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Men and messaging

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Would it be more efficient if men were unable to message women and couples first? They can reply, send to friends and to other men. Women and couples could spend more time finding people they want to meet up with and message or do do you prefer the attention?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often thought the same thing. It def would be interesting alright. Maybe a trial run could be worth a try

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope I never send a message first so if that the rule here. I'll be deleting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's similar to Bumble where the lady makes the first move. I have no issue sending the first message here. I think most men are surprised as they are used to doing the chasing here.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"Would it be more efficient if men were unable to message women and couples first? They can reply, send to friends and to other men. Women and couples could spend more time finding people they want to meet up with and message or do do you prefer the attention?"

Filters are there for a reason and they cut down on a lot of mail if used .

Plenty of women and couples do message first. I know I have. Why shouldn't anyone be able to message someone who they are interested in. I don't see any reason to stop guys from sending messgaes if they want to. It would make the site probably even harder for them than it already is. But if thats the way you want to run your profile then do it that way.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

The site would be unable to fund itself if men could not message first

The men who pay to be site supporters wouldn't pay anymore ,why would they.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's similar to Bumble where the lady makes the first move. I have no issue sending the first message here. I think most men are surprised as they are used to doing the chasing here. "

Its so.refreshing when I get a message from a woman first,.give me hope that there are some women interested in me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plenty of ladies message first iko

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

I think nobody should be able to mail newbies for a few weeks. The amount on mails new women get is actually mental bordering on predatory

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out


"The site would be unable to fund itself if men could not message first

The men who pay to be site supporters wouldn't pay anymore ,why would they."

Couples and women pay too. I'd say most of the bombarding emailers are not sure supporters.

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By *rishguy81Man
over a year ago

South Dublin

Fully agree with you, some of the messages newbies receive a vile and vicious when refused. This drives allot of new members away.

There should be a quick one click option to flag a message that a new member finds repulsive or threatening. This should then be followed up with direct action by admin with a warning or suspension.

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By *ateniteCouple
over a year ago

Youghal

No, some of our best meets were with guys who messaged us first and because they didn't live near us we would have had no visibility of them otherwise.

If people use filters properly it cuts out alot of the shite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No, some of our best meets were with guys who messaged us first and because they didn't live near us we would have had no visibility of them otherwise.

If people use filters properly it cuts out alot of the shite. "

Exactly

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I rarely send or receive messages on here anymore but as others have said use your filters if you are getting too much mail. That's what they're there for.

The rules should apply equally to all, male, female and couples. If you introduce restrictions you are just throwing fuel on the fire for those whinging about exclusion.

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By *nowy007Woman
over a year ago

Near Enough

I would only send a message first if someone's profile really caught my eye.

Same in replying to a message, if the profile looks interesting to me I will reply.

Not sure I would chat to many though if men couldn't send a first message. Just have to wade through them to get to the ones that interest you.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

Although I prefer to do the hunting, some lads camouflage quite well respectively could be easily overlooked in the jungle so it's only fair to give everyone equal opportunity to come out into the prairie.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No, some of our best meets were with guys who messaged us first and because they didn't live near us we would have had no visibility of them otherwise.

If people use filters properly it cuts out alot of the shite.

Exactly "

Would you not have been able to find him the same way he found you outside of his area?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The rules should apply equally to all, male, female and couples. If you introduce restrictions you are just throwing fuel on the fire for those whinging about exclusion. "

Equality doesn't work so well when the scales are tipped so far to one side. With limited outreach with poor or awful messages one would expect a rise in quality profiles and hopefully an increase in female members who don't get swamped in creepy messages every day.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Although I prefer to do the hunting, some lads camouflage quite well respectively could be easily overlooked in the jungle so it's only fair to give everyone equal opportunity to come out into the prairie. "

It's less a prairie as much as a minefield tiptoeing around filters and negative profiles that have been inundated with rudeness and brazen images they say are unwanted. With more open competition to promote oneself through profiles/forum interaction/chatroom/webcam you might find what you are looking for faster as the market is in your favour.

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London


"Would it be more efficient if men were unable to message women and couples first? They can reply, send to friends and to other men. Women and couples could spend more time finding people they want to meet up with and message or do do you prefer the attention?"
Is that function not there already? A couple or lady can put their profile to "Not looking for single guys" and still list men as prefence and therefore send the first message?

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"The rules should apply equally to all, male, female and couples. If you introduce restrictions you are just throwing fuel on the fire for those whinging about exclusion.

Equality doesn't work so well when the scales are tipped so far to one side. With limited outreach with poor or awful messages one would expect a rise in quality profiles and hopefully an increase in female members who don't get swamped in creepy messages every day."

And what about the creepy females that send them?

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Although I prefer to do the hunting, some lads camouflage quite well respectively could be easily overlooked in the jungle so it's only fair to give everyone equal opportunity to come out into the prairie.

It's less a prairie as much as a minefield tiptoeing around filters and negative profiles that have been inundated with rudeness and brazen images they say are unwanted. With more open competition to promote oneself through profiles/forum interaction/chatroom/webcam you might find what you are looking for faster as the market is in your favour. "

How does stopping men from messaging create a more open competition to promote oneself?

It will create a rise in fake female profiles.

If men or women can't be arsed promoting themselves now or at least promote themselves in a positive fashion do you seriously think they are going to make any more of an effort if they aren't allowed to send the first message?

People will expend more effort trying to go over, round or through a brick wall than they will in taking the wall out of the equation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's similar to Bumble where the lady makes the first move. I have no issue sending the first message here. I think most men are surprised as they are used to doing the chasing here. "

With Bumble you have to swipe to indicate that you like the person, when there is mutual attraction then the women messages. Although when I used it, you might recieve a lot of matches, there were very few messages. Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Would it be more efficient if men were unable to message women and couples first? They can reply, send to friends and to other men. Women and couples could spend more time finding people they want to meet up with and message or do do you prefer the attention?Is that function not there already? A couple or lady can put their profile to "Not looking for single guys" and still list men as prefence and therefore send the first message? "

It is. Should filters be set as on for new members until they are more comfortable turning them off as they get used to the site?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How does stopping men from messaging create a more open competition to promote oneself?

It will create a rise in fake female profiles.

If men or women can't be arsed promoting themselves now or at least promote themselves in a positive fashion do you seriously think they are going to make any more of an effort if they aren't allowed to send the first message?

People will expend more effort trying to go over, round or through a brick wall than they will in taking the wall out of the equation. "

Fair point.

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By *NawtyCplCouple
over a year ago

Around and about

We, well mostly me (Mrsnawty) does message first and I have no issue with receiving messages. If interested or if I have the time or headspace I will reply. It might be thanks but no thanks or it may be tell me more. If not I don't have time,interest headspace or just not in the bloody mood, I dont and move on.

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By *ateniteCouple
over a year ago

Youghal


"No, some of our best meets were with guys who messaged us first and because they didn't live near us we would have had no visibility of them otherwise.

If people use filters properly it cuts out alot of the shite.

Exactly

Would you not have been able to find him the same way he found you outside of his area?"

No because we don't actively search outside our area unless we a planning a night away.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"The rules should apply equally to all, male, female and couples. If you introduce restrictions you are just throwing fuel on the fire for those whinging about exclusion.

Equality doesn't work so well when the scales are tipped so far to one side. With limited outreach with poor or awful messages one would expect a rise in quality profiles and hopefully an increase in female members who don't get swamped in creepy messages every day.

And what about the creepy females that send them?"

Sorry bout that I won't send anymore I promise

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