FabSwingers.com forum: Thinking about packing in fab

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Before I quit altogether, can anyone point out why I am only getting profile views from gay men when my profile is of a straight guy. I’ve tried approaching ladies via their profiles and keep having my messages deleted. I’m don’t think I’m that off putting!

All my messages are polite, spelt correctly (using the queens english!) And respectful. I’m starting to wonder who is having any luck on here and how I might go about starting chats with people?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most women view in stealth mode, most men don't. You'll never know who is looking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile is not very appealing, does not stand out from thousands of other male profiles.

There are links on my profile to some great advice

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

You're trying to be everyone's type. Nobody is the perfect balance because that balance changes from person to person.

Honestly looking at your pics you seem to be my type body wise but your profile is basically you trying to tell people what they want to hear.

Just be you and understand that it won't be for everyone.

I'm a small, skinny alt girl but I totally understand that some people prefer curvy girls, tall girls and some people get freaked out by the piercings. That's just fab.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Maybe women are put off by the bareback pic ?

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By *usie4uTV/TS
over a year ago

Havant

"Maybe women are put off by the bareback pic ?"

I would agree wholeheartedly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most women view in stealth mode, most men don't. You'll never know who is looking.

I view in stealth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile isnt by far the worst I've read, keep at it. It will happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/06/19 23:32:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile is a bit bland, you don't seem to be selling yourself very well. All I can take from your profile is your hairy, you wash and seem to want to be everyone's cup of tea.

Also a handy tip click on reply in forum and not message a stranger. Ooops my bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hide your cock pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Before I quit altogether, can anyone point out why I am only getting profile views from gay men when my profile is of a straight guy. I’ve tried approaching ladies via their profiles and keep having my messages deleted. I’m don’t think I’m that off putting!

All my messages are polite, spelt correctly (using the queens english!) And respectful. I’m starting to wonder who is having any luck on here and how I might go about starting chats with people?"

Finding exactly the same , no 1 visiting my profile so it doesn't matter what I put in it . Have rewritten 3 times following advice , for people to advise I change it to something like I had before! Apart from a few genuine chats that I wasn't what they were looking for , most of mine have been time wasters..lining up back up meets incase theirs doesn't show I think, as I've arranged 3 with couples and every one they have vanished 2 hours before. I think it's a lottery for us single guys as there are too many of us. I'm now branded a time waster as I don't have any veri's , it's not for want of trying lol .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe women are put off by the bareback pic ?

I would agree wholeheartedly

They could only see that if they looked at his profile , he said no 1 was looking .

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

If you are giving up, I wouldn't worry about it OP. Good luck to you though. X

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

"Maybe women are put off by the bareback pic ?

I would agree wholeheartedly

Was going to say the same myself.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

All my messages are polite, spelt correctly (using the queens english!) And respectful. I’m starting to wonder who is having any luck on here and how I might go about starting chats with people?

Like its been said above, most of us women view in stealth mode so you will be clueless as to how many views you have had. I would also move all your cock pics into a private album .

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By *wholeLotOfRosieWoman
over a year ago

Pontypridd

Your profile is rather bland.

Women often view in stealth mode. I always do.

You have ticked safe sex as an interest but have a bareback pic. Which is true? having both makes you look dishonest. If you try the ‘she was my girlfriend’ line you’ll be questioned on whether she has agreed for her pic to be shared.

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By *arbellsWoman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Maybe women are put off by the bareback pic ?"

100000% I'd delete straight away with the bareback picture and the interest of 'safe sex'

I also view profiles in stealth as you get a barrage of messages from looking at profiles.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Awesome. Thanks for all the tips, you lot all seem friendly so maybe I’ll stick with it for a bit! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Awesome. Thanks for all the tips, you lot all seem friendly so maybe I’ll stick with it for a bit! X"

Did you know folding your arms like you are on your profile pic will be seen by some as a subliminal barrier...

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By *ediMan
over a year ago

Leeds

If its any consulation ive not had any meets from FAB just use it to keep updated and in touch with friends ive made at events amd clubs, where ive had more success, get yourself out there try some socials,

You want regret it

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By *ustagentMan
over a year ago

wa14

I have same problem ,I am too old, I go to ,it seem a lot want black guys (bbc) I watch them sit down and within minutes they get approached. by a couple/girl, like it or not its a fact may not sound good but it is the way it is so I have given up I just use site for chat with friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/06/19 05:38:29]

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By *zzy69Woman
over a year ago

The Lake District

"If its any consulation ive not had any meets from FAB just use it to keep updated and in touch with friends ive made at events amd clubs, where ive had more success, get yourself out there try some socials,

You want regret it

Totally agree with this

I also view in stealth mode

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

So do I

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Nice profile though wish I was closer

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"Most women view in stealth mode, most men don't. You'll never know who is looking.

Yes I was going to say this and the reason we do is because as soon as it shows we have looked that person will message (along with the other 200)

I do feel for men on here , it’s not easy but take it as a compliment men check you out.

Sometimes it’s not even sexual it’s just to see what the competition is or whether you take better pics

When it comes to messages honestly for most girls it’s keep it friendly , polite and make sure you have a few face pics

Good luck

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"Maybe women are put off by the bareback pic ?

I would agree wholeheartedly

They could only see that if they looked at his profile , he said no 1 was looking . "
most women look in stealth mode, he could have a hundred women look and he would never know

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By *ustfun009Man
over a year ago

oxford

Hey op.i am in same boat

Any advise on my profile would be appreciated good of bad

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Hey op.i am in same boat

Any advise on my profile would be appreciated good of bad

Here's something a lady posted... https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/879358

And another useful one from a single male...

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/8538.

You'd do well to read these, there's also advice on my profile for newbies and people who aren't getting meets should you wish to use it.

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By *unniebee1970Woman
over a year ago

The Hive

I view in stealth. I liked yr profile but got put off with the reference to bareback pics which have now disappeared.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Before I quit altogether, can anyone point out why I am only getting profile views from gay men when my profile is of a straight guy."

That's easy. Your a hunky bearded beefcake bear in the making! What gay man wouldn't want to convert you....

You should be flattered that guys find you attractive.

Infact you should really feed of that because you must be doing something right.

All you need is to tweak the profile in the direction of ladies... but take the compliments..

Mistress Amelia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Re vamp you ptofile

Stay positive

Go on socials and get noticed.

Inbox me if you like and i will give you a few tips, I had the great privilage of getting awdome feedback from many play mates

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Why haven't you blocked single men?

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Only your age and distance puts me off

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Ok photos but nothing grabbed me in the text.

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

Mate all my messages to men/Women get deleted.

It's the digital era where all are looking for the "the better offer". Suck it up like the rest of us do

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By *ntraditionalwomanWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

Have to agree and are all your friends picks of cock by any chance. We don't need to see 50 different views of cock lol

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

My pet hate is people threatening to leave whether it be fab or Facebook in the hope people try to persuade them go stay.

If you're staying just say you made a mistake and stay or if you're leaving go quietly without a fuss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is very much one of those things where what you get out is what you put in.

You can have the best profile imaginable but you will still be one of many guys and few women.

This is still a world where men do the courting so my suggestion is.

1) Have a look at the profiles of men who have a lot of verifications. See what their profile has that yours doesn't.

2) Read the threads on fab which offer advice to single men.

3) If you can get out to clubs and socials.

Also guys can't see your sexual orientation until they have looked at your profile. So don't worry about it. Despite being bi I have single men filtered out so I don't come up on their searches.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

OP see this thread https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/891051#message_19956685

It could be something as simple as that

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By *ntraditionalwomanWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"My pet hate is people threatening to leave whether it be fab or Facebook in the hope people try to persuade them go stay.

If you're staying just say you made a mistake and stay or if you're leaving go quietly without a fuss."

I was thinking the same myself. Jog on or off lol. Read 3 different feeds with men saying they are gonna leave. Looking for drama. Dont expect that from men

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By *ickeyandmouseCouple
over a year ago

nr Alicante

"My pet hate is people threatening to leave whether it be fab or Facebook in the hope people try to persuade them go stay.

If you're staying just say you made a mistake and stay or if you're leaving go quietly without a fuss.

I was thinking the same myself. Jog on or off lol. Read 3 different feeds with men saying they are gonna leave. Looking for drama. Dont expect that from men"

Totally agree. If you are gone leave,leave ,don’t f****g announce it

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By *izmo99Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

I’m gettting the same mate just keep on trying I think perseverance is the key here if anyone has any tips I’d all ears though

One

Course

Until

Success

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By *ntraditionalwomanWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"My pet hate is people threatening to leave whether it be fab or Facebook in the hope people try to persuade them go stay.

If you're staying just say you made a mistake and stay or if you're leaving go quietly without a fuss.

I was thinking the same myself. Jog on or off lol. Read 3 different feeds with men saying they are gonna leave. Looking for drama. Dont expect that from men

Totally agree. If you are gone leave,leave ,don’t f****g announce it"

Yeah no one gives a shite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly what is going on with his site. OP has generally just put his point across m, if you dont like it then why reply? Like being back in primary school. Someone cant make a comment before a whole losd of people want to jump down his throat. I seriously question what has happened in 10 years

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By *ntraditionalwomanWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"Honestly what is going on with his site. OP has generally just put his point across m, if you dont like it then why reply? Like being back in primary school. Someone cant make a comment before a whole losd of people want to jump down his throat. I seriously question what has happened in 10 years

Leave or not leave. no need to dramatize it all over fab. Its not attractive. Ask for advise by all means but no need for the extra drama

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My pet hate is people threatening to leave whether it be fab or Facebook in the hope people try to persuade them go stay.

If you're staying just say you made a mistake and stay or if you're leaving go quietly without a fuss.

I was thinking the same myself. Jog on or off lol. Read 3 different feeds with men saying they are gonna leave. Looking for drama. Dont expect that from men"

Why do people feel they have to tell someone how to post by or not post on fab, yet all become defensive and call other judgemental when some makes a remark about them.

So many on here are two faced, not a nice trait.

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By *ntraditionalwomanWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

Happy to discuse how nice or not nice you may think anything ive said privately. No drama that way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fabbed the pic that should be your profile pic.. your have eyes that could melt hearts or wet up some bedsheets. It's the best pic on your profile. The current one is closed body language which sends subconscious signals that your unapproachable where ass the one of you laying in bed is much more easy on the eyes.

Profile text does state your trying to be everyone's cub of tea.. what makes you unique, I have s funny feeling your a nice guy who a lot of women would like if they only knew your quirky side.. you like to surf I'm guessing, use it. You say you have a sense of humour... Show it by making your profile hilarious. Make us smile or laugh and your half way there.

Good luck

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester

"My pet hate is people threatening to leave whether it be fab or Facebook in the hope people try to persuade them go stay.

If you're staying just say you made a mistake and stay or if you're leaving go quietly without a fuss."
l

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I fabbed the pic that should be your profile pic.. your have eyes that could melt hearts or wet up some bedsheets. It's the best pic on your profile. The current one is closed body language which sends subconscious signals that your unapproachable where ass the one of you laying in bed is much more easy on the eyes.

Good luck "

Yup, I fabbed that one too, its a lovely pic.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all your comments guys and gals. That’s what forums are for, intelligent people sharing opinions. Thanks for those backing me up and being positive. For those referencing the “drama” thanks for your opinions too, it’s always nice to remind myself of how close minded people can be! For any confusion, I was just venting my frustration and have made changes to my profile in accordance with those opinions that I consider valid. X

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Thanks for all your comments guys and gals. That’s what forums are for, intelligent people sharing opinions. Thanks for those backing me up and being positive. For those referencing the “drama” thanks for your opinions too, it’s always nice to remind myself of how close minded people can be! For any confusion, I was just venting my frustration and have made changes to my profile in accordance with those opinions that I consider valid. X "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hang in there. It's a learning process and you have got ahead of the curve by getting help on the forums. Fab can be an amazing place to meet some fantastic people. I wish you the best of luck

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

But you still haven't blocked single men from messaging you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I was at that stage a few months ago, getting constantly viewed by gay men (I mean each to there own just not for me) Hardly viewed or messaged at all by women (yes that's violins you can hear playing ) ..I was taking it too seriously and expecting to much

Sit back and chill and don't expect to much ,after all it's meant to be fun.

I mean I'm up to 2 views a day. Lol

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By *uma69Man
over a year ago

stockport

Stealth mode thats just sly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's a view without a wink? It's just a view. You're no closer to a message than you were without a view.

Number of views say nothing about your profile because the former precedes the latter.

Many people use ninja mode because some people think just because you look at them it's as good as a wink. Fair enough.

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By *uma69Man
over a year ago

stockport

[Removed by poster at 09/06/19 10:00:50]

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By *uma69Man
over a year ago

stockport

"What's a view without a wink? It's just a view. You're no closer to a message than you were without a view.

Number of views say nothing about your profile because the former precedes the latter.

Many people use ninja mode because some people think just because you look at them it's as good as a wink. Fair enough. "

Not really if you look at someone and don't wink surely that means you are not interested in them end off really

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By *ntraditionalwomanWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

Bet your dirty laundry is all over Facebook too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bet your dirty laundry is all over Facebook too "

And yet you make public your opinions whilst telling others to keep theirs quiet!! The guy asked for some help, if you're not going to offer any shut the f**k up and keep your opinions to yourself .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's better and keep positive vibes xoxo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really you get out what you put in!

Given your write up tells people to become your friend and see your face and you have a face pic to public anyhow to me you don't even know what's on your profile!

Also it's about what you are trying to be, just be yourself but people want to know what you offer them.

You live in London area, a few clubs available to you so no excuse not to meet people,I accept not for everyone but why complain of disheartment when you can do something about it but don't.

It's nothing new or personal at all but as usual men expect results for no effort.

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

We don't get many offers either. Lots of views but no one seems interested. We mainly just use our page to keep in touch with people we meet at clubs and parties!

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By *ntraditionalwomanWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

Bet your dirty laundry is all over Facebook too

And yet you make public your opinions whilst telling others to keep theirs quiet!! The guy asked for some help, if you're not going to offer any shut the f**k up and keep your opinions to yourself . "

No its not asking for advice the forum is entitled " thinking of packing in fab" which i read by others hundreds of time. Yes it can be hard work but there no need for the attention. Maybe the thread should of been called something else. Like i said im happy to discuss this privately. You have judge me and even resulted in telling me to f off. Lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get going to clubs and socials and get chatting to people. Women like to know they're going to be safe when meeting people online, and there is a massive pool of men to choose on fab. If you get some verifications saying you're a good guy etc then people are more inclined to want to start chatting. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bet your dirty laundry is all over Facebook too

And yet you make public your opinions whilst telling others to keep theirs quiet!! The guy asked for some help, if you're not going to offer any shut the f**k up and keep your opinions to yourself .

I didn't tell you to f off , I said shut the f up! And yet you're still going?! Proving you didn't read mine properly as you didn't with the op, instead going on and on about the tittle not the content.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But you still haven't blocked single men from messaging you..."

Fab straight I guess.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"But you still haven't blocked single men from messaging you...

Fab straight I guess. "

He doesn't have to block men if he doesn't want to....implying he is a closet gay because of it is OTT...we don't block anyone, gay/ bi or straight, there is nothing sinister about it

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Can people remember that others are allowed to give their opinion but also remember others may call you out on it if it isn't very friendly

Also keep it civil on the forum please and within forum rules

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s hard for us aswell. Get lots of views and winks every now and then but hardly ever get a message from couples.

Luckily we see this as just an extra bit of fun so don’t lose any sleep over it.

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

Your profile suggests that you're desperate, in my opinion. You say "you're trying to be the right mix". Don't say that! Most women love confidence and are put off by people trying too hard.

"If that sounds up your street"? A guy who is trying to be the right mix?!? That's not going to be up any woman's street. Get rid of that!

Add me as a friend to get AAA pass to my face pics? Women know the ratios so don't say that either.

"If I message you, it means sex talk" or whatever. Don't say that either! Women don't like sex talk with guys who they don't know.

Your profile is very bad in my opinion, although two of your pics are good.

About gay guys, it happens. Unfortunately, you need to block men if you don't want weird messages from them.

You have to be spot on if you want a reply from a woman. Your profile has to be good, the pics have to be good, the message has to be good too.

It's not as hard as it looks. Get rid of anything which sounds desperate, be confident, get a fem friend to check your pics for you. Your messages need to stand out. You need to hook the woman.

My advice to you is; 1, get some female friends and ask them about weird men, etc. 2, look into marketing for women and/or women's psychology. 3, DO NOT talk sexually to women on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Made you look

I know I know...

"Get going to clubs and socials and get chatting to people. Women like to know they're going to be safe when meeting people online, and there is a massive pool of men to choose on fab. If you get some verifications saying you're a good guy etc then people are more inclined to want to start chatting. Good luck

Well said ^

OP there is always a way. It's about finding your path/journey on here and the good times will keep coming

Try not to quit for good. Take a break if needed and come back if possible. Fab is an amazing platform to get what people join for...

All the best!

#FabFan

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By *haverMan
over a year ago

bracknell

Times on fab can be trying

But theres no point in crying rarely do i get a look

But ive learnt not to give a F**K

When i have a lonely day

My face lights up when visited by a gay

And when im in a state of decorum

Well that when i visit the forum

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

The Wild Wetness

Supply and demand.

Simple really.

Many years ago I crunched the numbers and anyone looking to meet single ladies. (that includes couples).

The odds are not great.

People say yes but.....

These people have clearly not crunched the numbers and they look at the few men who are really successful and think but their success should apply to me.

But everyone thinks they are the exception. We all live in hope, its what keeps us going.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one knows your sexuality untill they physically open your profile.

If they are not in stealth mode,they show as having viewed your profile.

There are s much greater number of males than females,this more views from males

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

profile has had enough comments i could repeat but wont, one thing to add, loose the arms crossed picture, it says " defensive and maybe confrontational"

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