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Too forward

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Men have feelings too, so question for you guys:

Sometimes women get carried away with their flirts. What do you consider being too forward?

Men, who are a part of a couple: Does it make you feel uncomfortable when another woman contacts you privately to exchange a few flirty messages or do you like it when it happens?

Women: single and part of couples: Do you prefer chatting and flirting with a couple together or do you prefer to only chat to one part of a couple privately?

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

If I am chatting to couples I always chat like I am talking to both of them. If they are on as a couple then I talk to them as a couple. I never say anything that should be an issue if either one reads it. A couples profile to me means both are on it and both have access to all messages.

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By *erlincorkMan
over a year ago

London


"Men have feelings too, so question for you guys:

Sometimes women get carried away with their flirts. What do you consider being too forward?

Men, who are a part of a couple: Does it make you feel uncomfortable when another woman contacts you privately to exchange a few flirty messages or do you like it when it happens?

Women: single and part of couples: Do you prefer chatting and flirting with a couple together or do you prefer to only chat to one part of a couple privately? "

I’m not sure there’s thing as too forward really (with me anyway!) if you’re clear about what you want... then communicating that is quite a good thing. I think that I am a pretty simple creature... so if you’re being too subtle... I’ll probably miss it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I am chatting to couples I always chat like I am talking to both of them. If they are on as a couple then I talk to them as a couple. I never say anything that should be an issue if either one reads it. A couples profile to me means both are on it and both have access to all messages.

"

Completely agree with your approach.

When I'm chatting to single guys - I am just being myself. If the conversation goes a bit flirty naturally I just go with it.

If I ever have to message a man who's part of a couple privately for any reason - I will never explicitly flirt with him or try to come onto him as I'm well aware that different couples have different dynamics. My advances that I may see as a friendly banter may make that person really uncomfortable and awkward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know from chatting to couples here that sometimes it can come across as a one sided conversation if the person chatting to the couple is more interested in one of the couple. But if I was interested in playing with a male of a couple ( firstly that's if they play separately) I would still chat to both and make sure the female would be okay with me flirting and chatting. I would totally expect the female to have access to the messages.

I have spoken with one couple who were at a MnG and a single lady practically accosted the male without having the manners to chat to the female. I'm don't know the ins and outs of meeting or chatting with couples but would have thought this was rule no 1. Talk to both.

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By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

Since we are only seeking males its usually me that chats to the other male. However I find that some (and i reiterate SOME) men think that they can say what they like to me without a second thought as regards what my husband may think. I called a halt to two conversations over the weekend because they went way too far, i felt very uncomfortable and my hubs was less than impressed also.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Out of respect for the lady I don't have private chats with the guy I keep it between the three of us. With couples I have played with before it's usually just the lady I chat to catch up or organise another meet. Most of the couples are good friends now and there is a lot of mutual respect between us. I have the utmost of respect for the female in a couple and they know that they can trust me. One trusts me so much she sent her lovely hubby over to meet me when yet another single guy didn't turn up for a hotel meet. Now that's a good friend!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

DD and Rosy, both of your replies - I always thought it was common sense and basic manners.

Clearly not everyone read the memo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"DD and Rosy, both of your replies - I always thought it was common sense and basic manners.

Clearly not everyone read the memo "

And I'm not here to meet couples and would have figured it was the etiquette

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love a cheeky flirt, and once I know the boundaries should there be some with singles or couples i wont go over them.

The flirtier the better! Dont hesitate to get in touch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"DD and Rosy, both of your replies - I always thought it was common sense and basic manners.

Clearly not everyone read the memo "

Tbh I put off meeting couples for a long while as a lot of them hadn't read the memo on how to talk to a single lady. I was starting to think that they were treating me like they were ordering something off the Just Eat menu. But I have very luckily met some lovely couples since who speak to me as a person rather than something on their fuck it list.

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By *sLittleRedRidingHoodWoman
over a year ago

Magical Forrest

I meet couples at parties.

If I were to talk to the couple before or after the party, I wouldnt mind whether the lady or male.

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By *cupxxxWoman
over a year ago

Gorey


"If I am chatting to couples I always chat like I am talking to both of them. If they are on as a couple then I talk to them as a couple. I never say anything that should be an issue if either one reads it. A couples profile to me means both are on it and both have access to all messages.

I totally agree with you on this. I would always assume both are chatting/conversing and would have the utmost respecr for both of them.

"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"DD and Rosy, both of your replies - I always thought it was common sense and basic manners.

Clearly not everyone read the memo

Tbh I put off meeting couples for a long while as a lot of them hadn't read the memo on how to talk to a single lady. I was starting to think that they were treating me like they were ordering something off the Just Eat menu. But I have very luckily met some lovely couples since who speak to me as a person rather than something on their fuck it list. "

Oh Rosy I know exactly what you mean, I still get them pushy couples too.

Only nobody ever talks about pushy women.

I do have a feeling that a lot of women here grow to feel entitled to come onto whoever they wish not caring if the man likes them or if the man is a part of a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With us we both chat to people privately but chats are open for the other to read and the person we are chatting to is told that from early on. We both enjoy the other being flirty with people, both get enjoyment from the others enjoyment and the ego boost that can come with being flirty and feeling attractive to the person with whom we are conversing.

If things become hidden it's a big red flag and that's when private conversations end. If the third party begins to talk negatively about the other partner, conversation ends. If the third party suggests doing things behind the other partners back conversation ends.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"DD and Rosy, both of your replies - I always thought it was common sense and basic manners.

Clearly not everyone read the memo

Tbh I put off meeting couples for a long while as a lot of them hadn't read the memo on how to talk to a single lady. I was starting to think that they were treating me like they were ordering something off the Just Eat menu. But I have very luckily met some lovely couples since who speak to me as a person rather than something on their fuck it list.

Oh Rosy I know exactly what you mean, I still get them pushy couples too.

Only nobody ever talks about pushy women.

I do have a feeling that a lot of women here grow to feel entitled to come onto whoever they wish not caring if the man likes them or if the man is a part of a couple.

"

Im pretty sure there are plenty of pushy women as well. Who feel because they are female on here they are entitled to meet whomever they chose be it a single male or one in a couple.

What people should realise is that no one no matter how great a body they may have or looks or whatever is entitled to anything.

If people just respected others choices and didn't try and push their own agendas and actually took time to look at profiles and chat etc fab would be a better place. But that is never going to happen so everyone just has to find their own way and hopefully along that way meet some amazing people make good friends and have a lot of great sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tbh I put off meeting couples for a long while as a lot of them hadn't read the memo on how to talk to a single lady. I was starting to think that they were treating me like they were ordering something off the Just Eat menu. But I have very luckily met some lovely couples since who speak to me as a person rather than something on their fuck it list. "
.

Although we want different things from a fella joining us to when a girl joins us, in either case the third person is there to enjoy themselves as much as we are. They may have things they want to do and experience as much as we do and as long as it doesn't cross any hard limits for us we will happily help oblige

Essentially we are happy together and anything else is a bonus for everyone involved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sharing too many details on the forum or cringy repeated flirting on the forums is one.

Pressuring people into sharing photos is another

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As the female half of a couple who quite clearly state we only play together I can 100% guarantee that no meet would ever take place with a woman who thought it was ok to contact my other half separately. It's completely disrespectful. She'd be blocked immediately, just the same as the blokes who might think it's ok to do the same with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I probably should also say if we're chatting to a couple I'll chat to whoever is online at the time but I don't really do flirty talk so the chances of me overstepping or being too forward are slim to none.

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By *B 4099Man
over a year ago

North West, Outer Letterkenny area

Couples I've talked to I'll address both unless its a direct question one to one but if its general ill reply to both. As mentioned isn't that chat etiquette 101

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast


"I know from chatting to couples here that sometimes it can come across as a one sided conversation if the person chatting to the couple is more interested in one of the couple. But if I was interested in playing with a male of a couple ( firstly that's if they play separately) I would still chat to both and make sure the female would be okay with me flirting and chatting. I would totally expect the female to have access to the messages.

I have spoken with one couple who were at a MnG and a single lady practically accosted the male without having the manners to chat to the female. I'm don't know the ins and outs of meeting or chatting with couples but would have thought this was rule no 1. Talk to both."

I dont play with couples fullstop. Not a"unicorn". But your right you would think if your talking to a couple then yes you talk to both.

When you say accosted do you mean she practically jumped on him in front of her or just talking? I know a few and met up with a few men before they became a couple and would talk at m&g's to them......hoping thats not classed as accosted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ignorant and/or thoughtless people come in all shapes, sizes and genders, in fact, for some, I suspect there's a kick in showing such disrespect to someone's partner. If the person getting the approach rebuffs it, then it's hardly worth another thought. If they don't, well, then the problem is in the relationship...

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By *ogladyWoman
over a year ago

The bog

I e met lots of couple's at socials and have always treated them as a couple and chatted both I havnt been with a couple bit it's something I haven't ruled out bit I would have to chat with both not just one before I would join them..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ignorant and/or thoughtless people come in all shapes, sizes and genders, in fact, for some, I suspect there's a kick in showing such disrespect to someone's partner. If the person getting the approach rebuffs it, then it's hardly worth another thought. If they don't, well, then the problem is in the relationship..."

This. The amount of guys that forget that we are a couple and only mention Vixen in the mail is unreal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As has been eluded to before we should all be respectful to whoever we maybe wish to strike up a conversation with but manners work both ways too......

With that in mind there are some couples profiles who ask for trouble in what they say for every Tom, Dick and Mary to read......”who wants to fuck my wifes pussy”???.....”looking for an experienced bull to fuck me and show my sissy husband how small and useless his dick is”???....

Surely statuses like these will give an overall impression that, because this is a swingers site, the majority are like that.

I think there are certain things that should not be shared with all unsundry on a profile but should be kept between the ones involved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know from chatting to couples here that sometimes it can come across as a one sided conversation if the person chatting to the couple is more interested in one of the couple. But if I was interested in playing with a male of a couple ( firstly that's if they play separately) I would still chat to both and make sure the female would be okay with me flirting and chatting. I would totally expect the female to have access to the messages.

I have spoken with one couple who were at a MnG and a single lady practically accosted the male without having the manners to chat to the female. I'm don't know the ins and outs of meeting or chatting with couples but would have thought this was rule no 1. Talk to both.

I dont play with couples fullstop. Not a"unicorn". But your right you would think if your talking to a couple then yes you talk to both.

When you say accosted do you mean she practically jumped on him in front of her or just talking? I know a few and met up with a few men before they became a couple and would talk at m&g's to them......hoping thats not classed as accosted "

Accosted him while he was returning his partner from the bathrooms and pinned up against the wall and told him that they were leaving.

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By *irtypair00Couple
over a year ago

Dublin


"Men have feelings too, so question for you guys:

Sometimes women get carried away with their flirts. What do you consider being too forward?

Men, who are a part of a couple: Does it make you feel uncomfortable when another woman contacts you privately to exchange a few flirty messages or do you like it when it happens?

Women: single and part of couples: Do you prefer chatting and flirting with a couple together or do you prefer to only chat to one part of a couple privately? "

Id say just walking over and sit on my face was a little forward lol .

But as for separate chats unless Mrs knows and is happy we chat together ... sometimes of late it's Mrs Dirty that very forward and flirty .

Mr dirty xx

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

city

Im not very good at recognising 'flirts'. I dont read the signals in a social situation.. I might just think you're being friendly, and need to hear a woman say, very clearly what she wants. That way there's no confusion. Oh, im not good at flirting, either. Not a clue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im not very good at recognising 'flirts'. I dont read the signals in a social situation.. I might just think you're being friendly, and need to hear a woman say, very clearly what she wants. That way there's no confusion. Oh, im not good at flirting, either. Not a clue. "

I wouldn't have a clue if a guy flirting with me either.

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By *ll about fun timeCouple
over a year ago

Dublin/Wmeath

Ms here I find can work both ways not always just men can be too forward. We have our couple page and himself has a single page which I'm fully across but some women are OK that he's in a couple but put out that I can have access to profile or that if want to move to kik that he makes it a group not that I speak or interject but to make me aware just like if was me talking to a guy I'd do same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having a rough time right now and some one who I thought was A genuine Nice guy asked me out for a drink ,a couple of messages later and it’s fairly obvious he’s looking for sex in return for the sympathy shoulder

Not messaged on here either because any man on here is after sex....... I’m not that naive lol

I clearly don’t see the signals Between friend zoning and flirting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Having a rough time right now and some one who I thought was A genuine Nice guy asked me out for a drink ,a couple of messages later and it’s fairly obvious he’s looking for sex in return for the sympathy shoulder

Not messaged on here either because any man on here is after sex....... I’m not that naive lol

I clearly don’t see the signals Between friend zoning and flirting "

It's simple really, men don't friendzone women, men in the real world and men on here are the same people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Having a rough time right now and some one who I thought was A genuine Nice guy asked me out for a drink ,a couple of messages later and it’s fairly obvious he’s looking for sex in return for the sympathy shoulder

Not messaged on here either because any man on here is after sex....... I’m not that naive lol

I clearly don’t see the signals Between friend zoning and flirting

It's simple really, men don't friendzone women, men in the real world and men on here are the same people "

Well I guess I better work my way through my Facebook friends list , either ride them or block them . Could be a busy few weeks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Having a rough time right now and some one who I thought was A genuine Nice guy asked me out for a drink ,a couple of messages later and it’s fairly obvious he’s looking for sex in return for the sympathy shoulder

Not messaged on here either because any man on here is after sex....... I’m not that naive lol

I clearly don’t see the signals Between friend zoning and flirting

It's simple really, men don't friendzone women, men in the real world and men on here are the same people

Well I guess I better work my way through my Facebook friends list , either ride them or block them . Could be a busy few weeks "

Ah it's way more fun to just play along

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's simple really, men don't friendzone women, men in the real world and men on here are the same people "

In your humble opinion. I have and will continue to friendzone women cos not everything is driven by my cock

Jay

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

I work in one company that 80% of the staff are women

I'm so far in the friend zone with some of them that they are like sisters I've never had.

Men and women can be friends and nothing else in my experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd assume both are reading the messages ..not a couple if only one has access to the page :/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's simple really, men don't friendzone women, men in the real world and men on here are the same people

In your humble opinion. I have and will continue to friendzone women cos not everything is driven by my cock

Jay"

I can only speak from experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I work in one company that 80% of the staff are women

I'm so far in the friend zone with some of them that they are like sisters I've never had.

Men and women can be friends and nothing else in my experience "

I'm talking about actual friendship as opposed to casual friendly acquaintance.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"I work in one company that 80% of the staff are women

I'm so far in the friend zone with some of them that they are like sisters I've never had.

Men and women can be friends and nothing else in my experience

I'm talking about actual friendship as opposed to casual friendly acquaintance."

God that's the "When Harry Met Sally" question right there.

I have a friend thats like a sister to me...I've helped her though a broken marriage,a major health problem and we are really close

I was asked by other people were we having sex but 100% honestly never ever thought of her as a partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I work in one company that 80% of the staff are women

I'm so far in the friend zone with some of them that they are like sisters I've never had.

Men and women can be friends and nothing else in my experience

I'm talking about actual friendship as opposed to casual friendly acquaintance.

God that's the "When Harry Met Sally" question right there.

I have a friend thats like a sister to me...I've helped her though a broken marriage,a major health problem and we are really close

I was asked by other people were we having sex but 100% honestly never ever thought of her as a partner."

Kinda understandable that if you see her as a sister, you're not thinking of sex with her

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"I work in one company that 80% of the staff are women

I'm so far in the friend zone with some of them that they are like sisters I've never had.

Men and women can be friends and nothing else in my experience

I'm talking about actual friendship as opposed to casual friendly acquaintance.

God that's the "When Harry Met Sally" question right there.

I have a friend thats like a sister to me...I've helped her though a broken marriage,a major health problem and we are really close

I was asked by other people were we having sex but 100% honestly never ever thought of her as a partner.

Kinda understandable that if you see her as a sister, you're not thinking of sex with her "

And We're not from Leitrim

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Having a rough time right now and some one who I thought was A genuine Nice guy asked me out for a drink ,a couple of messages later and it’s fairly obvious he’s looking for sex in return for the sympathy shoulder

Not messaged on here either because any man on here is after sex....... I’m not that naive lol

I clearly don’t see the signals Between friend zoning and flirting

It's simple really, men don't friendzone women, men in the real world and men on here are the same people "

Men don't friend zone? Any guy I've ever had any interest in outside fab has 100 friend zoned me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's simple really, men don't friendzone women, men in the real world and men on here are the same people

In your humble opinion. I have and will continue to friendzone women cos not everything is driven by my cock

Jay"

Would you feel comfortable if a woman who you have friendzoned would continue to flirt with you in your private inbox though?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's simple really, men don't friendzone women, men in the real world and men on here are the same people

In your humble opinion. I have and will continue to friendzone women cos not everything is driven by my cock

Jay

I can only speak from experience "

Apologies Casey Lee on, re-reading that came across much harsher than intended

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Would you feel comfortable if a woman who you have friendzoned would continue to flirt with you in your private inbox though? "

It would take a lot to make me feel in uncomfortable having did that it would likely become pretty obvious if I wasn't interested in anything more than friendship but if the person needed to be told that it wasn't happening and asked to stop then I would. If it continued and they weren't happy that we could only ever be friends then I guess we couldn't be friends either, that would be the choice they'd have to make and if they couldn't I would.

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

My hubby is a grown up... If he was uncomfortable with something he would say. If someone was overly persistent then we wouldn't be interacting with them.

That said, I have no qualms about him having his own fun here as I have mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's simple really, men don't friendzone women, men in the real world and men on here are the same people

In your humble opinion. I have and will continue to friendzone women cos not everything is driven by my cock

Jay

I can only speak from experience

Apologies Casey Lee on, re-reading that came across much harsher than intended "

No need to apologise, I didn't intend the comment to be derogatory to men in any way btw, simply my experience of attempting close friendship with men. It is what it is, and I'm talking about close relationships as opposed to casual friendly acquaintance.

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By *Belfast_FellaMan
over a year ago

belfast

I've never really had any genuine approach here which I considered too forward. I think I've a fairly good bullshit detector and the most forward approaches that I've got have struck me as fairly obvious catfish-type accounts. They have tended to be 'wanna meet tonight?' type ones, asking for face pics or a phone number right off the bat, coming from unverified accounts which have just joined the site.

I've never had a really forward approach from a verified and long-standing site member, so it's hard to say, but I suppose any sort of 'let's meet now and fuck' sort of message might put my back up, no matter how genuine the messenger seemed.

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