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By *ealitybites OP   Man
over a year ago

Belfast

"Everyone is a genius but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will spend it's whole life thinking it is stupid"

A quote wrongly attributed to Albert Einstein but regardless of who said it, how often do we make assumptions about people based on their sex or where they went to school or grew up?

Everyone is unique and therefore we don't all have the same skills or desires or needs.

I've known university graduates who don't have an ounce of common sense and literally come across as completely stupid and thick and I know others who left school at an early age who are practical but also the most intelligent people I've ever met.

The same can be true when it comes to sexuality. Why do we continue to judge a book by its cover and/or believe that physical appearance has any bearing on a person's skills or their personality?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is all very well but visual attraction plays a part too.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


""Everyone is a genius but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will spend it's whole life thinking it is stupid"

A quote wrongly attributed to Albert Einstein but regardless of who said it, how often do we make assumptions about people based on their sex or where they went to school or grew up?

Everyone is unique and therefore we don't all have the same skills or desires or needs.

I've known university graduates who don't have an ounce of common sense and literally come across as completely stupid and thick and I know others who left school at an early age who are practical but also the most intelligent people I've ever met.

The same can be true when it comes to sexuality. Why do we continue to judge a book by its cover and/or believe that physical appearance has any bearing on a person's skills or their personality? "

I personally don't believe that you can.

Yes photos and a good profile can initially pique my interest in someone. But it's through chatting I know if I want to actually meet them.

I find places like the forums and the chat rooms which I use to use a great way of seeing people's personas as well. You see some with great pics and profiles but you know from the way they come that you would never get on. Others then who could have a pretty basic profile but it's their personality you get to like. Yes there has to be attraction as well but sometimes a good personality will help if I'm not sure .

I don't think you can see through profiles or chatting about sexual skills or chemistry tho.That happens when you meet and how you get on in person.

And as for those who insist on going into graphic detail about what they want to do with you in a first or second message and you turn them down and get told you are missing out. Nah I'm really not

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By *ed_AliceWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

Because we've been "told" all our lives, by just about every film & TV representation that a successful person is conventionally beautiful/handsome.

By successful I mean: socially,sex, dating, marriage, career. Academic success has a slightly different trope.

So having been fed these stereotypes all our lives it's no wonder that we perpetuate them. Hard to break programming.

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


""Everyone is a genius but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will spend it's whole life thinking it is stupid"

A quote wrongly attributed to Albert Einstein but regardless of who said it, how often do we make assumptions about people based on their sex or where they went to school or grew up?

Everyone is unique and therefore we don't all have the same skills or desires or needs.

I've known university graduates who don't have an ounce of common sense and literally come across as completely stupid and thick and I know others who left school at an early age who are practical but also the most intelligent people I've ever met.

The same can be true when it comes to sexuality. Why do we continue to judge a book by its cover and/or believe that physical appearance has any bearing on a person's skills or their personality? "

You tell us - you’ve over fifty pics of yourself in various states of undress and shot at the most flattering angles possible.

If you really felt that appearances were inconsequential why feed the assumptions you disagree with ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think visually we are at first drawn in towards someone but it takes a personality to keep the interest alive. Without that they've nothing.

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By *vpamelaTV/TS
over a year ago

kinkville

Some book covers look incredible

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

[Removed by poster at 07/11/20 10:17:36]

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


""Everyone is a genius but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will spend it's whole life thinking it is stupid"

A quote wrongly attributed to Albert Einstein but regardless of who said it, how often do we make assumptions about people based on their sex or where they went to school or grew up?

Everyone is unique and therefore we don't all have the same skills or desires or needs.

I've known university graduates who don't have an ounce of common sense and literally come across as completely stupid and thick and I know others who left school at an early age who are practical but also the most intelligent people I've ever met.

The same can be true when it comes to sexuality. Why do we continue to judge a book by its cover and/or believe that physical appearance has any bearing on a person's skills or their personality?

You tell us - you’ve over fifty pics of yourself in various states of undress and shot at the most flattering angles possible.

If you really felt that appearances were inconsequential why feed the assumptions you disagree with ? "

It was never mentioned that pics don't matter.It was said that we judge books by it's cover.

I read your comment wrong at first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's instilled in us, by nature we are visually enticed, whether it be by people, objects or food, its the arousal or desire of the visual expectation that makes us delve deeper to get the thrill, excitement or satisfaction

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By *ealitybites OP   Man
over a year ago

Belfast

The point has nothing to do with physical attraction. The thread is about assmptions based on physical appearance or where a person is from or were educated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't polish a turd!

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By *oo32Man
over a year ago

tipperary

Assumptions are made every day....

They way we dress...

Car we drive...

If we chose to dye our hair

Have tattoos..

Where we live..

Piercings...

It's all assumptions,and a lot of the time people are not given the chance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How you present yourself to the world does reflect you to an extent. We continually make assessment of people, and their appearance is often the first impression.

I don't make assumptions about someone based on their level of education, do you OP?

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

We create a first impression of a person in a few seconds. I'd say it's an instinct to judge the situation and to decide on the tactics for further interaction. Visually we're drawn to what we find attractive but only a fool relies on a single aspect only to make a decision.

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By *ealitybites OP   Man
over a year ago

Belfast


"How you present yourself to the world does reflect you to an extent. We continually make assessment of people, and their appearance is often the first impression.

I don't make assumptions about someone based on their level of education, do you OP?"

No I don't. I've had many conversations on various topics in groups made up of people from all backgrounds both geographical and educational.

That was the point in the original post about fish climbing trees.

Everyone has their own skillset and if we base our expectations on appearance, education or point of origin it's shallow and narrow minded.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

The same can be true when it comes to sexuality. Why do we continue to judge a book by its cover and/or believe that physical appearance has any bearing on a person's skills or their personality? "

From a very young age, we have been conditioned and programmed by our education system and our media to believe in class and cultural and indeed, sexual stereotypes.

The more you keep an open mind and the more people you meet as you grow, you realize that this is all bullshit.

Some so-called "beautiful" women who I have been with have been among the most boring company and been the worst kissers. Some so-called "plain" women I have been with have been absolutely incredible to be with on all fronts.

If you trust your instincts, they will usually lead you to the right place....

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

I think we are a lot more fickle here than in real life. In reality there are plenty of traditionally 'unattractive'peoole with 'attractive' partners. In terms of long terms compatibility, appearances have little has to do with longevity. Its different here. Long term isn't important. For 1night only we will choose sexiness every time.

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By *P_80Man
over a year ago

Waterford

I admit to have been ignorant towards today's young adults (early to mid 20's).

All I saw was the 'social media generation' and made judgements based on that.

Turns out after working with a few the last couple of years, not only do I get on great with them and have a laugh, but I've become friends with some.

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

[Removed by poster at 07/11/20 15:22:59]

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

Physical appearance has many aspects. It encompasses the facial features, physique, clothes, hair (or not) and also how they carry themselves. Yes, unfortunately i'll judge someone by their physical appearance, but only the features which they have control over. If they have let themselves go and have no pride in their appearance, it says a lot about their state of mind imo. The actual facial features (which we have little control over) are not as important as all the other physical features for this reason. Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've often thought the quote more useful in the context, not of judgement itself, but about the effects of said judgement. The fish may have been perfectly happy until being judged and as a consequence now lives the rest of its days considering itself stupid.

A harsh word or a kind word goes a long way towards influencing people's opinion of themselves, aswell as their opinion of you.

But to the question, judging folks on looks alone, as Beauty and the Beast taught us, is a tale as old as time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's probably to do with our hardware being designed to judge whether a animal was prey or predator in regards to us, then fast forward generations & it's still somewhere in our subconscious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It merely reflects life OP

It's been researched. Individuals who are perceived to be more attractive physically generally have higher self esteem, more self confidence,and are more likely to get more breaks in life, do well in interviews and end up in better/higher paid jobs. It doesn't suggest that at any point people consciously make a decision about them or give them an unfair advantage based on their appearance, as everyone in business wants to hire the best person for the job, but there's likely to be a sub conscious element.

In America they looked at school kids. Those who were older for their year group were found be more likely to make sports teams which fed into their self confidence and as a consequence were more likely to get sports and academic scholarships and ended up more affluent later in life and more content and happier.

So in life it seems more attractive people are presented with the opporunity to flourish and reach their potential much more readily than less attractive.

I think it's similar on here for most people whether they will admit it or not. Personally for me there has to be a physical attraction or its a complete non starter. I also tend to agree with one of the above posters, if someone has let themselves go physically and doesn't take care of themselves it says as much about their personality and psyche as it does about their appearance.

People can portray themselves however they want behind a keyboard on here and come across as whatever personality they choose in cyber land. They can be the life and soul of the party, put on an act and be whoever they think the person they're conversing with on here or meeting for limited periods of time wants them to be, then drop the act in everyday life. These people get found out for the type they are when they have to invest in genuine relationships in the real world. I much prefer straight shooters.

At the end of the day people have every right to look for what they want on here. A personal gripe for me is the profiles that rant about it being about more than looks and constantly asking if personality counts for nothing. These profiles reek of giant chips on their shoulders about life in general. And if you have to try and point out that you're a funny guy or good craic you're probably not. Deal the hand youre dealt ans get on with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People can portray themselves however they want behind a keyboard on here and come across as whatever personality they choose in cyber land. They can be the life and soul of the party, put on an act and be whoever they think the person they're conversing with on here or meeting for limited periods of time wants them to be, then drop the act in everyday life. These people get found out for the type they are when they have to invest in genuine relationships in the real world.

"

Agree wholeheartedly with this part at least. See it day in, day out on here; at the extremes, kindness or toxicity can be spotted quickly enough but sometimes it takes a while, usually the green arrow is helpful in this regard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I also tend to agree with one of the above posters, if someone has let themselves go physically and doesn't take care of themselves it says as much about their personality and psyche as it does about their appearance.

"

Wow. It must be great to live in a world where everyone is psychologically and physically perfect

Sometimes people get sick. Or depressed.Or get down. Or are grieving. Or get addicted to one thing or another. So they let go of themselves for a while. There are many reasons that this happens to people.

This is no reason to write them off as a being some kind of less-than-perfect specimen on the societal ladder.Everyone has imperfections that they are dealing with. On the whole, physical ones are easier to fix than mental ones.

If you're shallow enough to rate everyone via appearances only, you stand to miss out on meeting a lot of really interesting and fun people.

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By *oo32Man
over a year ago

tipperary


""Everyone is a genius but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will spend it's whole life thinking it is stupid"

A quote wrongly attributed to Albert Einstein but regardless of who said it, how often do we make assumptions about people based on their sex or where they went to school or grew up?

Everyone is unique and therefore we don't all have the same skills or desires or needs.

I've known university graduates who don't have an ounce of common sense and literally come across as completely stupid and thick and I know others who left school at an early age who are practical but also the most intelligent people I've ever met.

The same can be true when it comes to sexuality. Why do we continue to judge a book by its cover and/or believe that physical appearance has any bearing on a person's skills or their personality? "

Theres no way a person's physical appearance can affect their skills..

We continue to judge because mostly we are shallow..and would rather make assumptions than take the time..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Everyone is a genius but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will spend it's whole life thinking it is stupid"

A quote wrongly attributed to Albert Einstein but regardless of who said it, how often do we make assumptions about people based on their sex or where they went to school or grew up?

Everyone is unique and therefore we don't all have the same skills or desires or needs.

I've known university graduates who don't have an ounce of common sense and literally come across as completely stupid and thick and I know others who left school at an early age who are practical but also the most intelligent people I've ever met.

The same can be true when it comes to sexuality. Why do we continue to judge a book by its cover and/or believe that physical appearance has any bearing on a person's skills or their personality? "

Good point. Unfortunately its life. Instinctively we are naturally drawn to beauty. It's an inherint trait in humans going back to the Greeks, Romans and Egyptians. Beauty was seen as powerful, even godlike. Its still that way today. Society puts external beauty on a pedestal. For me... of course we are all drawn to beauty. Its who we are, but given time the novelty of that fades away and without internal beauty, personality, intelligence, kindness etc... The beauty fades. Of course you will always get people that don't give a shit cos a trophy is a trophy but for the rest of us with half a brain cell left we will look for more.. Combine the two well then bingo!!

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By *ealitybites OP   Man
over a year ago

Belfast


" I also tend to agree with one of the above posters, if someone has let themselves go physically and doesn't take care of themselves it says as much about their personality and psyche as it does about their appearance.

Wow. It must be great to live in a world where everyone is psychologically and physically perfect

Sometimes people get sick. Or depressed.Or get down. Or are grieving. Or get addicted to one thing or another. So they let go of themselves for a while. There are many reasons that this happens to people.

This is no reason to write them off as a being some kind of less-than-perfect specimen on the societal ladder.Everyone has imperfections that they are dealing with. On the whole, physical ones are easier to fix than mental ones.

If you're shallow enough to rate everyone via appearances only, you stand to miss out on meeting a lot of really interesting and fun people.

"

I agree wholeheartedly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was hoping this was about the porridge movie and Buck Tarbrush

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I also tend to agree with one of the above posters, if someone has let themselves go physically and doesn't take care of themselves it says as much about their personality and psyche as it does about their appearance.

Wow. It must be great to live in a world where everyone is psychologically and physically perfect

Sometimes people get sick. Or depressed.Or get down. Or are grieving. Or get addicted to one thing or another. So they let go of themselves for a while. There are many reasons that this happens to people.

This is no reason to write them off as a being some kind of less-than-perfect specimen on the societal ladder.Everyone has imperfections that they are dealing with. On the whole, physical ones are easier to fix than mental ones.

If you're shallow enough to rate everyone via appearances only, you stand to miss out on meeting a lot of really interesting and fun people.

"

Its a generalisation. And I'm talking in reference to fab and everyone is entitled to look for whatever they want. If someone is sick or depressed or grieving or addicted I'm not interested in rehabilitating them on here. This is a sex site, that's not what I'm here for.

If you wish to invest your time in that fashion that's your call. Like I said, people are here for what they are here for. I have enough friends in real life.

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By *ealitybites OP   Man
over a year ago

Belfast


""Everyone is a genius but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will spend it's whole life thinking it is stupid"

A quote wrongly attributed to Albert Einstein but regardless of who said it, how often do we make assumptions about people based on their sex or where they went to school or grew up?

Everyone is unique and therefore we don't all have the same skills or desires or needs.

I've known university graduates who don't have an ounce of common sense and literally come across as completely stupid and thick and I know others who left school at an early age who are practical but also the most intelligent people I've ever met.

The same can be true when it comes to sexuality. Why do we continue to judge a book by its cover and/or believe that physical appearance has any bearing on a person's skills or their personality?

Good point. Unfortunately its life. Instinctively we are naturally drawn to beauty. It's an inherint trait in humans going back to the Greeks, Romans and Egyptians. Beauty was seen as powerful, even godlike. Its still that way today. Society puts external beauty on a pedestal. For me... of course we are all drawn to beauty. Its who we are, but given time the novelty of that fades away and without internal beauty, personality, intelligence, kindness etc... The beauty fades. Of course you will always get people that don't give a shit cos a trophy is a trophy but for the rest of us with half a brain cell left we will look for more.. Combine the two well then bingo!! "

Part of the problem though is that some people feed on compliments and are completely blindsided when others quickly become aware of their Achilles heel and are unable to see how shallow the approach is.

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By *oo32Man
over a year ago

tipperary


" I also tend to agree with one of the above posters, if someone has let themselves go physically and doesn't take care of themselves it says as much about their personality and psyche as it does about their appearance.

Wow. It must be great to live in a world where everyone is psychologically and physically perfect

Sometimes people get sick. Or depressed.Or get down. Or are grieving. Or get addicted to one thing or another. So they let go of themselves for a while. There are many reasons that this happens to people.

This is no reason to write them off as a being some kind of less-than-perfect specimen on the societal ladder.Everyone has imperfections that they are dealing with. On the whole, physical ones are easier to fix than mental ones.

If you're shallow enough to rate everyone via appearances only, you stand to miss out on meeting a lot of really interesting and fun people.

Its a generalisation. And I'm talking in reference to fab and everyone is entitled to look for whatever they want. If someone is sick or depressed or grieving or addicted I'm not interested in rehabilitating them on here. This is a sex site, that's not what I'm here for.

If you wish to invest your time in that fashion that's your call. Like I said, people are here for what they are here for. I have enough friends in real life. "

I think the original post was about real life.....I could be mistaken

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By *ealitybites OP   Man
over a year ago

Belfast


" I also tend to agree with one of the above posters, if someone has let themselves go physically and doesn't take care of themselves it says as much about their personality and psyche as it does about their appearance.

Wow. It must be great to live in a world where everyone is psychologically and physically perfect

Sometimes people get sick. Or depressed.Or get down. Or are grieving. Or get addicted to one thing or another. So they let go of themselves for a while. There are many reasons that this happens to people.

This is no reason to write them off as a being some kind of less-than-perfect specimen on the societal ladder.Everyone has imperfections that they are dealing with. On the whole, physical ones are easier to fix than mental ones.

If you're shallow enough to rate everyone via appearances only, you stand to miss out on meeting a lot of really interesting and fun people.

Its a generalisation. And I'm talking in reference to fab and everyone is entitled to look for whatever they want. If someone is sick or depressed or grieving or addicted I'm not interested in rehabilitating them on here. This is a sex site, that's not what I'm here for.

If you wish to invest your time in that fashion that's your call. Like I said, people are here for what they are here for. I have enough friends in real life.

I think the original post was about real life.....I could be mistaken"

You are correct. It was about real life but there are inevitable overlaps with fab.

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