave survivors of the house and baby homes. I wish the society found a way to conpensate all the suffering and injustice caused.

I am a survivor thank god and sadly my biological mother of the mother and baby home eventually took her own life. "

I am sorry to hear this.

Speaking as a proud single dad times and society have changed. In the last few years I had to fight for custody of my child against an abusive and narcisstic mother whose family said I could not possibly raise a child by myself. There was times when I struggled and doubted myself but kind words from friends and sometimes even strangers and support from a very understanding female solicitor saw us through. This is no consolation for what happened in the past but for those who shared their horrific experiences it really changed public opinion and saved my child from a similar faith.

I am sorry for what happened but I am grateful people had the courage to speak out and keep going.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My thoughts and heart go to the brave survivors of the house and baby homes. I wish the society found a way to conpensate all the suffering and injustice caused.

I am a survivor thank god and sadly my biological mother of the mother and baby home eventually took her own life.

I am sorry to hear this.

I am sorry for what happened but I am grateful people had the courage to speak out and keep going."

Well done to you for doing that, yes there is lots of supports there today thank god.

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