FabSwingers.com forum: should I stay or should I go

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

After two years of being on this site having zero contact with women, I tryed being a payed member but still didn't receive any messages or replies to messages.

I have always been polite and patient.

But now I'm coming to the conclusion this site is not for me especially as it's making me feel depressed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two years is very early days for this site, you need to be patient.

I've done over ten years so far with no meets.

Never give up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Two years is very early days for this site, you need to be patient.

I've done over ten years so far with no meets.

Never give up

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

If it's making you depressed, I'd leave. No internet site is worth your mental health.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"If it's making you depressed, I'd leave. No internet site is worth your mental health."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give it a break for a bit

Try a club

Or chat on forums.. Can be a good laff at times.

Nothing is more precious than mental health

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

I'm surprised you've had no luck so far... you're a nice looking guy and you have a decent profile. Maybe attend a few socials if they're on in your area to meet people face to face or visit a club 'just to check it out' (no expectations).

Hope your luck changes soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd its making you feel depressed walk away. Its supposed to be fun

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By *Man1263Man
over a year ago

Stockport

I think sometimes it's best just to have a week or two off from fab every now and again, I do.

Come back bright eyed and bushy tailed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one else sing that?!

Sorry op totally not helpful

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Each of us can only decide for ourselves whether we invest time and energy in to something. I think a swingers site is best as an extra to the swinging world for single men. At least if he's also socialising with swingers, he's meeting others and likely getting sex too.

I'd also suggest everyone gets sex via several routes, unless a nun or monk etc.

You can continue as now, change your approach and continue or leave. We each have to decide though. Lots of tips on how to improve potential success for single guys on the forum

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Definitely do not let the site harm your emotional health op! It's totally important to look after yourself

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks all for your feed back.

To be honest I'm a widow I lost my partner 10 years ago I don't feel like getting into another relationship every time I get into a relationship it's difficult.

Just want to have some fun, I didn't join this site just to be rejected time and time again.

I can do that on any dating site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take a step back every time it stops being fun but if you leave I’d guess you’d miss it as it can get a bit addictive

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Your mental health is very important. If there are any changes you can make that will help or improve it they're worth thinking about.

You don't have to leave, you could hide your profile and come back when you feel stronger.

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By *ugglesMan
over a year ago

dudley

As a guy moving from being a couples profile to a single guy profile I feel your pain. You may want to consider lowering your expectations with what you find attractive. Single girls and couples on here have their total pick of young gym fit guys. Also these young guys will shag absolutely anything. Literally ....Anything. The granny does not even need to be glamorous. If she has a working vagina...They will spend the night with her. So... your best in is with your messages. Be witty. Sparkling. Something that makes them curious. Curious enough to message back. And build from there. You may actually find a very good friend with benefits. Maybe even a best friend.

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By *essica jamiesonWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

Meeting females with a paid up membership isnt promised, u obv assumed u wud get meets! Dont take rejection personal its not real life, go to clubs and meet like minded folk dont depend on meeting females here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delete your account.

Seriously

Take a break and think about yourself and why you cant get meets. Research. Go to a bar or pub. Take a weekend away to the countryside or another country entirely. Airbnb somewhere in Yorkshire or book a cheap hostel in Europe. You can do an entire trip for less than 100 quid if you are frugal enough. Find yourself before finding another. Knowing that you cant access your account makes that so much easier.

When you are ready, make a new account. A blank slate, a new beginning. A rebirth.

Come back when you are ready. You will know when you are. Confidence in yourself makes rejection easier but also less likely. Forget about just using the forums and such. Just delete your account.

Just something you pick up dealing with other things in life. Same thing applies here in some ways.

Good luck mate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with the other posters that you should definitely take a break if being on here is getting you down.

Having said that, if you want some honest feedback on your profile should you choose to stay:

I would look at changing bits of your bio. "I've done the whole relationship thing but I still have needs" - can't speak for everyone but if I were quickly scanning someone's bio and read that I would assume they were still in said relationship and were on here to cheat because of the way it's worded. Say that you are after someone to chat and have fun with but try not to mention the R word as that can be a bit of a divisive subject on here.

Try not to mention threesomes and orgies either, maybe try saying you're up for joining a couple instead. Again speaking from personal preference here but some women like to feel as if they're the only one you're interested in so saying off the cuff that you want multiple in one go might put them off. Don't say you "didn't mind" being someone's dom - that kind of experience is kinky and exciting yet you're making it come across as boring, like it was something you did to fill your Sunday afternoons.

There's quite a bit of waffle at the end you could get rid of too. Your bio is prime real estate that needs to showcase how interesting you are. Talk about your hobbies or talents. Say what you can bring to someone's life. Saying you'll fill in more at another time says to me you reckon your profile's not up to scratch but also you can't be bothered to fix it right now. Don't ask for advice either, that's what the forums are for plus it makes you sound unconfident. You don't need the bit about dick pics either, trust me.

Which brings me onto your pics. Nothing drastically wrong with them but I would go for a nice smile instead of pulling a face and take them somewhere with good lighting as there is one which is quite dark and is making it hard to see you properly. Try getting other people to take pics of you too so you look more natural.

Lastly, your status - get rid of it. A whiney status about how fab is not working for you is a one way road to delete or block. Put something up that makes you seem interesting, like whether you're looking forward to some plans with friends tonight or even what you've had for dinner if it's something impressive. Don't use it as a way to ask for meets either.

Sorry if any of this has come across as harsh or too scrupulous but I truly think the above might help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t just message with a fixed idea about meeting chat to the ladies talk about everyday things they are so used to men after one thing you may be surprised at the results good luck

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By *ussexcouple40Couple
over a year ago

Sussex

As Amber said. Your profile could do with some tweaking. That said, it's not too bad I've seen way worse with lots of meets.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"After two years of being on this site having zero contact with women, I tryed being a payed member but still didn't receive any messages or replies to messages.

I have always been polite and patient.

But now I'm coming to the conclusion this site is not for me especially as it's making me feel depressed.

Leave, why stay if it's making you depressed ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not worth getting depressed over fella..give the site a rest or yeah maybe leave..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After two years of being on this site having zero contact with women, I tryed being a payed member but still didn't receive any messages or replies to messages.

I have always been polite and patient.

But now I'm coming to the conclusion this site is not for me especially as it's making me feel depressed.

"
well if its making you ill its definitely worth leaving and two years with no success not good, try other internet domains or maybe meeting women in person

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks all for all your feed back I kind of wish there was a like button

so I can click on your comments but I have to say they're all really good.

I think I'm going to take a break, concentrate on other Things, maybe sone volunteer work that has in the past has been a good way meet other

I might even return after my break with a plan to help others in this forum with similar problems, maybe create a safe place where people can come and chat or encourage the site owners to put a link to a site where you can get help.

One again I would like Thank you all for your support and feedback.

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By *assy_AttitudeWoman
over a year ago

RHYL

Good luck with everything you do x

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"Thanks all for all your feed back I kind of wish there was a like button

so I can click on your comments but I have to say they're all really good.

I think I'm going to take a break, concentrate on other Things, maybe sone volunteer work that has in the past has been a good way meet other

One again I would like Thank you all for your support and feedback. "
. I think the best thing to do is take a break from Fabs.If you decide to stay then look at attending socials in or near your area.If you are looking to meet people then perhaps consider meet up I am a member of some groups and we just do simple things like meet up for a drink or meal , cinema night , in the summer music festivals.Best of luck with whatever you decide.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics

Instead of leaving just hide your profile and then you can always come back to it. Also Fab should be just one of the things you are doing in order to meet people, not the only thing, go to socials and clubs look at other ways of meeting people who enjoy this lifestyle.

If anything if making you feel down then stay away from it there's no need need to be on here if it's not working for you but rather than leave just hide your profile, take some time out and then you can always return.

I wish you well.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I can emphasise, this sites always tease, tease, tease.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Two weeks after some advice...this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can barely get a reply haha I just imagine like most sites it’s 100 to 1 ratio men to women ha

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By *aidForSharingWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

OP you sound a real gentleman and don't come across as desperate or seedy like so many others. It's clear to see that decent guys are not deemed exciting enough on here. I just thought I'd throw my two pennyworth in to let you know that your profile is a decent one!

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By *aidForSharingWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

" ...these young guys will shag absolutely anything. Literally ....Anything. The granny does not even need to be glamorous. If she has a working vagina...They will spend the night with her. "

Charming. Many young guys like the company of older women and aren't fixated on 'glamour', Whatever that's supposed to be, Don't assume because a woman is not physically as beautiful as she was in her youth she's no longer attractive to men. I have more men in their 20s now than I ever had when I was 20. And not just from Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d honestly suggest you leave.

For single guys this place can be a real downer and toxic for men’s mental health. If it’s getting to you then I think you should call it a day. There is no guarantee things will change for you on here, but given the trend of it I’d say it will more than likely stay the same.

It’s not worth your mental health.

I do hope things start looking up for you soon though.

Ps:

1)To clarify, I am sure this place has effects on women’s mental health too - not being a woman I wouldn’t know so have no perspective on it.

2)I am not saying of the back of this he definitely won’t meet somebody but that knowing the trend of how the site works and the likelihood of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I understand why you chose fab being a widow myself I get it and it's very hard as a single man with so many on this site to stand out in the crowd keep your chin up I've had a couple of meets and also chatted to some wonderful people.

Half my problem is being a single dad not having much time for meets when it suits other people my time is limited

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By *heyoungwolfMan
over a year ago

Stockwell

"No one else sing that?!

Sorry op totally not helpful

You're not alone!

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By *thleticgirthMan
over a year ago

wirral

Unfortunately the males are so heavily outnumbered that men have to drop there standards and couples and women can massively up theirs. Unless you look like Brad Pitt then you are going to have to accept a lot of ignored emails i’m afraid.

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By *thleticgirthMan
over a year ago

wirral

At the risk of sounding shallow, i do well in the real world but struggle on here and i am polite and respectful in all messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After two years of being on this site having zero contact with women, I tryed being a payed member but still didn't receive any messages or replies to messages.

I have always been polite and patient.

But now I'm coming to the conclusion this site is not for me especially as it's making me feel depressed.

Leave then if it's making you depressed, as if a stranger needs to tell you

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