FabSwingers.com forum: Irish banter

By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

i love it... anyone else has gsoh?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are an island full of jokers but there's too many clowns!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the land of the Craic & the dole at the moment but it's always mighty

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oseredWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

"We are an island full of jokers but there's too many clowns!

Ah don't slag our government!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iktikiCouple
over a year ago

city centre

"i love it... anyone else has gsoh?

You certainly need to have a gsoh on here but l just checked and you also have a gsot’s to with your gsoh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *murphMan
over a year ago

drogheda

"We are an island full of jokers but there's too many clowns!

Ah don't slag our government!"

St Patrick banished the snakes from Ireland he missed a nest under Leinster house the rose up and are fooling us all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Here's a joke to lighten the mood

A German guy approaches a lady of the night.

Long

'I vish to buy sex wit you.'

'OK,' says the girl, 'I charge 20 an hour.'

'..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.'

'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do little kinky.'

So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. 'I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your hans und knees.' The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said, to her hands and knees. 'Now you vill get on your hans und knees.'

She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.

'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.'

She finds it odd, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying.) She finds the sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller.

The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say 'That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?'

'Ah,' says the German 'dat is de Four-sprung Duck technique'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's a joke to lighten the mood

A German guy approaches a lady of the night.

Long

'I vish to buy sex wit you.'

'OK,' says the girl, 'I charge 20 an hour.'

'..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.'

'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do little kinky.'

She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.

'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.'

The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say 'That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?'

'Ah,' says the German 'dat is de Four-sprung Duck technique'"

Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

"Here's a joke to lighten the mood

A German guy approaches a lady of the night.

Long

'I vish to buy sex wit you.'

'OK,' says the girl, 'I charge 20 an hour.'

'..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.'

'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do little kinky.'

She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.

'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.'

The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say 'That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?'

'Ah,' says the German 'dat is de Four-sprung Duck technique'"

Bm im robbing this although its hard to tell what way theyll take it when i tell it lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubeMan
over a year ago

Drogheda

Well if a lass like your good self came this side you would for sure find the banter but the lads be looking for the crack every chance they got.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"Here's a joke to lighten the mood

A German guy approaches a lady of the night.

Long

'I vish to buy sex wit you.'

'OK,' says the girl, 'I charge 20 an hour.'

'..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.'

'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do little kinky.'

She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.

'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.'

The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say 'That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?'

'Ah,' says the German 'dat is de Four-sprung Duck technique'

Bm im robbing this although its hard to tell what way theyll take it when i tell it lol"

A waterford German accent

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

"Here's a joke to lighten the mood

A German guy approaches a lady of the night.

Long

'I vish to buy sex wit you.'

'OK,' says the girl, 'I charge 20 an hour.'

'..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.'

'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do little kinky.'

She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.

'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.'

The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say 'That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?'

'Ah,' says the German 'dat is de Four-sprung Duck technique'

Bm im robbing this although its hard to tell what way theyll take it when i tell it lol

A waterford German accent

Not my accent im worried about lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olm_irishMan
over a year ago

Clonee

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory "

Snakes & ladders more like!!! Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

Snakes & ladders more like!!! Lol

Shut your goddam mouth Col

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ddcoolnamelaterMan
over a year ago

Donegal

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory "

What joke won it for you Kaizer??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

They laughed when he said he wanted to be a comedian but just look at him. Nobody's laughing now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

What joke won it for you Kaizer?? "

It was 21 years ago too much water has passed under the bridge

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They laughed when he said he wanted to be a comedian but just look at him. Nobody's laughing now

You are cruising for a bruising

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

What joke won it for you Kaizer??

It was 21 years ago too much water has passed under the bridge

Even more in 31 years

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a side not I fooking hate the word Banter.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

What joke won it for you Kaizer??

It was 21 years ago too much water has passed under the bridge

Even more in 31 years

There ya go!

Time is not Kaizer's friend

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On a side not I fooking hate the word Banter."

What about flanter?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On a side not I fooking hate the word Banter.

What about flanter? "

Makes me cringe more than that guys I saw try to do stand up at Mosney once

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On a side not I fooking hate the word Banter.

What about flanter?

Makes me cringe more than that guys I saw try to do stand up at Mosney once"

Chubby Brown?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Here's a joke to lighten the mood

A German guy approaches a lady of the night.

Long

'I vish to buy sex wit you.'

'OK,' says the girl, 'I charge 20 an hour.'

'..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.'

'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do little kinky.'

She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.

'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.'

The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say 'That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?'

'Ah,' says the German 'dat is de Four-sprung Duck technique'"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eralt80Man
over a year ago

cork

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory "

I’d hate to see who won silver and bronze

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

I’d hate to see who won silver and bronze

Statler and Waldorf from the muppets I heard it was a very close call tho

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eralt80Man
over a year ago

cork

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

I’d hate to see who won silver and bronze

Statler and Waldorf from the muppets I heard it was a very close call tho

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

I’d hate to see who won silver and bronze

Statler and Waldorf from the muppets I heard it was a very close call tho

Fozzie Thunderkiss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

I’d hate to see who won silver and bronze

Statler and Waldorf from the muppets I heard it was a very close call tho

Not you anyway!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

I’d hate to see who won silver and bronze

Statler and Waldorf from the muppets I heard it was a very close call tho

Fozzie Thunderkiss

He's as hairy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

I’d hate to see who won silver and bronze

Statler and Waldorf from the muppets I heard it was a very close call tho

You do not know what you are talking about Boomont

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

I’d hate to see who won silver and bronze

Statler and Waldorf from the muppets I heard it was a very close call tho

Fozzie Thunderkiss

He's as hairy

Ah here!

3 gobshites looking for cheap pops

(insert 3 x one finger emojis)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"On a side not I fooking hate the word Banter."

Awww didums, you bruise easily?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

I’d hate to see who won silver and bronze

Statler and Waldorf from the muppets I heard it was a very close call tho

Fozzie Thunderkiss

He's as hairy

Ah here!

3 gobshites looking for cheap pops

(insert 3 x one finger emojis)

Well now that's not very nice is it. Don't make me come over there and wax you Kaizer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

I’d hate to see who won silver and bronze

Statler and Waldorf from the muppets I heard it was a very close call tho

Fozzie Thunderkiss

He's as hairy

Ah here!

3 gobshites looking for cheap pops

(insert 3 x one finger emojis)

Well now that's not very nice is it. Don't make me come over there and wax you Kaizer

There's more chance of Jesus Christ of Nazareth sticking his mickey in your mouth than you or anyone else for that matter coming near the Manbeast with wax or the like!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

I’d hate to see who won silver and bronze

Statler and Waldorf from the muppets I heard it was a very close call tho

Fozzie Thunderkiss

He's as hairy

Ah here!

3 gobshites looking for cheap pops

(insert 3 x one finger emojis)

Well now that's not very nice is it. Don't make me come over there and wax you Kaizer

There's more chance of Jesus Christ of Nazareth sticking his mickey in your mouth than you or anyone else for that matter coming near the Manbeast with wax or the like!

Fine. you're more like Oscar the grouch tonight.

I'll use tweezers instead so

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

just got back online

Funniest thread in ages

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

I’d hate to see who won silver and bronze

Statler and Waldorf from the muppets I heard it was a very close call tho

Fozzie Thunderkiss

He's as hairy

Ah here!

3 gobshites looking for cheap pops

(insert 3 x one finger emojis)

Well now that's not very nice is it. Don't make me come over there and wax you Kaizer

There's more chance of Jesus Christ of Nazareth sticking his mickey in your mouth than you or anyone else for that matter coming near the Manbeast with wax or the like!

Fine. you're more like Oscar the grouch tonight.

I'll use tweezers instead so

You must be banking on pleasuring JC

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

I’d hate to see who won silver and bronze

Statler and Waldorf from the muppets I heard it was a very close call tho

Fozzie Thunderkiss

He's as hairy

Ah here!

3 gobshites looking for cheap pops

(insert 3 x one finger emojis)

Well now that's not very nice is it. Don't make me come over there and wax you Kaizer

There's more chance of Jesus Christ of Nazareth sticking his mickey in your mouth than you or anyone else for that matter coming near the Manbeast with wax or the like!

Fine. you're more like Oscar the grouch tonight.

I'll use tweezers instead so

You must be banking on pleasuring JC

smart ass. Do you need a hug

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In 1989 Kaizer won gold at the community games for Stand up comedy

#truestory

I’d hate to see who won silver and bronze

Statler and Waldorf from the muppets I heard it was a very close call tho

Fozzie Thunderkiss

He's as hairy

Ah here!

3 gobshites looking for cheap pops

(insert 3 x one finger emojis)

Well now that's not very nice is it. Don't make me come over there and wax you Kaizer

There's more chance of Jesus Christ of Nazareth sticking his mickey in your mouth than you or anyone else for that matter coming near the Manbeast with wax or the like!

Fine. you're more like Oscar the grouch tonight.

I'll use tweezers instead so

You must be banking on pleasuring JC

smart ass. Do you need a hug

Kaizer always needs hugs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On a side not I fooking hate the word Banter.

Awww didums, you bruise easily? "

Like a peach....

thats not even a filter on the profile pic

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.

The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit...

Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant.

Stuart: - No way - he's a geologist.

Dave: - He ain't no geologist! A geologist wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder...

Dave: - Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: - No offence taken ! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession !

Dave: - Oh ! What's that then ?

Suit: - I'll try to explain by example .Do you have a goldfish at home?

Dave: - Er . mmm ... well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?

Dave: - It's in a pond!

Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?

Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!

Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?

Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house...built it myself!

Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?

Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.

Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?

Dave: - Yep! Four nights a week!

Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?

Dave: - Me? Never

Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

Dave: - How's that then?

Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!

Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive... thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.

Stuart: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

Stuart: - What's that then?

Dave:- I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

Stuart: - Nope

Dave: - Well then, you're a wanker

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *omm000161Man
over a year ago

dublin

There's more chance of Jesus Christ of Nazareth sticking his mickey in your mouth than you or anyone else for that matter coming near the Manbeast with wax or the like!

"Take this all of you and eat it"

It takes 3 days for him to rise again, and then you're waiting an age for the second cumming.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's more chance of Jesus Christ of Nazareth sticking his mickey in your mouth than you or anyone else for that matter coming near the Manbeast with wax or the like!

"Take this all of you and eat it"

It takes 3 days for him to rise again, and then you're waiting an age for the second cumming.

Shiver me timbers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just after spending the last 3yrs in England and you just can't beat the Irish craic. I found the English "banter" full of awkwardness and generally shit haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just after spending the last 3yrs in England and you just can't beat the Irish craic. I found the English "banter" full of awkwardness and generally shit haha "

The island welcomes you back

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's a joke to lighten the mood

A German guy approaches a lady of the night.

Long

'I vish to buy sex wit you.'

'OK,' says the girl, 'I charge 20 an hour.'

'..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.'

'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do little kinky.'

She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.

'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.'

The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say 'That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?'

'Ah,' says the German 'dat is de Four-sprung Duck technique'"

Bah ha ha hah!

Love it, this will be used again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are an island full of jokers but there's too many clowns!

Ah don't slag our government!"
??????

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *-ManMan
over a year ago

Kark

"On a side not I fooking hate the word Banter."

Bants is worse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

Sarcasm, banter, greetings & compliments such as...

"Tell him he's only a bollox"

"Sure, she could do worse"

"Don't be standing there like an ejit, come in"

"Alright Muppet!"

...yes, as an nation we're an affable bunch

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Banter, laughter and the craic is so important

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread