FabSwingers.com forum: Your favourite Irish Insult

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I suppose the most typical one...

If he had brains he'd be dangerous...

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By *ashy85Man
over a year ago

Waterford

[Removed by poster at 05/08/20 13:51:29]

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By *ashy85Man
over a year ago

Waterford

When God was giving out brains he thought he said trains... and asked for a slow one..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's as much use as a chocolate fireguard

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By *NawtyCplCouple
over a year ago

Around and about

He has a face only his mammy could love.

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By *appytoadsCouple
over a year ago

West Dublin

Spanner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pleb

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By *assion and MoreCouple
over a year ago

Here and There, Monaghan

shite for brains

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By *olm_irishMan
over a year ago

naughtysville

Gob-shite...

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By *mmakWoman
over a year ago

Town

As useful as a ash tray on a motorbike

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

As thick as pig shit but only half as useful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A sniper wouldnt take ya out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More brains in a rocking horse

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By *assion and MoreCouple
over a year ago

Here and There, Monaghan

"shite for brains"

forgot that one - has to be the classic Irish insult

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By *eralt80Man
over a year ago

cork

The best part of you ran down the inside of your father’s leg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mothers egg must been expired

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

Can I ask what makes these insults irish? I was brought up in england and heard most of them over there too

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By *NawtyCplCouple
over a year ago

Around and about

Mouth like a busted couch

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Gee features

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get back in your box Bosco

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He has a face on him like a melted candle

He's got a face only a Mother could love

He fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

The best part of him ran down his father's leg

She had a face on her like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle

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By *B 4099Man
over a year ago

North West, Outer Letterkenny area

Jesus they are an awful dry shite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The head on that and the price of cabbage

Scaldy cat

Don't let the door hit you on the way out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The tide wouldnt take ya out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's got a face like a busted wellington!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Puss on him/ her like a bulldog chewing a wasp

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By *ork ClassCouple
over a year ago

Cork

Langer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Langer"

My absolute favourite saying ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A fanny on her like a pulled out fireplace ??

Dont judge just heard it and I thought it was funny ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gombeen

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Have ye a match?

Ye your face and my arse

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west

Shut up you dipstick

You plonker

Ok so they are English insults so sue me

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By *ornyfireCouple
over a year ago

Middle Earth

As useless as tits on a bull.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The best part of you ran down the inside of your father’s leg"

Was Full Metal Jacket based on Spike Island?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shut up you dipstick

You plonker

Ok so they are English insults so sue me

Gombeen

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

Aye yer ma!!

Could eat an apple through a tennis racquet.

More brains in a false face.

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By *eralt80Man
over a year ago

cork

"The best part of you ran down the inside of your father’s leg

Was Full Metal Jacket based on Spike Island?

It’s a little known fact

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By *obshortMan
over a year ago

Cork

He/she has the IQ of a mushroom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah you have your shite!

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By *verage Joe BlackMan
over a year ago

Border Area

"Can I ask what makes these insults irish? I was brought up in england and heard most of them over there too

Simple: they’re on the Ireland forum..!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Head on him like a burst matress

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By *P_80Man
over a year ago

Waterford

You wouldn't beat snow off a rope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He/she's a pure "gowl"..

Stall da ball kid ..

"Telpis" aka God help us

"Nables" aka im not able for you

It's a limerick thing ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gowl / G'way out of it you gowl (which, and similar to the ones below, can be emphasised to use in a friendly banter way or a DANGER MOVE AWAY scenario

)

Langer.

Some thundering langer.

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By *he chef 45Man
over a year ago

Banbridge

"Have ye a match?

Ye your face and my arse"
if your arse is so beautiful why do you not show it................to give your face a chance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She had a face on her like a cow licking piss off a nettle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If that lad had gun powder for brains he wouldn’t blow a hole in his arse

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By *he James gangCouple
over a year ago

NEWTOWNABBEY

Yer ma makes sh*t roasties

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By *eralt80Man
over a year ago

cork

Ya langer ( in a thick Cork accent)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Body of Nadine Coyle, face of Anne Doyle.

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By *razy-CplCouple
over a year ago

Cork and surrounding areas

When speaking about someone hurling.......... he wouldn't bate snow off a rope or he wouldn't bate flies off a shite.

Mr crazy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"smell your ma".

"employ your da"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aye your ma's your da

Absolutely no idea what it means tho lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your ma sells avon

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By *he SophisticatsCouple
over a year ago

Casa Del PURRRR!!

"Langer"

Just a simple but effective CLASSIC!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's seen more Mickeys than Walt Disney

Wouldn't ride them into battle

If he had pedals I wouldnt ride him

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By *couseratMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

I know it isn't spelt correctly

Pogue ma-hone.

There is/was a pub in Liverpool called that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look like something a crow shit out in the famine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shite hawk..thundering bollix.. Ass hat

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By *razy-CplCouple
over a year ago

Cork and surrounding areas

If there was work in the bed he'd sleep on the floor .

Mr crazy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you get the number of the Bus ( The one that ran over your Face )..

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By *ffit101Man
over a year ago

Cork and West Cork

They look like vinegar smells.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As useful as a ash tray on a motorbike "

As much use as ejector seats on a helicopter

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By *man79Man
over a year ago

newry dundalk. warrenpoint

Ya have a head on ya like a bastard cat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scarlet for your ma for havin you

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By *omm000161Man
over a year ago

dublin

"Scarlet for your ma for havin you "

That's my fav.

Or Joyce's: thick lugged sons of bastards ghosts.

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By *ome_wild_girlWoman
over a year ago

Antrim Town

Tube or spoon, usually prefixed with the town they come from.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ya wouldn't see a hole in a ladder

You're as mean as Dykewater

You're as thick as two double Ditches

You've a head like a shiv

Is there anything between your ears .

What are you moping around for ( in other words get the fuck out )

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By *r zipsMan
over a year ago

City centre

I'm going to call you thrush because you're one irritating c***

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By *ex coupleCouple
over a year ago

wexford

"I know it isn't spelt correctly

Pogue ma-hone.

There is/was a pub in Liverpool called that."

Only actual proper Irish sayin

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By *ex coupleCouple
over a year ago

wexford

He’s as fucking Awkward as Tits on a frog

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By *ulu00Woman
over a year ago

Donegal

As useful as a chocolate tae pot

What a fucking arsehole

Id rather shite in my hands and clap than deal with you

I wouldnt ride you if you were the last horse in the stable

Aye well your Ma

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By *cottybear74Man
over a year ago

kilkenny

I wouldn't ride that into battle.

The tide wouldn't take it out.

As useful as a screen door on a submarine.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I suppose the most typical one...

If he had brains he'd be dangerous..."

Can add to that.

If he had 2 brains he’d be twice as stupid

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By *agherafeltmanMan
over a year ago

magherafelt

As much use as a trapdoor in a canoe

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By *agherafeltmanMan
over a year ago

magherafelt

If brains was dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you get your hair done or come here on a motorbike?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A sandwich short of a picnic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your ma sells avon"

Yer da sells Avon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ur as usefull as a chocolatte teapot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your a gluebag is my all time fave

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By *ingleStud85Man
over a year ago

Donegal

Giloot

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By *iquidRavenMan
over a year ago

Dublin

He's got a head like a bag of Mickies

I'd defo put a saddle on her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You cabbage

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By *uriousVoyeurMan
over a year ago

Northside

If his IQ was 1 lower he'd be a plant!

If his IQ was any lower he'd trip over it!

If he swallowed a fly he'd have a bigger brain in his stomach than he does in his head!

Her fanny is that wide you feel like a dog wagging his tail in an empty bucket!

And finally....let's play a game called Fuck Off,you go first!!!

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By *ockhard and SweetcheeksCouple
over a year ago

City

"She/he wud get up on a gust of wind" or

"I wudnt piss on him/her if she was on fire"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As useless as tits on a bull

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By *un_guy_69Man
over a year ago

Lim Tipp border

You geebag. I think that's truly irish?

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By *ork fellaMan
over a year ago

Macroom

Your a perfect bollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the dirty pox"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Up till now he thought manual labour was the Spanish workers name

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/08/20 22:58:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I'd a garden full of cocks I wouldn't leave her look over the ditch

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By *exy Saucy SocialsCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

Wouldn't get over ya to get over a wall

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By *winger212Woman
over a year ago

not in clare, live in spain

I'll cut the snot off ya!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hes that mean hed peel and orange in his pocket.

Mainly because i hate mean people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of this are brill

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By *ayo galwayMan
over a year ago

Centre

The tide would not take you out

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By *upermanslovechildMan
over a year ago

Glasnevin

Has a face like a sack of spanners.

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By *oo32Man
over a year ago

tipperary

Ya bleedin washer

A head on him like a slapped arse

As thick as 2 short planks

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

A neck like a jockeys bollox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As tall as lamp post but not half as bright.

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By *arkmandy69Couple
over a year ago

waterford

shes taken more loads then the washing machine.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"shes taken more loads then the washing machine."

First time to hear this absolutely disgusting but funny as fuck insult

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hes that mean hed peel and orange in his pocket."

While wearing boxing gloves.

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By *urious g300Man
over a year ago

Galway

Is (short arse) an insult

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By *ulu00Woman
over a year ago

Donegal

Hed get up on his granny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You absolute total idiot!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A friend said this about one of the managers at work

“That cunt couldn’t run a bath”

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By *he SophisticatsCouple
over a year ago

Casa Del PURRRR!!

You’re as worn out as an aul tinkers tool!

(Aka “You’re fucked”)

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

There’s more brains in a fish supper

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

It's mostly a Carlow saying but Quar.....jeeze that's quar funny or omg that's quar fast...

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By *irSub3Couple
over a year ago

Northern Ireland

"Aye your ma's your da

Absolutely no idea what it means tho lol"

That’s a favourite

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By *ubeMan
over a year ago

Drogheda

That one over there has a face like a shot turnip.

She has a face like a half eating toffee.

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By *erlincorkMan
over a year ago

Cork/London

When someone just doesn’t get it...

“I’m sorry... I don’t have the patience, time or crayons to explain this in a way you’ll understand!”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/08/20 00:02:43]

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

you've a face on you like a bag of spanners

You've a body like an unmade bed

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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago

Cork

Gowl, sleeveen or langer are about as cutting as you can get (the latter dependent on the tone it’s delivered with). There are some great Irish ones like:

Go mbrise an diabhal do chnámha = That the Devil will break your bones

Mallacht na baintrí ort = A widow’s curse upon you

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By *ashy85Man
over a year ago

Waterford

If you were a chocolate bar... Ya would eat yourself!

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"Gowl, sleeveen or langer are about as cutting as you can get (the latter dependent on the tone it’s delivered with). There are some great Irish ones like:

Go mbrise an diabhal do chnámha = That the Devil will break your bones

Mallacht na baintrí ort = A widow’s curse upon you"

I vaguely remember some Irish ones from my least favourite book ever Peig

That sounded great

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By *ablo57Man
over a year ago

Tipperary/Limerick

Gowlbag

Absolute misfortune

Bog goblin

You're father should have just had a wank

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the two ends of a useless cu*t."

"a proper clartypaps"

"yer looking well. been good to yourself lately?"

"keep talking...dya want me to call you the ambulance now or later"

"your mother be so proud of you"

"you? yer not a patch on yer auld fella...for being a cu*t."

"sure youse wans were raised on the dole"

;-)

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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago

Cork

"If you were a chocolate bar... Ya would eat yourself!"

If he could turn around quick enough, he’d ride himself... Largely associated with an certain conceited ex Taoiseach.

If (s)he was a lollipop, (s)he’d lick himself/ herself.

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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago

Cork

"Gowl, sleeveen or langer are about as cutting as you can get (the latter dependent on the tone it’s delivered with). There are some great Irish ones like:

Go mbrise an diabhal do chnámha = That the Devil will break your bones

Mallacht na baintrí ort = A widow’s curse upon you

I vaguely remember some Irish ones from my least favourite book ever Peig

That sounded great "

May you be plagued by a powerful itch and never have the nails to scratch it!

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By *oiraTvTV/TS
over a year ago

Derry

"Body of Nadine Coyle, face of Anne Doyle."

I Google Anne Doyle... I think she quite sexy. Older, mature lady like her would turn me on more than Nadine Coyle. Guess I am pretty rare.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What s the crack

my favourite part of a woman

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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago

north and south

" What s the crack

my favourite part of a woman "
More like cappuccino then Al Pacino

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By *loria_cdxTV/TS
over a year ago

west

Sorry girls’

Their all split with the one axe-

Some with the back off it!!!!!

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By *loria_cdxTV/TS
over a year ago

west

Your Mothers a Man!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dad used to say “he’s the biggest bastard that ever wore a coat”

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"I'd say you must come from a long line of gob-shites"

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"Now, I'd love to stand and talk

....but you're giving me an awful pain in the arse"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The tide wouldn't take her/him out and he/she has a face like a melted Wellington

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That one is so ugly they had to tie a bone around her neck as a kid so the dog would play with her

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"I wouldn't even give her one with yours"

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By *jallMan
over a year ago

Cork/Sligo

"Shite hawk..thundering bollix.. Ass hat"

Shitehawk! Haven't heard it in years, since I moved away, classic!

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By *ulu00Woman
over a year ago

Donegal

Wouldnt ride him if he was the last horse in the stable

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By *ulu00Woman
over a year ago

Donegal

Also a firm favourite

The best part of you ran down your mothers leg

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By *uriousVoyeurMan
over a year ago

Northside

"Also a firm favourite

The best part of you ran down your mothers leg "

And ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!!! As quoted by Gunnery Sgt Hartman in full metal jacket!!!

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By *jallMan
over a year ago

Cork/Sligo

Who lit the fuse on Your tampon???

(10 times the effect when said to males)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As useful as a bull with tits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ya Bowsey

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By *oxminxCouple
over a year ago

NaughtyVille *×* Laois

Has to be "ya stuke"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has to be "ya stuke""

Never heard that before

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By *oxminxCouple
over a year ago

NaughtyVille *×* Laois

Oh my God. She's for a spanking.

Mel called me that for months, when we dirst met, until I eventually discovered it was a culchies version of the word Gobshite.

Andy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That fucking Gobshite !!

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Cock-womble or

I wouldn't even ride her into battle

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I was once told in the Lounge that I would be hotter if I wasn't Irish. Does that count?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

C’mere til i tell ya to fuck off

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"I was once told in the Lounge that I would be hotter if I wasn't Irish. Does that count?

What

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By *inkywife1981Couple
over a year ago

A town near you

He Couldn't hit a cows arse with a shovel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"clown". Something about calling someone a clown is very satisfying

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

I think the Scots are the best at creative insulting to be honest . There are very few actual Irish ones in this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My teacher use to tell me empty vessels make the most noise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jinnit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ya Langer

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By *ohnFKMan
over a year ago

Where the Streets Have No Name

"What kind of a feckin' eejit?

It's the simple ones

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By *ocktailsdreamsMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

If brains were made of cotton wool you wouldn't have enough to make a tampon for a barbie doll

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""clown". Something about calling someone a clown is very satisfying

That one does seem to trigger an angry response

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Yer ma

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By *usietranslutTV/TS
over a year ago

carlow

Tá tú go haneolach le cúl mo liathróidí na fhaca ríomh ach cac

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By *ischief2020Man
over a year ago

Borderline

"Can I ask what makes these insults irish? I was brought up in england and heard most of them over there too

Did you have ‘She’s only a GeeBag’ too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yea fuckin geeeebag

. Ahhh here leave it out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah it is pretty funny with peoe saying ahhh fuck off you big clown ??

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By *ornyandwellhungMan
over a year ago

belfast

There used to be one, as useless as balls on a bishop, haven’t heard it in a while

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By *addubMan
over a year ago

dublin. 12

"A neck like a jockeys bollox "
& twice as smelly

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By *heeky_BudgieMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Being Scottish, I’ll accept this challenge!

Ya Bawbag

Thick as shite in the neck o’ a bottle.

If beauty’s skin deep, you must be inside oot.

(If someone’s always lucky) I bet if you fell in The Clyde you’d come oot wi’ a salmon an’ a diver’s wages.

Ya Fucking Bampot.

Away an’ boil yer heid.

I hope the next time ye get a stauner* you run oot o’ skin

Smell Yer Maw

Ah coulda been yer Da, but a dug beat me up the stair.

If his brains were shite, there widnea be a smell.

Ya Fanny

Fannybaws

(If someone is tight with money) He’d no even gee ye a sniff o’ his shite.

Look, someone’s shaved their arse and taught it tae talk.

Yer Maw wears Army Boots.

*Stauner. Slang for an erection. Stand-er. Staun-er.

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By *heeky_BudgieMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Bollocks. Pressed the wrong button. I meant to quote the message that said the Scots have good insults.

What a fanny I am.

Actually, that’s reminded me of another one... a slang term for a fanny / c*nt is “Fud”.

That’s used plenty in insulting someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go FK a Duck...

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By *ichiebigMan
over a year ago

nenagh

You would bring her home with a tow rope

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By *hickerThanUrAverageCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

[Removed by poster at 22/10/20 00:31:14]

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By *hickerThanUrAverageCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

You'd fight over your own toenails (meaning you're argumentative)

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By *emper-fudgeMan
over a year ago

Blackrock

The wind wouldnt go up her skirt

Mad as a bag of spiders

Face like dot cotton licking piss off a nettle

Head like a melted wellie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go FK a Duck..."

Haha haven't heard that one in years

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