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People being on POF and fab

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So to make a long story really short for reading purposes. I am on and off POF. Mainly off as I feel that website is rather miss than hit. But that's only my opinion.

My mentality of using POF is whatever happens happens. I accept that, while sure some only look for "relationships" - most use it as a hook up site and hey open to more should it happen. Fair right?

Well I was on fab earlier and I came across a woman who has one of those "nose down to chest" pics. You know, you see up to their nose so it's like half a face pic. But I knew her... I was trying to wreck my brain so I went "aha plenty"

So I log in and search for her.... Now we get to the question of the thread and I guess the point of it. She, which of course I won't say who as I have no right to put them, but she says do not message me for sex. I am not that type of girl etc etc.

But yet... She's also on here.

I couldn't help but think to myself isnt that unfair? Isn't that a bit of hypocrisy?

One could argue how and why a person uses the website is solely their choice.

On the other hand if you are giving the impression you are someone who would never ever do anything like that but yet on another website doing exactly that... Isn't that well as stat d above, a hypocrite?

Or in truth are we all hypocrites and I'm just being silly lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt say a hypocrite at all. I think it's perfectly reasonable to use one site for regular dating, and another if you want fun.

I'm not gonna put gang bangs and bukkakke under interests on my LinkedIn profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldnt say a hypocrite at all. I think it's perfectly reasonable to use one site for regular dating, and another if you want fun.

I'm not gonna put gang bangs and bukkakke under interests on my LinkedIn profile. "
lol

Very true!

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west


"So to make a long story really short for reading purposes. I am on and off POF. Mainly off as I feel that website is rather miss than hit. But that's only my opinion.

My mentality of using POF is whatever happens happens. I accept that, while sure some only look for "relationships" - most use it as a hook up site and hey open to more should it happen. Fair right?

Well I was on fab earlier and I came across a woman who has one of those "nose down to chest" pics. You know, you see up to their nose so it's like half a face pic. But I knew her... I was trying to wreck my brain so I went "aha plenty"

So I log in and search for her.... Now we get to the question of the thread and I guess the point of it. She, which of course I won't say who as I have no right to put them, but she says do not message me for sex. I am not that type of girl etc etc.

But yet... She's also on here.

I couldn't help but think to myself isnt that unfair? Isn't that a bit of hypocrisy?

One could argue how and why a person uses the website is solely their choice.

On the other hand if you are giving the impression you are someone who would never ever do anything like that but yet on another website doing exactly that... Isn't that well as stat d above, a hypocrite?

Or in truth are we all hypocrites and I'm just being silly lol "

How I see it is how people use the sites is their business she might be trying to get out of the swing lifestyle with what she is going with on pof but finds it hard to stay away from here but at the same time she may not be meeting anyone for sex here any more people use this site for all sorts of reasons they could be simply want someone to talk to chat with friends etc like this isn't always about sex so I'd say leave her be if she isn't doing no harm to you or anyone else then there should be no problems chat to her if you want but don't be asking her a hundred question or be mean about how she is running her life like there is enough gobshites doing that as it is

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"I wouldnt say a hypocrite at all. I think it's perfectly reasonable to use one site for regular dating, and another if you want fun.

I'm not gonna put gang bangs and bukkakke under interests on my LinkedIn profile. "

Different type of head hunting if thats on your LinkedIn profile alright Gary

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him. "

I fear you may have read the post wrong.

The question, as long as I had worded it, was is it hypocrisy?

But to also open the question of... Is this is perfectly ok then what is too far?

If it's ok to have a fab profile and a dating profile saying you are not looking for sex (if it is according to other users?) Then what would be too far?

At what point is something socially acceptable or not? Because what we say gives off what type of person we are. If what we say is not totally true. Isn't that a lie?

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By *ohng69Man
over a year ago

athenry


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him.

I fear you may have read the post wrong.

The question, as long as I had worded it, was is it hypocrisy?

But to also open the question of... Is this is perfectly ok then what is too far?

If it's ok to have a fab profile and a dating profile saying you are not looking for sex (if it is according to other users?) Then what would be too far?

At what point is something socially acceptable or not? Because what we say gives off what type of person we are. If what we say is not totally true. Isn't that a lie?

"
It's none of your business what she puts on her profiles. What you have said here says a lot about the person you are!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him.

I fear you may have read the post wrong.

The question, as long as I had worded it, was is it hypocrisy?

But to also open the question of... Is this is perfectly ok then what is too far?

If it's ok to have a fab profile and a dating profile saying you are not looking for sex (if it is according to other users?) Then what would be too far?

At what point is something socially acceptable or not? Because what we say gives off what type of person we are. If what we say is not totally true. Isn't that a lie?

"

Hypocrisy? It's barefaced lying if the person is arranging meets on a sex site. Everyone lies, some are white lies, some are malicious, some are manipulative, when getting to know someone in the relationship context we must use our judgement as to whether or not that individual is to be trusted.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him.

I fear you may have read the post wrong.

The question, as long as I had worded it, was is it hypocrisy?

But to also open the question of... Is this is perfectly ok then what is too far?

If it's ok to have a fab profile and a dating profile saying you are not looking for sex (if it is according to other users?) Then what would be too far?

At what point is something socially acceptable or not? Because what we say gives off what type of person we are. If what we say is not totally true. Isn't that a lie?

It's none of your business what she puts on her profiles. What you have said here says a lot about the person you are!!"

They say to have a mature debate about things you attack the post and never the poster.

Ironically what you just did says more about you than me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him.

I fear you may have read the post wrong.

The question, as long as I had worded it, was is it hypocrisy?

But to also open the question of... Is this is perfectly ok then what is too far?

If it's ok to have a fab profile and a dating profile saying you are not looking for sex (if it is according to other users?) Then what would be too far?

At what point is something socially acceptable or not? Because what we say gives off what type of person we are. If what we say is not totally true. Isn't that a lie?

Hypocrisy? It's barefaced lying if the person is arranging meets on a sex site. Everyone lies, some are white lies, some are malicious, some are manipulative, when getting to know someone in the relationship context we must use our judgement as to whether or not that individual is to be trusted. "

I agree totally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see how that's unfair maybe she does want to date sometime and not rush into sex.

I was briefly on POF but I left because of the people who recognised me from Fab. They would message and say well you are on a sex site can I pop over for a ride. I don't do that on Fab so hardly going to do it on POF. Sometimes it would be nice to be taken out for dinner or drinks and not have it all about being sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him.

I fear you may have read the post wrong.

The question, as long as I had worded it, was is it hypocrisy?

But to also open the question of... Is this is perfectly ok then what is too far?

If it's ok to have a fab profile and a dating profile saying you are not looking for sex (if it is according to other users?) Then what would be too far?

At what point is something socially acceptable or not? Because what we say gives off what type of person we are. If what we say is not totally true. Isn't that a lie?

Hypocrisy? It's barefaced lying if the person is arranging meets on a sex site. Everyone lies, some are white lies, some are malicious, some are manipulative, when getting to know someone in the relationship context we must use our judgement as to whether or not that individual is to be trusted.

I agree totally. "

And my original point was that a person is also being unfair to themselves if they are afraid to be honest with prospective partners. On the other hand, a woman might just say something like that on a dating profile to try to ward off men who lie about looking for relationships while only looking for sex.

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By *artender_onthelooseMan
over a year ago

Dublin


"I don't see how that's unfair maybe she does want to date sometime and not rush into sex.

I was briefly on POF but I left because of the people who recognised me from Fab. They would message and say well you are on a sex site can I pop over for a ride. I don't do that on Fab so hardly going to do it on POF. Sometimes it would be nice to be taken out for dinner or drinks and not have it all about being sex."

Drinks and dinner when can I take you out ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him.

I fear you may have read the post wrong.

The question, as long as I had worded it, was is it hypocrisy?

But to also open the question of... Is this is perfectly ok then what is too far?

If it's ok to have a fab profile and a dating profile saying you are not looking for sex (if it is according to other users?) Then what would be too far?

At what point is something socially acceptable or not? Because what we say gives off what type of person we are. If what we say is not totally true. Isn't that a lie?

Hypocrisy? It's barefaced lying if the person is arranging meets on a sex site. Everyone lies, some are white lies, some are malicious, some are manipulative, when getting to know someone in the relationship context we must use our judgement as to whether or not that individual is to be trusted.

I agree totally.

And my original point was that a person is also being unfair to themselves if they are afraid to be honest with prospective partners. On the other hand, a woman might just say something like that on a dating profile to try to ward off men who lie about looking for relationships while only looking for sex. "

I did think that but that would be at the cost of lying.

Then again, in this world, speaking of POF and fab. Am sure there are married individuals who use the website without their partners knowledge. Go figure I suppose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ya I actually agree with you a little bit here (I'm as shocked as you).

Now I have no issue with someone using one site for sex and another for relationships.

But the wording of "not that type of girl"....

What type of girl is that?

Maybe not hypocricy but she is clearly struggling with the fact that its ok to want nsa sex or she fears judgement for it.

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

city

I use different sites for my own creative purposes. I'm not lying, manipulating. I have different audiences, my erotic preferences are for me to share with people who might appreciate them, hence dabbling with Fab, pof, Sdeesee, Fet and others over the years. And non erotic sites for social and friend purposes. I also tailor my profile and pics, etc so my LinkedIn friends don't recognise me from my Fab profile. I like my privacy.I think most people are the same.

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him.

I fear you may have read the post wrong.

The question, as long as I had worded it, was is it hypocrisy?

But to also open the question of... Is this is perfectly ok then what is too far?

If it's ok to have a fab profile and a dating profile saying you are not looking for sex (if it is according to other users?) Then what would be too far?

At what point is something socially acceptable or not? Because what we say gives off what type of person we are. If what we say is not totally true. Isn't that a lie?

Hypocrisy? It's barefaced lying if the person is arranging meets on a sex site. Everyone lies, some are white lies, some are malicious, some are manipulative, when getting to know someone in the relationship context we must use our judgement as to whether or not that individual is to be trusted.

I agree totally.

And my original point was that a person is also being unfair to themselves if they are afraid to be honest with prospective partners. On the other hand, a woman might just say something like that on a dating profile to try to ward off men who lie about looking for relationships while only looking for sex.

I did think that but that would be at the cost of lying.

Then again, in this world, speaking of POF and fab. Am sure there are married individuals who use the website without their partners knowledge. Go figure I suppose. "

Really dude what someone does with their life is purely none of your business or anyone elses is it hypocrisy maybe a little but I don't see how that affects you if you don't like how this lady is running things move on I'm on dating sites and I'm sure many here are too but your not seeing us with Jaws dropped at the shock of it and weather its ok or not that's really down to the person not outside judgement if they are happy how they are doing no ones opinions should matter like I said leave her be if you don't like it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him.

I fear you may have read the post wrong.

The question, as long as I had worded it, was is it hypocrisy?

But to also open the question of... Is this is perfectly ok then what is too far?

If it's ok to have a fab profile and a dating profile saying you are not looking for sex (if it is according to other users?) Then what would be too far?

At what point is something socially acceptable or not? Because what we say gives off what type of person we are. If what we say is not totally true. Isn't that a lie?

Hypocrisy? It's barefaced lying if the person is arranging meets on a sex site. Everyone lies, some are white lies, some are malicious, some are manipulative, when getting to know someone in the relationship context we must use our judgement as to whether or not that individual is to be trusted.

I agree totally.

And my original point was that a person is also being unfair to themselves if they are afraid to be honest with prospective partners. On the other hand, a woman might just say something like that on a dating profile to try to ward off men who lie about looking for relationships while only looking for sex.

I did think that but that would be at the cost of lying.

Then again, in this world, speaking of POF and fab. Am sure there are married individuals who use the website without their partners knowledge. Go figure I suppose.

Really dude what someone does with their life is purely none of your business or anyone elses is it hypocrisy maybe a little but I don't see how that affects you if you don't like how this lady is running things move on I'm on dating sites and I'm sure many here are too but your not seeing us with Jaws dropped at the shock of it and weather its ok or not that's really down to the person not outside judgement if they are happy how they are doing no ones opinions should matter like I said leave her be if you don't like it "

This is a mature debate, topic, conversation or call it what you like. Not one user has said anything derogatory thus far.

You seem to be taking it quite personal. Like it's a personal attack on you.

Are you on POF?

Is that your dog in the fight?

That any opinions or views formed from this topic are considered "attacks" to you?

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him.

I fear you may have read the post wrong.

The question, as long as I had worded it, was is it hypocrisy?

But to also open the question of... Is this is perfectly ok then what is too far?

If it's ok to have a fab profile and a dating profile saying you are not looking for sex (if it is according to other users?) Then what would be too far?

At what point is something socially acceptable or not? Because what we say gives off what type of person we are. If what we say is not totally true. Isn't that a lie?

Hypocrisy? It's barefaced lying if the person is arranging meets on a sex site. Everyone lies, some are white lies, some are malicious, some are manipulative, when getting to know someone in the relationship context we must use our judgement as to whether or not that individual is to be trusted.

I agree totally.

And my original point was that a person is also being unfair to themselves if they are afraid to be honest with prospective partners. On the other hand, a woman might just say something like that on a dating profile to try to ward off men who lie about looking for relationships while only looking for sex.

I did think that but that would be at the cost of lying.

Then again, in this world, speaking of POF and fab. Am sure there are married individuals who use the website without their partners knowledge. Go figure I suppose.

Really dude what someone does with their life is purely none of your business or anyone elses is it hypocrisy maybe a little but I don't see how that affects you if you don't like how this lady is running things move on I'm on dating sites and I'm sure many here are too but your not seeing us with Jaws dropped at the shock of it and weather its ok or not that's really down to the person not outside judgement if they are happy how they are doing no ones opinions should matter like I said leave her be if you don't like it

This is a mature debate, topic, conversation or call it what you like. Not one user has said anything derogatory thus far.

You seem to be taking it quite personal. Like it's a personal attack on you.

Are you on POF?

Is that your dog in the fight?

That any opinions or views formed from this topic are considered "attacks" to you?

"

No but you made the thread not me so I presume wanted feedback so you have it

Il put this to you if none swinger was to approach that's absolutely against that life style and think it's wrong and disgusting would you listen and stop or listen to what they said but carry on with fab

And as a matter of fact I was on pof but didn't like it so I went with something else didn't know this was a thread for pof members only

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him.

I fear you may have read the post wrong.

The question, as long as I had worded it, was is it hypocrisy?

But to also open the question of... Is this is perfectly ok then what is too far?

If it's ok to have a fab profile and a dating profile saying you are not looking for sex (if it is according to other users?) Then what would be too far?

At what point is something socially acceptable or not? Because what we say gives off what type of person we are. If what we say is not totally true. Isn't that a lie?

Hypocrisy? It's barefaced lying if the person is arranging meets on a sex site. Everyone lies, some are white lies, some are malicious, some are manipulative, when getting to know someone in the relationship context we must use our judgement as to whether or not that individual is to be trusted.

I agree totally.

And my original point was that a person is also being unfair to themselves if they are afraid to be honest with prospective partners. On the other hand, a woman might just say something like that on a dating profile to try to ward off men who lie about looking for relationships while only looking for sex.

I did think that but that would be at the cost of lying.

Then again, in this world, speaking of POF and fab. Am sure there are married individuals who use the website without their partners knowledge. Go figure I suppose.

Really dude what someone does with their life is purely none of your business or anyone elses is it hypocrisy maybe a little but I don't see how that affects you if you don't like how this lady is running things move on I'm on dating sites and I'm sure many here are too but your not seeing us with Jaws dropped at the shock of it and weather its ok or not that's really down to the person not outside judgement if they are happy how they are doing no ones opinions should matter like I said leave her be if you don't like it

This is a mature debate, topic, conversation or call it what you like. Not one user has said anything derogatory thus far.

You seem to be taking it quite personal. Like it's a personal attack on you.

Are you on POF?

Is that your dog in the fight?

That any opinions or views formed from this topic are considered "attacks" to you?

No but you made the thread not me so I presume wanted feedback so you have it

Il put this to you if none swinger was to approach that's absolutely against that life style and think it's wrong and disgusting would you listen and stop or listen to what they said but carry on with fab

And as a matter of fact I was on pof but didn't like it so I went with something else didn't know this was a thread for pof members only "

Ok. May I ask, what would be too far tho?

You are on the side that it's perfectly acceptable. That's fine.

But what's not?

Going back to POF, if I as a man said how I wanted to meet Mrs right. Not into one nighters etc. But in truth I just want to shag all around me and just manipulate people into thinking I am something I am not... Is that socially acceptable?

What if I say how I'm intellectual. Read books. Open minded to other opinions blah blah. But in truth I'm ignorant and do nothing but laze about playing video games.

What about fab... If how we invidually use sites is perfectly and socially acceptable. Then surely it's ok for anyone to be on the website who is married or attached without their partners consent?

You can see where I am going. At what point is something "too far"

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him.

I fear you may have read the post wrong.

The question, as long as I had worded it, was is it hypocrisy?

But to also open the question of... Is this is perfectly ok then what is too far?

If it's ok to have a fab profile and a dating profile saying you are not looking for sex (if it is according to other users?) Then what would be too far?

At what point is something socially acceptable or not? Because what we say gives off what type of person we are. If what we say is not totally true. Isn't that a lie?

Hypocrisy? It's barefaced lying if the person is arranging meets on a sex site. Everyone lies, some are white lies, some are malicious, some are manipulative, when getting to know someone in the relationship context we must use our judgement as to whether or not that individual is to be trusted.

I agree totally.

And my original point was that a person is also being unfair to themselves if they are afraid to be honest with prospective partners. On the other hand, a woman might just say something like that on a dating profile to try to ward off men who lie about looking for relationships while only looking for sex.

I did think that but that would be at the cost of lying.

Then again, in this world, speaking of POF and fab. Am sure there are married individuals who use the website without their partners knowledge. Go figure I suppose.

Really dude what someone does with their life is purely none of your business or anyone elses is it hypocrisy maybe a little but I don't see how that affects you if you don't like how this lady is running things move on I'm on dating sites and I'm sure many here are too but your not seeing us with Jaws dropped at the shock of it and weather its ok or not that's really down to the person not outside judgement if they are happy how they are doing no ones opinions should matter like I said leave her be if you don't like it

This is a mature debate, topic, conversation or call it what you like. Not one user has said anything derogatory thus far.

You seem to be taking it quite personal. Like it's a personal attack on you.

Are you on POF?

Is that your dog in the fight?

That any opinions or views formed from this topic are considered "attacks" to you?

No but you made the thread not me so I presume wanted feedback so you have it

Il put this to you if none swinger was to approach that's absolutely against that life style and think it's wrong and disgusting would you listen and stop or listen to what they said but carry on with fab

And as a matter of fact I was on pof but didn't like it so I went with something else didn't know this was a thread for pof members only

Ok. May I ask, what would be too far tho?

You are on the side that it's perfectly acceptable. That's fine.

But what's not?

Going back to POF, if I as a man said how I wanted to meet Mrs right. Not into one nighters etc. But in truth I just want to shag all around me and just manipulate people into thinking I am something I am not... Is that socially acceptable?

What if I say how I'm intellectual. Read books. Open minded to other opinions blah blah. But in truth I'm ignorant and do nothing but laze about playing video games.

What about fab... If how we invidually use sites is perfectly and socially acceptable. Then surely it's ok for anyone to be on the website who is married or attached without their partners consent?

You can see where I am going. At what point is something "too far"

"

Well I neither condone nor support people that cheat is that too far perhaps but then somone else could come along and say different like who is the person that makes these rules and whether it's wrong or right acceptable or not can you point them out cos I can't if its not affecting you personally why should it matter what this woman is doing like have you even chatted to her or are you just going by what you read

Like for example some people don't believe in gay relationships and marriages and think it's not right or going too far do you think that's a fair assessment ok this example is a little different but same kinda point

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him.

I fear you may have read the post wrong.

The question, as long as I had worded it, was is it hypocrisy?

But to also open the question of... Is this is perfectly ok then what is too far?

If it's ok to have a fab profile and a dating profile saying you are not looking for sex (if it is according to other users?) Then what would be too far?

At what point is something socially acceptable or not? Because what we say gives off what type of person we are. If what we say is not totally true. Isn't that a lie?

Hypocrisy? It's barefaced lying if the person is arranging meets on a sex site. Everyone lies, some are white lies, some are malicious, some are manipulative, when getting to know someone in the relationship context we must use our judgement as to whether or not that individual is to be trusted.

I agree totally.

And my original point was that a person is also being unfair to themselves if they are afraid to be honest with prospective partners. On the other hand, a woman might just say something like that on a dating profile to try to ward off men who lie about looking for relationships while only looking for sex.

I did think that but that would be at the cost of lying.

Then again, in this world, speaking of POF and fab. Am sure there are married individuals who use the website without their partners knowledge. Go figure I suppose.

Really dude what someone does with their life is purely none of your business or anyone elses is it hypocrisy maybe a little but I don't see how that affects you if you don't like how this lady is running things move on I'm on dating sites and I'm sure many here are too but your not seeing us with Jaws dropped at the shock of it and weather its ok or not that's really down to the person not outside judgement if they are happy how they are doing no ones opinions should matter like I said leave her be if you don't like it

This is a mature debate, topic, conversation or call it what you like. Not one user has said anything derogatory thus far.

You seem to be taking it quite personal. Like it's a personal attack on you.

Are you on POF?

Is that your dog in the fight?

That any opinions or views formed from this topic are considered "attacks" to you?

No but you made the thread not me so I presume wanted feedback so you have it

Il put this to you if none swinger was to approach that's absolutely against that life style and think it's wrong and disgusting would you listen and stop or listen to what they said but carry on with fab

And as a matter of fact I was on pof but didn't like it so I went with something else didn't know this was a thread for pof members only

Ok. May I ask, what would be too far tho?

You are on the side that it's perfectly acceptable. That's fine.

But what's not?

Going back to POF, if I as a man said how I wanted to meet Mrs right. Not into one nighters etc. But in truth I just want to shag all around me and just manipulate people into thinking I am something I am not... Is that socially acceptable?

What if I say how I'm intellectual. Read books. Open minded to other opinions blah blah. But in truth I'm ignorant and do nothing but laze about playing video games.

What about fab... If how we invidually use sites is perfectly and socially acceptable. Then surely it's ok for anyone to be on the website who is married or attached without their partners consent?

You can see where I am going. At what point is something "too far"

Well I neither condone nor support people that cheat is that too far perhaps but then somone else could come along and say different like who is the person that makes these rules and whether it's wrong or right acceptable or not can you point them out cos I can't if its not affecting you personally why should it matter what this woman is doing like have you even chatted to her or are you just going by what you read

Like for example some people don't believe in gay relationships and marriages and think it's not right or going too far do you think that's a fair assessment ok this example is a little different but same kinda point "

And what's wrong with playing video games and lazing about I don't see how that would make you ignorant

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By *oft_sexy_sweetWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


" "Going back to POF, if I as a man said how I wanted to meet Mrs right. Not into one nighters etc. But in truth I just want to shag all around me and just manipulate people into thinking I am something I am not... Is that socially acceptable?""

No, because you're hurting people. She's not hurting anyone by not having casual sex with them. All lies are not equally bad.

Unless you're a raging misogynist and think that men are entitled to casual ex from women no matter how women are actually treated in society when they do have casual sex, and somehow imagine the solution to that societal issue is to call women liars on online forums instead of looking at the root of the issue, ie patriarchy and how men treat sexual women as disposable, and not worth dating.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him.

I fear you may have read the post wrong.

The question, as long as I had worded it, was is it hypocrisy?

But to also open the question of... Is this is perfectly ok then what is too far?

If it's ok to have a fab profile and a dating profile saying you are not looking for sex (if it is according to other users?) Then what would be too far?

At what point is something socially acceptable or not? Because what we say gives off what type of person we are. If what we say is not totally true. Isn't that a lie?

Hypocrisy? It's barefaced lying if the person is arranging meets on a sex site. Everyone lies, some are white lies, some are malicious, some are manipulative, when getting to know someone in the relationship context we must use our judgement as to whether or not that individual is to be trusted.

I agree totally.

And my original point was that a person is also being unfair to themselves if they are afraid to be honest with prospective partners. On the other hand, a woman might just say something like that on a dating profile to try to ward off men who lie about looking for relationships while only looking for sex.

I did think that but that would be at the cost of lying.

Then again, in this world, speaking of POF and fab. Am sure there are married individuals who use the website without their partners knowledge. Go figure I suppose.

Really dude what someone does with their life is purely none of your business or anyone elses is it hypocrisy maybe a little but I don't see how that affects you if you don't like how this lady is running things move on I'm on dating sites and I'm sure many here are too but your not seeing us with Jaws dropped at the shock of it and weather its ok or not that's really down to the person not outside judgement if they are happy how they are doing no ones opinions should matter like I said leave her be if you don't like it

This is a mature debate, topic, conversation or call it what you like. Not one user has said anything derogatory thus far.

You seem to be taking it quite personal. Like it's a personal attack on you.

Are you on POF?

Is that your dog in the fight?

That any opinions or views formed from this topic are considered "attacks" to you?

No but you made the thread not me so I presume wanted feedback so you have it

Il put this to you if none swinger was to approach that's absolutely against that life style and think it's wrong and disgusting would you listen and stop or listen to what they said but carry on with fab

And as a matter of fact I was on pof but didn't like it so I went with something else didn't know this was a thread for pof members only

Ok. May I ask, what would be too far tho?

You are on the side that it's perfectly acceptable. That's fine.

But what's not?

Going back to POF, if I as a man said how I wanted to meet Mrs right. Not into one nighters etc. But in truth I just want to shag all around me and just manipulate people into thinking I am something I am not... Is that socially acceptable?

What if I say how I'm intellectual. Read books. Open minded to other opinions blah blah. But in truth I'm ignorant and do nothing but laze about playing video games.

What about fab... If how we invidually use sites is perfectly and socially acceptable. Then surely it's ok for anyone to be on the website who is married or attached without their partners consent?

You can see where I am going. At what point is something "too far"

Well I neither condone nor support people that cheat is that too far perhaps but then somone else could come along and say different like who is the person that makes these rules and whether it's wrong or right acceptable or not can you point them out cos I can't if its not affecting you personally why should it matter what this woman is doing like have you even chatted to her or are you just going by what you read

Like for example some people don't believe in gay relationships and marriages and think it's not right or going too far do you think that's a fair assessment ok this example is a little different but same kinda point

And what's wrong with playing video games and lazing about I don't see how that would make you ignorant "

I actually rubbed my nose when reading that haha.

Look I don't mean to come off as some smart arse or anything like that. But what you did is a cliche avoidance retort.

It's when you totally ignore so many points but you cherry pick one. One that focus in on. Often it can be something so small or irrelevant. But you wish to one up the other person so you talk about that.

So.. I'm really wasting my time trying to have a civilised discussion here right? You just wish to be correct and will pinpoint and ignore to achieve that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" "Going back to POF, if I as a man said how I wanted to meet Mrs right. Not into one nighters etc. But in truth I just want to shag all around me and just manipulate people into thinking I am something I am not... Is that socially acceptable?"

No, because you're hurting people. She's not hurting anyone by not having casual sex with them. All lies are not equally bad.

Unless you're a raging misogynist and think that men are entitled to casual ex from women no matter how women are actually treated in society when they do have casual sex, and somehow imagine the solution to that societal issue is to call women liars on online forums instead of looking at the root of the issue, ie patriarchy and how men treat sexual women as disposable, and not worth dating.

"

AHH very good

Engaging with me to only insult. I like it. It was crafted good. 5/5.

But I understand you. Interesting points. I really hope a lot of people reply to this thread. So we can all get an overhead average opinion.

I'd hate for it to be sucked down by users who white knight against male users on forums. That's not to imply it has of course. Such users can do such things.

;)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" "Going back to POF, if I as a man said how I wanted to meet Mrs right. Not into one nighters etc. But in truth I just want to shag all around me and just manipulate people into thinking I am something I am not... Is that socially acceptable?"

No, because you're hurting people. She's not hurting anyone by not having casual sex with them. All lies are not equally bad.

Unless you're a raging misogynist and think that men are entitled to casual ex from women no matter how women are actually treated in society when they do have casual sex, and somehow imagine the solution to that societal issue is to call women liars on online forums instead of looking at the root of the issue, ie patriarchy and how men treat sexual women as disposable, and not worth dating.

"

Do you not think this women is playing into that view kn her POF profile though by saying she is not that kind of women, as if there something wrong with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op- Are you one of these men who pedestalizes women? Much as I hate to shatter the illusion that women are these perfect creatures. Women like to fuck!

Most attractive looking women never truly grow up, as they just tend to breeze through life safe in the knowledge they will always be a never ending stream of white Knights and "good men" ready and willing to cater to their every whim, and reinforce their delusions of grandeur.

Why else do you think "MOST" but not all women, spend inordinate amounts of time and money on hair, make-up, clothes, gym membership, and cosmetic surgery? It's solely to enhance their sexual marketplace value, so they can attract the highest value male they possibly can.

Quite a lot of people on here probably think I'm a mal-content misogynist, but I'm actually a well travelled worldly wise guy who just understands female nature better than most guys. I've been in several long-term relationships, had multiple affairs with married women, had dozens of friends with benefits over the years, so yeah I enjoy being with women, but I'm savvy to female nature, and all the little tricks women play.

Finally- Never ever judge a woman by what she says. Women use words like confetti, most of what they say is utterly meaningless twaddle. Only ever judge a woman by her actions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him.

I fear you may have read the post wrong.

The question, as long as I had worded it, was is it hypocrisy?

But to also open the question of... Is this is perfectly ok then what is too far?

If it's ok to have a fab profile and a dating profile saying you are not looking for sex (if it is according to other users?) Then what would be too far?

At what point is something socially acceptable or not? Because what we say gives off what type of person we are. If what we say is not totally true. Isn't that a lie?

Hypocrisy? It's barefaced lying if the person is arranging meets on a sex site. Everyone lies, some are white lies, some are malicious, some are manipulative, when getting to know someone in the relationship context we must use our judgement as to whether or not that individual is to be trusted.

I agree totally.

And my original point was that a person is also being unfair to themselves if they are afraid to be honest with prospective partners. On the other hand, a woman might just say something like that on a dating profile to try to ward off men who lie about looking for relationships while only looking for sex.

I did think that but that would be at the cost of lying.

Then again, in this world, speaking of POF and fab. Am sure there are married individuals who use the website without their partners knowledge. Go figure I suppose.

Really dude what someone does with their life is purely none of your business or anyone elses is it hypocrisy maybe a little but I don't see how that affects you if you don't like how this lady is running things move on I'm on dating sites and I'm sure many here are too but your not seeing us with Jaws dropped at the shock of it and weather its ok or not that's really down to the person not outside judgement if they are happy how they are doing no ones opinions should matter like I said leave her be if you don't like it

This is a mature debate, topic, conversation or call it what you like. Not one user has said anything derogatory thus far.

You seem to be taking it quite personal. Like it's a personal attack on you.

Are you on POF?

Is that your dog in the fight?

That any opinions or views formed from this topic are considered "attacks" to you?

No but you made the thread not me so I presume wanted feedback so you have it

Il put this to you if none swinger was to approach that's absolutely against that life style and think it's wrong and disgusting would you listen and stop or listen to what they said but carry on with fab

And as a matter of fact I was on pof but didn't like it so I went with something else didn't know this was a thread for pof members only

Ok. May I ask, what would be too far tho?

You are on the side that it's perfectly acceptable. That's fine.

But what's not?

Going back to POF, if I as a man said how I wanted to meet Mrs right. Not into one nighters etc. But in truth I just want to shag all around me and just manipulate people into thinking I am something I am not... Is that socially acceptable?

What if I say how I'm intellectual. Read books. Open minded to other opinions blah blah. But in truth I'm ignorant and do nothing but laze about playing video games.

What about fab... If how we invidually use sites is perfectly and socially acceptable. Then surely it's ok for anyone to be on the website who is married or attached without their partners consent?

You can see where I am going. At what point is something "too far"

Well I neither condone nor support people that cheat is that too far perhaps but then somone else could come along and say different like who is the person that makes these rules and whether it's wrong or right acceptable or not can you point them out cos I can't if its not affecting you personally why should it matter what this woman is doing like have you even chatted to her or are you just going by what you read

Like for example some people don't believe in gay relationships and marriages and think it's not right or going too far do you think that's a fair assessment ok this example is a little different but same kinda point

And what's wrong with playing video games and lazing about I don't see how that would make you ignorant

I actually rubbed my nose when reading that haha.

Look I don't mean to come off as some smart arse or anything like that. But what you did is a cliche avoidance retort.

It's when you totally ignore so many points but you cherry pick one. One that focus in on. Often it can be something so small or irrelevant. But you wish to one up the other person so you talk about that.

So.. I'm really wasting my time trying to have a civilised discussion here right? You just wish to be correct and will pinpoint and ignore to achieve that.

"

Just curious tho in what way do how this woman run her life have any affect on you and your daily life has she hurt you has been sending you vile messages has she been judging you how you live your life if not then back to the main point it's none of your business and I'm not gunna keep going back and forth repeating my it's a beautiful day I think it's time to enjoy it than having pointless arguments have a good day

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By *iquidRavenMan
over a year ago

Dublin

It could be as simple as this woman not wanting to use POF for sex, hookups etc. wanting to use it more as a standard dating site... all platforms have there own inherent rules, ways of proceeding etc.. dudes asking for sex on POF to her may and for real (not sure was never on it) be the type of dude she doesn't want to entertain

Whereas on Fab,in theory you may more likely meet people a bit more leftfield and open to non- standard sexual behaviour, what's acceptable and so on.. it might still be just sex people are after but it's been undertaken in/on a site with this inherent difference to 'normal' sites

But I think it's her right to do as she pleases anyway... and I'm not White Knighting

I wonder if it was a guy would you theorizing the same? Again no judgement but we all to some extent have conditioned biases that we may not know and probably dont realise we have

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

@_iquidraven

If it was a guy I'd be saying the same. Let's not be sexist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first experience with online dating was over fifteen years ago when I joined anotherfriend.com. Back then before the advent of the smartphone, one had to have the financial resources to buy a laptop and a landline to access the internet. So quite a lot of the women were on the site well educated and serious about finding the perfect man, as if he actually exists...lol.

Well unsurprisingly the very same women I've had relationships, brief flings and affairs with are still on POF at this very moment, and the fuckers are still searching for the perfect man, as if he exists...

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By *uriousVoyeurMan
over a year ago

Northside

If I'm not mistaken,the OP's question and point is that there is a lady on POF who clearly stated she is not the kind of girl that wants just sex. But she's also here looking for sex! Is it acceptable? And if not,how far is acceptable in terms of lying?

My own view is that she clearly wants different things from both groups and is being dishonest, certainly on one anyway. If she is looking for a relationship on POF then she clearly doesn't want it based solely on sex and I get that. Maybe if she finds what she's looking for there,she won't need to be here.

Is she fooling potential partners on POF? Yes,by implying she's not the kind of girl that wants casual hook ups. But let's be honest,we ALL like to portray ourselves in the best light possible even if it means telling fibs. It's human nature. I don't see what she's doing as hypocrisy... merely giving herself the best chance of finding a relationship based on other interests, especially as relationships here tend to be based on sex. Initially anyway! Just my tuppence worth.

Of course, none of this is relevant if I've misunderstood the initial post

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

^ a very good post!

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

From my point of view, I don’t respond to men on dating sites that are clearly just looking for sex as I can find casual sex here when I want to and I would find it easier to find someone sexually compatible on fab than on POF etc.

I would have an issue with a woman saying she’s “not that type of woman” but I’d have an issue with that whether she was on fab or not.

Usually putting stipulations like “not here to hook up” on your dating profile is a filter of sorts. Not a terribly effective one but it does cut some of the dick pics out.

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By *razySexyCoolCorkWoman
over a year ago

Cork


"I don't see how that's unfair maybe she does want to date sometime and not rush into sex.

I was briefly on POF but I left because of the people who recognised me from Fab. They would message and say well you are on a sex site can I pop over for a ride. I don't do that on Fab so hardly going to do it on POF. Sometimes it would be nice to be taken out for dinner or drinks and not have it all about being sex."

Totally agree with this.

Also maybe her POF profile has face pictures etc and she doesn't want every Tom, Dick or Harry in her area thinking they can message her for sex.

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By *ac147Man
over a year ago

Belfast East

Personally I think everyone is over thinking what this lady is saying on her POF. I'm on plenty of fish as well as here and it is surprising how many old school friends and workmates are on it. I'm not going to put up pics of my cock on a site where people I see daily know me. The same goes for this girl, she probably doesn't want to say that she is open to fwb or ons in case a friend/ family member sees it. Plus... and I must stress... yes I am on POF and Fab,I still have not met a girl on Fab yet ( stupid Covid ) perhaps this lady is the same?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm on pof . I'm looking to date just because I'm here means what ?. I havent been meeting for long time . But I get plenty if guys who question why I'm on pof. Are ladies not entitled to look for sumthing more then a ride just because there here or have been . I find it funny when I get these guys who say I know u from fab which means hey fancy a ride or they say why pretend ur only looking for sex. Fab is fine but one thing since this lock down fab is a lonely place and I think we all deserve happiness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm on pof . I'm looking to date just because I'm here means what ?. I havent been meeting for long time . But I get plenty if guys who question why I'm on pof. Are ladies not entitled to look for sumthing more then a ride just because there here or have been . I find it funny when I get these guys who say I know u from fab which means hey fancy a ride or they say why pretend ur only looking for sex. Fab is fine but one thing since this lock down fab is a lonely place and I think we all deserve happiness. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/04/20 10:43:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just can't understand why a woman would want a relationship with a man who sees women with a sexual past as beneath him. "

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west


"I'm on pof . I'm looking to date just because I'm here means what ?. I havent been meeting for long time . But I get plenty if guys who question why I'm on pof. Are ladies not entitled to look for sumthing more then a ride just because there here or have been . I find it funny when I get these guys who say I know u from fab which means hey fancy a ride or they say why pretend ur only looking for sex. Fab is fine but one thing since this lock down fab is a lonely place and I think we all deserve happiness. "

Yep this is a better time than any to get to know someone better like I keep stressing it's not all about sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Op- Are you one of these men who pedestalizes women? Much as I hate to shatter the illusion that women are these perfect creatures. Women like to fuck!

Most attractive looking women never truly grow up, as they just tend to breeze through life safe in the knowledge they will always be a never ending stream of white Knights and "good men" ready and willing to cater to their every whim, and reinforce their delusions of grandeur.

Why else do you think "MOST" but not all women, spend inordinate amounts of time and money on hair, make-up, clothes, gym membership, and cosmetic surgery? It's solely to enhance their sexual marketplace value, so they can attract the highest value male they possibly can.

Quite a lot of people on here probably think I'm a mal-content misogynist, but I'm actually a well travelled worldly wise guy who just understands female nature better than most guys. I've been in several long-term relationships, had multiple affairs with married women, had dozens of friends with benefits over the years, so yeah I enjoy being with women, but I'm savvy to female nature, and all the little tricks women play.

Finally- Never ever judge a woman by what she says. Women use words like confetti, most of what they say is utterly meaningless twaddle. Only ever judge a woman by her actions.

"

You never fail to continually lower the bar

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"Op- Are you one of these men who pedestalizes women? Much as I hate to shatter the illusion that women are these perfect creatures. Women like to fuck!

Most attractive looking women never truly grow up, as they just tend to breeze through life safe in the knowledge they will always be a never ending stream of white Knights and "good men" ready and willing to cater to their every whim, and reinforce their delusions of grandeur.

Why else do you think "MOST" but not all women, spend inordinate amounts of time and money on hair, make-up, clothes, gym membership, and cosmetic surgery? It's solely to enhance their sexual marketplace value, so they can attract the highest value male they possibly can.

Quite a lot of people on here probably think I'm a mal-content misogynist, but I'm actually a well travelled worldly wise guy who just understands female nature better than most guys. I've been in several long-term relationships, had multiple affairs with married women, had dozens of friends with benefits over the years, so yeah I enjoy being with women, but I'm savvy to female nature, and all the little tricks women play.

Finally- Never ever judge a woman by what she says. Women use words like confetti, most of what they say is utterly meaningless twaddle. Only ever judge a woman by her actions.

"

I've to disappoint you but you're not a misogynist, you're just a cheap sexist trying to stir with the same outdated arguments over and over again. Yawn.

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

So what you're saying is you noticed someone on here and then proceeded to stalk her on POF or was it the other way around?

How do you know she isn't using fab for dating ? I know many people who've met their partner on fab.

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By *urvySingleLadyWoman
over a year ago

Limerick/Galway


"So to make a long story really short for reading purposes. I am on and off POF. Mainly off as I feel that website is rather miss than hit. But that's only my opinion.

My mentality of using POF is whatever happens happens. I accept that, while sure some only look for "relationships" - most use it as a hook up site and hey open to more should it happen. Fair right?

Well I was on fab earlier and I came across a woman who has one of those "nose down to chest" pics. You know, you see up to their nose so it's like half a face pic. But I knew her... I was trying to wreck my brain so I went "aha plenty"

So I log in and search for her.... Now we get to the question of the thread and I guess the point of it. She, which of course I won't say who as I have no right to put them, but she says do not message me for sex. I am not that type of girl etc "

Maybe she isn’t the type of person that likes to receive messages for sex, maybe she likes to send those messages herself. Just a thought.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

So if you are on pof and here are you straight up telling the women you meet in both you are on here as well. If not are you not being hypocritical as well op.

I think people can be on either site and it's up to them how they run their profiles

Personally I have never been on pof or any dating site as I am happy with being single and the way things are .

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By *man79Man
over a year ago

newry dundalk. warrenpoint

I’ve completed all dating sites except Grindr

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