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"I used to think ribbed condoms meant they tasted like ribs.. Is that stupid enough? " I presume they just taste vile like an ordinary condom .... | |||
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"After making my morning cup of tea I put the kettle in the fridge instead of the milk " Did you try to plug in the milk | |||
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"I always turn the switch off for the oven at wall. Obviously had turned it off one night but had left the grill on. Turned on switch turned on the oven to heat, went and had a quick shower, noticed a burning smell when got out of shower. Down to the kitchen wrapped in a towel, open grill door to find the grill tray on fire, quickly opened back door and grabbed a wet cloth grabbed the grill tray which is on fire run out the back door and throw it on the ground. In the meantime the towel I WAS wearing is on the kitchen floor. Starkers in the back garden " Ha ha ...no harm...hope the neighbours enjoyed the view | |||
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"Years ago at home my mam told me to put on the dishwasher. Couldn't find any tablets so half a bottle of wash up liquid f**ked into it. First lil mini foam party there in me kitchen " Came downstairs one morning to see the same thing after my daughter put it in the tablet dispenser | |||
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"Came home from the pub one Xmas eve and thought I'd help my mum out by sticking the turkey in the in the oven at full power. When she landed down the next morning you could say it was well done ya could of kicked football with it. lol " Was any of it edible or was it chicken for dinner | |||
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"Hmmm I got married once. " Lmao... Yea i did that one too | |||
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"I used to think ribbed condoms meant they tasted like ribs.. Is that stupid enough? I presume they just taste vile like an ordinary condom ...." Disgusting.. I stick to strawberry now | |||
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"I used to think ribbed condoms meant they tasted like ribs.. Is that stupid enough? I presume they just taste vile like an ordinary condom .... Disgusting.. I stick to strawberry now " I've asked my " mate " to make cheese and onion ones | |||
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"I forgot to send my bank details to that really nice prince so now im poor instead of being mega rich" I get his emails in work every day I have the bank details of The Iona Institute saved and give him those details a the time....i wonder what he does with them | |||
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"I used to think ribbed condoms meant they tasted like ribs.. Is that stupid enough? I presume they just taste vile like an ordinary condom .... Disgusting.. I stick to strawberry now I've asked my " mate " to make cheese and onion ones " Gobble gobble | |||
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"My first and only parking fine was because I parked my car in front of a police station on a car park that was clearly marked with 'Polizei' on the ground. " I'm guessing that means Police .... | |||
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"My first and only parking fine was because I parked my car in front of a police station on a car park that was clearly marked with 'Polizei' on the ground. I'm guessing that means Police .... " Yes, I went into the police station and tried to talk my way out of it but police officer Müller wouldn't hear any of it and my whole blondeness I threw at him didn't impress at all. | |||
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"My first and only parking fine was because I parked my car in front of a police station on a car park that was clearly marked with 'Polizei' on the ground. I'm guessing that means Police .... Yes, I went into the police station and tried to talk my way out of it but police officer Müller wouldn't hear any of it and my whole blondeness I threw at him didn't impress at all. " DH doing blondeness? Wouldn't come natural methinks L | |||
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"My first and only parking fine was because I parked my car in front of a police station on a car park that was clearly marked with 'Polizei' on the ground. " Nice Aran jumper Doghunter Did you have this before Taylor Swift #wheresmejumper | |||
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"Way back when while mouldy d*unk, I inserted my ATM card into the slot where the receipts come out" Did it come back out | |||
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"Bought a tube of Nair cream about 10 or 12 years ago on holiday in the States and used it on my shoulders and upper back. Brought the partial tube home and a few months later used it a second time without realising it was out of date. Followed the instructions to the letter but long story short ended up with second degree burns. " Ouch! At least it wasn't your balls | |||
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"Way back when while mouldy d*unk, I inserted my ATM card into the slot where the receipts come out Did it come back out " No. It only dawned on me the next day what I'd done and had to go back to the pub and tell the staff, with a hint of embarrassment. They opened up the machine and I got my card back. It was in Australia where all the pubs had ATMs in them | |||
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"Way back when while mouldy d*unk, I inserted my ATM card into the slot where the receipts come out Did it come back out No. It only dawned on me the next day what I'd done and had to go back to the pub and tell the staff, with a hint of embarrassment. They opened up the machine and I got my card back. It was in Australia where all the pubs had ATMs in them " My local had an atm in it when i was growing up.....we used to call it drink-link | |||
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"I occasionally lose my car keys and sometimes have found them in the fridge " How does that happen? | |||
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"Way back when while mouldy d*unk, I inserted my ATM card into the slot where the receipts come out Did it come back out No. It only dawned on me the next day what I'd done and had to go back to the pub and tell the staff, with a hint of embarrassment. They opened up the machine and I got my card back. It was in Australia where all the pubs had ATMs in them My local had an atm in it when i was growing up.....we used to call it drink-link " | |||
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"I occasionally lose my car keys and sometimes have found them in the fridge How does that happen? " I just don't know. Its a mystery | |||
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"I occasionally lose my car keys and sometimes have found them in the fridge " Have you put the butter into the car | |||
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"Went to a house party one night when leaving I used my phone as a torch just as I was nearing my house a thought I lost my phone (I was a bit d*unk) so I retracted my steps looking for the phone just as I got back to the house party I realised it was in my hand the whole time " Brilliant and definitely something I could see myself doing...without being that d*unk even | |||
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"I occasionally lose my car keys and sometimes have found them in the fridge How does that happen? I just don't know. Its a mystery " A few weeks ago after coming home from a night shift I put my phone down so I could look for my phone. Me and night shifts don't jive | |||
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"Went to a house party one night when leaving I used my phone as a torch just as I was nearing my house a thought I lost my phone (I was a bit d*unk) so I retracted my steps looking for the phone just as I got back to the house party I realised it was in my hand the whole time Brilliant and definitely something I could see myself doing...without being that d*unk even " this | |||
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"I came out of the gym one morning, I'd been in early, 6am and the carpark was still pretty empty, jumped in the car went to take off and realised I had a flat tyre, it was a slow puncture that I'd already reinflated a couple of times, so I grabbed the electric pump from the boot, plugged it into the cigerette lighter socket, hooked it up to the tyre.. After about 30secs I thought "here, I'll run back in a grab a protein bar while I wait.." Ran in grabbed the bar, came back out.. Car gone.. I called the cops and told them some bastard had nicked my wheels!! Turns out, I'd forgot to put the handbrake on, when the tyre reinflated it toddled off down the thankfully empty carpark, over the kerb and down a bank into a ditch, fucking write off " You win without a shadow of a doubt Did the cops turn up and find it or did you find it first | |||
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"I came out of the gym one morning, I'd been in early, 6am and the carpark was still pretty empty, jumped in the car went to take off and realised I had a flat tyre, it was a slow puncture that I'd already reinflated a couple of times, so I grabbed the electric pump from the boot, plugged it into the cigerette lighter socket, hooked it up to the tyre.. After about 30secs I thought "here, I'll run back in a grab a protein bar while I wait.." Ran in grabbed the bar, came back out.. Car gone.. I called the cops and told them some bastard had nicked my wheels!! Turns out, I'd forgot to put the handbrake on, when the tyre reinflated it toddled off down the thankfully empty carpark, over the kerb and down a bank into a ditch, fucking write off You win without a shadow of a doubt Did the cops turn up and find it or did you find it first " Lad that owns the gym found it, I had to call the cops and tell them, to his credit he managed not to laugh, we'll at least until I hung up anyway | |||
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"Never masturbate after chopping chillies! Certainly redefines ' hot solo play'!!!!" Funny enough they only ever mention "don't touch your eyes " on the packaging | |||
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"Never masturbate after chopping chillies! Certainly redefines ' hot solo play'!!!!" Must have burned the balls off you? | |||
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"Never masturbate after chopping chillies! Certainly redefines ' hot solo play'!!!! Must have burned the balls off you? " Well I'm female so NO balls were affected!! But as Johnny Cash once said " the flames got higher and higher!!" | |||
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"I used to think ribbed condoms meant they tasted like ribs.. Is that stupid enough? " Well i definitely spat my tea out reading this fuckimg hilarious lol | |||
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"I used to think ribbed condoms meant they tasted like ribs.. Is that stupid enough? " Now that is stupid Dizzie | |||
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"Wrote a certain text to send to a certain someone but the certain text didnt get to the certain someone twas intended for..if ya catch my drift ....GULP !!!" Intrigued. .. in 1989 guy sent a letter to me but was for his gf and vice versa!!fucking explain yourself! Shit! | |||
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"Wrote a certain text to send to a certain someone but the certain text didnt get to the certain someone twas intended for..if ya catch my drift ....GULP !!! Intrigued. .. in 1989 guy sent a letter to me but was for his gf and vice versa!!fucking explain yourself! Shit!" So ..the vice versa bit...how did that work ?...who sent the other letter to who and who got it instead ?? | |||
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"Wrote a certain text to send to a certain someone but the certain text didnt get to the certain someone twas intended for..if ya catch my drift ....GULP !!! Intrigued. .. in 1989 guy sent a letter to me but was for his gf and vice versa!!fucking explain yourself! Shit! So ..the vice versa bit...how did that work ?...who sent the other letter to who and who got it instead ?? " My ex guy sent his NEW gf letter but it was for ME and I got the letter for her! | |||
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"Wrote a certain text to send to a certain someone but the certain text didnt get to the certain someone twas intended for..if ya catch my drift ....GULP !!! Intrigued. .. in 1989 guy sent a letter to me but was for his gf and vice versa!!fucking explain yourself! Shit! So ..the vice versa bit...how did that work ?...who sent the other letter to who and who got it instead ?? My ex guy sent his NEW gf letter but it was for ME and I got the letter for her!" I'll NEVER forget! | |||
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"Wrote a certain text to send to a certain someone but the certain text didnt get to the certain someone twas intended for..if ya catch my drift ....GULP !!! Intrigued. .. in 1989 guy sent a letter to me but was for his gf and vice versa!!fucking explain yourself! Shit! So ..the vice versa bit...how did that work ?...who sent the other letter to who and who got it instead ?? My ex guy sent his NEW gf letter but it was for ME and I got the letter for her! I'll NEVER forget!" Oh..so he sent TWO letters but went to the wrong people...??? Fuck !!! ..so i take it from your last sentence you saw stuff in that letter than probably wasnt very nice ??? ... | |||
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"Wrote a certain text to send to a certain someone but the certain text didnt get to the certain someone twas intended for..if ya catch my drift ....GULP !!! Intrigued. .. in 1989 guy sent a letter to me but was for his gf and vice versa!!fucking explain yourself! Shit!" I used to listen to a certain female radio presenter who l thought was HOT and had a seriously sexy voice so l decided to send in a text to her show complimenting her on both her attributes etc etc but sent it to my ex. Who wasnt my ex at that time ..l hope that ..quote.." fucking " explains myself ..and l dont know if the " shit " ..is you discribing my post or discribing me..or maybe both ..so maybe you might let me know so i can then reply.. | |||
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"Wrote a certain text to send to a certain someone but the certain text didnt get to the certain someone twas intended for..if ya catch my drift ....GULP !!! Intrigued. .. in 1989 guy sent a letter to me but was for his gf and vice versa!!fucking explain yourself! Shit! I used to listen to a certain female radio presenter who l thought was HOT and had a seriously sexy voice so l decided to send in a text to her show complimenting her on both her attributes etc etc but sent it to my ex. Who wasnt my ex at that time ..l hope that ..quote.." fucking " explains myself ..and l dont know if the " shit " ..is you discribing my post or discribing me..or maybe both ..so maybe you might let me know so i can then reply.." No. My post referred to my poor ex bf of the time! Like " shit!" And how do you explain it !! I think he somehow salvaged his relationship with his new gf!! | |||
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"Wrote a certain text to send to a certain someone but the certain text didnt get to the certain someone twas intended for..if ya catch my drift ....GULP !!! Intrigued. .. in 1989 guy sent a letter to me but was for his gf and vice versa!!fucking explain yourself! Shit! I used to listen to a certain female radio presenter who l thought was HOT and had a seriously sexy voice so l decided to send in a text to her show complimenting her on both her attributes etc etc but sent it to my ex. Who wasnt my ex at that time ..l hope that ..quote.." fucking " explains myself ..and l dont know if the " shit " ..is you discribing my post or discribing me..or maybe both ..so maybe you might let me know so i can then reply.. No. My post referred to my poor ex bf of the time! Like " shit!" And how do you explain it !! I think he somehow salvaged his relationship with his new gf!! " Ahhh l see, thank you for your clarification Ventures20 , very much appreciated ..isnt it unreal how using text that for whatever reason it doesnt arrive out at the other end the way it was put in or ment to sound ...sometimes texting in NOT the best way to have a conversation ,too much misinterpited or misleading...and yes l can imagine your ex.BF at the time had a bit of explaining to do or maybe a bit of " grovelling " with his new GF while she maybe have been standing there with a Rolling pin in her hand | |||
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