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Depressed friend abroad

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have a depressed friend who lives abroad. For the past four months or I have been slowly trying to make this person to think positive, but not by telling what to do. But by asking how she is and making a few very occasional simple questions. But seems like she is getting worse... I don't really know what else I should do.. As I am the only person she trusts and the fcking flights aren't gonna happen soon So I could visit her and just listen to her face to face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly she should be talking to a professional op you are really just telling her what she wants to hear and maybe enabling her abit sorry if this sounds cruel but!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Firstly she should be talking to a professional op you are really just telling her what she wants to hear and maybe enabling her abit sorry if this sounds cruel but!!! "

I know... She just doesn't want all the crap medicines... And spend a fortune with professional(I am not giving any advices, if you have been depressed you know advices can make things worse, so I am only listening)... No I didn't even mention about it treatment or anything, I am letting her think... As she also work on the health environment ... She knows the path, she doesn't want to follow... She is a great person, but suddenly just changed...

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"I have a depressed friend who lives abroad. For the past four months or I have been slowly trying to make this person to think positive, but not by telling what to do. But by asking how she is and making a few very occasional simple questions. But seems like she is getting worse... I don't really know what else I should do.. As I am the only person she trusts and the fcking flights aren't gonna happen soon So I could visit her and just listen to her face to face "

Tell her to man up and stop behaving like a woman

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By *eralt80Man
over a year ago

cork


"Firstly she should be talking to a professional op you are really just telling her what she wants to hear and maybe enabling her abit sorry if this sounds cruel but!!!

I know... She just doesn't want all the crap medicines... And spend a fortune with professional(I am not giving any advices, if you have been depressed you know advices can make things worse, so I am only listening)... No I didn't even mention about it treatment or anything, I am letting her think... As she also work on the health environment ... She knows the path, she doesn't want to follow... She is a great person, but suddenly just changed... "

Medication should be the last resort, a simple thing like going for regular walks or exercise are great for depression and cost very little. You said she is a nurse which I would imagine is very stressful at the best of times but during the pandemic must be a whole lot worse.

Psychologist may cost a lot but what is the cost of a human life to her family and friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly not all medicine is crap. I was in a similar position and went to the doc. He put me on medication but I simply spoke to him and said I didn't want to be like a zombie. He gave me a relaxant and 1 to help with anxiety. Also going professional isn't all that expensive either and it does help to talk to a stranger cause u can let it all out. As I said I was in the depths of depression and tried to take my own life. Feel free to dm if you wish op. If I can help I will

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have a depressed friend who lives abroad. For the past four months or I have been slowly trying to make this person to think positive, but not by telling what to do. But by asking how she is and making a few very occasional simple questions. But seems like she is getting worse... I don't really know what else I should do.. As I am the only person she trusts and the fcking flights aren't gonna happen soon So I could visit her and just listen to her face to face

Tell her to man up and stop behaving like a woman "

I am not judging you, but silence is gold.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Firstly not all medicine is crap. I was in a similar position and went to the doc. He put me on medication but I simply spoke to him and said I didn't want to be like a zombie. He gave me a relaxant and 1 to help with anxiety. Also going professional isn't all that expensive either and it does help to talk to a stranger cause u can let it all out. As I said I was in the depths of depression and tried to take my own life. Feel free to dm if you wish op. If I can help I will"

Thanks. I will see how it goes this week. And I will start planting some positive seeds in her head... She is studying to be a doctor, so I have to help her think to find ways to do something relaxing and stay way from negative thinking. Yes I will recommend the doctor at some stage... I am sure she will overcome it, since this is only a wave that comes and goes. But as I was in similar situation years ago, I know that it will pass, as far I don't tell her how she should be living her live, and not imposing what she should do... But help her to think in the best possible and positive way... Yes, walking close to nature helps a lot at least every two weeks...

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By *ollinrock77Man
over a year ago

mullingar


"I have a depressed friend who lives abroad. For the past four months or I have been slowly trying to make this person to think positive, but not by telling what to do. But by asking how she is and making a few very occasional simple questions. But seems like she is getting worse... I don't really know what else I should do.. As I am the only person she trusts and the fcking flights aren't gonna happen soon So I could visit her and just listen to her face to face

Tell her to man up and stop behaving like a woman "

Idiot for saying that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tough one. Be there for her, message and chat to her. Make her smile. Don’t let her get away with talking shite though, call her out on her negativity/untruths. That’s what friends are for.

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By *ellable4itMan
over a year ago

D7


"Tough one. Be there for her, message and chat to her. Make her smile. Don’t let her get away with talking shite though, call her out on her negativity/untruths. That’s what friends are for. "

The one quoted is best way I found to work after going through similar situations with a few different friends. The biggest problem you are probably worried about is that you are afraid to say the wrong thing and because of the distance you would not be able to rectify it which is totally understandable. You are doing the best you can with the situation and all I can say now is it may feel like its not your problem and you could do without it some days but don't give up on her. You could say one simple thing without realising it almost and that can be the one. That last sentence is from personal experience.

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