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Honest! Who is stuck in a boring marriage or is that marriage??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could never leave, yes after so many years life becomes boring, but I could not start over again and I think she is the same, growing old together like 2 friends is not the worst thing to do. In most cases its the men that are boring and the wife is probably wishing her life away secretly dreaming of what ifs.

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

Its pretty sad actually, could be some one out there for you, you just dont know it yet.

Life is too short to just accept your situation.

Life is for living.

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By *erYnnMan
over a year ago

Drogheda


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!"

Yes, keep the focus on the 'happy' bit...

Perhaps you might like to consider sharing your 'bored' feelings with your partner...

Perhaps she is also, and discussing could be a first step to to resolving...

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By *unnitoesWoman
over a year ago

Belfast


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!"

Possibly at the point where a wife discovers her husband is on a swinging site....would that class as destruction?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its pretty sad actually, could be some one out there for you, you just dont know it yet.

Life is too short to just accept your situation.

Life is for living. "

We have produced a few great kids, nearly 20 but I just don’t know what to do. Choice 1 is go on, Maybe get to be with another sexually by hook or crook. Choice 2, separate, lose the love of my kids, not to mention the financial consequences.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!

Possibly at the point where a wife discovers her husband is on a swinging site....would that class as destruction?"

Oh please. No need to be so high grounded!! I’m just throwing my honest situation out there. Fucks sake!!

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By *unnitoesWoman
over a year ago

Belfast


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!

Possibly at the point where a wife discovers her husband is on a swinging site....would that class as destruction?

Oh please. No need to be so high grounded!! I’m just throwing my honest situation out there. Fucks sake!!"

You asked a question, I answered it....no need to be so defensive

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area


"Its pretty sad actually, could be some one out there for you, you just dont know it yet.

Life is too short to just accept your situation.

Life is for living.

We have produced a few great kids, nearly 20 but I just don’t know what to do. Choice 1 is go on, Maybe get to be with another sexually by hook or crook. Choice 2, separate, lose the love of my kids, not to mention the financial consequences. "
perhaps try being honest with her?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!

Possibly at the point where a wife discovers her husband is on a swinging site....would that class as destruction?

Oh please. No need to be so high grounded!! I’m just throwing my honest situation out there. Fucks sake!!

You asked a question, I answered it....no need to be so defensive "

Sure why do you think I’m on here in the first place! Lots of “single “ profiles here and they are not single, please , just respect my original post, if you only have stones then I will defend!

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

What if she made the decision?

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By *unnitoesWoman
over a year ago

Belfast


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!

Possibly at the point where a wife discovers her husband is on a swinging site....would that class as destruction?

Oh please. No need to be so high grounded!! I’m just throwing my honest situation out there. Fucks sake!!

You asked a question, I answered it....no need to be so defensive

Sure why do you think I’m on here in the first place! Lots of “single “ profiles here and they are not single, please , just respect my original post, if you only have stones then I will defend! "

I did respect your original post....you asked at what point does one suck it up, did you not?

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By *avana_oh_na_naWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

Here's an outlandish idea, why don't you go talk to your wife? Maybe if you focused your energy into your relationship instead of getting some stealthy strange youd become less bored in a less toxic way?

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Is that a typo...nearly 20 kids

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its pretty sad actually, could be some one out there for you, you just dont know it yet.

Life is too short to just accept your situation.

Life is for living.

We have produced a few great kids, nearly 20 but I just don’t know what to do. Choice 1 is go on, Maybe get to be with another sexually by hook or crook. Choice 2, separate, lose the love of my kids, not to mention the financial consequences. perhaps try being honest with her?

"

I have tried but she thinks the whole fun with others is nonsense . I’m not bragging and I’m genuinely not, I’m fit, love nakedness, as vain as feck, crave other flesh but I’m married. Am I the asshole??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!

Possibly at the point where a wife discovers her husband is on a swinging site....would that class as destruction?

Oh please. No need to be so high grounded!! I’m just throwing my honest situation out there. Fucks sake!!

You asked a question, I answered it....no need to be so defensive

Sure why do you think I’m on here in the first place! Lots of “single “ profiles here and they are not single, please , just respect my original post, if you only have stones then I will defend!

I did respect your original post....you asked at what point does one suck it up, did you not? "

So basically suck it up! And fair enough if that is what I should do. I’ve been so responsible for 27 years!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is that a typo...nearly 20 kids "

I was thinking the same thing, bloody hell hes been busy lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I need to grow a pair!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is that a typo...nearly 20 kids

I was thinking the same thing, bloody hell hes been busy lol"

Lol, 3 great kids, 2 nearby 20 , 1 teen

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area


"Its pretty sad actually, could be some one out there for you, you just dont know it yet.

Life is too short to just accept your situation.

Life is for living.

We have produced a few great kids, nearly 20 but I just don’t know what to do. Choice 1 is go on, Maybe get to be with another sexually by hook or crook. Choice 2, separate, lose the love of my kids, not to mention the financial consequences. perhaps try being honest with her?

I have tried but she thinks the whole fun with others is nonsense . I’m not bragging and I’m genuinely not, I’m fit, love nakedness, as vain as feck, crave other flesh but I’m married. Am I the asshole??"
you are not an asshole if you tell her the truth that you want to be with others, if she doesn’t understand that’s her choice but to live your life without the experience i pity you.

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area


"I need to grow a pair!"
yes you do

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Anyone I was hoping others might be similar in this, but may I shouldn’t be here!

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.

There are people here who simply want to win an argument, not enter into honest discussion with you OP. I cant advise you on s forum like this. Your situation is very common, but most couples like to give the impression that everything is perfect, but often its not. I understand your reluctance to talk to your wife about this, the outcome could be catastrophic , when all you want is an honest discussion about how you feel about your relationship. Its inevitable that a partnership changes over the years, as both age, and develop. Its unlikely both will develop in the same way, so both must recognise this. Neither party owns the other, and seeking happiness shouldn't necessarily mean the end of a family and economic partnership. Something has to change, and maybe your question here is the start of that change.

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By *allyWally19Woman
over a year ago

The Road to Nowhere


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!"

My parents split up when I was like 10. In hindsight, they were happier apart at that time. I wouldn't say it f*cked me up however, they told me as I was having oxtail soup for lunch...ain't had it since. But what I'm saying is, maybe 'sucking it up for the kids' is not the best reason in the world for staying with someone.

My parents did get back together at my 18th...which was weird AF! But hey, they were happy & loved up.

Ultimately (and yes, some may not agree), it should come down to loving someone & being in love with them imo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its much bigger than just husband and wife, 3 kids to think about, and parents still alive etc too maybe, so much hurt caused by break ups its really a last resort, if things are civil between you just have some fun elsewhere when you need it.

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By *allyWally19Woman
over a year ago

The Road to Nowhere

Just read through the comments there. And these bits do make you seem like kinda an asshole imo


"

I have tried but she thinks the whole fun with others is nonsense"

To dismiss her feelings on swinging as nonsense...OK I wasn't there for the convo & now sweet f*ck all about your relationship but dud she actually use the word 'nonsense' or did she express the fact that she doesn't want to try it?


"I’m not bragging and I’m genuinely not, I’m fit, love nakedness, as vain as feck"

The vanity....yea. I get tooting your own horn (no pun intended) but that does say asshole to me

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By *avana_oh_na_naWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Just read through the comments there. And these bits do make you seem like kinda an asshole imo

I have tried but she thinks the whole fun with others is nonsense

To dismiss her feelings on swinging as nonsense...OK I wasn't there for the convo & now sweet f*ck all about your relationship but dud she actually use the word 'nonsense' or did she express the fact that she doesn't want to try it?

I’m not bragging and I’m genuinely not, I’m fit, love nakedness, as vain as feck

The vanity....yea. I get tooting your own horn (no pun intended) but that does say asshole to me"

Glad somebody said it. Chap just wants everyone to agree he's right. He's not, he's so wrapped up in himself that he's willing to ruin his whole life to dip his wick. Its sad really.

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!"

You might be better shifting this topic to the France forum. They're less moralistic and more broadminded over there, about affairs and extramarital fun.

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By *arriedirishCouple
over a year ago

Derry


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!

Possibly at the point where a wife discovers her husband is on a swinging site....would that class as destruction?"

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By *arriedirishCouple
over a year ago

Derry


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!

Possibly at the point where a wife discovers her husband is on a swinging site....would that class

as destruction?"

I think you might be onto something

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

[Removed by poster at 04/08/20 01:26:30]

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

Tough situation OP.

Another conversation with wife is required.

I advise writing everything down on paper, in advance, or the points you want to discuss may get lost in possibly heated discussion of specifics.

If that happens, hand her the paper and let her read it in her own time.

That's what I'm thinking of doing anyway.

PS - have yet to get the cojones to do this myself, so speaking from a sympathetic and, unfortunately, pathetic wuss place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's very simple in this life

K I s s

Keep it simple stupid

Keep it black and white

Be honest to yourself and after 27 years couple kids you owe it to her aswell

To be honest .

Yes my friend you need to man up FAMILY FIRST honesty and respect always

And I hope all works out for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m going to probably get flamed for my opinion

But if you’re in a long term relationship show your partner love and affection and make time to have sex with them or accept that they may get it somewhere else if you are rejecting them .

I certainly don’t think it’s fair that one person decides the end of a sex life for two people

Female prospective here

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"Its pretty sad actually, could be some one out there for you, you just dont know it yet.

Life is too short to just accept your situation.

Life is for living.

We have produced a few great kids, nearly 20 but I just don’t know what to do. Choice 1 is go on, Maybe get to be with another sexually by hook or crook. Choice 2, separate, lose the love of my kids, not to mention the financial consequences. perhaps try being honest with her?

I have tried but she thinks the whole fun with others is nonsense . I’m not bragging and I’m genuinely not, I’m fit, love nakedness, as vain as feck, crave other flesh but I’m married. Am I the asshole??"

Yes. Sort out your marriage or leave. Don't betray the person who has devoted their life to loving you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It makes no difference what type of marriage you are in, repect , honesty and trust should b maintained at all times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only person who cares or knows the true situation here is your spouse, the one with whom you should be having an honest discussion.

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By *irewolffMan
over a year ago

Dublin

You need to be very honest with her. Tell her everything.

If you arent happy after that...you need to make a proper decision. Being dishonest to yourself and her long term isnt right....IMO. why live a life of lies???

If you arent happy, get out because thay unhappiness will manifest itself somewhere along the lines and affect your kids etc. I wish my ex had the balls to say he wasnt happy rather than lie and cheat for years. It would have been far better and I would have respected him more.

MsD

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"Its pretty sad actually, could be some one out there for you, you just dont know it yet.

Life is too short to just accept your situation.

Life is for living.

We have produced a few great kids, nearly 20 but I just don’t know what to do. Choice 1 is go on, Maybe get to be with another sexually by hook or crook. Choice 2, separate, lose the love of my kids, not to mention the financial consequences. "

Those aren't the only 2 options.. Sex therapy is a thing. If you are able to communicate with your wife about the problems you are having together then you could maybe look at getting help. There may be a good reason she doesn't want to fuck you. Maybe she got bored faking, maybe there is a physical medical issue, maybe you guys need to spice things up, maybe there is a hormonal problem. I wouldn't rush straight to thinking its hopeless.

I'm the end if that doesn't work then seperation DOES NOT mean you lose the love of your kids. I'm a seperated dad and I have a fantastic relationship with my kids. They have 2 homes and spend loads of time with us both and are dearly loved by mum and dad. Sure you'd have a big financial mess to deal with but you'd also have your integrity and future happiness. Maybe she would be able to find someone she was more compatible with also.

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham


"Is that a typo...nearly 20 kids

I was thinking the same thing, bloody hell hes been busy lol

Lol, 3 great kids, 2 nearby 20 , 1 teen "

Twins...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!"

Thus has all the symptoms of " the grass is greener " ..so if thats the case maybe try watering and treating your own place ...and another thing to keep in mind is how would you feel if your wife said to you that she wanted to fuck someone else ,did ,then she discovered that she was missing out on Unbelievable sex all this time ...but believe me ,the fallout from marriage breakdown is just devastating... Absolutely no winners...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!

Thus has all the symptoms of " the grass is greener " ..so if thats the case maybe try watering and treating your own place ...and another thing to keep in mind is how would you feel if your wife said to you that she wanted to fuck someone else ,did ,then she discovered that she was missing out on Unbelievable sex all this time ...but believe me ,the fallout from marriage breakdown is just devastating... Absolutely no winners..."

Not to mention that while swinging may look good from outside, it can be a cruel place for the older single male.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!

Thus has all the symptoms of " the grass is greener " ..so if thats the case maybe try watering and treating your own place ...and another thing to keep in mind is how would you feel if your wife said to you that she wanted to fuck someone else ,did ,then she discovered that she was missing out on Unbelievable sex all this time ...but believe me ,the fallout from marriage breakdown is just devastating... Absolutely no winners...

Not to mention that while swinging may look good from outside, it can be a cruel place for the older single male."

Many thanks for advice. I think we just need to talk. I can make some comment and it can turn mood off me for days. I’m on this for chats because I don’t believe I’m only one.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

You could look into a open relationship arrangement with your partner. Means you stay together but are allowed to have the occasional fuck with a third party.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk talk talk talk. Be open and transparent and do not turn the conversation into a weapon of blame. Separated Dad here also. We didn't talk. Then it became too late. Plenty of times over the years thought it would never end and when it does it hits you like a bag of spanners in Dodge ball. BUT then you rediscover you. Not the secret you but the real you AND what you put into your kids you will get back 10 fold. If you are honest and up front there are 2 possible outcomes - you talk and solve things and stay together or you talk and solve things and split in an amicable controlled way and that includes finances. It can happen and that's the path we ended on ultimately but it does require stones, it does require calm (bloody hard) and it does require being honest with yourself first and foremost about what you really want - and a find, fuck, forget on a swing site isn't going to solve marital unhappiness.....just my perspective.

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town


"Its pretty sad actually, could be some one out there for you, you just dont know it yet.

Life is too short to just accept your situation.

Life is for living.

We have produced a few great kids, nearly 20 but I just don’t know what to do. Choice 1 is go on, Maybe get to be with another sexually by hook or crook. Choice 2, separate, lose the love of my kids, not to mention the financial consequences. "
have you spoke to your wife if you value your marriage the key is talking you still have to work at a marriage. Your wife could agree things need yo change try counselling if you both have hit a wall but staying with someone for financial consequences is not fair on you nor your wife

And if you do both decide to separate why loose the love of your children plenty families in separation don't mean you lose your kids love . Do something about it .

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By *ublinguy83Man
over a year ago

south dublin

I left my wife about 5 years ago & couldn’t be any happier now! Best think I ever done.

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By *sLittleRedRidingHoodWoman
over a year ago

Magical Forrest

If kids are all grown up,you are not happy,then have the balls and leave ...

Dont look for justification,and expecting strangers to tell you its okay to cheat on your wife....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!"

Maybe you could tell her how you feel and let her also make her decision.

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By *ucianpoundCouple
over a year ago

Cap d’Agde, France


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!

Maybe you could tell her how you feel and let her also make her decision."

Agree, dialogue is the answer I think.

Twenty years ago I told my wife that for me our marriage had become a prison.

We agreed then on an open relationship, not ideal because our lovers wanted more than we could give since we wanted to stay in our prime relationship but then that opened the door to swinging and we’ve never looked back.

My wife would never have considered it before but bit by bit we got there together to save our marriage,

Just talk to her!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was on that side, cheated on with a so called friend of mine on fab, trust me it all comes out eventually, best thing is to be honest. If you aren't happy in the relationship, move on, easier said than done but not much can it be done, life is far too short to waste it on the what ifs.

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By *ub_leitrim_guyMan
over a year ago

Out in the sticks


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!"

So, you are happily!!married but intensely bored...

Do you make that possibly massive destructive decision??

Can you think of something that will take boredom away?

A Romantic Weekend together away from kids, for example. Even only a few miles from home!

Maybe she is bored and sucking it up for the kids too?

.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your not the only one flames come and go in marriage but at the end of the day you need to ask each other are you happy if not why and the best out come to be happy, worst case ye split up and it will be shit for months but gets better, ur kids are grown up they will understand and if you and there mother agree to split they will not hate you or lose respect for you, honesty is best policy and sooner the better

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By *ongueandgroove555Couple
over a year ago

Waterford


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!"

OP your prob not going to get the answers on a forum. Marital problems, and I speak as someone previously in your position although a little more complicated, will only ever be solved by the people in the marriage. Talk to your wife, go to a marriqge Councellor be honest and open and try work through the problems. Just remember there's more to a marriage than sex. Then in the end if there isn't going to be compromise and understanding from both parties then you can at least make an informed decision. But treat your marriage with the respect she and you deserve and talk it out. Best of luck

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!

Maybe you could tell her how you feel and let her also make her decision.

Agree, dialogue is the answer I think.

Twenty years ago I told my wife that for me our marriage had become a prison.

We agreed then on an open relationship, not ideal because our lovers wanted more than we could give since we wanted to stay in our prime relationship but then that opened the door to swinging and we’ve never looked back.

My wife would never have considered it before but bit by bit we got there together to save our marriage,

Just talk to her!"
Fantastic

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By *ashy85Man
over a year ago

Waterford

[Removed by poster at 05/08/20 03:07:42]

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By *atmite1970Man
over a year ago

Galway


"I’m going to probably get flamed for my opinion

But if you’re in a long term relationship show your partner love and affection and make time to have sex with them or accept that they may get it somewhere else if you are rejecting them .

I certainly don’t think it’s fair that one person decides the end of a sex life for two people

Female prospective here"

Well said, lots of people here sit on a high chair on high moral ground without having a clue what the are talking about. If your wife does not want to hear what you have to say. Has lost interest but loves you and you love her. It’s not just black and white like some say. Their is a lot of colour also. My wife would not want me here but also would not have much interest in a sexual life. I love her but miss the sexual contact. I have talked for 15 years about it, still do but it causes a lot of pain and argument so not just as easy as some might think sitting up on that high stool. Now I know what I say will not be popular but it’s just the facts for some people out their. Easy to judge from the outside let’s hope you are a lot easier on yourself in years to come if you find yourself in a similar situation

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By *unnitoesWoman
over a year ago

Belfast


"I’m going to probably get flamed for my opinion

But if you’re in a long term relationship show your partner love and affection and make time to have sex with them or accept that they may get it somewhere else if you are rejecting them .

I certainly don’t think it’s fair that one person decides the end of a sex life for two people

Female prospective here

Well said, lots of people here sit on a high chair on high moral ground without having a clue what the are talking about. If your wife does not want to hear what you have to say. Has lost interest but loves you and you love her. It’s not just black and white like some say. Their is a lot of colour also. My wife would not want me here but also would not have much interest in a sexual life. I love her but miss the sexual contact. I have talked for 15 years about it, still do but it causes a lot of pain and argument so not just as easy as some might think sitting up on that high stool. Now I know what I say will not be popular but it’s just the facts for some people out their. Easy to judge from the outside let’s hope you are a lot easier on yourself in years to come if you find yourself in a similar situation "

Lots of people here also have their 'highground' opinions through devastating and heartbreaking experiences that they are not prepared to discuss on a public forum, myself included. So yes, yes not everything is black and white from any perspective x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!"

“Happily married” clearly not. One does not cheat if they are happy. One finds a solution and a way to make more happiness.

So many attached people here in “ sexless marriages and relationships “ looking for human touch and an ego boost.

The smell of disrespect is foul.

Op if you are “happily married” then ignite that spark, be spontaneous find the women you fell in love with, if however you don’t want to or have no motivation to do that for her or yourself then please leave. Give her the chance to find happiness, real happiness.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for all comments. Genuinely sorry I put up post, combination of frustration, few beers and horniness released my feelings. Clearly some, as in previous post hold me in disgust and I never meant for that . Wish I could delete post. Please, no more comments

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town


"Thanks for all comments. Genuinely sorry I put up post, combination of frustration, few beers and horniness released my feelings. Clearly some, as in previous post hold me in disgust and I never meant for that . Wish I could delete post. Please, no more comments"
what goes in d*unk comes out sober

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By *astMidsCouple555Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

Depends how you define boring

Get some walks in, watch some good dramas and films, audio books together, radio 4, music. Much more do you want? Revise your expectations. Nor every day is full of excitement, thankfully

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly in relationship - no sex/affection for years very unhappy

Cannot afford financially to seperate nor wish to cause hurt

Just carry on

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By *orny-angelWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

Ask yourself a few questions

When was the last time you worked on your marriage?

When was the last time you bought your wife flowers just because - not birthday, mothers day etc

When was the last time ye went out for a romantic meal or romantic takeaway meal

How long have you been inactive in the relationship with one foot out door

Things get boring because people get comfortable, in a rut, stop talking etc Ye need to talk & not just about the daily boring stuff, You need to show her some attention (youre on here for chats, an emotional connection try it at home), show her you love her as people get complacent over time & think just the words will do.....it might work it mightnt but opening door for honest communication, taking a step back into relationship & actively working on things, showing love etc could be the start to something stronger, more intense.

If in end ye decide to walk away at least then there are no what ifs, i could have tried, maybes...you know you tried, were honest, did things for her etc. The kids will respect you more for that then just running & not being honest or trying anything before giving up on nearly 3 decades

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By *verage Joe BlackMan
over a year ago

Border Area

Have you ever considered buying a Jack Russell..?

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"I’m going to probably get flamed for my opinion

But if you’re in a long term relationship show your partner love and affection and make time to have sex with them or accept that they may get it somewhere else if you are rejecting them .

I certainly don’t think it’s fair that one person decides the end of a sex life for two people

Female prospective here"

I agree. I wasn't even going to post on this thread to be honest because you usually do get shot down. Life is not black and white there are so many grey areas as well. It's not always someone getting a thrill from meeting others. I've friends who are in marriages that have made them so unhappy and despite making every effort to make it work nothing changes. I myself while I have never been married have been in that situation for years. And after years of being made feel like I was invisible and not worth it despite trying to talk etc yes I did leave. But had I been married I probably wouldn't have. It was the hardest thing I did and yes now I can see it was for the best but that took me over 10 years to realise.But I know if I had kids or married I probably would have stayed. You can be more lonely in a relationship at times than if you are single so it's no surprise that some look elsewhere. And everyone saying the op should make an effort yes he should but then so should his partner if you are the one always making the effort and get nothing back eventually you stop as well there are only so many times someone can take being rejected by someone you care about.

So no I don't judge married people for being on here because the grey areas are so large and everyone has there own reasons for being here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said - Thank you for that comment

No-one from outside can judge !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well said - Thank you for that comment

No-one from outside can judge !!"

And the trouble is, we only get one side of the story, there's always three, his, hers, and the truth.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary


"Well said - Thank you for that comment

No-one from outside can judge !!

And the trouble is, we only get one side of the story, there's always three, his, hers, and the truth."
rarely we agree but spot on with this. There is 3 sides to every story.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who split from a wife of 20+ yrs, I can honestly say for me, it's a hard thing to split. Ultimately, although we were both feeling like it had run it's course, it was just easier to keep going than think of breaking up. Once we cleared the air with it, things became a lot more bearable, oddly. Obviously we both had/have our bad days mentally/emotionally about it, but that's to be expected. As long as we stay friendly enough to help each other through it, we are both young ('ish) enough to start new lives - and once that chapter starts, it's a whole new book.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think everyone is going to have their own opinions on this and they are entitled to do so. I am married and have kids. My husband has little to no interest in sex or family life. He very work driven which I am fine with. When we do spend time together we get on great. Most of his work is overseas and I'm pretty sure he is seeing someone else. I am happy to stay where I am though doing what I am doing.

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By *orguyMan
over a year ago

Tuam


"Have you ever considered buying a Jack Russell..? "

Have you not seen the prices of Jack Russell's recently Joe???

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By *atmite1970Man
over a year ago

Galway


"I think everyone is going to have their own opinions on this and they are entitled to do so. I am married and have kids. My husband has little to no interest in sex or family life. He very work driven which I am fine with. When we do spend time together we get on great. Most of his work is overseas and I'm pretty sure he is seeing someone else. I am happy to stay where I am though doing what I am doing. "

Totally understand how you feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever considered buying a Jack Russell..?

Have you not seen the prices of Jack Russell's recently Joe???"

Sure they're going cheap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's budgies. Jack Russells just bark and nip the ankles constantly

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By *ountry Bumpkins69Couple
over a year ago

neverland


"I need to grow a pair!"

My hubby and I joined the site over 3 years ago because we both sat down and admitted that we wanted to have sex with other people , he was shocked when I admitted to him I felt the same , we have been together since we were 16 , and had no sexual experience at all ,we both admit we hadnt lived our teenage years at all but we are doing it now , we love each other very much and have beautiful children together , now everyone’s story on here is different and has to be respected , I’m not saying that if we hadn’t of had that chat that we wouldn’t be together today but I do feel that Fab saved our marriage and now we love our fab secret life , we love meeting couples together and we also meet separately and always come back to each other and tell all the juicy details ,you chose what u want to do with your life it is yours after all . Mrs B xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need to grow a pair!

My hubby and I joined the site over 3 years ago because we both sat down and admitted that we wanted to have sex with other people , he was shocked when I admitted to him I felt the same , we have been together since we were 16 , and had no sexual experience at all ,we both admit we hadnt lived our teenage years at all but we are doing it now , we love each other very much and have beautiful children together , now everyone’s story on here is different and has to be respected , I’m not saying that if we hadn’t of had that chat that we wouldn’t be together today but I do feel that Fab saved our marriage and now we love our fab secret life , we love meeting couples together and we also meet separately and always come back to each other and tell all the juicy details ,you chose what u want to do with your life it is yours after all . Mrs B xxxx "

Wow lucky ye.

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By *verage Joe BlackMan
over a year ago

Border Area


"Have you ever considered buying a Jack Russell..?

Have you not seen the prices of Jack Russell's recently Joe???

Sure they're going cheap."

Not the good ones. They end up in all kinds of adventures on this site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever considered buying a Jack Russell..?

Have you not seen the prices of Jack Russell's recently Joe???

Sure they're going cheap.

Not the good ones. They end up in all kinds of adventures on this site "

I have a feeling I'm missing something here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think everyone is going to have their own opinions on this and they are entitled to do so. I am married and have kids. My husband has little to no interest in sex or family life. He very work driven which I am fine with. When we do spend time together we get on great. Most of his work is overseas and I'm pretty sure he is seeing someone else. I am happy to stay where I am though doing what I am doing.

Totally understand how you feel. "

Thanks

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere


"Well said - Thank you for that comment

No-one from outside can judge !!

And the trouble is, we only get one side of the story, there's always three, his, hers, and the truth."

This.....right here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well said - Thank you for that comment

No-one from outside can judge !!

And the trouble is, we only get one side of the story, there's always three, his, hers, and the truth.

This.....right here."

Everyone's truth is going to be different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well said - Thank you for that comment

No-one from outside can judge !!

And the trouble is, we only get one side of the story, there's always three, his, hers, and the truth.

This.....right here.

Everyone's truth is going to be different. "

100% agree here and it won't make either party 100% right or wrong. Relationships are complicated enough in good times not to mind when there are stresses, strains and what not. Either way it's sad when it breaks down but people deserve to live their lives happy as another poster said.

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere


"Well said - Thank you for that comment

No-one from outside can judge !!

And the trouble is, we only get one side of the story, there's always three, his, hers, and the truth.

This.....right here.

Everyone's truth is going to be different. "

And one mans truth is another man's lie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rock and a hard place

When you get sick of one or the other you might take the appropriate action for your self then

Suggestion.... talk to someone who is impartial and can offer unbiased feedback and advise.

Normalizing the issues out loud and not in your head could help you see things clearer.

Beat of luck

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By *appycolinMan
over a year ago

close..


"So, happily!!married but intensely bored. At what point does one suck it up for kids or make that possibly massive destructive decision?? Assholes need not respond!

Possibly at the point where a wife discovers her husband is on a swinging site....would that class as destruction?"

“happily!!married but intensely bored“

Been on a swingers site is all that’s saving “my marriage” a little discreet encounter now and then keeps me sane and content.. and I’m sure as she flex’s my credit card she’s quite sane and content too .. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well said - Thank you for that comment

No-one from outside can judge !!

And the trouble is, we only get one side of the story, there's always three, his, hers, and the truth.

This.....right here.

Everyone's truth is going to be different.

And one mans truth is another man's lie. "

Thats kinda the point. What you see as the truth, another person will see as a lie.

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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago

Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow

Gabriel García Márquez once said.....

“Everyone has three lives, a Public Life, a Private Life and a Secret Life....... it is in our secret life we are most truest to ourselves.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

“happily!!married but intensely bored“

Been on a swingers site is all that’s saving “my marriage” a little discreet encounter now and then keeps me sane and content.. and I’m sure as she flex’s my credit card she’s quite sane and content too .. lol

"

Strange rationalisation there - get her to set up a single F account and bounce on strange cocks and then you’d be even.

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere


"Well said - Thank you for that comment

No-one from outside can judge !!

And the trouble is, we only get one side of the story, there's always three, his, hers, and the truth.

This.....right here.

Everyone's truth is going to be different.

And one mans truth is another man's lie.

Thats kinda the point. What you see as the truth, another person will see as a lie. "

There's a lot of untruths on fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well said - Thank you for that comment

No-one from outside can judge !!

And the trouble is, we only get one side of the story, there's always three, his, hers, and the truth.

This.....right here.

Everyone's truth is going to be different.

And one mans truth is another man's lie.

Thats kinda the point. What you see as the truth, another person will see as a lie.

There's a lot of untruths on fab."

And in real life also.

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere


"Well said - Thank you for that comment

No-one from outside can judge !!

And the trouble is, we only get one side of the story, there's always three, his, hers, and the truth.

This.....right here.

Everyone's truth is going to be different.

And one mans truth is another man's lie.

Thats kinda the point. What you see as the truth, another person will see as a lie.

There's a lot of untruths on fab.

And in real life also."

But they hide behind a screen here.

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere


"

“happily!!married but intensely bored“

Been on a swingers site is all that’s saving “my marriage” a little discreet encounter now and then keeps me sane and content.. and I’m sure as she flex’s my credit card she’s quite sane and content too .. lol

Strange rationalisation there - get her to set up a single F account and bounce on strange cocks and then you’d be even."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well said - Thank you for that comment

No-one from outside can judge !!

And the trouble is, we only get one side of the story, there's always three, his, hers, and the truth.

This.....right here.

Everyone's truth is going to be different.

And one mans truth is another man's lie.

Thats kinda the point. What you see as the truth, another person will see as a lie.

There's a lot of untruths on fab.

And in real life also.

But they hide behind a screen here. "

True

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin


"I’m going to probably get flamed for my opinion

But if you’re in a long term relationship show your partner love and affection and make time to have sex with them or accept that they may get it somewhere else if you are rejecting them .

I certainly don’t think it’s fair that one person decides the end of a sex life for two people

Female prospective here

I agree. I wasn't even going to post on this thread to be honest because you usually do get shot down. Life is not black and white there are so many grey areas as well. It's not always someone getting a thrill from meeting others. I've friends who are in marriages that have made them so unhappy and despite making every effort to make it work nothing changes. I myself while I have never been married have been in that situation for years. And after years of being made feel like I was invisible and not worth it despite trying to talk etc yes I did leave. But had I been married I probably wouldn't have. It was the hardest thing I did and yes now I can see it was for the best but that took me over 10 years to realise.But I know if I had kids or married I probably would have stayed. You can be more lonely in a relationship at times than if you are single so it's no surprise that some look elsewhere. And everyone saying the op should make an effort yes he should but then so should his partner if you are the one always making the effort and get nothing back eventually you stop as well there are only so many times someone can take being rejected by someone you care about.

So no I don't judge married people for being on here because the grey areas are so large and everyone has there own reasons for being here. "

Very good comments and finally someone saying that she should also be making an effort in the relationship.

I do the cooking, most of the cleaning and buy flowers on random occasions for no reason but the effort doesn't seem to be appreciated more than twice a year

Is it any wonder I drink and Fab!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

As the person that posted original comment. Just shows what a few nights away together can do. A few fantastic nights of crazy sex with my wife. She also felt things weren’t right, but we had great chats and great fun. She even dressed up for me in a sex outfit which really threw me. Anyway it was badly needed but it also showed me that things weren’t right and you do have to make time for each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/08/20 21:24:38]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spice tings up in the bedroom make time for her if u love ur wife u make it work tink if ur wife was gone ud miss her if u love her surely worth a try if not be honest with her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As the person that posted original comment. Just shows what a few nights away together can do. A few fantastic nights of crazy sex with my wife. She also felt things weren’t right, but we had great chats and great fun. She even dressed up for me in a sex outfit which really threw me. Anyway it was badly needed but it also showed me that things weren’t right and you do have to make time for each other. "

Oh if only it were this easy.

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick


"As the person that posted original comment. Just shows what a few nights away together can do. A few fantastic nights of crazy sex with my wife. She also felt things weren’t right, but we had great chats and great fun. She even dressed up for me in a sex outfit which really threw me. Anyway it was badly needed but it also showed me that things weren’t right and you do have to make time for each other. "

Great stuff! So I guess you'll be leaving Fab now to focus on your wife and marriage

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area


"As the person that posted original comment. Just shows what a few nights away together can do. A few fantastic nights of crazy sex with my wife. She also felt things weren’t right, but we had great chats and great fun. She even dressed up for me in a sex outfit which really threw me. Anyway it was badly needed but it also showed me that things weren’t right and you do have to make time for each other.

Great stuff! So I guess you'll be leaving Fab now to focus on your wife and marriage "
OUCH!

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By *hett and scarlettCouple
over a year ago

Dublin


"As the person that posted original comment. Just shows what a few nights away together can do. A few fantastic nights of crazy sex with my wife. She also felt things weren’t right, but we had great chats and great fun. She even dressed up for me in a sex outfit which really threw me. Anyway it was badly needed but it also showed me that things weren’t right and you do have to make time for each other.

Great stuff! So I guess you'll be leaving Fab now to focus on your wife and marriage "

Haha, classic!

Maybe Accord can be replaced by the fab forums going forward (given the fact the matrimonial advice given in here has kindled a marriage in peril).

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As the person that posted original comment. Just shows what a few nights away together can do. A few fantastic nights of crazy sex with my wife. She also felt things weren’t right, but we had great chats and great fun. She even dressed up for me in a sex outfit which really threw me. Anyway it was badly needed but it also showed me that things weren’t right and you do have to make time for each other.

Great stuff! So I guess you'll be leaving Fab now to focus on your wife and marriage "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As the person that posted original comment. Just shows what a few nights away together can do. A few fantastic nights of crazy sex with my wife. She also felt things weren’t right, but we had great chats and great fun. She even dressed up for me in a sex outfit which really threw me. Anyway it was badly needed but it also showed me that things weren’t right and you do have to make time for each other.

Great stuff! So I guess you'll be leaving Fab now to focus on your wife and marriage "

Fair point. Thanks for the chats. To those that think you have the perfect marriage by swinging, don’t kid yourselves. It’s quite unpleasant to be asked to leave.

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By *hett and scarlettCouple
over a year ago

Dublin


"As the person that posted original comment. Just shows what a few nights away together can do. A few fantastic nights of crazy sex with my wife. She also felt things weren’t right, but we had great chats and great fun. She even dressed up for me in a sex outfit which really threw me. Anyway it was badly needed but it also showed me that things weren’t right and you do have to make time for each other.

Great stuff! So I guess you'll be leaving Fab now to focus on your wife and marriage

Fair point. Thanks for the chats. To those that think you have the perfect marriage by swinging, don’t kid yourselves. It’s quite unpleasant to be asked to leave."

Show me someone who claims to have the perfect marriage, and I’ll show you a delusional fool (or a liar)

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"As the person that posted original comment. Just shows what a few nights away together can do. A few fantastic nights of crazy sex with my wife. She also felt things weren’t right, but we had great chats and great fun. She even dressed up for me in a sex outfit which really threw me. Anyway it was badly needed but it also showed me that things weren’t right and you do have to make time for each other.

Great stuff! So I guess you'll be leaving Fab now to focus on your wife and marriage

Fair point. Thanks for the chats. To those that think you have the perfect marriage by swinging, don’t kid yourselves. It’s quite unpleasant to be asked to leave."

Op you left yourself wide open to the reply you got because of what you posted

I think it was said in jest because no-one can force you to leave but they can refuse to play with a married man

Don't feel hurt by someone you'll never meet and dont lash back at them is my advice for what its worth

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick


"As the person that posted original comment. Just shows what a few nights away together can do. A few fantastic nights of crazy sex with my wife. She also felt things weren’t right, but we had great chats and great fun. She even dressed up for me in a sex outfit which really threw me. Anyway it was badly needed but it also showed me that things weren’t right and you do have to make time for each other.

Great stuff! So I guess you'll be leaving Fab now to focus on your wife and marriage

Fair point. Thanks for the chats. To those that think you have the perfect marriage by swinging, don’t kid yourselves. It’s quite unpleasant to be asked to leave."

Nobody thinks they have the perfect marriage and nobody has asked you to leave. It's just difficult to empathise with someone who describes a good marriage to a good lady who makes the effort for them. You're a lucky man in comparison with many

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As the person that posted original comment. Just shows what a few nights away together can do. A few fantastic nights of crazy sex with my wife. She also felt things weren’t right, but we had great chats and great fun. She even dressed up for me in a sex outfit which really threw me. Anyway it was badly needed but it also showed me that things weren’t right and you do have to make time for each other.

Great stuff! So I guess you'll be leaving Fab now to focus on your wife and marriage "

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By *unlinguyMan
over a year ago

South Dublin


"Its pretty sad actually, could be some one out there for you, you just dont know it yet.

Life is too short to just accept your situation.

Life is for living.

We have produced a few great kids, nearly 20 but I just don’t know what to do. Choice 1 is go on, Maybe get to be with another sexually by hook or crook. Choice 2, separate, lose the love of my kids, not to mention the financial consequences. perhaps try being honest with her?

I have tried but she thinks the whole fun with others is nonsense . I’m not bragging and I’m genuinely not, I’m fit, love nakedness, as vain as feck, crave other flesh but I’m married. Am I the asshole??"
yep seen as you asked.

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