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By *ocoWEX OP Man
over a year ago
Chester |
Probably at this latitude you will not have these problems, but I guarantee you that in Southern Europe it is a plague that afflicts people terribly. Maybe you have tried it on your hot holiday and you can understand the discomfort.
"The biggest and most infamous mistake you can make in the summer, in fact, is get busy in the car.
We all know, already in general the car for some things does not help, in the movements I would say, to undress, in the acrobatic jumps, for the chases, in the changes of position and so on.
Yet it has its charm, mostly because in theory it's something you can't do, which is something like 'Obscene acts in a public place.'
I would say that doing it in the car is not bad also because it is heavier, rougher: hands on the windows, faces on the windows, drops on the windows, things on the windows, there, uncomfortable, stuffy.
It is not bad also because it creates complicity, because you are both uncomfortable, both in difficulty, both closed in that small cave, it creates its own strange intimacy.
But doing it in the summer is for real heroes, heroes without values, anti-heroes, bold villains.
You begin to sweat, acceptable for the first two movements, then everywhere, on the bodies, on the seats, droplets, then rivulets, streams, rivers, flood of the Nile and you remember for no precise reason
that: "Silt makes the earth fertile." Wait, what?
The drops start running on her forehead, it starts raining from her head, she looks like the wettest woman in the world and maybe she is, but she is sweat, sweat.
If you squeeze it too tightly, you risk flying off like a bar of soap in the shower.
In six and a half seconds the windows go fogged up, the car seems to float in a foggy paradise, but with the temperature of hell, you are sweeping in a cloud, composed mostly of the drops of your lovely,
bleeding sweat, mixing like wet and horny tributary rivers.
Meanwhile in the front seat you see a guy who puts more water on the stones of the sauna and the steam comes out slowly and two devils tease your ass and yell at you spitefully:
"Do you like pussy eeeeh ?! So now suffer motherfucker!"
You put your soaked hair backwards because their waterskiing onto your face, making you looking like a cow licked your head, basically like a mobster in cheap movies.
Then, slowly, the end of oxygen arrives, with the round face of a child, opens the car door and smiling at you, he raise his middle finger, with a nice smile on his puffy face.
So what now? We just stop? Oh no never! You can't right now!!
Meanwhile, outside the car, a tribe of American Indians starts a tribal and rhythmic dance around the hearth, the hearth is the car, nuff said.
The air is now about 180 degrees, you check if your ass is cooked, then if her ass is cooked, if both are done, put the grill on, everybody loves crunchy pork.
Take a few breath by raising your head and banging on the roof. The feeling of fainting is more and more your friend and try to hug you, without social distance.
The air you breathe is what you have already breathed and thrown back out a hundred times and it mixes with her, which has already been breathed and thrown back a hundred times, the thing is vaguely
romantic, the fact that you breathe your breaths and sniff your sweats. I mean yeah really romantic, kinda like Titanic movie, and it is, because you're both dying now.
In fact, the French call it "La Petite Mort" (the little death).
But despite her name, each of us runs to meet her, just wearing a big smile on the face."
What?
Get a room?
Pfft. Too easy man.
True Heroes doesn't "get a room". |
