FabSwingers.com forum: Hard times for solo guys

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’ve been on here for about a year and a half with very little success. Messages read and deleted. Messages not read and deleted. Messages read without looking at my profile and deleted. It seems like a minefield on here.

I then decided to check out the “competition” in my area. And I must say, it’s unbelievable how many single guys are on here.

I can understand why couples and females don’t bother responding or looking at profiles. But how do you stand out from the crowd?

Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Change your name to Dick Rodwell, then sit back and watch the offers from hot women flood in!

Hope this helps X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go with the flow, have it as an add on to life.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow? "

Go with the flow. I’ve had meets from women contacting me after reading my profile, meets from contacting women after reading their profiles, and meets (indirectly) because of a social event. And I’m hardly a catch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If actually meeting in the flesh is your goal then you have to ask yourself if it’s worth the effort.

The only reason I haven’t deleted my profile is that reading and commenting on the odd forum post keeps me mildly amused while I sip my tea in bed in the morning or while walking the dog.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

Don't see Fabs as anything more than unexpected bonuses, and have the main part of your sex life elsewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The forum is a good start. Clubs are apparently also good. Cake is optional

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't know that someone hasn't looked at your profile. They might be in privacy mode.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to a club, make yourself stand out. Be confident. You will find a lot of the males who have success on this site has a lot of success with it it to.

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

"The forum is a good start. Clubs are apparently also good. Cake is optional"

Not with many on here is it optional!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go with the flow, have it as an add on to life."

Only dead fish go with the flow.

If you want it enough you have to go out and grab it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve been on here for about a year and a half with very little success. Messages read and deleted. Messages not read and deleted. Messages read without looking at my profile and deleted. It seems like a minefield on here.

I then decided to check out the “competition” in my area. And I must say, it’s unbelievable how many single guys are on here.

I can understand why couples and females don’t bother responding or looking at profiles. But how do you stand out from the crowd?

Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow? "

I stopped bothering OP - manners cost nothing and they rarely get used on here..

I now just browse the forums but even that novelty is starting to wear off...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go to a club, make yourself stand out. Be confident. You will find a lot of the males who have success on this site has a lot of success with it it to.

Agree with this. Best way to stand out in a club is a propeller cap, fake nose, tache and glasses and a foghorn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go with the flow, have it as an add on to life.

Only dead fish go with the flow.

If you want it enough you have to go out and grab it"

Has to be something tangible to grab though, or you end up with a handful of dead fish.

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By *appyhumper123Man
over a year ago

hull

"If actually meeting in the flesh is your goal then you have to ask yourself if it’s worth the effort.

The only reason I haven’t deleted my profile is that reading and commenting on the odd forum post keeps me mildly amused while I sip my tea in bed in the morning or while walking the dog. "

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

"Go to a club, make yourself stand out. Be confident. You will find a lot of the males who have success on this site has a lot of success with it it to.

Agree with this. Best way to stand out in a club is a propeller cap, fake nose, tache and glasses and a foghorn. "

Fuck Yeah!!

Clown shoes and a polka dot bow tie worked for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I then decided to check out the “competition” in my area. And I must say, it’s unbelievable how many single guys are on here.

I can understand why couples and females don’t bother responding or looking at profiles. But how do you stand out from the crowd?

Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow?

I stopped bothering OP - manners cost nothing and they rarely get used on here..

I now just browse the forums but even that novelty is starting to wear off...

What do you mean when you say manners rarely get used on here ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I then decided to check out the “competition” in my area. And I must say, it’s unbelievable how many single guys are on here.

I can understand why couples and females don’t bother responding or looking at profiles. But how do you stand out from the crowd?

Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow?

I stopped bothering OP - manners cost nothing and they rarely get used on here..

I now just browse the forums but even that novelty is starting to wear off...

Same for me . Generally log on for just a few minutes here and there and then it’s a case of ‘move along sir , nothing to see here ‘

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By *n it 86Man
over a year ago

stevenage

"Change your name to Dick Rodwell, then sit back and watch the offers from hot women flood in!

Hope this helps X"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go to a club, make yourself stand out. Be confident. You will find a lot of the males who have success on this site has a lot of success with it it to.

Agree with this. Best way to stand out in a club is a propeller cap, fake nose, tache and glasses and a foghorn.

Fuck Yeah!!

Clown shoes and a polka dot bow tie worked for me

Hey, each to there own!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The forum is a good start. Clubs are apparently also good. Cake is optional

Not with many on here is it optional!"

Oh yeah make sure you've considered their rider demands

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By *raditionalManMan
over a year ago

Walkden. Manchester

I thinks some people forget this is a Swingers Website and not a place for single people just to fuck. Don’t get me wrong, it happens but this is a SWINGERS website. Other options and apps available for that. That said, I’ve been one of the lucky ones and met some great people, and through doing that have networked and met others and been invited by other people places. I’ve also made about 4-5 really good friends through here. Use the site for its intended use, Swinging. Have some pics of yourself, not always appropriate I know as some people are private or have jobs which might not approve of this type of active. Pics certainly help deter those you’ll spend a week chatting too then swop pics for there to be nothing there physically between you, let’s be honest. Then at least saves the wasting of each other’s time until that moment becuase they’ll be no need to message. Be honest too, avoid the cut and paste crowd! I’ve had a couples profile, stands out a mile lol! In summary have fun and don’t pester, getting out to a club and chatting is great the social aspect of Swinging is great, I’ve gone to clubs and had a damn good time and not even played, before I knew it the big lights are turned on and it’s hometime ha! Keep an eye out for social meetings, some organise them regular as a means of meeting up in a social environment. It’s not my thing but might help anyone on their Swinging journey! Most importantly have fun and have no expectations! Patience pays off mate I promise!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Only you can decide if the site is working for you or not OP but the best thing you can do as a single guy on here is set your expectations to zero, write the best possible profile you can that's enticing and reflects your personality, back it up with a decent set of pics, get along to clubs and socials and get involved in the forums as a way of getting to know people and getting yourself known.

None of that will guarantee a thing as ultimately it comes down to coming across as having the right attitude and expectations and finding people you "click" with but do all of the above and you'll certainly do yourself no harm and might even be pleasantly surprised.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

I then decided to check out the “competition” in my area. And I must say, it’s unbelievable how many single guys are on here.

I can understand why couples and females don’t bother responding or looking at profiles. But how do you stand out from the crowd?

Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow? "

No, improve your damn profile! It’s your stall, your shopfront, what you put in it says something about you. If it doesn’t look enticing the ladies are going to keep walking and shop

elsewhere. And there are thousands of young, handsome, buff, big cock studs out there.

FFS 99% of women on Fab when asked DO NOT want to see your dick in your profile pictures (send it by PM when asked). The shitty steamed-up picture of your ass - I mean, you’ve just let everyone know you don’t care... you’ve decided to put it up.... like you’re saying it’s a crap pic but I’m not going to try any harder. You’ve just left a turd in your shop window. You’ve got an okay body - take some tantalising B&W shots, classy, cropped and good backgrounds. There are some beautiful pics out there to inspire.

Improve your profile text... “I like to see women’s faces in ecstasy”? Yawn. We all do mate, I literally orgasm from seeing it happen.

There are literally thousands of inspirational profiles on here to inspire you - clever, witty, sensual, funny. Put yourself in your profile readers head when you write it. Would you do you?

The next thing to do is to get to socials or club nights to get a couple of veris to reassure your potential meets that you’re a good bet, not hideous, have an acceptable level of social skill and and might be an okay shag. There’s so much advice around the forums you cannot go wrong creating a decent profile that will make ladies pause and maybe message you or respond to your messages

Don’t join the ranks of the whiners who post on the forums, have a profile makeover, rebrand, tweek and improve.

There are beautiful, wonderful, lusty women on here who really know about great sex, they love it and want to meet men. So don’t complain, improve your odds of meeting them.

Good luck OP

Andy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i say go to a club and stand out from the rest. Whatever everyone is wearing - wear the opposite. I used to like going to indie nights dressed in a pink night gown, my hair in pig tails, marilyn manson style makeup and an elmo doll under my arm. Had lots of fun.

Individuality is the key to your success my friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I then decided to check out the “competition” in my area. And I must say, it’s unbelievable how many single guys are on here.

I can understand why couples and females don’t bother responding or looking at profiles. But how do you stand out from the crowd?

Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow? "

I feel the same...i think i will leave soon..il try and make my self more appealing as the females really dont like my profile or pics...so maybe i have it in my head im too ugly for this fab site. I know there is also alot of competition but i lost the enthusiasm now....but thats life so hey ho!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I then decided to check out the “competition” in my area. And I must say, it’s unbelievable how many single guys are on here.

I can understand why couples and females don’t bother responding or looking at profiles. But how do you stand out from the crowd?

Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow?

No, improve your damn profile! It’s your stall, your shopfront, what you put in it says something about you. If it doesn’t look enticing the ladies are going to keep walking and shop

elsewhere. And there are thousands of young, handsome, buff, big cock studs out there.

Improve your profile text... “I like to see women’s faces in ecstasy”? Yawn. We all do mate, I literally orgasm from seeing it happen.

There are literally thousands of inspirational profiles on here to inspire you - clever, witty, sensual, funny. Put yourself in your profile readers head when you write it. Would you do you?

Don’t join the ranks of the whiners who post on the forums, have a profile makeover, rebrand, tweek and improve.

There are beautiful, wonderful, lusty women on here who really know about great sex, they love it and want to meet men. So don’t complain, improve your odds of meeting them.

Good luck OP

Andy

And today's prize for post of the day goes to....

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough

I then decided to check out the “competition” in my area. And I must say, it’s unbelievable how many single guys are on here.

I can understand why couples and females don’t bother responding or looking at profiles. But how do you stand out from the crowd?

Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow?

Think of it like this.

As somebody reading your profile if that's all the effort you can be bothered to make when you're selling yourself, how much will you make when you're sold.

Couple of half hearted pictures and an even more half hearted generic profile text. If you aren't going to bother why should people reading your profile?

Do you actually expect women to contact you begging for sex after that effort?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I then decided to check out the “competition” in my area. And I must say, it’s unbelievable how many single guys are on here.

I can understand why couples and females don’t bother responding or looking at profiles. But how do you stand out from the crowd?

Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow? "

If you've looked at others men's profiles in your area, have you compared your profile to the more successful ones? In order to stand out, you have to remember that your profile is your shop window. I would also suggest hiding the summary. The fact that your last meet was so long ago, may put some off and be the cause of some non responses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I then decided to check out the “competition” in my area. And I must say, it’s unbelievable how many single guys are on here.

I can understand why couples and females don’t bother responding or looking at profiles. But how do you stand out from the crowd?

Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow?

Think of it like this.

As somebody reading your profile if that's all the effort you can be bothered to make when you're selling yourself, how much will you make when you're sold.

Couple of half hearted pictures and an even more half hearted generic profile text. If you aren't going to bother why should people reading your profile?

Do you actually expect women to contact you begging for sex after that effort? "

Yes you are absolutely correct thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I then decided to check out the “competition” in my area. And I must say, it’s unbelievable how many single guys are on here.

I can understand why couples and females don’t bother responding or looking at profiles. But how do you stand out from the crowd?

Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow?

I stopped bothering OP - manners cost nothing and they rarely get used on here..

I now just browse the forums but even that novelty is starting to wear off...

What do you mean when you say manners rarely get used on here ?"

90% of the people I have messaged first cant even be bothered to say No Thank you..

If someoneone approached me in person and I werent keen I wouldnt just walk off without saying anything and leave them stood there like some sort of Idiot..

Just to confirm (because people are sensitive) Im not categorising everybody here as having no manners because I have spoken to some really nice people - just 90% of the Fab population

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I then decided to check out the “competition” in my area. And I must say, it’s unbelievable how many single guys are on here.

I can understand why couples and females don’t bother responding or looking at profiles. But how do you stand out from the crowd?

Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow?

I stopped bothering OP - manners cost nothing and they rarely get used on here..

I now just browse the forums but even that novelty is starting to wear off...

What do you mean when you say manners rarely get used on here ?

90% of the people I have messaged first cant even be bothered to say No Thank you..

If someoneone approached me in person and I werent keen I wouldnt just walk off without saying anything and leave them stood there like some sort of Idiot..

Just to confirm (because people are sensitive) Im not categorising everybody here as having no manners because I have spoken to some really nice people - just 90% of the Fab population

That's not rudeness it's just a perfectly acceptable way of saying no thanks per the site FAQs - and to use a slightly more appropriate analogy - do you reply to every piece of junk mail you get from the local pizza place or the Nigerian Prince offering you millions?

Same deal here

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I then decided to check out the “competition” in my area. And I must say, it’s unbelievable how many single guys are on here.

I can understand why couples and females don’t bother responding or looking at profiles. But how do you stand out from the crowd?

Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow?

I stopped bothering OP - manners cost nothing and they rarely get used on here..

I now just browse the forums but even that novelty is starting to wear off...

What do you mean when you say manners rarely get used on here ?

90% of the people I have messaged first cant even be bothered to say No Thank you..

If someoneone approached me in person and I werent keen I wouldnt just walk off without saying anything and leave them stood there like some sort of Idiot..

Just to confirm (because people are sensitive) Im not categorising everybody here as having no manners because I have spoken to some really nice people - just 90% of the Fab population

P.S. Have a read of The Silver Fux post further upthread for some very good pointers as to why you may not be getting responses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah, dead easy on here, like shooting fish in a barrel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nah, dead easy on here, like shooting fish in a barrel

Only if they’re in a flowerpot and you have a shotgun

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Dear OP

Your profile says “please look at my profile” Is that a useful piece of information?

From Steve

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/05/18 17:15:53]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go with the flow, have it as an add on to life."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all for the input. I will make changes as adviced. Some harsh realities, but constructive nevertheless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I then decided to check out the “competition” in my area. And I must say, it’s unbelievable how many single guys are on here.

I can understand why couples and females don’t bother responding or looking at profiles. But how do you stand out from the crowd?

Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow?

I stopped bothering OP - manners cost nothing and they rarely get used on here..

I now just browse the forums but even that novelty is starting to wear off...

What do you mean when you say manners rarely get used on here ?

90% of the people I have messaged first cant even be bothered to say No Thank you..

If someoneone approached me in person and I werent keen I wouldnt just walk off without saying anything and leave them stood there like some sort of Idiot..

Just to confirm (because people are sensitive) Im not categorising everybody here as having no manners because I have spoken to some really nice people - just 90% of the Fab population

P.S. Have a read of The Silver Fux post further upthread for some very good pointers as to why you may not be getting responses

Categorising Junk emails and messaging people on a swingers site as a similar thing - absolutely ridiculous, made me laugh though geez!!

I dont need pointers for responses - SilverFox doesnt know me in the slightest (Im sure you are a nice person though) more to the point why should I write a blurb and pretend to be somebody Im not..!?

Im more than happy browsing and giving opinions on the forums, If people message me then fair enough, rest assured I wont be losing any sleep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely go to where the real people are, at least you are talking to a face. Whilst there are some nice people on here, meeting anyone is way more difficult than real life.

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By *iftywaysMan
over a year ago

wigan

The big problem here are a lot of the guys are time wasters and lie about their status. So the genuine single males are dwarfed by the marrieds and those who message then loose their bottle. As a result couples and single females become pretty disillusioned by single males. I speak as being in a current couples profile and observing a single females profile. We take courtesy to say thanks but no thanks. Many males do not read profiles either. But remember. What is visible is subject and first few words in a message SO MAKE THEM COUNT and if you have attached a face photo. Make those first words relevant to the profile or status you have read.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

I then decided to check out the “competition” in my area. And I must say, it’s unbelievable how many single guys are on here.

I can understand why couples and females don’t bother responding or looking at profiles. But how do you stand out from the crowd?

Is it time to give up? Or go with the flow?

I stopped bothering OP - manners cost nothing and they rarely get used on here..

I now just browse the forums but even that novelty is starting to wear off...

What do you mean when you say manners rarely get used on here ?

90% of the people I have messaged first cant even be bothered to say No Thank you..

If someoneone approached me in person and I werent keen I wouldnt just walk off without saying anything and leave them stood there like some sort of Idiot..

Just to confirm (because people are sensitive) Im not categorising everybody here as having no manners because I have spoken to some really nice people - just 90% of the Fab population

Okay you need to recalibrate - if your message gets deleted... as it is clearly explained on Fab FAQs it is not rude. Just to explain why... one of my dates showed me her profile... she had received 718 messages over two days. No sane woman is going to answer all their messages even if it’s a no, not for me. Plus many woman are subjected to torrents of disgusting abuse from men who have received polite no thank you rejections. I’ve seen examples and it made me sick to my stomach to read some of it. Plus there’s all the ‘why what’s wrong with me?’ retorts, demanding explanations...

The social protocols on Fab are different because it’s a sex site, you don’t walk up to a couple in person as you put it, talk only to the female and say how your going to fuck her better than her husband ever has... but there’s men on here that do...

Again, create the absolute best profile you can and get noticed, get in forums, Fab their pics, send the odd message to likely potential meets (no cut and paste FFS) and take your rejections / deletes like a grownup, not an entitled horny angry douchbag.