FabSwingers.com forum: master

By *jwalls36 OP Man
over a year ago

near kirkham/poulton

Looking to become someone's master and have them obey me!

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Won't be me, you've a very poor estimation of women! For that reason I'm out!!!!

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By *jwalls36 OP Man
over a year ago

near kirkham/poulton

I have a high estimation of the female gender, I have never tried this so I though I would, I might not like it, I might do, each to there own love

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Can I suggest that you find out a bit more about whats involved, the responsibilities etc before you decide to go ahead.

Good luck in your search.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Master is a titled earned. Not something a guy suddenly decides he wants to try so therefore should be called.

Do your research, that doesn't mean watching porn by the way, and actually talk to people on the scene, or go to a local munch. I suspect very few women(if any) would be willing to submit to you based off this thread and your status.

Respect goes a long way in these types of dynamics.

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By *jwalls36 OP Man
over a year ago

near kirkham/poulton

Thankyou for the advice, its greatly appreciated x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Thankyou for the advice, its greatly appreciated x"

You're welcome. Read a couple of books (non fiction)

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By *jwalls36 OP Man
over a year ago

near kirkham/poulton

Okie dokie x

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By *r Normally KinkyMan
over a year ago

Somerset

This is just an amusing post.. what makes you believe you have that certain something, that makes a person want to submit to you, even funnier with the obey bit.

bit i will say you've been given some very sound advice.

Being Sir is a very difficult role to forfill. but get it right and the rewards are immense.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This is just an amusing post.. what makes you believe you have that certain something, that makes a person want to submit to you, even funnier with the obey bit.

bit i will say you've been given some very sound advice.

Being Sir is a very difficult role to forfill. but get it right and the rewards are immense. "

He's taken the advice graciously too.

It is a difficult role to fulfill but he's obviously willing to take advice.

Patronising people new to the scene is not gracious

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By *r Normally KinkyMan
over a year ago

Somerset

"This is just an amusing post.. what makes you believe you have that certain something, that makes a person want to submit to you, even funnier with the obey bit.

bit i will say you've been given some very sound advice.

Being Sir is a very difficult role to forfill. but get it right and the rewards are immense.

He's taken the advice graciously too.

It is a difficult role to fulfill but he's obviously willing to take advice.

Patronising people new to the scene is not gracious

Im sorry i wasnt patronising anyone. i just found the post amusing.

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

You have expected him to spit his dummy. But he kept his cool. Might be a Master in the making.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As said above iv found women profer to give you the title master and not somthing u can ask for am not the most experienced master not by a long shot but this that have decided to call me that have done so off there own backs and have helped teach me more about the role as a master.

I would recommend reading up on it or talking to others about it.

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By *jwalls36 OP Man
over a year ago

near kirkham/poulton

"As said above iv found women profer to give you the title master and not somthing u can ask for am not the most experienced master not by a long shot but this that have decided to call me that have done so off there own backs and have helped teach me more about the role as a master.

I would recommend reading up on it or talking to others about it. "

Cheers mate

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By *sianMancMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Looking to become someone's master and have them obey me!"

That's good hope you find it thanks for sharing. There are many slaves on here seeking a master so you will have some luck if you and they click.

No idea what most of those posting here deem it necessary to try to educate you or put you down. I don't see how they could have garnered that need from what you asked for and wanting to be a master to a mutual slave isn't in any way showing you be disrespectful.

Good luck

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By *jwalls36 OP Man
over a year ago

near kirkham/poulton

Cheers pal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

50 shades is not reality!

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"50 shades is not reality! "

Reality is only a figment if imagination, projection isn’t reality.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"50 shades is not reality!

Reality is only a figment if imagination, projection isn’t reality.

Of imagination.

That and fat fingers......

Would be better typing with my ...

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

"Looking to become someone's master and have them obey me!"

Ha ha ha ha haha ha ha

No fucking chance

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By *tace 309TV/TS
over a year ago

durham

Having been in the bdsm scene for over 30 years now I've come across this many many times. You can't just say hey I'm going to be a master. You need to learn the ropes and join the proper fetish bdsm scene. Reading about it is not enough alone in itself

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By *tace 309TV/TS
over a year ago

durham

"50 shades is not reality! "
50 shades is a fairytale and a joke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking to become someone's master and have them obey me!"

You need to read the Story of "O" written by Pauline Reage. Theres no pictures.... once you have read both books come back and let us know what you have learnt.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

[Removed by poster at 29/06/19 00:22:00]

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

I would suggest the Story of O is not in line with modern thinking on consent. However at least she was in love with him.

A good place to start would be "Screw the Roses, give me the thorns", or books by Jay Wiseman, or Tristan Taomino, or Lee Harrington.

Being a master in the modern sense is not merely commanding obedience but also being the slave's rock. If the sub is to give their all, they need to be properly emotionally supported by the master.

There old school types who think that is all guff.

Bdsm is a broad church and in the absence of abuse there is no true way. But there is a thin line between control and abuse in using old school style

Whereas the modern approach takes out any aspect of abuse, as it is firmly based on freely given, informed and specific consent and the sub is trated with empathy. Again I know this is not everyone's (subs and doms) favourite cup of rosie Lee. But it is becoming the most basic standard.

A comment that came out of a recent thread I started suggested that possibly people who are more experienced should go easy on people making a faux pas.

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By *jwalls36 OP Man
over a year ago

near kirkham/poulton

Thanks for the advice mate

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By *utsidenakedMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

[Removed by poster at 29/06/19 14:22:22]

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By *utsidenakedMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

You want a little bitch?? Just like that. I got a little bitch it's taken two years to reach this status

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would suggest the Story of O is not in line with modern thinking on consent. However at least she was in love with him.

A good place to start would be "Screw the Roses, give me the thorns", or books by Jay Wiseman, or Tristan Taomino, or Lee Harrington.

Being a master in the modern sense is not merely commanding obedience but also being the slave's rock. If the sub is to give their all, they need to be properly emotionally supported by the master.

There old school types who think that is all guff.

Bdsm is a broad church and in the absence of abuse there is no true way. But there is a thin line between control and abuse in using old school style

A comment that came out of a recent thread I started suggested that possibly people who are more experienced should go easy on people making a faux pas. "

It was a great read. Unlike 50shades. But i will put " Screw the Roses, give me the thorns", or books by Jay Wiseman, or Tristan Taomino, or Lee Harrington."

On my amazon prime to read list ta x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking to become someone's master and have them obey me!"

A master of what though? You must also have enough experience and practice to master an art of something first before calling yourself a master for example shibari, wax play, female orgasm, edging, etc. Otherwise you would probably be a Dominant?

Plus and I am sure I saw it posted already further up here, you must earn your slaves trust, submission, you are responsible for their wellbeing making sure they are safe, particularly in any kink play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"50 shades is not reality! 50 shades is a fairytale and a joke "

This. It gave people the total wrong idea about kink and bdsm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest you can or you can’t Dom.

No matter how many books you read.

In life you re either a kinky fucker alpha with a bit of a twisted sexual appetite for control or not.

Which I will state does not make you lesser person if you re not. It’s just not someone’s skill set.

Like I do not play football for England.

I am not lessened through that.

I think this post is cool.

I dropped into BDSM and kink by accident.

I have read about mind sets, how to please a woman and lots of things.

The pleasing a woman is the biggest thing.

How can you expect to be pleased, gain respect, unless you know ultimately how to please and be in that top ten percent of being able to do it.

I like to control and the submission.

Not pain. Pleasure subs.

The reward scheme for submission to me is a very good one.

That’s my style and it works great.

The first post of having a low view of women is totally wrong.

It is supply and demand.

You can ask to master someone with no experience.

Someone out there may like the idea of being your first.

Asking to Dom someone is not degrading as someone women freaking love it.

It’s a supply and demand thing.

But it just may not be that good to start.

Additionally you could be a natural and blow someone’s socks off.

I think the biggest thing to know with BDSM and kink is the sub is truly in charge.

You use safe words and they have boundaries.

You open the sub up like a blooming flower by being able to push the boundaries over time and for both to have a great positive experience when doing it.

Good luck mate.

Every journey starts with a single step ....

... unless you end up restraining someone and have a handful of their hair whilst they are bent over fucking them doggy style.

Have a good one.

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By *jwalls36 OP Man
over a year ago

near kirkham/poulton

Thankyou for the advice, its noted and appreciated x

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By *hunderstruckMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Daddy , Sir or Master all have different relationships with there other halves .

But the sub is usually the one who controls what you can and cannot do what boundaries are set etc.

You can’t be taught to be a Dom . You either are or you are not .

I’m sure you can copy thugs you have seen or read about

I read about it so it’s true

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

I accept as a given that people have different views in regard to BDSM and kink. If a view is to be considered right, provided the exclusions of no condoning either abuse and or consent violation, there is no problem. Apart from those sitations no-one's view is better than someone else's. Your kink is not my kink but I respect your right to do it it is the common mantra. So sensual kink is no better than sadistic kink, it is only individual choices.

So no matter how strongly someone states something about BDSM (subject to the above mentioned exclusions) it is only personal opinion. Of course it always helps if people explain the basis of

their opinion to enable it to be judged, as little about BDSM is self evident.

However there are two statements that give me concern.

The first is that sub is in control of the relationship or in charge because they can say what happens to their body.

I don't believe this for the basic principle that everybody whether dom or sub has the right to say what happens to their body, or to say what form their relationship takes.

Because a wife has control of her body does that mean she controls the relationship? The answer is of course not. A relationship is a matter of mutal interest. If the sub is in control they could demand the dom perform needleplay on them, even if the dom is not into it. Of course the dom won't do it. The D/S relationship is one of a meeting of minds and balancing of interests. Consent on both sides is revocable, so noone is truly in charge.

The second is the born dominant statement. This really means that the dom arrives perfectly formed in their domliness. It is merely a view.

as being a dom is just a title that describes a role in a relationship and everyone's relationsip is different. Life circumstances can make people's roles (dom and sub) change. Through reading people can understand what they can do to be a dom or a good dom for their particular relationship, or a different relationship. My own view and experence is that doms and subs can emerge through a variety of methods. Being born one,I suggest is just one way.

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By *hunderstruckMan
over a year ago

Northampton

"I accept as a given that people have different views in regard to BDSM and kink. If a view is to be considered right, provided the exclusions of no condoning either abuse and or consent violation, there is no problem. Apart from those sitations no-one's view is better than someone else's. Your kink is not my kink but I respect your right to do it it is the common mantra. So sensual kink is no better than sadistic kink, it is only individual choices.

So no matter how strongly someone states something about BDSM (subject to the above mentioned exclusions) it is only personal opinion. Of course it always helps if people explain the basis of

their opinion to enable it to be judged, as little about BDSM is self evident.

However there are two statements that give me concern.

The first is that sub is in control of the relationship or in charge because they can say what happens to their body.

I don't believe this for the basic principle that everybody whether dom or sub has the right to say what happens to their body, or to say what form their relationship takes.

The second is the born dominant statement. This really means that the dom arrives perfectly formed in their domliness. It is merely a view.

If they were in a S/M relationship they would be compatible, she the sub would know his limits and wouldn’t expect him to be that extreme.

Him the Dom would also know what the sub can handle .

Relationships are built over time and through trust between the two participants.

Which is why someone looking to be a “master” just because he’s seen a few films or read a few books will probably never find his sub.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

I would agree that is the ideal position. The reality as far from that.

I know of a number of respected caring doms, who have been outed as bullies and consent violators.

I know of new people starting who call themselves dom's and master who get subs. I accept few experienced subs would accept OP's invitation and probably none after speaking to him (no offense OP), but a newbie might. That is because firstly kink is awash with stereotypes, and secondly there is no accreditation body in BDSM, so people particularly newbies don't know what to expect. Which is why it's my position not to lay into people who make an obvious mistake that has not hurt anybody,but to politely point them in the modern view of BDSM. They are not my concern.

My concern is the psychopath who can talk suavely about consent and the skills of kink, who prey on newbies and the vulnerable. This why open, polite discussion on BDSM is needed.

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By *hunderstruckMan
over a year ago

Northampton

"I would agree that is the ideal position. The reality as far from that.

I know of a number of respected caring doms, who have been outed as bullies and consent violators.

My concern is the psychopath who can talk suavely about consent and the skills of kink, who prey on newbies and the vulnerable. This why open, polite discussion on BDSM is needed.

Probably better of on a fetish site that has verified Dom’s if it’s something you crave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably not the best site to explore this as there is an assumption by many that people wanting this just see it as an easy shag by people who really don't understand what both parties seek.

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By *entlemanDevilMan
over a year ago

London and Wales

You don't need to get involved in the "proper fetish scene" at all. Take your time, do some some research. Read some non fiction re the Dom/sub dynamics and the variations of it. Figure out what could possibly work for you and then update your profile and be honest about what you want. But don't be demanding obedience. That is earned and it's given freely.

Good luck!

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

"I would agree that is the ideal position. The reality as far from that.

I know of a number of respected caring doms, who have been outed as bullies and consent violators.

My concern is the psychopath who can talk suavely about consent and the skills of kink, who prey on newbies and the vulnerable. This why open, polite discussion on BDSM is needed.

Probably better of on a fetish site that has verified Dom’s if it’s something you crave "

I am content as a dom and comfortable with the skills and the vibe I bring to any relationship or play. Given my inclinations run from sadistic to sensual I play as safely as possible, not everyone else does.

I have been on FL four years now and my own view is that there as many predators and incompetents on FL as there are on here. FL has no verification process apart from peer recognition which is not exact. I have sub friends who have had bad experiences there.

I suspect percentage wise there are as many skilled and experienced people on this site as there are on FL. This is why it would be good to tap that experience and knowledge in a positive and understanding way to help newbie doms and subs. As someone said in another bdsm thread "experienced" people can be condescending or cutting in threads which puts people off asking questions about bdsm on Fab. I am all for changing the negativity.

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

you cant just start doing domination. You have to know what you are doing .

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