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women and gossip

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary

ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?"

About the men on here on in general

I remember reading a thread previously where some woman posted that they passed on information to each other about some men for safety reasons.

Would it bother you if women that you only know on here talk about you in private

If they do I'd hope they don't think too bad of me but apart from that I'm never going to know am I so why worry about it

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By *ouple 0073Couple
over a year ago

donegal


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?"
no not much.. But hi have ye heard about yer man... Ohh hang sorry

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?

About the men on here on in general

I remember reading a thread previously where some woman posted that they passed on information to each other about some men for safety reasons.

Would it bother you if women that you only know on here talk about you in private

If they do I'd hope they don't think too bad of me but apart from that I'm never going to know am I so why worry about it "

on here? I'd say the vast majority of women talk about the men in private. let's not forget, so many women are "friends" on here

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?

About the men on here on in general

I remember reading a thread previously where some woman posted that they passed on information to each other about some men for safety reasons.

Would it bother you if women that you only know on here talk about you in private

If they do I'd hope they don't think too bad of me but apart from that I'm never going to know am I so why worry about it on here? I'd say the vast majority of women talk about the men in private. let's not forget, so many women are "friends" on here "

So you answered your own question

Does it bother you if someone discusses you when you dont know

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?

About the men on here on in general

I remember reading a thread previously where some woman posted that they passed on information to each other about some men for safety reasons.

Would it bother you if women that you only know on here talk about you in private

If they do I'd hope they don't think too bad of me but apart from that I'm never going to know am I so why worry about it on here? I'd say the vast majority of women talk about the men in private. let's not forget, so many women are "friends" on here

So you answered your own question

Does it bother you if someone discusses you when you dont know "

not in the slightest. nothing you can do about it but I'd say it goes on 10 fold.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?

About the men on here on in general

I remember reading a thread previously where some woman posted that they passed on information to each other about some men for safety reasons.

Would it bother you if women that you only know on here talk about you in private

If they do I'd hope they don't think too bad of me but apart from that I'm never going to know am I so why worry about it on here? I'd say the vast majority of women talk about the men in private. let's not forget, so many women are "friends" on here

So you answered your own question

Does it bother you if someone discusses you when you dont know not in the slightest. nothing you can do about it but I'd say it goes on 10 fold."

What do you think they say

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?

About the men on here on in general

I remember reading a thread previously where some woman posted that they passed on information to each other about some men for safety reasons.

Would it bother you if women that you only know on here talk about you in private

If they do I'd hope they don't think too bad of me but apart from that I'm never going to know am I so why worry about it on here? I'd say the vast majority of women talk about the men in private. let's not forget, so many women are "friends" on here

So you answered your own question

Does it bother you if someone discusses you when you dont know not in the slightest. nothing you can do about it but I'd say it goes on 10 fold.

What do you think they say "

what was said in private, if they met you what you were like, what do u think of the fella, so on so forth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also.. Men on here talk just as much as the women..

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"Also.. Men on here talk just as much as the women.. "

Who talked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men talk about women to eachother and men talk about men as women may talk about women aswell. It all depends on whether a person is the kind who talks about people or not. Personally i am well gone past the caring what people say or think about me . OP once i am happy with me is all that matters, if someone's talking about me they are leaving someone else alone. Also i love this quote "what other think of me is none of my business".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also.. Men on here talk just as much as the women..

Who talked "

I couldn't possibly comment incase that makes me a gossip.. I'll pm ya hun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also.. Men on here talk just as much as the women.. "

Yes but taking is normal and is not always necessarily negative either.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"Also.. Men on here talk just as much as the women.. "
the dirty divils.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"Also.. Men on here talk just as much as the women..

Yes but taking is normal and is not always necessarily negative either. "

discussing other fab members in private mail? I dont see the point. if you're talking to a person, your interest would be getting to no them

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"Also.. Men on here talk just as much as the women..

Yes but taking is normal and is not always necessarily negative either. "

But why do women gossip and men talk

Men and women can do either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/11/20 22:04:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also.. Men on here talk just as much as the women..

Yes but taking is normal and is not always necessarily negative either. discussing other fab members in private mail? I dont see the point. if you're talking to a person, your interest would be getting to no them

"

I hear you now, yes that much be annoying alright. I haven't come across it myself to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope never

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City

Yes of course we do. But I equally chat with guys!

However, I’ve only ever had other women look out for my welfare with a warning. There is a LOT abusive and fake profiles going around and it’s really appreciated to get a heads up.

I’ve also been able to verify a verification and take recommendations. That has only ever worked to a mans advantage and there are a few (regular forum posters) that have greatly benefitted!!!

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By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple
over a year ago

ireland

Detest gossips full stop !

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"Detest gossips full stop !"
even veris. would never look at them. make my own mind up on a person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been swinging on and off for many years, but never identify or discuss in any detail others I have met. I’m not a person for gossip. If someone happens to tell me something about someone else I keep it to myself.

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"I have been swinging on and off for many years, but never identify or discuss in any detail others I have met. I’m not a person for gossip. If someone happens to tell me something about someone else I keep it to myself. "

LOL. That’s gossip!!! Not passing it on just means you are discreet...

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"Detest gossips full stop !even veris. would never look at them. make my own mind up on a person. "

I suppose you’ve never been threatened on here, or insulted, abused...? Wouldn’t you like to know if someone you were gonna meet was dangerous?

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"Detest gossips full stop !even veris. would never look at them. make my own mind up on a person.

I suppose you’ve never been threatened on here, or insulted, abused...? Wouldn’t you like to know if someone you were gonna meet was dangerous? "

so you believe everything your told about men? that's a genuine question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been swinging on and off for many years, but never identify or discuss in any detail others I have met. I’m not a person for gossip. If someone happens to tell me something about someone else I keep it to myself.

LOL. That’s gossip!!! Not passing it on just means you are discreet..."

It may be gossip.... but it didn’t come from me. I don’t gossip....simples!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So when is it gossip and when is it advice??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?"

Sure they do, they also swap pics without guys knowledge or consent, it happens.

Oh and then they will put the boot into these women when the time comes to secure the ride themselves. Who knew eh!!

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"Detest gossips full stop !even veris. would never look at them. make my own mind up on a person.

I suppose you’ve never been threatened on here, or insulted, abused...? Wouldn’t you like to know if someone you were gonna meet was dangerous? so you believe everything your told about men? that's a genuine question. "

No bit I’m more likely to believe a girl I’ve chatted to 60 times than a guy who’s trying to get me in the sack. I have never been warned away from someone i already liked but I have been warned off someone who perhaps behaved badly after a verification had been received.

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?

Sure they do, they also swap pics without guys knowledge or consent, it happens.

Oh and then they will put the boot into these women when the time comes to secure the ride themselves. Who knew eh!! "

Yeah... the only photos I’ve ever been passed are screenshots of profiles that I couldn’t find. I think you are over dramatising that women sometimes need to look after each other.

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"So when is it gossip and when is it advice?? "

It’s gossip when it’s nasty and unnecessary. It’s advice when yer looking out for someone.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary

sure it's like they say, you dont know what somebody is fully like until you meet them face to face

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"sure it's like they say, you dont know what somebody is fully like until you meet them face to face"

Yes but women are still at risk. I have two friends off fab that I will give the details of any meet to. And message then after to let them know I’m ok.

Do you feel the need to do that?

Cos I do.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"sure it's like they say, you dont know what somebody is fully like until you meet them face to face

Yes but women are still at risk. I have two friends off fab that I will give the details of any meet to. And message then after to let them know I’m ok.

Do you feel the need to do that?

Cos I do. "

no but I fully understand meets are more risky for women than men. let's be honest, more men can look after themselves. hope you dont ever meet a Michael Myers type lunatic ha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"sure it's like they say, you dont know what somebody is fully like until you meet them face to face

Yes but women are still at risk. I have two friends off fab that I will give the details of any meet to. And message then after to let them know I’m ok.

Do you feel the need to do that?

Cos I do. "

With all due respect, if you feel the need to do that why are you meeting at all??

If you go through with it it's a bit late when your friends have to contact the police afterwards if you haven't messaged and something has happened!!!

That's totally pointless and adds absolutely nothing to the safety of your meet.

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City

[Removed by poster at 29/11/20 23:13:00]

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"sure it's like they say, you dont know what somebody is fully like until you meet them face to face

Yes but women are still at risk. I have two friends off fab that I will give the details of any meet to. And message then after to let them know I’m ok.

Do you feel the need to do that?

Cos I do. no but I fully understand meets are more risky for women than men. let's be honest, more men can look after themselves. hope you dont ever meet a Michael Myers type lunatic ha."

LOL no not yet. Been very lucky. Met a couple of weirdos but no-one dangerous. Too long on the scene to take the risk..

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"sure it's like they say, you dont know what somebody is fully like until you meet them face to face

Yes but women are still at risk. I have two friends off fab that I will give the details of any meet to. And message then after to let them know I’m ok.

Do you feel the need to do that?

Cos I do.

With all due respect, if you feel the need to do that why are you meeting at all??

If you go through with it it's a bit late when your friends have to contact the police afterwards if you haven't messaged and something has happened!!!

That's totally pointless and adds absolutely nothing to the safety of your meet. "

You do realise that MOST women have a safety call? You’re hugely deluded if you think they don’t.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

I can understand why a woman would tell someone where they were going if they were heading to a meet...especially if it makes them feel safer

Fuck it for my first meet i was driving late at night in the pissing rain following a couple in their car on country roads

I text someone the address where I was going just in case

It made me feel safer to be honest

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"sure it's like they say, you dont know what somebody is fully like until you meet them face to face

Yes but women are still at risk. I have two friends off fab that I will give the details of any meet to. And message then after to let them know I’m ok.

Do you feel the need to do that?

Cos I do. no but I fully understand meets are more risky for women than men. let's be honest, more men can look after themselves. hope you dont ever meet a Michael Myers type lunatic ha.

LOL no not yet. Been very lucky. Met a couple of weirdos but no-one dangerous. Too long on the scene to take the risk.."

sure everyone could be nice through a screen. the amount have a different view of me here to a meet is unreal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s basic safety.

You don’t have to understand it.

It’s utterly none of your business.

Maybe stop reading my posts and picking on everything I say? Hmmmm??? It’s getting pathetic. "

Don't post on the forum then! It's an open forum, I read what I wish

It just doesn't make sense, to text after something unsavoury might have happened?? How does that make it safe?

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By *sexyoneWoman
over a year ago

Northside

Not at all

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"It’s basic safety.

You don’t have to understand it.

It’s utterly none of your business.

Maybe stop reading my posts and picking on everything I say? Hmmmm??? It’s getting pathetic.

Don't post on the forum then! It's an open forum, I read what I wish

It just doesn't make sense, to text after something unsavoury might have happened?? How does that make it safe? "

I suppose that is the risk u take meeting somebody off the net

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"I can understand why a woman would tell someone where they were going if they were heading to a meet...especially if it makes them feel safer

Fuck it for my first meet i was driving late at night in the pissing rain following a couple in their car on country roads

I text someone the address where I was going just in case

It made me feel safer to be honest"

Well there you go and good for you. Despite others on here thinking it’s ridiculous.

Honestly, men that think women are wasting their time with a safe call would be a massive red flag to me.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"I can understand why a woman would tell someone where they were going if they were heading to a meet...especially if it makes them feel safer

Fuck it for my first meet i was driving late at night in the pissing rain following a couple in their car on country roads

I text someone the address where I was going just in case

It made me feel safer to be honest

Well there you go and good for you. Despite others on here thinking it’s ridiculous.

Honestly, men that think women are wasting their time with a safe call would be a massive red flag to me. "

any female with an ass that good must get some load of mail.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s basic safety.

You don’t have to understand it.

It’s utterly none of your business.

Maybe stop reading my posts and picking on everything I say? Hmmmm??? It’s getting pathetic.

Don't post on the forum then! It's an open forum, I read what I wish

It just doesn't make sense, to text after something unsavoury might have happened?? How does that make it safe? I suppose that is the risk u take meeting somebody off the net "

That's my point exactly!!

Someone in particular doesn't grasp it but seems to think that the safety net of someone knowing where they're going and messaging afterwards will protect them.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"It’s basic safety.

You don’t have to understand it.

It’s utterly none of your business.

Maybe stop reading my posts and picking on everything I say? Hmmmm??? It’s getting pathetic.

Don't post on the forum then! It's an open forum, I read what I wish

It just doesn't make sense, to text after something unsavoury might have happened?? How does that make it safe? I suppose that is the risk u take meeting somebody off the net

That's my point exactly!!

Someone in particular doesn't grasp it but seems to think that the safety net of someone knowing where they're going and messaging afterwards will protect them.

"

This has moved on a bit from where the op started but it can't do any harm if someone uses a system can it

It might not protect you in a hotel room but it might get you help if anything bad happens while youre in there no harm

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By *elfastDMan
over a year ago

belfast


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?"

Is this why I haven’t had a meet this year?!?

Is COVID a scam by the women on here to make me not feel as bad when they tell each other to avoid me?!?

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?

Is this why I haven’t had a meet this year?!?

Is COVID a scam by the women on here to make me not feel as bad when they tell each other to avoid me?!? "

Yes its spread by the 5 G signals....the G stands for girls

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By *elfastDMan
over a year ago

belfast


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?

Is this why I haven’t had a meet this year?!?

Is COVID a scam by the women on here to make me not feel as bad when they tell each other to avoid me?!?

Yes its spread by the 5 G signals....the G stands for girls "

So those 5G masts are actually the girls grapevine?

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?

Is this why I haven’t had a meet this year?!?

Is COVID a scam by the women on here to make me not feel as bad when they tell each other to avoid me?!?

Yes its spread by the 5 G signals....the G stands for girls "

FFS!!! Sssshhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?

Is this why I haven’t had a meet this year?!?

Is COVID a scam by the women on here to make me not feel as bad when they tell each other to avoid me?!?

Yes its spread by the 5 G signals....the G stands for girls

So those 5G masts are actually the girls grapevine?"

Exactly phallic symbols every one of them

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By *elfastDMan
over a year ago

belfast


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?

Is this why I haven’t had a meet this year?!?

Is COVID a scam by the women on here to make me not feel as bad when they tell each other to avoid me?!?

Yes its spread by the 5 G signals....the G stands for girls

So those 5G masts are actually the girls grapevine?

Exactly phallic symbols every one of them "

My god, sometimes you don’t see the things right in front of you until someone points it out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can understand why a woman would tell someone where they were going if they were heading to a meet...especially if it makes them feel safer

Fuck it for my first meet i was driving late at night in the pissing rain following a couple in their car on country roads

I text someone the address where I was going just in case

It made me feel safer to be honest

Well there you go and good for you. Despite others on here thinking it’s ridiculous.

Honestly, men that think women are wasting their time with a safe call would be a massive red flag to me. "

If it’s an honest response to the OP.. think most lads would expect the women here to network a bit for safety if nothing else... any guy having a problem with that should pull his head out of his ass and get a grip..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id say its like the Song.." Girls talk "...some even mention members names to avoid on their Status sometimes..and if they feel its something that helps others in someway in warding other ladies off people they feel arent a safe meet etc well no harm in doing that ..it has to be a positive thing..

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"I can understand why a woman would tell someone where they were going if they were heading to a meet...especially if it makes them feel safer

Fuck it for my first meet i was driving late at night in the pissing rain following a couple in their car on country roads

I text someone the address where I was going just in case

It made me feel safer to be honest

Well there you go and good for you. Despite others on here thinking it’s ridiculous.

Honestly, men that think women are wasting their time with a safe call would be a massive red flag to me.

If it’s an honest response to the OP.. think most lads would expect the women here to network a bit for safety if nothing else... any guy having a problem with that should pull his head out of his ass and get a grip.. "

Massive huge red flag for women I think. A man who thinks women’s safety isn’t an issue is either particularly f*cking arrogant or someone to avoid.

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By *irdnBorisMan
over a year ago

meath


"I can understand why a woman would tell someone where they were going if they were heading to a meet...especially if it makes them feel safer

Fuck it for my first meet i was driving late at night in the pissing rain following a couple in their car on country roads

I text someone the address where I was going just in case

It made me feel safer to be honest

Well there you go and good for you. Despite others on here thinking it’s ridiculous.

Honestly, men that think women are wasting their time with a safe call would be a massive red flag to me.

If it’s an honest response to the OP.. think most lads would expect the women here to network a bit for safety if nothing else... any guy having a problem with that should pull his head out of his ass and get a grip..

Massive huge red flag for women I think. A man who thinks women’s safety isn’t an issue is either particularly f*cking arrogant or someone to avoid. "

anyone thinks that ladies safety does not matter is either thick or stupid or maybe both i think ladies have allready have it summed up about the op

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary

its a simple one. I'd say alot of women on here, if meeting a fella, tell one or 2 others on here who they're meeting. does the same apply in abundance with men? I doubt it. what I will say is, when meeting somebody you usually have others around, cafe, restaurant etc. you're not meeting down a dark secluded laneway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never said a word about the people I talk on here to anyone in or outside fab. That's only my business.

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By *urvySingleLadyWoman
over a year ago

Limerick/Galway


"its a simple one. I'd say alot of women on here, if meeting a fella, tell one or 2 others on here who they're meeting. does the same apply in abundance with men? I doubt it. what I will say is, when meeting somebody you usually have others around, cafe, restaurant etc. you're not meeting down a dark secluded laneway."

Why do you think that is? Perhaps men don’t need to tell others because it’s less likely they’ll be attacked, sexually assaulted etc.

You commented above that you think “men are able to look after themselves better”. Maybe it’s time to start looking at things from others perspectives. Maybe it’s because women are less likely to physically attack men. So instead of having that misogynistic, condescending attitude, that women aren’t able to defend themselves as well because they’re on average not as physically strong, maybe you should think about the people who actually make women feel this way and why the prospect of being physically attacked, sexually assaulted, stalked etc is a real issue for women. Because there are people doing this all the time and I can assure you that it is not the fault of the victim, regardless of their physical ability.

In relation to the “gossip” element of your question, women sharing warning signs and bad experiences with each other is not gossip. It’s a form of protection. Luckily there are many men here who understand and support that.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"its a simple one. I'd say alot of women on here, if meeting a fella, tell one or 2 others on here who they're meeting. does the same apply in abundance with men? I doubt it. what I will say is, when meeting somebody you usually have others around, cafe, restaurant etc. you're not meeting down a dark secluded laneway.

Why do you think that is? Perhaps men don’t need to tell others because it’s less likely they’ll be attacked, sexually assaulted etc.

You commented above that you think “men are able to look after themselves better”. Maybe it’s time to start looking at things from others perspectives. Maybe it’s because women are less likely to physically attack men. So instead of having that misogynistic, condescending attitude, that women aren’t able to defend themselves as well because they’re on average not as physically strong, maybe you should think about the people who actually make women feel this way and why the prospect of being physically attacked, sexually assaulted, stalked etc is a real issue for women. Because there are people doing this all the time and I can assure you that it is not the fault of the victim, regardless of their physical ability.

In relation to the “gossip” element of your question, women sharing warning signs and bad experiences with each other is not gossip. It’s a form of protection. Luckily there are many men here who understand and support that. "

my point , re meeting in cafes or restaurants. you ain't going to be sexually harassed or attacked. you have plenty of others around as protection. I would understand totally if you decided to go 2 somebody's home. at the end of the day, meeting through the net is a very risky proposition but thats known from the outset.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can understand why a woman would tell someone where they were going if they were heading to a meet...especially if it makes them feel safer

Fuck it for my first meet i was driving late at night in the pissing rain following a couple in their car on country roads

I text someone the address where I was going just in case

It made me feel safer to be honest

Well there you go and good for you. Despite others on here thinking it’s ridiculous.

Honestly, men that think women are wasting their time with a safe call would be a massive red flag to me.

If it’s an honest response to the OP.. think most lads would expect the women here to network a bit for safety if nothing else... any guy having a problem with that should pull his head out of his ass and get a grip..

Massive huge red flag for women I think. A man who thinks women’s safety isn’t an issue is either particularly f*cking arrogant or someone to avoid. "

No one is saying that!!! What but don't you get??

The point is the safety steps you have described wouldn't protect you or prevent you coming to harm if you did meet some asshole on here.

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By *urvySingleLadyWoman
over a year ago

Limerick/Galway


"its a simple one. I'd say alot of women on here, if meeting a fella, tell one or 2 others on here who they're meeting. does the same apply in abundance with men? I doubt it. what I will say is, when meeting somebody you usually have others around, cafe, restaurant etc. you're not meeting down a dark secluded laneway.

Why do you think that is? Perhaps men don’t need to tell others because it’s less likely they’ll be attacked, sexually assaulted etc.

You commented above that you think “men are able to look after themselves better”. Maybe it’s time to start looking at things from others perspectives. Maybe it’s because women are less likely to physically attack men. So instead of having that misogynistic, condescending attitude, that women aren’t able to defend themselves as well because they’re on average not as physically strong, maybe you should think about the people who actually make women feel this way and why the prospect of being physically attacked, sexually assaulted, stalked etc is a real issue for women. Because there are people doing this all the time and I can assure you that it is not the fault of the victim, regardless of their physical ability.

In relation to the “gossip” element of your question, women sharing warning signs and bad experiences with each other is not gossip. It’s a form of protection. Luckily there are many men here who understand and support that. my point , re meeting in cafes or restaurants. you ain't going to be sexually harassed or attacked. you have plenty of others around as protection. I would understand totally if you decided to go 2 somebody's home. at the end of the day, meeting through the net is a very risky proposition but thats known from the outset. "

Absolutely. It would definitely be safer to meet in a public place but attacks can still happen on a second meeting or whenever you are alone with that person, or indeed they could follow you home. The point I am trying to make is that women are not attacked because of their perceived lack of physical strength, women are attacked because there are men out there who want to attack them.

I know there are women who do the same but it’s not as prevalent. In either case, we should understand that anyone who is taking steps to ensure their own safety should be commended and supported, rather than being accused of gossiping.

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

No I don't

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By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

Some of these comments reek of the old "this issue doesnt affect me and ive no idea what its like therefore its not a problem and im going to be condescending towards you for having a different opinion"

Personally dont gossip myself. I can normally pick out the assholes handy enough

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City

I suspect most of the assholes are widely discoverable on the forums.

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By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford


"I suspect most of the assholes are widely discoverable on the forums. "

indeed

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By *urvySingleLadyWoman
over a year ago

Limerick/Galway


"I suspect most of the assholes are widely discoverable on the forums. "

Absolutely

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"I suspect most of the assholes are widely discoverable on the forums. "
I would disagree solely on women here in the past saying they got on like a house on fire with some men who they disliked on the forum. it's like I was saying yesterday. you don't know somebody properly until you meet face to face.

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By *urvySingleLadyWoman
over a year ago

Limerick/Galway


"I suspect most of the assholes are widely discoverable on the forums. I would disagree solely on women here in the past saying they got on like a house on fire with some men who they disliked on the forum. it's like I was saying yesterday. you don't know somebody properly until you meet face to face. "

I’d agree to a point. People may disagree on opinions but may be able to put that aside. Attitudes are a different story. Quite often here it’s not what someone says, but how they say it. How others dismiss people or how they treat others on a thread, that’s more difficult to ignore. So, while some could easily get past something arbitrary like who likes to put their Christmas tree up in October, they may find it more difficult to talk to someone who tends to shout at and berate someone because they choose to put their tree up early. You know what I mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"sure it's like they say, you dont know what somebody is fully like until you meet them face to face

Yes but women are still at risk. I have two friends off fab that I will give the details of any meet to. And message then after to let them know I’m ok.

Do you feel the need to do that?

Cos I do. "

Yea I feel thats the safe and wise thing to do. I would take a word of warning from someone too, i might still choose to decide for myself but I like people to look out for each other if theres a real risk. thats a sign of a respectful community

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can understand why a woman would tell someone where they were going if they were heading to a meet...especially if it makes them feel safer

Fuck it for my first meet i was driving late at night in the pissing rain following a couple in their car on country roads

I text someone the address where I was going just in case

It made me feel safer to be honest

Well there you go and good for you. Despite others on here thinking it’s ridiculous.

Honestly, men that think women are wasting their time with a safe call would be a massive red flag to me.

If it’s an honest response to the OP.. think most lads would expect the women here to network a bit for safety if nothing else... any guy having a problem with that should pull his head out of his ass and get a grip..

Massive huge red flag for women I think. A man who thinks women’s safety isn’t an issue is either particularly f*cking arrogant or someone to avoid.

No one is saying that!!! What but don't you get??

The point is the safety steps you have described wouldn't protect you or prevent you coming to harm if you did meet some asshole on here. "

Perhaps not, but it may get you out of a scary situation more quickly. It may allow help get to you if a situation you were in started to feel threatening. For example, you tell someone where you're going beforehand and the pertinent details. You may arrange to check in with them during the meet at a prearranged time. Either way, if you found yourself in a vulnerable position it's much easier to send a quick text asking for help than it would be to start explaining by text where you are, who you're with and why you're there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suspect most of the assholes are widely discoverable on the forums. "

There you go again! I'd say you're 100% wrong there!! I'd imagine the real sinister guys you need to be worried about that might attack you are very charming behind a keyboard and even to your face.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"I suspect most of the assholes are widely discoverable on the forums.

There you go again! I'd say you're 100% wrong there!! I'd imagine the real sinister guys you need to be worried about that might attack you are very charming behind a keyboard and even to your face."

Id say it's very easy to realise who the arseholes are on the forum by just the way they tell everyone what their opinion should be instead of allowing them their own

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"I suspect most of the assholes are widely discoverable on the forums.

There you go again! I'd say you're 100% wrong there!! I'd imagine the real sinister guys you need to be worried about that might attack you are very charming behind a keyboard and even to your face.

Id say it's very easy to realise who the arseholes are on the forum by just the way they tell everyone what their opinion should be instead of allowing them their own "

I’ve not been wrong yet

I’ve avoided assholes, encountered a couple of weirdos and met some absolute gems. I’ve had some of the best sex EVER with people I’ve met on fab. Clearly my asshole radar is on point!

However I’m not arrogant enough to think that won’t ever change. I’ve definitely had shit sex but I’ve also made brilliant friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suspect most of the assholes are widely discoverable on the forums.

There you go again! I'd say you're 100% wrong there!! I'd imagine the real sinister guys you need to be worried about that might attack you are very charming behind a keyboard and even to your face.

Id say it's very easy to realise who the arseholes are on the forum by just the way they tell everyone what their opinion should be instead of allowing them their own "

This is so very true. There have been some lately that have been so obnoxious in the way they have tried shouting down and berating others all because they have a different opinion to theirs.

But also I would not be nieve enough to think that someone could not have a dark dangerous side to him and be very capable of hiding it through charm and seemingly perfect persona here. No matter how we as women try to put in place steps to protect ourselves there potentially could be that one time we are unlucky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know any women on here but if I did and had a bad experience with a man then sure, I'd make her aware of any risk.... If he was super good then hell no, I'd want to keep him lolol

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"I don't know any women on here but if I did and had a bad experience with a man then sure, I'd make her aware of any risk.... If he was super good then hell no, I'd want to keep him lolol"

Ain't that the truth ...brilliant

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"I don't know any women on here but if I did and had a bad experience with a man then sure, I'd make her aware of any risk.... If he was super good then hell no, I'd want to keep him lolol"

It’s actually nice to just chat to other women on here... we’re mostly a lovely bunch!!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

There is an element of risk with every new meet and everyone should take whatever precautions necessary.

That goes for men and women alike.

Arseholes are not gender specific either here or in the wider community.

I've been a victim of my own naivety in fab and met a woman who used violence to get me to react.

I didn't and left her to it but I've no doubt some men would have reacted in a situation like that.

At the same time there have been a number of dangerous men named and shamed in the forums and in status updates so only a fool would try to argue they aren't out there.

How many threads have we seen over the years and especially in recent months about pic sharing in men's groups?

Running parallel with those we have the ladies groups that do indeed discuss men and also share pics and messages

I've never been a member of either group but enough comments have been made in the forums by women who have been in these groups and witnessed this that I've no reason to doubt them.

Based on those comments and others it's obvious that not all chat groups are specifically to protect women from dangerous men.

There are many other reasons and while I agree completely that everyone should take precautions I'm also not naive or stupid enough to believe that all those lovely personas that people have created for themselves on here are real.

Some are just a little too perfect while others have obviously been well schooled.

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"There is an element of risk with every new meet and everyone should take whatever precautions necessary.

That goes for men and women alike.

Arseholes are not gender specific either here or in the wider community.

I've been a victim of my own naivety in fab and met a woman who used violence to get me to react.

I didn't and left her to it but I've no doubt some men would have reacted in a situation like that.

At the same time there have been a number of dangerous men named and shamed in the forums and in status updates so only a fool would try to argue they aren't out there.

How many threads have we seen over the years and especially in recent months about pic sharing in men's groups?

Running parallel with those we have the ladies groups that do indeed discuss men and also share pics and messages

I've never been a member of either group but enough comments have been made in the forums by women who have been in these groups and witnessed this that I've no reason to doubt them.

Based on those comments and others it's obvious that not all chat groups are specifically to protect women from dangerous men.

There are many other reasons and while I agree completely that everyone should take precautions I'm also not naive or stupid enough to believe that all those lovely personas that people have created for themselves on here are real.

Some are just a little too perfect while others have obviously been well schooled.

"

I think the point is that we have to make up our own minds about someone but warnings about dodgy fuckers (of both genders) won’t go unappreciated.

Also sharing pics is sickening and scary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is an element of risk with every new meet and everyone should take whatever precautions necessary.

That goes for men and women alike.

Arseholes are not gender specific either here or in the wider community.

I've been a victim of my own naivety in fab and met a woman who used violence to get me to react.

I didn't and left her to it but I've no doubt some men would have reacted in a situation like that.

At the same time there have been a number of dangerous men named and shamed in the forums and in status updates so only a fool would try to argue they aren't out there.

How many threads have we seen over the years and especially in recent months about pic sharing in men's groups?

Running parallel with those we have the ladies groups that do indeed discuss men and also share pics and messages

I've never been a member of either group but enough comments have been made in the forums by women who have been in these groups and witnessed this that I've no reason to doubt them.

Based on those comments and others it's obvious that not all chat groups are specifically to protect women from dangerous men.

There are many other reasons and while I agree completely that everyone should take precautions I'm also not naive or stupid enough to believe that all those lovely personas that people have created for themselves on here are real.

Some are just a little too perfect while others have obviously been well schooled.

"

I don't know about now but I do know that pic sharing of both men and women was rife here by certain people at one stage especially face pictures. It's one of the reasons you will never see us enter one of those face pic Friday threads or the send a picture to the poster above threads.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary

having an opinion and disagreeing with others is not shouting them down. if you have a view on something and a debate/disagreement ensues you're going to keep highlighting your point. do I think women solely talk with others on here due to a safety reason? not at all. do I judge people through a screen? not at all. the only face I'll judge a person on is a face to face meeting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is an element of risk with every new meet and everyone should take whatever precautions necessary.

That goes for men and women alike.

Arseholes are not gender specific either here or in the wider community.

I've been a victim of my own naivety in fab and met a woman who used violence to get me to react.

I didn't and left her to it but I've no doubt some men would have reacted in a situation like that.

At the same time there have been a number of dangerous men named and shamed in the forums and in status updates so only a fool would try to argue they aren't out there.

How many threads have we seen over the years and especially in recent months about pic sharing in men's groups?

Running parallel with those we have the ladies groups that do indeed discuss men and also share pics and messages

I've never been a member of either group but enough comments have been made in the forums by women who have been in these groups and witnessed this that I've no reason to doubt them.

Based on those comments and others it's obvious that not all chat groups are specifically to protect women from dangerous men.

There are many other reasons and while I agree completely that everyone should take precautions I'm also not naive or stupid enough to believe that all those lovely personas that people have created for themselves on here are real.

Some are just a little too perfect while others have obviously been well schooled.

I don't know about now but I do know that pic sharing of both men and women was rife here by certain people at one stage especially face pictures. It's one of the reasons you will never see us enter one of those face pic Friday threads or the send a picture to the poster above threads. "

Same reason I don't do the face pic Friday thread anymore.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"There is an element of risk with every new meet and everyone should take whatever precautions necessary.

That goes for men and women alike.

Arseholes are not gender specific either here or in the wider community.

I've been a victim of my own naivety in fab and met a woman who used violence to get me to react.

I didn't and left her to it but I've no doubt some men would have reacted in a situation like that.

At the same time there have been a number of dangerous men named and shamed in the forums and in status updates so only a fool would try to argue they aren't out there.

How many threads have we seen over the years and especially in recent months about pic sharing in men's groups?

Running parallel with those we have the ladies groups that do indeed discuss men and also share pics and messages

I've never been a member of either group but enough comments have been made in the forums by women who have been in these groups and witnessed this that I've no reason to doubt them.

Based on those comments and others it's obvious that not all chat groups are specifically to protect women from dangerous men.

There are many other reasons and while I agree completely that everyone should take precautions I'm also not naive or stupid enough to believe that all those lovely personas that people have created for themselves on here are real.

Some are just a little too perfect while others have obviously been well schooled.

I don't know about now but I do know that pic sharing of both men and women was rife here by certain people at one stage especially face pictures. It's one of the reasons you will never see us enter one of those face pic Friday threads or the send a picture to the poster above threads.

Same reason I don't do the face pic Friday thread anymore. "

I stopped doing them months ago for the same reasons.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary

just shows you what can actually happen when you're on these type of sites. still though, I couldn't meet somebody without seen what they looked like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"having an opinion and disagreeing with others is not shouting them down. if you have a view on something and a debate/disagreement ensues you're going to keep highlighting your point. do I think women solely talk with others on here due to a safety reason? not at all. do I judge people through a screen? not at all. the only face I'll judge a person on is a face to face meeting "

No don't you know that when you can't debate your point of view and there are clear flaws in it you change tact and openly accuse those who have an alternative point of view of shouting you down!!

It's the first rule or debate school and the irish forum!! And it's an epic fail.

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By *herieWoman
over a year ago

The Burbs

Nope, I never kiss n tell. Its private what you do and who you do it with..well other than the verifications ooops lol

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"having an opinion and disagreeing with others is not shouting them down. if you have a view on something and a debate/disagreement ensues you're going to keep highlighting your point. do I think women solely talk with others on here due to a safety reason? not at all. do I judge people through a screen? not at all. the only face I'll judge a person on is a face to face meeting

No don't you know that when you can't debate your point of view and there are clear flaws in it you change tact and openly accuse those who have an alternative point of view of shouting you down!!

It's the first rule or debate school and the irish forum!! And it's an epic fail. "

if there is an "against the grain" comment on here, some loose their shit. dont get me started on the doormat men either. they'd be afraid to say boo to a female on here. of course it might diminish their chances of getting the willy wet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s the issue with women sharing information on some guys on Fab?

If it’s a safety issue especially!

Also If some women share something about a meet -good / bad, indifferent- what’s the problem?

Badmouthing guys unfairly however isn’t nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What’s the issue with women sharing information on some guys on Fab?

If it’s a safety issue especially!

Also If some women share something about a meet -good / bad, indifferent- what’s the problem?

Badmouthing guys unfairly however isn’t nice."

I think sharing guys face pics isn't either. Which is what my origional post was about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a chat with someone lately who told me about a family member that had been married for years and when she finally admitted what torture he had out her through for years everyone was stunned and shocked. And I have a friend who was with a guy years when they broke up and she admitted what had gone on and shown me the text messages he had sent her I was shocked. People men and women can put on a good front and be seen as the nicest people going but can be the exact opposite.

Women gossip/men gossip in life I've seen it first hand having worked in various jobs but women or men on here giving a bit of advice or saying don't meet such and such I wouldn't consider it gossip I would hope that 99% of the time it was genuinely given. Not to long ago guys were warned off me on a thread obviously someone had talked about me, it bothered me at the time, now it doesn't as nasty talk and putting someone down maliciously says more about that person.

I don't partake in the pic threads anymore and I'm conscious of who I share pics with, I had one guy send my pics back to me threatening to share them with family and my work colleagues, I would have been grateful of anyone man or woman warning me about him.

As for safety I tell a friend where I'm going and who I'm meeting, if I get to take a pic of his car reg I do that too. It might not stop me been attacked etc but I make sure I tell the guy I'm meeting, a friend knows where I am.

Oh and I will admit to blocking a guy because of something on the forums but was in a chat group with him since and now he his in my friends list and we will grab a coffee at some stage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Re:

had a chat with someone lately who told me about a family member that had been married for years and when she finally admitted what torture he had out her through for years everyone was stunned and shocked. And I have a friend who was with a guy years when they broke up and she admitted what had gone on and shown me the text messages he had sent her I was shocked.

I’m a little confused on the above ? - whats the connection between the 2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Re:

had a chat with someone lately who told me about a family member that had been married for years and when she finally admitted what torture he had out her through for years everyone was stunned and shocked. And I have a friend who was with a guy years when they broke up and she admitted what had gone on and shown me the text messages he had sent her I was shocked.

I’m a little confused on the above ? - whats the connection between the 2 "

That people can fool people and be the nicest person going, nobody sees the real person and especially hard to tell or read a person behind a keyboard. Somebody above posted that can easily spot the bad ones which I don't think is always true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Re:

had a chat with someone lately who told me about a family member that had been married for years and when she finally admitted what torture he had out her through for years everyone was stunned and shocked. And I have a friend who was with a guy years when they broke up and she admitted what had gone on and shown me the text messages he had sent her I was shocked.

I’m a little confused on the above ? - whats the connection between the 2

That people can fool people and be the nicest person going, nobody sees the real person and especially hard to tell or read a person behind a keyboard. Somebody above posted that can easily spot the bad ones which I don't think is always true"

Agreed and with the nature of Fab, you may really never get to know the real person.

Unless you start something together!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Re:

had a chat with someone lately who told me about a family member that had been married for years and when she finally admitted what torture he had out her through for years everyone was stunned and shocked. And I have a friend who was with a guy years when they broke up and she admitted what had gone on and shown me the text messages he had sent her I was shocked.

I’m a little confused on the above ? - whats the connection between the 2

That people can fool people and be the nicest person going, nobody sees the real person and especially hard to tell or read a person behind a keyboard. Somebody above posted that can easily spot the bad ones which I don't think is always true

Agreed and with the nature of Fab, you may really never get to know the real person.

Unless you start something together!! "

Thankfully I've met men and women here who I call friends and always will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Re:

had a chat with someone lately who told me about a family member that had been married for years and when she finally admitted what torture he had out her through for years everyone was stunned and shocked. And I have a friend who was with a guy years when they broke up and she admitted what had gone on and shown me the text messages he had sent her I was shocked.

I’m a little confused on the above ? - whats the connection between the 2

That people can fool people and be the nicest person going, nobody sees the real person and especially hard to tell or read a person behind a keyboard. Somebody above posted that can easily spot the bad ones which I don't think is always true"

I made that point too. It was lost as someone who was on a personal crusade.

It's notorious of domestic abusers, rapists and serial killers getting their victims onside.

But try pointing out well known facts on here at odds with someone's anecdotal opinion and you get accused of shouting them down before the equally ignorant cavalry arrive.

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By *herieWoman
over a year ago

The Burbs


"What’s the issue with women sharing information on some guys on Fab?

If it’s a safety issue especially!

Also If some women share something about a meet -good / bad, indifferent- what’s the problem?

Badmouthing guys unfairly however isn’t nice."

I would totally 100% agree with the safety aspect if a guy was violent or aggressive (been there) but purely only giving a heads up for that not gossiping/bragging etc..

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By *urvySingleLadyWoman
over a year ago

Limerick/Galway


"Re:

had a chat with someone lately who told me about a family member that had been married for years and when she finally admitted what torture he had out her through for years everyone was stunned and shocked. And I have a friend who was with a guy years when they broke up and she admitted what had gone on and shown me the text messages he had sent her I was shocked.

I’m a little confused on the above ? - whats the connection between the 2

That people can fool people and be the nicest person going, nobody sees the real person and especially hard to tell or read a person behind a keyboard. Somebody above posted that can easily spot the bad ones which I don't think is always true

I made that point too. It was lost as someone who was on a personal crusade.

It's notorious of domestic abusers, rapists and serial killers getting their victims onside.

But try pointing out well known facts on here at odds with someone's anecdotal opinion and you get accused of shouting them down before the equally ignorant cavalry arrive. "

You think the cavalry are ignorant? Maybe you should consider what the common denominator is in all your interactions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have warned other women here of stalkers, liars ,consent violators weirdos, fuckers who stiff you for the cost of the hotel room ,virgins who have no business pretending they are experienced swingers and all manner of dangerous assholes I have encountered here. I see it as a community service any girl I've given info to has thanked me., call it gossip if you like it keeps women safer.

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"I have warned other women here of stalkers, liars ,consent violators weirdos, fuckers who stiff you for the cost of the hotel room ,virgins who have no business pretending they are experienced swingers and all manner of dangerous assholes I have encountered here. I see it as a community service any girl I've given info to has thanked me., call it gossip if you like it keeps women safer. "

I like you

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary

at the end of the day, if a woman is meeting a man on here in a cafe, pub, restaurant, home house, wherever and a woman is told on here who she is meeting and where. it does absolutely nothing for your safety at that moment in time or else I'm missing something.

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"at the end of the day, if a woman is meeting a man on here in a cafe, pub, restaurant, home house, wherever and a woman is told on here who she is meeting and where. it does absolutely nothing for your safety at that moment in time or else I'm missing something. "

So do you think women shouldn’t bother meeting at all??

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"at the end of the day, if a woman is meeting a man on here in a cafe, pub, restaurant, home house, wherever and a woman is told on here who she is meeting and where. it does absolutely nothing for your safety at that moment in time or else I'm missing something.

So do you think women shouldn’t bother meeting at all?? "

I think they should but I dont see what telling somebody else will do for your safety. you meet a man, you have told somebody else. he decides to give you a hiding, you're now destroyed. what can the other person do for you?

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By *urvySingleLadyWoman
over a year ago

Limerick/Galway


"at the end of the day, if a woman is meeting a man on here in a cafe, pub, restaurant, home house, wherever and a woman is told on here who she is meeting and where. it does absolutely nothing for your safety at that moment in time or else I'm missing something.

So do you think women shouldn’t bother meeting at all?? I think they should but I dont see what telling somebody else will do for your safety. you meet a man, you have told somebody else. he decides to give you a hiding, you're now destroyed. what can the other person do for you? "

So you go to a bar, meet a man. After 15 minutes you say “oh, I better text my friend. I told her I’d let her know that it’s going okay”. He then knows that someone knows where you are and potentially who you’re with. That could deter him (or her) if they’re that way inclined from going ahead with any weird plan they may have had.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"at the end of the day, if a woman is meeting a man on here in a cafe, pub, restaurant, home house, wherever and a woman is told on here who she is meeting and where. it does absolutely nothing for your safety at that moment in time or else I'm missing something.

So do you think women shouldn’t bother meeting at all?? I think they should but I dont see what telling somebody else will do for your safety. you meet a man, you have told somebody else. he decides to give you a hiding, you're now destroyed. what can the other person do for you?

So you go to a bar, meet a man. After 15 minutes you say “oh, I better text my friend. I told her I’d let her know that it’s going okay”. He then knows that someone knows where you are and potentially who you’re with. That could deter him (or her) if they’re that way inclined from going ahead with any weird plan they may have had. "

he might continue on or play the long game, who knows. he might also make his excuses and leave. there is all diff permutations.what I'm really saying is anyone who meets anyone on the net is taking a risk. its online dating/meet ups after all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ladies, do ye gossip much to one another here in private about men?"

I'm pretty sure they do, I have been meeting one firey lady on here and another had been chatting to me, turns out they have been comparing notes.. I think one said to the other to stay away from me she's kept me all for herself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"at the end of the day, if a woman is meeting a man on here in a cafe, pub, restaurant, home house, wherever and a woman is told on here who she is meeting and where. it does absolutely nothing for your safety at that moment in time or else I'm missing something.

So do you think women shouldn’t bother meeting at all?? I think they should but I dont see what telling somebody else will do for your safety. you meet a man, you have told somebody else. he decides to give you a hiding, you're now destroyed. what can the other person do for you?

So you go to a bar, meet a man. After 15 minutes you say “oh, I better text my friend. I told her I’d let her know that it’s going okay”. He then knows that someone knows where you are and potentially who you’re with. That could deter him (or her) if they’re that way inclined from going ahead with any weird plan they may have had. he might continue on or play the long game, who knows. he might also make his excuses and leave. there is all diff permutations.what I'm really saying is anyone who meets anyone on the net is taking a risk. its online dating/meet ups after all. "

Same can be said for meeting someone on a night out. But noone should have to feel that they need to let people know where they are or who they meeting but unfortunately thats part of been a woman, its a chance we all take.

But your original question was about gossiping, and I'm sure both women and men on here do it.

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By *urvySingleLadyWoman
over a year ago

Limerick/Galway


"at the end of the day, if a woman is meeting a man on here in a cafe, pub, restaurant, home house, wherever and a woman is told on here who she is meeting and where. it does absolutely nothing for your safety at that moment in time or else I'm missing something.

So do you think women shouldn’t bother meeting at all?? I think they should but I dont see what telling somebody else will do for your safety. you meet a man, you have told somebody else. he decides to give you a hiding, you're now destroyed. what can the other person do for you?

So you go to a bar, meet a man. After 15 minutes you say “oh, I better text my friend. I told her I’d let her know that it’s going okay”. He then knows that someone knows where you are and potentially who you’re with. That could deter him (or her) if they’re that way inclined from going ahead with any weird plan they may have had. he might continue on or play the long game, who knows. he might also make his excuses and leave. there is all diff permutations.what I'm really saying is anyone who meets anyone on the net is taking a risk. its online dating/meet ups after all. "

Absolutely. It’s not guaranteed but it’s a way that can help people in some instances and if it makes people feel safer then it’s worth doing. Better doing something than doing nothing.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"at the end of the day, if a woman is meeting a man on here in a cafe, pub, restaurant, home house, wherever and a woman is told on here who she is meeting and where. it does absolutely nothing for your safety at that moment in time or else I'm missing something.

So do you think women shouldn’t bother meeting at all?? I think they should but I dont see what telling somebody else will do for your safety. you meet a man, you have told somebody else. he decides to give you a hiding, you're now destroyed. what can the other person do for you?

So you go to a bar, meet a man. After 15 minutes you say “oh, I better text my friend. I told her I’d let her know that it’s going okay”. He then knows that someone knows where you are and potentially who you’re with. That could deter him (or her) if they’re that way inclined from going ahead with any weird plan they may have had. he might continue on or play the long game, who knows. he might also make his excuses and leave. there is all diff permutations.what I'm really saying is anyone who meets anyone on the net is taking a risk. its online dating/meet ups after all.

Same can be said for meeting someone on a night out. But noone should have to feel that they need to let people know where they are or who they meeting but unfortunately thats part of been a woman, its a chance we all take.

But your original question was about gossiping, and I'm sure both women and men on here do it. "

absolutely diff fab users are spoken about in private mail. I'd say there are alot more women "friends" on here then men though.

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"at the end of the day, if a woman is meeting a man on here in a cafe, pub, restaurant, home house, wherever and a woman is told on here who she is meeting and where. it does absolutely nothing for your safety at that moment in time or else I'm missing something.

So do you think women shouldn’t bother meeting at all?? I think they should but I dont see what telling somebody else will do for your safety. you meet a man, you have told somebody else. he decides to give you a hiding, you're now destroyed. what can the other person do for you? "

You’re really selling yourself

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"at the end of the day, if a woman is meeting a man on here in a cafe, pub, restaurant, home house, wherever and a woman is told on here who she is meeting and where. it does absolutely nothing for your safety at that moment in time or else I'm missing something.

So do you think women shouldn’t bother meeting at all?? I think they should but I dont see what telling somebody else will do for your safety. you meet a man, you have told somebody else. he decides to give you a hiding, you're now destroyed. what can the other person do for you?

You’re really selling yourself "

I'm not trying too. I'm just giving a situation which could happen. I hope it never does to any woman but there are weirdos out there who roam sites at will and we all know it.

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By *arc 999Man
over a year ago

Tyrone

Ha ha I would not think so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Re:

had a chat with someone lately who told me about a family member that had been married for years and when she finally admitted what torture he had out her through for years everyone was stunned and shocked. And I have a friend who was with a guy years when they broke up and she admitted what had gone on and shown me the text messages he had sent her I was shocked.

I’m a little confused on the above ? - whats the connection between the 2

That people can fool people and be the nicest person going, nobody sees the real person and especially hard to tell or read a person behind a keyboard. Somebody above posted that can easily spot the bad ones which I don't think is always true

I made that point too. It was lost as someone who was on a personal crusade.

It's notorious of domestic abusers, rapists and serial killers getting their victims onside.

But try pointing out well known facts on here at odds with someone's anecdotal opinion and you get accused of shouting them down before the equally ignorant cavalry arrive.

You think the cavalry are ignorant? Maybe you should consider what the common denominator is in all your interactions. "

Or what the common goal is with the cavalry? To try to look good on here in an attempt to be popular and get laid at the expense of actually recognising facts. It's like the playground in primary school, backing up your friends even though you know they're wrong.

I thought the forum was a place where we could engage in adult discussion. The points I've made has been based on facts and they've been dismissed as they don't suit or comply with what certain other individuals have posted.

Now what were we saying about personalities hiding behind keyboards again and not showing their true selves....?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"at the end of the day, if a woman is meeting a man on here in a cafe, pub, restaurant, home house, wherever and a woman is told on here who she is meeting and where. it does absolutely nothing for your safety at that moment in time or else I'm missing something.

So do you think women shouldn’t bother meeting at all?? I think they should but I dont see what telling somebody else will do for your safety. you meet a man, you have told somebody else. he decides to give you a hiding, you're now destroyed. what can the other person do for you? "

The lady speaks with ladies that guy has already met previously if possible to see if he is all he says he is so she feels safer in that knowledge as well so as to meet or not.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwilly OP   Man
over a year ago

Tipperary


"at the end of the day, if a woman is meeting a man on here in a cafe, pub, restaurant, home house, wherever and a woman is told on here who she is meeting and where. it does absolutely nothing for your safety at that moment in time or else I'm missing something.

So do you think women shouldn’t bother meeting at all?? I think they should but I dont see what telling somebody else will do for your safety. you meet a man, you have told somebody else. he decides to give you a hiding, you're now destroyed. what can the other person do for you?

The lady speaks with ladies that guy has already met previously if possible to see if he is all he says he is so she feels safer in that knowledge as well so as to meet or not."

I have also witnessed people say in the past, that's a reason they dont display veris as they were getting mail off individuals asking what so and so was like before they met the same person. that doesnt make sense though as there would be no veri if a fella was in some way not normal.

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

[Removed by poster at 01/12/20 10:15:06]

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"at the end of the day, if a woman is meeting a man on here in a cafe, pub, restaurant, home house, wherever and a woman is told on here who she is meeting and where. it does absolutely nothing for your safety at that moment in time or else I'm missing something.

So do you think women shouldn’t bother meeting at all?? I think they should but I dont see what telling somebody else will do for your safety. you meet a man, you have told somebody else. he decides to give you a hiding, you're now destroyed. what can the other person do for you?

The lady speaks with ladies that guy has already met previously if possible to see if he is all he says he is so she feels safer in that knowledge as well so as to meet or not. I have also witnessed people say in the past, that's a reason they dont display veris as they were getting mail off individuals asking what so and so was like before they met the same person. that doesnt make sense though as there would be no veri if a fella was in some way not normal. "

Some people bully women into leaving them veris.

Fact. Actually happened to me more than once (obviously I'm talking about people I've met, not random online requests)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Re:

had a chat with someone lately who told me about a family member that had been married for years and when she finally admitted what torture he had out her through for years everyone was stunned and shocked. And I have a friend who was with a guy years when they broke up and she admitted what had gone on and shown me the text messages he had sent her I was shocked.

I’m a little confused on the above ? - whats the connection between the 2

That people can fool people and be the nicest person going, nobody sees the real person and especially hard to tell or read a person behind a keyboard. Somebody above posted that can easily spot the bad ones which I don't think is always true

I made that point too. It was lost as someone who was on a personal crusade.

It's notorious of domestic abusers, rapists and serial killers getting their victims onside.

But try pointing out well known facts on here at odds with someone's anecdotal opinion and you get accused of shouting them down before the equally ignorant cavalry arrive.

You think the cavalry are ignorant? Maybe you should consider what the common denominator is in all your interactions.

Or what the common goal is with the cavalry? To try to look good on here in an attempt to be popular and get laid at the expense of actually recognising facts. It's like the playground in primary school, backing up your friends even though you know they're wrong.

I thought the forum was a place where we could engage in adult discussion. The points I've made has been based on facts and they've been dismissed as they don't suit or comply with what certain other individuals have posted.

Now what were we saying about personalities hiding behind keyboards again and not showing their true selves....? "

Yet you've completely ignored my response as to why there is an advantage to leaving contact details with someone. Maybe you didn't deem it worthy of a response, choosing to carry out your own tirade instead. That's cool. I've no friends to back up. No agenda. I'm not beholden to anyone or trying to curry favour in order to get the ride. I simply offered another aspect which you've chosen to disregard whilst lambasting others for doing exactly the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Re:

had a chat with someone lately who told me about a family member that had been married for years and when she finally admitted what torture he had out her through for years everyone was stunned and shocked. And I have a friend who was with a guy years when they broke up and she admitted what had gone on and shown me the text messages he had sent her I was shocked.

I’m a little confused on the above ? - whats the connection between the 2

That people can fool people and be the nicest person going, nobody sees the real person and especially hard to tell or read a person behind a keyboard. Somebody above posted that can easily spot the bad ones which I don't think is always true

I made that point too. It was lost as someone who was on a personal crusade.

It's notorious of domestic abusers, rapists and serial killers getting their victims onside.

But try pointing out well known facts on here at odds with someone's anecdotal opinion and you get accused of shouting them down before the equally ignorant cavalry arrive.

You think the cavalry are ignorant? Maybe you should consider what the common denominator is in all your interactions.

Or what the common goal is with the cavalry? To try to look good on here in an attempt to be popular and get laid at the expense of actually recognising facts. It's like the playground in primary school, backing up your friends even though you know they're wrong.

I thought the forum was a place where we could engage in adult discussion. The points I've made has been based on facts and they've been dismissed as they don't suit or comply with what certain other individuals have posted.

Now what were we saying about personalities hiding behind keyboards again and not showing their true selves....?

Yet you've completely ignored my response as to why there is an advantage to leaving contact details with someone. Maybe you didn't deem it worthy of a response, choosing to carry out you own tirade instead. That's cool. I've no friends to back up. No agenda. I'm not beholden to anyone or trying to curry favour in order to get the ride. I simply offered another aspect which you've chosen to disregard whilst lambasting others for doing exactly the same"

Where did I ignore it?? Not once did I ignore it. All I said was that leaving contact details with someone or telling someone where you'll be does not prevent you coming to any harm in the presence of an asshole who may be that way inclined.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Re:

had a chat with someone lately who told me about a family member that had been married for years and when she finally admitted what torture he had out her through for years everyone was stunned and shocked. And I have a friend who was with a guy years when they broke up and she admitted what had gone on and shown me the text messages he had sent her I was shocked.

I’m a little confused on the above ? - whats the connection between the 2

That people can fool people and be the nicest person going, nobody sees the real person and especially hard to tell or read a person behind a keyboard. Somebody above posted that can easily spot the bad ones which I don't think is always true

I made that point too. It was lost as someone who was on a personal crusade.

It's notorious of domestic abusers, rapists and serial killers getting their victims onside.

But try pointing out well known facts on here at odds with someone's anecdotal opinion and you get accused of shouting them down before the equally ignorant cavalry arrive.

You think the cavalry are ignorant? Maybe you should consider what the common denominator is in all your interactions.

Or what the common goal is with the cavalry? To try to look good on here in an attempt to be popular and get laid at the expense of actually recognising facts. It's like the playground in primary school, backing up your friends even though you know they're wrong.

I thought the forum was a place where we could engage in adult discussion. The points I've made has been based on facts and they've been dismissed as they don't suit or comply with what certain other individuals have posted.

Now what were we saying about personalities hiding behind keyboards again and not showing their true selves....?

Yet you've completely ignored my response as to why there is an advantage to leaving contact details with someone. Maybe you didn't deem it worthy of a response, choosing to carry out you own tirade instead. That's cool. I've no friends to back up. No agenda. I'm not beholden to anyone or trying to curry favour in order to get the ride. I simply offered another aspect which you've chosen to disregard whilst lambasting others for doing exactly the same

Where did I ignore it?? Not once did I ignore it. All I said was that leaving contact details with someone or telling someone where you'll be does not prevent you coming to any harm in the presence of an asshole who may be that way inclined. "

*sigh* I give up

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