FabSwingers.com forum: Screenplay

By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

Apparently plans are well advanced for a new Fab movie.

SPOILER ALERT

Last minute tweaks are being made to the script and the lead roles have been cast but some minor roles have yet to be filled if you want to apply through the normal channels.

It's an action adventure movie about a group of people who have been hiding out on an island during a worldwide pandemic and have been drawn back into the outside world by a particularly nasty strain of boredom.

They decide to combine their experience and superior knowledge to fix the world.

It will be full of drama and involve lots of dummy spitting, dick measuring and pissing contests.

Great emphasis will be placed on marking territory and there will be endless amounts of attention seeking as the tale progresses.

There will be damsels in distress shouting at the top of their voices in the hope of being rescued by a passing knight.

Alphas will play an important role but may struggle when it is revealed that most of them are not what they seem and they are really drama queens who are quick to take their ball home when things don't go their way.

Wicked witches and trolls will also been involved but to what extent is still unknown at this stage.

Secret societies will pool resources and share vital information in the battle against the evil twins Boredom and Inanity.

A release date is TBC but the working title for this epic production is Thundercunts are go.

Coming to a theatre near you.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

I can see this being a massive hit at the box office....sure nobody likes a flop

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

"I can see this being a massive hit at the box office....sure nobody likes a flop

Rumours abound that there will be no flops in this movie and it could be the start of a franchise

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"I can see this being a massive hit at the box office....sure nobody likes a flop

Rumours abound that there will be no flops in this movie and it could be the start of a franchise

Sounds like a dark and dastardly movie you need some rainbows and sunshine to brighten it up.

Might be worth going to the pre view tho I do like to watch.

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

"I can see this being a massive hit at the box office....sure nobody likes a flop

Rumours abound that there will be no flops in this movie and it could be the start of a franchise

Sounds like a dark and dastardly movie you need some rainbows and sunshine to brighten it up.

Might be worth going to the pre view tho I do like to watch.

On set photos have emerged on the dark web that appear to reveal there may also be dragons and shit and rumours abound that the Fountain of Knowledge will also be involved

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"I can see this being a massive hit at the box office....sure nobody likes a flop

Rumours abound that there will be no flops in this movie and it could be the start of a franchise

Sounds like a dark and dastardly movie you need some rainbows and sunshine to brighten it up.

Might be worth going to the pre view tho I do like to watch.

On set photos have emerged on the dark web that appear to reveal there may also be dragons and shit and rumours abound that the Fountain of Knowledge will also be involved

Come on it's a fab movie ya gotta have the fountain if youth in it as well

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

"I can see this being a massive hit at the box office....sure nobody likes a flop

Rumours abound that there will be no flops in this movie and it could be the start of a franchise

Sounds like a dark and dastardly movie you need some rainbows and sunshine to brighten it up.

Might be worth going to the pre view tho I do like to watch.

On set photos have emerged on the dark web that appear to reveal there may also be dragons and shit and rumours abound that the Fountain of Knowledge will also be involved

Come on it's a fab movie ya gotta have the fountain if youth in it as well

That's true. The producers will have seen your suggestion and will no doubt be rewriting as we speak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I heard rumours that a rival film company are pushing to release a similar movie around the same time. It's called Carry On Up The Fabber. I dont think it has as big a budget though, from what I hear it's being shot in Sligo.

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

IMDB are reporting that urgent applications are required for a number of roles.

Their website says that there will be no character development as these are shallow roles but the roles of Fawn and Brownnose are open to anyone.

They are also hoping to avoid using CGI if possible and are seeking a vocal expert who can recreate the high pitched whining sound that initially draws our heroes out.

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

"I heard rumours that a rival film company are pushing to release a similar movie around the same time. It's called Carry On Up The Fabber. I dont think it has as big a budget though, from what I hear it's being shot in Sligo."

That should do well in the foreign language category.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That should do well in the foreign language category.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

IMDB also reporting that the screenplay is based on a fab post set in the Ireland thread called

" I fucked Ryan's Daughter"

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

"IMDB also reporting that the screenplay is based on a fab post set in the Ireland thread called

" I fucked Ryan's Daughter""

Not to be confused with "Saving Ryan's Privates".

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

This infomercial was brought to you by Keyboard Warriors Inc.

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By *eralt80Man
over a year ago

cork

When do auditions start?

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

is there a casting couch ?

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

"When do auditions start?"

They already have.

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

"is there a casting couch ?"

Just a busted sofa

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"is there a casting couch ?

Just a busted sofa

Seems appropriate enough.

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By *ornyfireCouple
over a year ago

Middle Earth

Rushes of to get head shots done

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"Rushes of to get head shots done "

Rushes off to get shots of getting head done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kaizer smells Oscar gold

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By *eralt80Man
over a year ago

cork

"When do auditions start?

They already have.

I’ll have to get onto my agent.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"Kaizer smells Oscar gold

Who'd win what category

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

"When do auditions start?

They already have.

I’ll have to get onto my agent. "

Any particular role you are interested in?

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

As it's a closed set and the script a guarded secret, the lead actors may be reluctant to comment or make themselves available for interview either in fear of being charged with a breach of contract or even just being associated with the role.

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

"Kaizer smells Oscar gold

Another excellent name for a porn movie. Who would play Oscar?

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

"Kaizer smells Oscar gold

Another excellent name for a porn movie. Who would play Oscar?

Id love a part but i aint sniffing anyone's "Oscar"

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By *eralt80Man
over a year ago

cork

"When do auditions start?

They already have.

I’ll have to get onto my agent.

Any particular role you are interested in?

I’ll play the gardener or handyman.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"When do auditions start?

They already have.

I’ll have to get onto my agent.

Any particular role you are interested in?

I’ll play the gardener or handyman. "

Like Sean Bean in Lady Chatterley's lover

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kaizer smells Oscar gold

Another excellent name for a porn movie. Who would play Oscar?

If you, as the director, want academy recognition you gotta cast the Manbeast

With a resume that includes Sheep #3 in Nativity '89. Kaizer will blow you away with his method acting

If you could be really sound and cast Jessica Alba as the love interest too

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

Late casting call for comedy sidekicks. Must be laugh verified and self verification is not allowed.

These are minor insignificant roles and designed to make the leads look good.

You will be the butt of every unfunny joke but will never be as funny as you think you are.

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

"When do auditions start?

They already have.

I’ll have to get onto my agent.

Any particular role you are interested in?

I’ll play the gardener or handyman. "

The one who reveals himself at the end to be the real hero who was working for the Clique as a double agent?

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By *eralt80Man
over a year ago

cork

"When do auditions start?

They already have.

I’ll have to get onto my agent.

Any particular role you are interested in?

I’ll play the gardener or handyman.

The one who reveals himself at the end to be the real hero who was working for the Clique as a double agent?

You’ve given away the plot now, nobody will come to see it

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"Late casting call for comedy sidekicks. Must be laugh verified and self verification is not allowed.

These are minor insignificant roles and designed to make the leads look good.

You will be the butt of every unfunny joke but will never be as funny as you think you are.

Sounds as if the part was written for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't wait to read the reviews... Treat this film with respect and don't pass up on the opportunity to see it

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

Not to forget the stand ins and stunt doubles.

They will be required as most of the leads are unwilling or unable to fulfill all their early promise.

They will also have to fill in for the leads on days that Fawn and Brownnose are unavailable.

As most of the leads rely on these to get through their day and it's in their contract they will therefore throw a strop and refuse to go on and threaten to leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't wait to read the reviews... Treat this film with respect and don't pass up on the opportunity to see it "

The Rotten Tomatoes rating will be interesting

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By *P_80Man
over a year ago

Waterford

"Can't wait to read the reviews... Treat this film with respect and don't pass up on the opportunity to see it "

You left out the first line.

"So after months of trailers I finally got to see this amazing movie and it was worth the wait"

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"In the days before Covid there was a magical place full of horny ridey people"

In a deep dublin accent

Can I be the voiceover trailer man

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By *P_80Man
over a year ago

Waterford

""In the days before Covid there was a magical place full of horny ridey people"

In a deep dublin accent

Can I be the voiceover trailer man

Nah, has to be a Kerry accent man.

Have you not seen Shtar Wars?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9kLOPAusWM

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

""In the days before Covid there was a magical place full of horny ridey people"

In a deep dublin accent

Can I be the voiceover trailer man

Nah, has to be a Kerry accent man.

Have you not seen Shtar Wars?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9kLOPAusWM"

Brilliant never saw it before

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

""In the days before Covid there was a magical place full of horny ridey people"

In a deep dublin accent

Can I be the voiceover trailer man

Nah, has to be a Kerry accent man.

Have you not seen Shtar Wars?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9kLOPAusWM"

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Not to forget the stand ins and stunt doubles.

They will be required as most of the leads are unwilling or unable to fulfill all their early promise.

They will also have to fill in for the leads on days that Fawn and Brownnose are unavailable.

As most of the leads rely on these to get through their day and it's in their contract they will therefore throw a strop and refuse to go on and threaten to leave. "

How about extras. They can stand in the background and shake their fists say the odd line here and there usually alone the lines of how they can solve all the issues and bloody cliques then go back into the background again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shhhhiiiittteeeee did I miss the casting?

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By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

dusts off the dragon shoes and pulls the axe out. im ready

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"dusts off the dragon shoes and pulls the axe out. im ready

I'm out

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By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

"dusts off the dragon shoes and pulls the axe out. im ready

I'm out"

ah boobs why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"dusts off the dragon shoes and pulls the axe out. im ready

I'm out

ah boobs why"

Well it wasnt the fucking shoes...

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By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

"dusts off the dragon shoes and pulls the axe out. im ready

I'm out

ah boobs why

Well it wasnt the fucking shoes..."

like id ever use my axe on you boobs. my nails on your back maybe if you were that way inclined

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

" Shhhhiiiittteeeee did I miss the casting?"

You can make a cameo appearance

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

If anyone is going to promote the film on The Graham Norton show can they bring me along please

I've a good story for The Red Chair

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

"If anyone is going to promote the film on The Graham Norton show can they bring me along please

I've a good story for The Red Chair

You can't promote external media on here.

And we wouldn't want anyone getting stage fright

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"If anyone is going to promote the film on The Graham Norton show can they bring me along please

I've a good story for The Red Chair

You can't promote external media on here.

And we wouldn't want anyone getting stage fright

Definitely not

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By *ealitybites OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast

"If anyone is going to promote the film on The Graham Norton show can they bring me along please

I've a good story for The Red Chair

You can't promote external media on here.

And we wouldn't want anyone getting stage fright

Definitely not "

And it's never good to overdo the self promotion. You end up in " Do you know who I am?" territory.

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