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By *nimal0609 OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington

Hi everyone, I’ve only been on here for a few months (this time round. Had an account a while ago but was never using it) and I’ve hit a few roadblocks so any help would be appreciated.

I am very shy / quiet and terrible at chatting online and advertising myself. I want to know how to put myself out there in the real world by finding contacts ready to meet in a comfortable, and if preferable, public arena where I can chat to someone face to face and become a full member of this community. My luck with meets on here is abysmal and any advice on that front would be equally helpful

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By *nimal0609 OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington

P.S.. Before people recommend the club scene for a first step please note that I feel really nervous about the prospect of heading for one alone. A sponsor I’ve met in person prior is pretty much what I would like to take from this forum

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal


"P.S.. Before people recommend the club scene for a first step please note that I feel really nervous about the prospect of heading for one alone. A sponsor I’ve met in person prior is pretty much what I would like to take from this forum"

For starters go to a Club with a mate/ friend you can trust since your so shy... you can find a few locally, meet for coffee and go from there fella

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By starting your own thread and commenting on others, you're already taking steps into the community, so consider yourself already a part of it my friend.

As for meeting others..

- Go to a local group social, its daunting, but you won't overcome your lack of confidence if you dont push yourself. Sex doesnt happen at group socials, it's just a chance for facetime with people on here. If you're really nervous, try one farther away from home then work back inwards. If you intend to stick around the Forum, there are even Forum based Group Socials like the MLS.

- Send respectful, yet charming messages, make them uniquely yours.

- Try video chatting. The Forum has chat rooms, but there are other apps like kik that allow you to video chat 1 on 1.

- Clubs are expensive. I'd not reccomend them to any man starting out. If you end up down that route eventually, shop about and try to find someone to go with.

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By *team7279Couple
over a year ago

London

Yes, group socials were our way into things, and we love them. Just a great night out where you can meet like minded people (and also get lots of advice). No pressure to get with anyone, but certainly the opportunity to make connections for future meets.

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By *nimal0609 OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington

What advice can you give to someone if they're a bit nervous about just turning up to one of the socials or club nights without knowing someone in person prior to the event?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/09/19 17:58:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve never been to a club or an organised social.

If guys are friendly and chatty during message exchanges I’ll let them buy me a coffee and I will verify them on the spot for the social.

A few social verifications on a profile is generally enough to get things going for most men.

I’m put off by men if their first few verifications come from club visits or turning up at someone’s house for a shag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What advice can you give to someone if they're a bit nervous about just turning up to one of the socials or club nights without knowing someone in person prior to the event?"

I went to the club shhh social last. It was my first visit to a club but as it was a social it was easy going and had a brilliant time.. Just go in get a drink and chat. I like you was very nervous . I wasn't sure what to expect but once I realised it's just normal laid-back folk having fun you couldn't shut me up. Got a nice tour of the venue and joined straight away. Going back next week. Once you've been you will leave thinking why was I so nervous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first club was Vanilla Alternative. I was very lucky. In the car park on the way in, a single woman was walking in and we briefly chatted.

Once inside i bought a pint, stood like a lemon at the bar, and decided i was an idiot going to a swinging club and not socialising.

So i went over to the woman, asked if i could join her, we chatted and then eventually played a bit.

It took me weeks to build up the "fuck it" mentally of going.

Once I went again with her, it was much easier to break into conversations. So the advice about meeting people at socials is probably good advice... I probably need to follow it too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What advice can you give to someone if they're a bit nervous about just turning up to one of the socials or club nights without knowing someone in person prior to the event?"

To suck it in and crack on regardless. Yes, initially it's a bit nerve wracking. They're just people though... no better or worse than you are. The more experienced of us were all in your shoes at one point. Hopefully the people you bump into will remember how their first time felt.

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By *team7279Couple
over a year ago

London


"What advice can you give to someone if they're a bit nervous about just turning up to one of the socials or club nights without knowing someone in person prior to the event?

To suck it in and crack on regardless. Yes, initially it's a bit nerve wracking. They're just people though... no better or worse than you are. The more experienced of us were all in your shoes at one point. Hopefully the people you bump into will remember how their first time felt."

Yeah, what he said. Also, people are generally lovely and welcoming at the socials, and odds are good you won't be the only newbie there. You'll also find it incredibly liberating just to talk sex with folks. We love that aspect of it!

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