FabSwingers.com forum: Not sure whether to stay on here

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Getting no luck on here currently. However I think this site is bringing out the worst in me. The rejections are affecting my confidence, psychologically reinforcing negative feelings about myself and I know there's a lot of men here compared to the number of women. However worst thing is I spend far too long on the site sometimes hours and have messaged some people multiple times (I guess this is disliked however my thought process is if you are female and getting hundreds of messages then if I only message once there's limited chance they'll see it. Sometimes I can imagine there's too many to go through and messaging every couple of days increases my chances but probably actually decreases them sometimes. I also sometimes am not sure when someone reads the message and doesn't reply it frustrates me especially if they read it and then view my profile and are online a lot but don't reply.

I get rejections mostly.. a couple of people have blocked me and some people just read or delete my messages. Don't think this is going to work out for me. However not sure whether to keep trying or not. Another problem is people want verified profiles so its back to the job scenario where experience is needed but you struggle to get experience as experience is needed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave before it brings you right down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know man, I wouldn't message anyone more than once, that could count as harassment. Just luck of the draw if you get read out of the hundreds of messages. Try clubs for the veris

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

ok Op if it's taking over your life that much take a break maybe try a club or even go on cam someone will verify you and have a bit of patience you have only been on here for 2 weeks in the fab world that is very little amount of time

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

When the fun stops, stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's affecting you so much, take a break or leave.

But if you do want to stay, remember that you are just a drop in the sea (or ocean) of single men on this site. How to make yourself stand out? It takes a lot of effort, as well as not taking this site too seriously and adjusting your expectations.

There are some links to great advice on my profile, have a read.

And good luck, whatever you decide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont take any notice. Just make your profile good and your pics good and you will get a meet

Failing that go to a club

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

You've only been here 2 weeks. If that's how you feel this early on then maybe this isnt for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hopefully I can improve my use of the site and not spend so long on here. How is sending a few messages harassment if they weren't seen or read? Its just a way of trying to let the message be seen is how I intend it not harassment. I'm interested to try a club actually but not sure what it would be like as I would have to travel on public transport and stay over night.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

"Hopefully I can improve my use of the site and not spend so long on here. How is sending a few messages harassment if they weren't seen or read? Its just a way of trying to let the message be seen is how I intend it not harassment. I'm interested to try a club actually but not sure what it would be like as I would have to travel on public transport and stay over night."

If they dont reply after the first mesaage they are not interested. Just get over it and move on.

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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

If they dont reply after the first mesaage they are not interested. Just get over it and move on. "

not always the case but he does need thicker skin to ne on here...

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

This scene is not for the insecure.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

If they dont reply after the first mesaage they are not interested. Just get over it and move on.

not always the case but he does need thicker skin to ne on here... "

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

" How is sending a few messages harassment if they weren't seen or read? Its just a way of trying to let the message be seen is how I intend it not harassment. "

Delete your sent messages after you send them, you'll then not torture yourself over whose read or deleted your messages.

Try not to take things personally and as others have said try visiting clubs which is an easier way to get verified and improve your swinging credibility!

Good luck!

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By *stwoCouple
over a year ago

anywhere

Bye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bye"

Sums it up perfectly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 weeks only on fab... wow so impatient. Go to pub save your soul and your time.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

What were you expecting OP?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly? If you're like that after 2 weeks maybe you should try looking elsewhere. The repeat messages really aren't a good idea, some people mark messages as unread after reading them. A club might work for you though but only you know what's best for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reference to getting tested every time you meet someone.. do you mean people outside fab? As in they would wait for your results to come back before you have sex with them? Do you wait for them to be tested before you meet them also? If that is working for you then perhaps you should carry on and forget fab. Otherwise patience is a virtue as they say ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're feeling like this after 2 weeks?! I've been on here over 2 years without a meet, by your expectations I'd be killing people by now. I've given up on meeting people on here and just enjoy the forums and the pretty pictures. In all seriousness if you're like this after 2 weeks you should close your account and go back to what you were doing before Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you message a lady and get no replay ,Block her take the power back it will make you feel better ,most are on here to fantasies and chat and exhibit them self’s ,which is cool just except it enjoy it ,and maybe join a dating site ..good luck pal

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By *layfulcoupleCouple
over a year ago

a kinky mood

It took us 3 months to get our first meet so 2 weeks is nothing. You make fab what it is. No one else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it’s affecting your mental health and bringing you down mate then best to just to put it away and leave it.

I haven't been on here before but I am/have been on cottaging, dogging and fabguys and as everyone is saying 2 weeks isn’t very long. I’ve had many fun meets off these sites but once again they’ve come after people have got to know me on there.

Think of what you want. If you expect a meet every week or every two weeks then you have to accept that’s not the case for the majority of people.

As someone else said in the thread, when the fun stops, stop. Don’t let it bring you down and preserve your mental health

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By *aveandSue1Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster

"This scene is not for the insecure. "

Very very true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bye"

Dont let the door hit you on the way out!!!

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By *imandher84Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Ok I'm coming in harsh but fair here.

You should not be on here, if only for your own mental health and wellbeing.

You clearly struggle with the rejection and the ruthless nature of fab. That will not change and nor should you!

It's ok to be a sensitive soul that isn't wrong or weak, but pick what you get involved in better before it turns you hard and bitter.

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By *uxomBloomsWoman
over a year ago

Near Tunbridge Wells

I've reached the point before where I've been obsessed with Fab and it's done no good at all to my mental health. When that happens I hide my profile and withdraw for a few weeks till I can get some balance.

After only 2 weeks it does sound like Fav might not be a good fit for you. As others have said, it should be fun so if it's not, don't do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if it's affecting your self-esteem and wellbeing after 2 weeks you aren't going to enjoy the fab experience. All the things you've cited are just part and parcel of being on here, it's a pretty cut throat place. If I was you I'd probably try to meet people at the pub, it's not worth feeling bad about yourself over x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes you're probably right maybe not the best place for my mental health. I get some potential meet messages but usually they get cancelled as difficulty with distance or travel cost. Various other reasons. Just gets my hope up and it's not healthy being on so many hours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" "
always love the keyboard warrior who messages. Then blocks!!!! Taking back the power.. oh yes...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your thinking that way.. then go

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Not read other peoples input but as a male you benefit from understanding how fab will be, so you can take an informed decision. It is tough for men here, especially when new and without verifications or friends. You need resiliency and strong self esteem - as well as to know when to stand back.

Messaging is simple - you only do it once, if not replied to. You damage your chances if you don't respect this, which is clear from the site rules. You may have a chance but working through messages can take some of us a long time - typically slower than anyone wants.

Contact many people and forget about checking or following up - let it go.

Your wellbeing is important, so determine how you could be here and retain it. Only you can know yourself enough to decide what is right for you

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By *ireupthequattroCouple
over a year ago

Stratford

If you don’t like it go somewhere else , stop moaning , try the Samaritans

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