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By *inky996 OP   Man
over a year ago

London

Over two months of lockdown can easily get boring and depressing. So post your best/favourite joke and maybe it will lighten the mood and bring a much needed laugh to some. Can vote for the best joke later!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Boris Johnston.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Boris Johnston. "

*close thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watch Mark Norman Out to Lunch on YouTube. Full of one liners, one of the most original comedians out there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Took up origami during the lockdown to pass the time, but had to give it up, too much paperwork.

I then bought a Theremin, but I havent touched it once!

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"Took up origami during the lockdown to pass the time, but had to give it up, too much paperwork.

I then bought a Theremin, but I havent touched it once!"

So bad they are actually good

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"Took up origami during the lockdown to pass the time, but had to give it up, too much paperwork.

I then bought a Theremin, but I havent touched it once!"

Had to look up what a Theremin was to get that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Took up origami during the lockdown to pass the time, but had to give it up, too much paperwork.

I then bought a Theremin, but I havent touched it once!

So bad they are actually good "

My boss suggested origami to help relieve stress, but that's just him, he folds under pressure.

A friend in school submitted an origami piece for his leaving very Art project. It was just one massive sheet of paper! Got an A1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a magic tractor once,

It turned into a field after I bought it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does anyone know where I stream Extreme Origami on the Sports network??

I don't have any Paper-view channels.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Did you hear about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?

He won the no bell prize.

Sorry that's so bad I'll just go now

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pssst. During this lockdown I've gotten a part time gig as a private investigator. The suspect is leaving cryptic clues behind hidden in little origami swans. I'll keep you posted as the story unfolds.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Pornstars favourite tipple is 7up in cider.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Pssst. During this lockdown I've gotten a part time gig as a private investigator. The suspect is leaving cryptic clues behind hidden in little origami swans. I'll keep you posted as the story unfolds. "

Your jokes are paper thin

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By *inky996 OP   Man
over a year ago

London

Heard they love a Dicken’s cider too on a night out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Pssst. During this lockdown I've gotten a part time gig as a private investigator. The suspect is leaving cryptic clues behind hidden in little origami swans. I'll keep you posted as the story unfolds.

Your jokes are paper thin "

Haha. Origami masters never make the cut.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"Pssst. During this lockdown I've gotten a part time gig as a private investigator. The suspect is leaving cryptic clues behind hidden in little origami swans. I'll keep you posted as the story unfolds.

Your jokes are paper thin

Haha. Origami masters never make the cut. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ordered an origami set from Wish recently. When it arrived, it was just sheets of coloured paper in a bag without any instructions. I didnt known what to make of it.

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By *iquidRavenMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"Jack and Gill went up the hill, each had a buck and a quarter

Gill came down... she had 2.50!!! Ooohhhhhh"

Andrew 'Dice' Clay

Check out some of his stuff on YouTube... you'd never get away with it now

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By *he SophisticatsCouple
over a year ago

Casa Del Fun

Dad, how come my sister is called Teresa?..

“Well son, you know how your mother loves Easter, Teresa is just an anagram of that”....

Oh right, thanks for that dad.

“No problem Alan!”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After Kenny Rogers passed away I got commissioned to construct an origami likeness of him for the local country and western festival. It was challenging at times, but you gotta know when to hold him, know when to fold him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/05/20 00:10:44]

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"After Kenny Rogers passed away I got commissioned to construct an origami likeness of him for the local country and western festival. It was challenging at times, but you gotta know when to hold him, know when to fold him."

Winner winner chicken dinner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On my way to work, as I overtake cars I notice men driving alone wearing face masks. Does this mean they lay in bed alone wearing condoms....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Younger sister runs into her mum shouting "Mammy Mammy.I got a thorn in my hand from the rose bush in the garden. Quick put some cider on it".Her mum replies"Why cider".Daughter exclaims that she heard her older sister say whenever she gets a prick in her hand she puts it in cider.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On my way to work, as I overtake cars I notice men driving alone wearing face masks. Does this mean they lay in bed alone wearing condoms...."

I was judging an origami competition and the champion constructed a car. The level of detail was incredible, it had manifolds.

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By *lectric cockMan
over a year ago

local


"Heard they love a Dicken’s cider too on a night out!"

Or a Cummins Cider

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Entered a BritPop origami contest in school. However mine got rained on and formed Pulp. Came in 3rd place

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By *he SophisticatsCouple
over a year ago

Casa Del Fun

Fooey just told me he was in a band a few years ago! The 1023MBs, broke up after a month cos they couldn’t get a gig!

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

Husband takes wife to a disco.

There's a guy in the dance floor dancing his socks off - moonwalking, breakdancing, bodypopping, body flipping, the works.

The wife turns to her husband and says "See that guy? 25yrs ago he proposed to me and I turned him down"

Husband says "Looks like he's still fucking celebrating "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fooey just told me he was in a band a few years ago! The 1023MBs, broke up after a month cos they couldn’t get a gig!

"

Haha, nerdy

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By *ranco82Man
over a year ago

belfast

I once fell for this sexy estate agent. We made big plans and everything. But it didn't work out. She was all empty premises.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's white and slides across the dance floor...... Cum Dancing

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By *anFromMarsMan
over a year ago

North

2 guys walk into a bar (no that's not the joke) ..1 of them says to the barman give me a pint and 1 for the donkey, nodding at his friend then turns a walks to the toilet. The bar man is pulling the pints thinking it's very rude of the guy calling his friend "the donkey" so as he sits the pints in front of him he says that's a bit rude calling you "the donkey" and the guy replies...ah sure he auw he auw he always calls me that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to battle with origami Ninja Turtles as a young lad. My older brother would always win though, he had The Shredder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cross-eyed husband and I just got a divorce. I found out he was seeing someone on the side

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

An Waterfird man was rushed into hospital last night with 6 plastic horses up his hole.

Doctors have described his condition as stable.

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

I started doing an online Bee Gee's cookery course...

You can tell by the way I use my wok!

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By *oo32Man
over a year ago

tipperary

I never wanted to believe my road worker dad was stealing from his job...

But when I got home...all the signs were there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/05/20 16:52:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Origami belts are just a waist of paper.

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