FabSwingers.com forum: General profile advice (no luck/ what's wrong etc)

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm not looking for advice on my profile. I'm writing this as something to guide other people to about theirs, because nine times out of ten the problems are similar or identical.

Does your profile sell the best version of you? Look from the position of someone who wants to meet you: why would he/ she/ they want to meet you rather than someone else? What's in it for them? Are you only talking about what you want? Might that make you sound selfish?

What makes you different? Most profiles are a dime a dozen. Make yours interesting and unique. No really, spend some time thinking about it, it's not a two minute job.

Are your pictures enticing to the people you're looking for? (while different people like different things, lots of genital shots and action shots do put people off, so proceed with caution) Show off your body, it doesn't have to be face or genitals.

Legal disclaimers: waste of time, make you look gullible, worthless, get rid of them.

If your interests or age range are niche or limited, that may make things harder to find.

Age, gender, and ethnicity preferences are not up for discussion. Respect people's right to like what they like.

If you're finding it hard to break in because you're not meet/ cam (tick) verified, get cam verified or go to a club or social. Meeting otherwise is possible, but it's going to be much harder. (The tick isn't an entry point to endless sex, either, although it does make it easier)

Read profiles and be respectful of wishes in messages. If you don't like what people are asking for (face pictures, particular subject lines), don't message them. Delete means no, it's not rude. Blocks are final.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for advice i was beginning to think it was hopeless on here??

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Thanks for advice i was beginning to think it was hopeless on here??"

It's a tough gig for guys on here, but honestly, you only get out what you put in.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"Thanks for advice i was beginning to think it was hopeless on here??

It's a tough gig for guys on here, but honestly, you only get out what you put in."

No pun intended?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thankyou OP.. I need to work on mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now whatever you do, don't disagree with her haha

That's not allowed on this forum

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Now whatever you do, don't disagree with her haha

That's not allowed on this forum "

I'm not sure that's desperately helpful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now whatever you do, don't disagree with her haha

That's not allowed on this forum

I'm not sure that's desperately helpful. "

No I'm just being silly...it's good advice really x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not looking for advice on my profile. I'm writing this as something to guide other people to about theirs, because nine times out of ten the problems are similar or identical.

What makes you different? Most profiles are a dime a dozen. Make yours interesting and unique. No really, spend some time thinking about it, it's not a two minute job.

Legal disclaimers: waste of time, make you look gullible, worthless, get rid of them.

If your interests or age range are niche or limited, that may make things harder to find.

Age, gender, and ethnicity preferences are not up for discussion. Respect people's right to like what they like.

Just one thing to add, there is no shortcut or formula for success, you trying and you will meet, but in this process keep head cool and calm and no abuse is you are rejected.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Yes. This isn't a road map to success, it's mistakes to avoid making.

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"Now whatever you do, don't disagree with her haha

That's not allowed on this forum "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m giving up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can someone take a look at my profile and give me some advice

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

"Can someone take a look at my profile and give me some advice "

'My' profile?, 'I' prefer? You are supposed to be a couple. The only thing your profile tells me is that you sound fake. You need to work on all aspects of it and get verified. There are plenty of threads out there on general profile advice so do a search.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Can someone take a look at my profile and give me some advice

That and the very first post applies!

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By *oul BrothaMan
over a year ago

A Galaxy far far away

Good advice, cheers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great tips!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meet someone in a club instead of chatting on here? Simples..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what any guy can... Hit the gym. Buy so.e.decent clothes and make yourself look as good as you can.

Also don't be an arsehole

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Do what any guy can... Hit the gym. Buy so.e.decent clothes and make yourself look as good as you can.

Also don't be an arsehole"

The first bit isn't going to suit everyone. Different people like different things and not everyone's out to be a gym rat.

The last bit... absolutely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do what any guy can... Hit the gym. Buy so.e.decent clothes and make yourself look as good as you can.

Also don't be an arsehole

The first bit isn't going to suit everyone. Different people like different things and not everyone's out to be a gym rat.

The last bit... absolutely. "

Ok buts its playing the percentages, there are more than enough women who loves gym rats x

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Do what any guy can... Hit the gym. Buy so.e.decent clothes and make yourself look as good as you can.

Also don't be an arsehole

The first bit isn't going to suit everyone. Different people like different things and not everyone's out to be a gym rat.

The last bit... absolutely.

Ok buts its playing the percentages, there are more than enough women who loves gym rats x"

Maybe! But it's miserable to keep up if you don't enjoy it, and other women find gym rats intimidating. I'm all for selling who *you* are.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Excellent advice OP - doesn't guarantee a thing at all but if people heed it and couple it with the right attitude, approach and expectations it can only improve their experience of the site.

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By *jb773Man
over a year ago

Bishops Stortford

Same for me, I've edited my profile countless times trying to make it perfect, if anyone could look at it for me, it would be greatly appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good write up, but pics need improvement I see dullness (personal view), hope that helps

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By *jb773Man
over a year ago

Bishops Stortford

"Good write up, but pics need improvement I see dullness (personal view), hope that helps"

How so?

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Shameless bump

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By *pitfiremk10Man
over a year ago

Gloucester

"I'm not looking for advice on my profile. I'm writing this as something to guide other people to about theirs, because nine times out of ten the problems are similar or identical.

What makes you different? Most profiles are a dime a dozen. Make yours interesting and unique. No really, spend some time thinking about it, it's not a two minute job.

Legal disclaimers: waste of time, make you look gullible, worthless, get rid of them.

If your interests or age range are niche or limited, that may make things harder to find.

Age, gender, and ethnicity preferences are not up for discussion. Respect people's right to like what they like.

I really admire the effort and thought you put into this OP. I think that's the heart of fab offering good sound advice is priceless.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"I'm not looking for advice on my profile. I'm writing this as something to guide other people to about theirs, because nine times out of ten the problems are similar or identical.

What makes you different? Most profiles are a dime a dozen. Make yours interesting and unique. No really, spend some time thinking about it, it's not a two minute job.

Legal disclaimers: waste of time, make you look gullible, worthless, get rid of them.

If your interests or age range are niche or limited, that may make things harder to find.

Age, gender, and ethnicity preferences are not up for discussion. Respect people's right to like what they like.

Preach.

*goes off to rewrite profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not looking for advice on my profile. I'm writing this as something to guide other people to about theirs, because nine times out of ten the problems are similar or identical.

What makes you different? Most profiles are a dime a dozen. Make yours interesting and unique. No really, spend some time thinking about it, it's not a two minute job.

Legal disclaimers: waste of time, make you look gullible, worthless, get rid of them.

If your interests or age range are niche or limited, that may make things harder to find.

Age, gender, and ethnicity preferences are not up for discussion. Respect people's right to like what they like.

Thanks for this really helpful advice. I've spent quite a while on my profile but I'll go back and review with this info in mind!

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By *layfulpairsxCouple
over a year ago

Southend

Male of the trio writing here. The part that many single guys who join swinger's sites forget is that it takes a LOT of time and patience and effort and luck to get a meet.

I started on Dean Matty in about 2002. It took a long while to get anywhere, chatting in chat rooms, thinking I was not being too pushy, but I made all the mistakes under the sun. I did get pushy, arrogant, thin skinned etc.

You need to grow a thick skin very quickly, learn to out the fakes, accept the rejections and not expect instant gratification.

When you do get to meet you have to be interesting, different, attractive, fun to be with. MOST of all you CANNOT be desperate for a shag or come across like you are.

Confident not cocky.

You are going to be disappointed 99% of the time and that's a truism.

There's lots of good advice about going to clubs etc but if all you do there is follow women around like a woebegotten sheep you won't get anywhere. Don't expect to score. Expect to go several times and you have to talk to people sociably. Become known. That's how you build a relaxed approach and gain confidence.

Also don't try to play way above your game, if you approach only the most gorgeous women and you aren't super good looking you'll just get knocked back time and again.

If you haven't got any game, then get some. Read women's magazines, find out what makes women tick. Learn to be charming and non-clingy. Ask women you know at work or socially for help, they WILL help so long as you aren't sleazy.

Read books by pick up artists but use caution as women are wise to the peacocking, neg stuff etc. A good clothed photo on your profile, no dick pics, probably not even any gym selfies etc and NO pics of your cock over a toilet bowl. I'd bet most women would prefer a pic of you in a crisp white shirt to your cock shooting a wad.

Try to have an interesting viewpoint,

That is your starting point. BUT, even then it's no guarantee of success. The toughest bit is a meet where they don't fancy you. Move on, be nice, be respectful and you might get a verification even if they don't click with you. I got some of my best meets that way as a single back in 2004-2007.

If you read our veri's, the guy the girls played with at Eureka was non-pushy,respectful and got his reward by being laid back. It helped he was a good looking bloke in good physical shape but he could have been all of those and still screwed up.

As an aside a very young looking virgin guy got his first ever blowjob off S the same evening as she felt sorry for him. But he too was respectful.

I've been very very lucky to find 2 ladies who like eachother but also find me tolerable enough to share with me. It took me 16 years to reach this point, can you wait 16 years?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think yours needs any work !! Yum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile sounds like you are expecting others to put the work in. Your profile is how we judge your personality needs to be longer and show more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not for me personally but your profile doesn't need work it's great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not for me personally but your profile doesn't need work it's great"

Thanks for the feedback but who's it in response to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/08/19 22:22:26]

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Bump

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for posting OP. I often get put off, because I’m having a quiet spell! But then I realise I’ve chatted to loads of really nice people on here so it can’t be too bad.

Very selfless of you to put the effort in with the advice!

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

Its a total lottery in my view. Right place right time. You can maximise your chances by taking the sage advice given in this thread and many others. Be active in whichever ways you can and cross your fingers.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Still helpful, I think

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Bump

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By *lattyukbiMan
over a year ago

Rugby

"Thanks for advice i was beginning to think it was hopeless on here??

It's a tough gig for guys on here, but honestly, you only get out what you put in."

Honestly, hitting a club is the best way for a guy to get somewhere.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Thanks for advice i was beginning to think it was hopeless on here??

It's a tough gig for guys on here, but honestly, you only get out what you put in.

Honestly, hitting a club is the best way for a guy to get somewhere."

Not for everyone...

I had quite a few meets before I got the club's.

In the real world I can be a bit shy.

Online I can be a gobshite....

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Bump

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