FabSwingers.com forum: Mental health Ireland

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Don't know if this topic will get too people or not and I do apologize my only option I have is too vent this is here. Its a touchy subject especially among men we need to accept these emotions and work with them yes it's very difficult too achieve this. We need too work together as a community it's people power that helps unlike our government!

Look we have all bin there or bin here or what ever , my life was torn in half this year after a loved one passed away an we couldn't attend the funeral I had too stand on a chair an look threw a window too see them layed out in the coffin.

Then my father was rushed too hospital with a cancer tumor bare in mind this guy was fully healthy never took a tablet in his 60yrs. He went for the operation an that unfortunately wasn't very successful. However he actually caught the covid in the hospital and that's what's killing him as I type this. The doctor's said you only have approximately 12 months I just cannot do all of this all over again 5 months later since the last funeral.

And like some of the thousands I also lost my flipping job over the virus I'm on the PUP which hardly covers bills.

So who do I turn too here's what I got in responses from some services

Pieta House useless service that's way under staffed both professional staff / volunteers again waiting lists the volunteers are the only ones who go beyond too help people here

Samaritans Ireland some joke example how are you Steve? how do you feel Steve? where are you Steve? do you feel suicidal Steve? Do you need an ambulance or Garda Steve? Wtf like reading threw a script then pass on my details too the police

Aware phones are off at 10pm and I can never get threw even before 10pm

SpunOut.ie I'm too old but too be fair they where fairly helpful but not a lot they could do. Thanks for the tips if your on here amazing people

HSE absolute scandless I'm going threw a mental health service that has a waiting list as long as my body. What they offered was Xanax and pills an more pills they gave me I'm like a fukin zombie I can't drive I could barely speak it was like I was really really pissed.

And then we wonder why so many people have lost their lives over the lack of mental health services.

Especially in these times we should have double the amount of services out there.

This is not a pitty thread I'm just so fed up no one to turn too. Questions and thoughts race threw my head every minute of every day. Will I be okay ? how can I make myself okay ? will this end panic an manic episodes up the roof just go away ?. Anixtey depression stress is extremely killing my soul constantly worry more questions

So my that's my rant or my venting any tips or advice I would be very grateful pm me if you don't wanna post here in public. Discretion is assured I just need too feel an be normal again and what ever it takes I'll give it a go.

Thanks everyone an I again I do apologize if I did get too some people.

Keep safe and look after one another

Ps I sound like a mad man let out for a weekend I'm really not mad though. Maybe crazy but in a good way lol.

Peace out Steve

Ps sorry for the bad grammar have wonderful day folks

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

I don't have any answers but i will say well done on your post

It must have been hard to write and no body will think you're mad for starting a thread on the subject

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By *oandFroCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

Well done to you for bringing this up, what a hard time you are having. I am sorry the services that are meant to help are letting you down, you are free to speak your mind wherever you like and hopefully you will get some help from here.. life can be cruel I work in pharmacy and have seen first hand the loss families have felt in these times.. financially and more so in health and loss of loved ones... my only advise to you is take one day at a time... light and strength will come... you obviously have good Gene's look at the good health your dad had all his life and that will stand to him in his battle .. try and find happiness in the small things a walk or a movie.. a chat with friends or family and get out for fresh air every day if you can. Self care is important and keep talking. K. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If charity services or State funded services don't meet your needs you can still look for private counselling.

Many therapists in private practice keep spaces for low cost clients so it's worth checking out registered therapists in your area on the IACP or IAHIP websites and phoning some to see who you connect with.

We're in a space of collective upheaval where all our stuff individually and globally is coming to the surface and fear and anxiety is increasingly present.

Mindfulness can be another helpful tool for dealing with anxiety as it can help your body to regulate and quiet the mind sufficiently for one to be able to work on the underlying issues and respond rather than react to life.

Depression can be a very frightening time and experience, but also one of profound growth. It tells us when it is no longer tolerable for us to remain in the space we're in and can, with support give us the call to major life change in support of our true selves.

Know that there is help and support available. That you're seeking it and persisting in your search says a lot. That's the start of it....keep stepping, even if they're baby steps of seemingly backward steps, keep stepping.

Tabhair aire a chara

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By *ired-BNMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Hey, thanks for sharing it must have been hard deciding to write it here or not, like you say it’s not for pity but I’m very sorry to hear that about your struggle.

I can’t say I understand but I went through a time myself I found tough. I learned something’s that maybe could be of use to you, they surely helped me get back to a positive outlook on life and has kept me there as I still apply these ideas.

I go back to nature as much as I can. I started swimming in the sea for the cold shock, winter to summer, just head out on my own. Wednesday evenings were the quietest so on the motorbike and into the sea in a pair of togs. Have a WhatsApp group now we message when going out always a few interested.

Go hiking, usually bring someone, some snacks and water, weather cold, warm or wet no difference, just fucking start walking, walk all day.

Doing this, breathing in the salt sea air or the forest tree air and it’ll change you over time. You’ll find people that’ll join you, you’ll chat, things will start to feel better in time.

All my best to your father and keep looking forward.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Some great responses here.

Someone very close to me has had similar issues recently, and has has a similarly useless response from the support services. The state of support for mental health in this country is a national embarassment.

Have you got SOMEONE you can talk to? A friend or family member?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks all for the wonderful tips an messages I am overwhelmed by the responses both here and in private. Your an amazing community of people

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Some great responses here.

Have you got SOMEONE you can talk to? A friend or family member? "
it's horrible on the person and the services I do have some to reach out but saying that what I wrote here some of it won't ever be told too my circle of outside mates. Its a thing of being judged being looked down on or worse case scenario I lose my mates. So it's sort of a 50 50 type thing but that's just personal adjective on it I could be very wrong..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I read your posts its made me realise how badly covid19 has affected some more than others. Our services here are way over stretched and the help is just not there anymore. I wonder if there are others here like you suffering in silence. Would maybe a support group set up here help? I do hope you will be ok x

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"Some great responses here.

Have you got SOMEONE you can talk to? A friend or family member? it's horrible on the person and the services I do have some to reach out but saying that what I wrote here some of it won't ever be told too my circle of outside mates. Its a thing of being judged being looked down on or worse case scenario I lose my mates. So it's sort of a 50 50 type thing but that's just personal adjective on it I could be very wrong.. "

Op I genuinely believe that your mates would be supportive but can understand why you would prefer to post on here

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By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

Mental Health services in this country are abysmal. I know one person who was attending appointments. They would wait for nearly two hours to be seen for about 5/10 mins max and all they would do is ask the same questions and change their medication or up it or more often than not just send them on their way with little to no help.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As I read your posts its made me realise how badly covid19 has affected some more than others. Our services here are way over stretched and the help is just not there anymore. I wonder if there are others here like you suffering in silence. Would maybe a support group set up here help? I do hope you will be ok x "
being honest I was relaxed about covid back when it only hit our country I taught noting of it. Till boom it hit home an it hit hard it was horrible not evening giving that loved one a proper funeral service with all the family together and couldn't even hug anyone. But I do like that idea of a group support of silent sufferers be it men or women that's a great idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP talk to your friends....

I can tell you they will be supportive.

The only way you will lose them as true friends is if you pull away from them or drive them away by not telling them whats going on.

We all have these worries and troubles they will understand.

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By *mmmm300Woman
over a year ago

cork

"Hey, thanks for sharing it must have been hard deciding to write it here or not, like you say it’s not for pity but I’m very sorry to hear that about your struggle.

Go hiking, usually bring someone, some snacks and water, weather cold, warm or wet no difference, just fucking start walking, walk all day.

Doing this, breathing in the salt sea air or the forest tree air and it’ll change you over time. You’ll find people that’ll join you, you’ll chat, things will start to feel better in time.

All my best to your father and keep looking forward.

Some really great words in this thread. I really agree with this, Also started the sea swimming. And enjoy hiking. Yoga another good one for me, all activities you can head to alone and 99% of the time, meet someone to chat to.

Talking about it here, or to friends is a great way to go. Keep talking, we will keep listening and keep safe and strong. O. Xx

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By *oandFroCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

I was just thinking Steve too, have you had a chat with your gp sometimes sitting down face to face and unloading it all is good to I know you may be afraid of taking medications but that's up to you... even gp suggests it is still up to you..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was just thinking Steve too, have you had a chat with your gp sometimes sitting down face to face and unloading it all is good to I know you may be afraid of taking medications but that's up to you... even gp suggests it is still up to you.."
see I've an issue there not talking too the GP like I have great great helpful GP but trying too get into his office is like trying too a rob a bank at this stage. He's seen my twice this year which he did his up most best but there's only a certain point where he can't help no more so then it's back too waiting lists if you get me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mental Health services in this country are abysmal. I know one person who was attending appointments. They would wait for nearly two hours to be seen for about 5/10 mins max and all they would do is ask the same questions and change their medication or up it or more often than not just send them on their way with little to no help.

Im hoping to go back to college once my ones start school and retrain in psychology. Some night courses i had planned to do this year have in the current climate being cancelled so hopefully next year ill get to do them "
what your friend is going threw is exactly what I am going threw bar the face too face their just up meds trying different meds it's roller coaster at this point.. and best wishes on your course I hope it works for you

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By *oft_sexy_sweetWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

It's very different for everyone, but what worked for me was meds, therapy and lifestyle changes. I was diagnosed with anxiety & depression 13 years ago and I only got a handle on it in the last five years by doing exactly what the doctor told me. Trying different meds until I found what suited me, attending counselling weekly, no coffee, more exercise, strict bedtime, giving myself tough love when I wanted to stay in bed all day etc.

You don't need a referral to access counselling as someone said above, and most if not all counsellors do a sliding scale system to ensure people can access it.

Of course we should be able to access these services via the HSE for free, but for something like mental health it's more important to just get the conversation with a counsellor started.

It's really not a quick fix - multiple tries at meds, counsellors, falling off the wagon in terms of self care, picking it back up again - but once you get a handle on things it becomes second nature.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FYI there are some charities that offer free counselling. I used SOSAD for a year and am I no doubt that it, combined with antidepressants for the first 6 months, absolutely saved my life.

OP, you'll get there. The fact that you posted this proves you're already on the road to recovery. Just don't give up on yourself x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great stuff here from everyone it's really good to see. I only recently found the forums and it's increased my respect.for Fab and the people here.

Hey Steve. I had about 4 months of super depression before. I remember I had just finished collage and so when i went to the psychologist ...I couldn't believe it as I had just finished she said she couldn't see me...but she acknowledged that I seemed in a very bad place. I couldn't believe when only a arms reach from helping someone redtape gets in the way.

My 2 cents on top of the great advice here. You will get through this. This covid thing is getting better that is for sure. It won't go back to how it was before ...and most importantly learn to meditate. Get Sam Harris app "Waking up". It's the most logical way to approach it and it will show you how to break the cycle on your head. You have to pay for it...but to describe the type of person Sam is if you email them and you can't afford it they will give you the app no questions asked.

Perhaps try to meet a psycologist but I know that's hard to find at times. Also you can talk to your friends. If you lost them over this they wouldn't be great friends. I am sure they will be great to speak to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey,

I had a very rough few years and the only advice I can give is to breathe, and try not to panic about everything.

I hit the gym hard, most days for my head not my body. It really did help.

Also I would speak to the Irish Cancer society, because they might be able to put you in contact with a local group that provides support to families of those suffering with cancer.

The groups often provide a few free counselling sessions which can help no end.

Good luck OP.. Just remember "this too shall pass"

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By *unnyfookMan
over a year ago

Naas

I keep a list in my van given to me by a counselor helps me rationalise my thoughts when they go south. everywhere is overwhelmed with the amount of people that need help.

so my suggestion is come on here have a vent or rant and pm anyone that offers.

sometimes it's better to chat to strangers you have not met or will ever meet

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By *oandFroCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

Have sent friend request. Happy to be the friend you'll never meet with a listening ear. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some great responses here.

It's tough, but you must speak to someone, it's the most important step in all of this. I was at this stage a number of years back and I found that the hardest but yet most important thing I done was to speak to someone. Not everyone is lucky to have someone in their lives that they can talk to but rest assured if I didnt speak up I would definitely not be here writing this message today. On that point, I dont know you but if I can help you in any way I am here, I can make personal contact with you, listen to you and try and help you as much as I can. Please mind yourself and I know it's hard but please try and speak to someone

Stay safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Namaste man

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