FabSwingers.com forum: Grudge

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Are you the type to hold a grudge?

If yes, what stops you moving on?

If no, what's your thinking behind truly leaving it in the past?

Some will no and its evident it's a yes

so please be honest. It's the only way to get some good viewpoints.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. I am able to see that by doing so I would mostly be hurting myself. People hurt others because of their own issues, it's rarely personal.

Life is too short for that shit,I have better things to be doing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dontvtend to hold grudges just because I think it requires too much negitive energy.

I do however remember peoples actions and base my view of them on that.

I dont believe in the whole forgetting part of forgive and forget

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No!

Make love not war

Life is waaay to short

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't really hold grudges as such and don't spend any time of the day thinking about someone who I dislike for any reason. I just move on and forget that person exists and over time I will do everything to avoid said person.

Missus.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Holding a grudge is like lighting yourself on fire and expecting the other person to die of smoke inhalation. If someone crossed me now I just put them out of my head and move on. Life is too short to be full of bitterness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lighting yourself on fire and expecting the other person to die of smoke inhalation"

Would that work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not the type to hold a grudge normally but sometimes it's not always down to me.

Often the other person refuses to let go and continues to bring up the subject over and over again and won't accept that they aren't always right.

Life is too short for negativity and we should all be able to forgive and forget. I do easily forgive but in order to protect myself in the future I rarely forget.

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By *eaAndBenCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

I will forgive but I’ve the memory of an elephant and as Boobs said it would colour my view of them. Twice bitten etc etc

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I dontvtend to hold grudges just because I think it requires too much negitive energy.

I do however remember peoples actions and base my view of them on that.

I dont believe in the whole forgetting part of forgive and forget"

I'm similar to this but find that when it's a family member or someone you're forced to be around, the negativity is there, that's why I cut people off completely and move on with life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dontvtend to hold grudges just because I think it requires too much negitive energy.

I do however remember peoples actions and base my view of them on that.

I dont believe in the whole forgetting part of forgive and forget

I'm similar to this but find that when it's a family member or someone you're forced to be around, the negativity is there, that's why I cut people off completely and move on with life. "

Cutting someone completely especially family can nearly take more effort and create more negativity with others.

It would take something drastic for me to cut someone like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It realy depends on the situation, if it is someone I don't realy know and nothing major, I tend to just forget and move on. As other's have said life is too short, but if someone realy close to me does me wrong I find it very hard to let it go. So yes I do at time's.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I dontvtend to hold grudges just because I think it requires too much negitive energy.

I do however remember peoples actions and base my view of them on that.

I dont believe in the whole forgetting part of forgive and forget

I'm similar to this but find that when it's a family member or someone you're forced to be around, the negativity is there, that's why I cut people off completely and move on with life.

Cutting someone completely especially family can nearly take more effort and create more negativity with others.

It would take something drastic for me to cut someone like that"

Oh no I dont do that, I just show no interest because that's the reality. Civil discussion is fine and takes no effort if it's ever required.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dontvtend to hold grudges just because I think it requires too much negitive energy.

I do however remember peoples actions and base my view of them on that.

I dont believe in the whole forgetting part of forgive and forget

I'm similar to this but find that when it's a family member or someone you're forced to be around, the negativity is there, that's why I cut people off completely and move on with life. "

Do you not find it very difficult on yourself to cut family members off??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All depends on what the person done to me , if it was bad I leave in the long grass, meaning your day will come , an elephant never forgets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well it's a bit like taking the poison and expecting the other person to die...

Resentment is bad. Gotta find a way to let it go

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By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

Ive cut three family members off completely. Best thing i ever did. I dont need toxic negativity around me and people know better than to talk to me about them. Luckily there arent too many family gatherings where i would have to be in their company

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I dontvtend to hold grudges just because I think it requires too much negitive energy.

I do however remember peoples actions and base my view of them on that.

I dont believe in the whole forgetting part of forgive and forget

I'm similar to this but find that when it's a family member or someone you're forced to be around, the negativity is there, that's why I cut people off completely and move on with life.

Do you not find it very difficult on yourself to cut family members off?? "

I find it so much better tbh but it's not effort and they're not chasing to contact me, we just meet once a year at xmas and I stay 4 hrs. I can't even spend a night at home I feel anxious and sick just walking through the door.

My thing is anyone who brings negativity should be cut off, in the sense that you should move on like they don't exist. As someone said above life's too short to deal with the bs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dontvtend to hold grudges just because I think it requires too much negitive energy.

I do however remember peoples actions and base my view of them on that.

I dont believe in the whole forgetting part of forgive and forget

I'm similar to this but find that when it's a family member or someone you're forced to be around, the negativity is there, that's why I cut people off completely and move on with life.

Do you not find it very difficult on yourself to cut family members off??

My thing is anyone who brings negativity should be cut off, in the sense that you should move on like they don't exist. As someone said above life's too short to deal with the bs."

I agree, nó point clinging to the idea that they are "family", if there's no behaviour to back up an intimacy with them, being blood relatives is no more than an accident of birth. Continuing to hope that they will somehow come through and "be there for you" is a delusion. They are what they are.

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By *hors.HammerMan
over a year ago

Newbridge

I don't hold grudges. life is too short.

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west

It really depends on the situation if it's something light and worth more better to bury the hatchet then il be all for that but if someone has really truly made my life a misery then sorry but moving on is just something that won't happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if most people were honest they do, I think its natural in most situations. People hurt each other whether it be malicious or not. If I'm wronged I can hold a grudge I'll be honest, but I eventually will let it go. I do know that behind most arguments or disagreements there maybe underlying unresolved issues so sometimes things aren't always as they seem. I do try to be the better person and get over it quick...its difficult when you're right all the time though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Forgive your enemies, but remember their names."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Forgive your enemies, but remember their names.""

Love that saying....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you the type to hold a grudge?

If yes, what stops you moving on?

If no, what's your thinking behind truly leaving it in the past?

Some will no and its evident it's a yes

so please be honest. It's the only way to get some good viewpoints. "

i hold grudges. i haven't talked to some people i hold them against in years. a lot of my family are the same. my grandmother held one for nearly 50 years. i just ignore and not talk to the person. if i hold a grudge against someone i just treat them like the are dead to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Forgive your enemies, but remember their names.""

That's a great saying PB .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never go out of my way to react or treat a person adversely based upon ill-feeling but I certainly wouldn't forget why I'd feel that way in the first place.

Even within the vacuum of Fab; I've been, publicly, labeled one of the most abhorrent things any person could fathom. I won't forget who said it but I wouldn't stoop to the level of "weaponizing" it.

Time spent doing so is time wasted.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would never go out of my way to react or treat a person adversely based upon ill-feeling but I certainly wouldn't forget why I'd feel that way in the first place.

Even within the vacuum of Fab; I've been, publicly, labeled one of the most abhorrent things any person could fathom. I won't forget who said it but I wouldn't stoop to the level of "weaponizing" it.

Time spent doing so is time wasted. "

Stoop! Stoop! Stoop!

I'm just kidding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Forgive your enemies, but remember their names."

That's a great saying PB ."

Again, not mine!

Think it was JFK.

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By *sLittleRedRidingHoodWoman
over a year ago

Magical Forrest

""Forgive your enemies, but remember their names.""

Uuuuuu good one

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