FabSwingers.com forum: Shy friend

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi I have a “friend” she’s in her early forties, four kids and says she’s lost her sex drive while we where out drinking over Easter! Know I’ve known her along time and though I’m a guy I couldn’t sleep with her as it would spoil a great friendship. I’d love ideas that I could suggest to her to improve her situation. She’s very shy as-well so not sure she have confidence for this site straight away

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Hi I have a “friend” she’s in her early forties, four kids and says she’s lost her sex drive while we where out drinking over Easter! Know I’ve known her along time and though I’m a guy I couldn’t sleep with her as it would spoil a great friendship. I’d love ideas that I could suggest to her to improve her situation. She’s very shy as-well so not sure she have confidence for this site straight away"

If she's lost her sex drive having sex with someone or joining a swinging site won't restore it.

Without knowing the lady in question all I would suggest is that she makes some time for herself and goes with the flow. Libido often goes in cycles. Has she asked you to find out ways to help?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd not determine her end point/resolution for her, as she may need other things and often self-discovery is the powerful way that we change direction in life. There are 2 things - her libido loss and then there's her potentially having a different style of sex life.

She needs to find resolution to the former, in order to be in the right place for the latter, if she wanted to. Her confidence/shyness may be overcome, once she is more certain about what she needs and wants, otherwise there are other ways for someone to develop these, that don't need to relate to sex. She may benefit from a more active social life, or by doing other things, that help to open up her life. And her lack of libido may be a confidence limiter too.

You can introduce her to the concept of Fab and swinging at any point. I suggest seeing if you can help guide her on what may be physical or psychological aspects of her libido issues and also how she might improve the quality of her life too.

You're sensitive and realise that pressure isn't a good thing to help overcome shyness, so things have to be at her pace and right for her.

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

An option would be to join fab but hide her profile straight away so she doesn’t get messages.

She could read the forums as a way of discovering fab discreetly, join in when she wants and then gradually she may start meeting people socially for instance a small social gathering in a pub or something similar.

I can relate to her feelings as I felt that myself and somehow ended up on fab but now my profile is hidden and I wish I had done that at the beginning so I could ease myself in gently.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

She was very sexual, but know feels abit lost, I’ve suggested going to doc as could be a hormone imbalance or possible seek psychological help

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"She was very sexual, but know feels abit lost, I’ve suggested going to doc as could be a hormone imbalance or possible seek psychological help"

It's quite normal to experience lulls on sex drive now and again. Trying to cure it when it might just be circumstances or a natural change in her rythmn seems a bit excessive to me. What are her circumstances, is she single, has she been ill or under a lot of stress, has she recently been prescribed new or altered medication? All theses things need taking into account before you march her off to the doctors

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m not matching her anywhere, she is very down about things a mentioned it the other day when we where out, known her for ever so tell each other most things. I just wanted other people’s points of view

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I’m not matching her anywhere, she is very down about things a mentioned it the other day when we where out, known her for ever so tell each other most things. I just wanted other people’s points of view "

OK but there's no one answer to this and (quite rightly) you're not giving too much information about your friend. If any of the things I asked apply to her, fix that before taking medical advice would be the course of action I would take

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks, u really seem to be able to connect with her situation

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