FabSwingers.com forum: should i bother anymore?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi everyone, I generally dislike these 'woe is me' threads but I've been on here on and off for 3 years now without any meets

I've been a site supporter with no increase in interest, chatted on the forums, ditto

I've tried flirty, dirty, getting a bit shirty, cock in, cock out, face pics, body pics even face AND body pics to prove I'm not just half human.

I've had a few women talk to me and show a degree of interest but then just stop replying. I can't keep messaging them without it seeming to get stalkerish

My profile varies from long winded to succinct, at the moment it's a sort of happy medium.I don't want to throw my toys out of the pram and leave because I enjoy reading the forums but at the end of the day I joined hoping for a bit of female company and its just not happened.Maybe I'm just an ugly bof!

Any constructive advice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know your main problem right ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Tell me

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By *eothelionMan
over a year ago

chester

My advice, ditch what you've written and start a fresh. Get rid of the self-pity. no one will ever go for that. Write from the person's perspective you are trying to attract.

Some decent pictures, from suited and smart, to teasing to casual.

Go to some clubs, be social chat, get some verifications. Talk to clubs owners for advice.

Try to above and it will work. Got to make the effort. Its not easy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While I commend you for being open about being married you'll find a large amount of women on here won't meet cheating men.

And let's be honest you've been here 8 weeks, hardly long in Fab terms. If you expected to have had a meet in your first 6 months you're likely to be disappointed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tell me"

Whilst your marital status won't put everyone off, it will considerably reduce the numbers of interested parties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tell me"

It’s the fact you’re married. That will reduce the number of women willing to meet you I’m afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile comes across as very crude in places,and the fact that your married will put a lot of women off

I don't mean to judge I'm just giving my honest opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If matey can't work it out you shouldn't explain it...

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

Negative status won’t help you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I appreciate that being married greatly reduces my opportunities, but it's openly displayed on my profile and the women I've chatted to have been aware and unconcerned ( let's leave the moral argument out of it please) They have been married themselves and make their own choice.I'd never lie about my status just to get a shag!

I may have only joined 8 weeks ago, but I was on here for over 2 years before with no luck. Rejoined for one last try and to try and get some constructive advice

Not in a position to go to clubs, I work evenings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well done with you're honesty. Lots of guys need to take a leaf out of your book on that one! Yes, it will put a lot off but then they are the ones that you wouldn't want to meet anyway.

I'd get rid of the accommodating bit too. Even if women are willing to meet they are not likely to want to do it in your marital home! It's just a woman thing.

Other than that I guess the fact that you are male on here is likely to do you no favours?

Either keep going with no expectation, clubs, social events or just quit?

Good luck op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I appreciate that being married greatly reduces my opportunities, but it's openly displayed on my profile and the women I've chatted to have been aware and unconcerned ( let's leave the moral argument out of it please) They have been married themselves and make their own choice.I'd never lie about my status just to get a shag!

I may have only joined 8 weeks ago, but I was on here for over 2 years before with no luck. Rejoined for one last try and to try and get some constructive advice

Not in a position to go to clubs, I work evenings "

Some clubs are open during the day as well as in the evening.

If you work evenings, then that will also limit you to women who can meet during the day time.

Don’t give up though, just realise that you have obstacles which will make it harder to meet, but not impossible.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well done with you're honesty. Lots of guys need to take a leaf out of your book on that one! Yes, it will put a lot off but then they are the ones that you wouldn't want to meet anyway.

I'd get rid of the accommodating bit too. Even if women are willing to meet they are not likely to want to do it in your marital home! It's just a woman thing.

Other than that I guess the fact that you are male on here is likely to do you no favours?

Either keep going with no expectation, clubs, social events or just quit?

Good luck op "

Thanks for the non judgemental reply. The accommodation thing is difficult, my reasoning was if I met someone socially and we clicked, there MAY be an opportunity to take it further on occasion, but I see your point of view

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

I may have only joined 8 weeks ago, but I was on here for over 2 years before with no luck. Rejoined for one last try and to try and get some constructive advice

Not in a position to go to clubs, I work evenings "

Moral argument aside, there are people who just will not meet married people, but good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Negative status won’t help you. "

I've removed it, I was grumpy lol.I don't see how anything else in my profile is self pitying though?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do YOU think you could do to improve your profile and your chances?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well done with you're honesty. Lots of guys need to take a leaf out of your book on that one! Yes, it will put a lot off but then they are the ones that you wouldn't want to meet anyway.

I'd get rid of the accommodating bit too. Even if women are willing to meet they are not likely to want to do it in your marital home! It's just a woman thing.

I was going to say the same thing, it would be off-putting for me too. I also always think less is more - I’m not a fan of graphic descriptions from the off (the wet pussies bit), I’d keep it more general, ‘love giving oral’ for example. Only my opinion. Good luck!

Mrs F x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your profile comes across as very crude in places,and the fact that your married will put a lot of women off

I don't mean to judge I'm just giving my honest opinion "

Im not sure any of it is 'very crude' ??

One saucy sentence, but then it is a sex site! I've had to block profiles before as they've posted pictures which are so graphic and unpleasant to look at that I object to them appearing on my news feed..THAT is crude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably the one Willy pic on display doesn't actually say wow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Purely by being male on here limits you’re chances of meets

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Probably the one Willy pic on display doesn't actually say wow

Didn't think women liked Willy pics?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably the one Willy pic on display doesn't actually say wow

Didn't think women liked Willy pics?"

So why is your one and only pic of your flaccid willy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably the one Willy pic on display doesn't actually say wow

Didn't think women liked Willy pics?"

Exactly .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do YOU think you could do to improve your profile and your chances? "

That's why I'm asking for advice, but as usual people ( not yourself) feel the needto make insulting comments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm new and women like classy pics of men on display torso or nice bum pic .Jeans unbuttoned a bit ,loose belt .A pic too use the imagination .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do YOU think you could do to improve your profile and your chances?

That's why I'm asking for advice, but as usual people ( not yourself) feel the needto make insulting comments"

Ignore the insults.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm new and women like classy pics of men on display torso or nice bum pic .Jeans unbuttoned a bit ,loose belt .A pic too use the imagination .

OK, I've had other profile pictures, including fully clothed/ face pics

The one I'm using now got several fabs which is why I used it.Its not really what I'd class as a cock pic anyway, just a semi naked picture

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sell yourself; not sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm new and women like classy pics of men on display torso or nice bum pic .Jeans unbuttoned a bit ,loose belt .A pic too use the imagination .

OK, I've had other profile pictures, including fully clothed/ face pics

The one I'm using now got several fabs which is why I used it.Its not really what I'd class as a cock pic anyway, just a semi naked picture"

Pics attract people with different tastes .me personally don't like too see penis in public .I like classier pics but everyone is different .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not contradicting anyone, I'm trying to have a discussion

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

That's why I'm asking for advice, but as usual people ( not yourself) feel the needto make insulting comments"

Which is against rules, so is being nasty or bitchy.

Your profile is fine to me, says what you want and I don't think it is crude. I think there are people about who meet married people, you will just need some patience. Maybe add a couple more pics.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Can people remember, advice is not gospel, the people don't have to take it. Also remember attacking the person is not allowed.

If these type of threads annoy you please ignore them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's why I'm asking for advice, but as usual people ( not yourself) feel the needto make insulting comments

Which is against rules, so is being nasty or bitchy.

Your profile is fine to me, says what you want and I don't think it is crude. I think there are people about who meet married people, you will just need some patience. Maybe add a couple more pics."

Thank you, I have

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

That's why I'm asking for advice, but as usual people ( not yourself) feel the needto make insulting comments

Which is against rules, so is being nasty or bitchy.

Your profile is fine to me, says what you want and I don't think it is crude. I think there are people about who meet married people, you will just need some patience. Maybe add a couple more pics.

Thank you, I have"

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By *himp_KittenCouple
over a year ago

Preston

Im not sure the op has been attacked or insulted in any way. He has asked for advice and advice was given by another member that a picture of a flaccid penis was not attractive to her or flattering and that he should consider maybe removing it in favour of other types of photo's.

He's asked for advice and advice was given. We have to echo what other members have said, bravo for being honest and up front but personal choice we would never consider meeting someone married who's partner is kept in the dark. This factor combined with the fact males are plentiful on the site severely limits your chances. Women can find a gentleman without any ties / risks to have fun with.

To try and increase your chances we would suggest seeing if you can find any socials that may be suitable with your work/life balance. Profiles are good but seeing people in person is a much better way to sell yourself.

Also maybe search some of the other guys profiles who are a similar age and have met others. Take a look at their profiles for ideas to see what seems to be an eye catching profile.

We wish you luck x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Im not sure the op has been attacked or insulted in any way. He has asked for advice and advice was given by another member that a picture of a flaccid penis was not attractive to her or flattering and that he should consider maybe removing it in favour of other types of photo's.

Also maybe search some of the other guys profiles who are a similar age and have met others. Take a look at their profiles for ideas to see what seems to be an eye catching profile.

We wish you luck x"

Thank you. I've taken on board the replies and will consider what to put on my profile

The offensive comments were removed ( by admin I presume) which makes some of the other comments look a bit unbalanced

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I may have only joined 8 weeks ago, but I was on here for over 2 years before with no luck. Rejoined for one last try and to try and get some constructive advice

Not in a position to go to clubs, I work evenings "

Daytime club events maybe?

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By *himp_KittenCouple
over a year ago

Preston

In that case good work admin and you should definitely not have to put up with that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In that case good work admin and you should definitely not have to put up with that. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I may have only joined 8 weeks ago, but I was on here for over 2 years before with no luck. Rejoined for one last try and to try and get some constructive advice

Not in a position to go to clubs, I work evenings

Daytime club events maybe?"

The nearest one I know of is an hour away and opens at 11am.I normally work 2-11pm.I'd meet myself coming back!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look through your last 100 viewers

I just looked through mine

88 were men

6 were couples

4 were TV/TS

2 were women

Obviously these are only the viewers that aren't in stealth mode

But, let's for arguments sake say these numbers are representative ... if I were a man here looking for women, that is only a 2% view rate, whereas if I were a woman looking only for a man, that is a potential 88% hit rate

Of course, this may be a less than accurate way of looking at things, but it does highlight the huge disparity between guys & girls on this site.

That means that guys have to up their game massively to be noticed.

So, when you consider the fact you are married, the fact you work odd shifts, the fact you don't live in an area of high population, the fact your profile isn't knock out and the fact you appear to be a pretty regular middle aged guy, the odds aren't stacked in your favour.

That isn't meant to sound mean but rather offer an appreciation of just some of things that will make your journey here harder than it is for others.

My approach is that I am pretty ambivalent about the site and what it offers. I am happy with life in general, I am not looking for anything or anyone in particular and wouldn't rely on this site to throw it up anyway.

Take some of the pressure off yourself, sit back, chill, join in and let the site wash over you.

It's a great place, but you have to have a mindset to allow it work for you rather than trying to make it work for you.

Only in my opinion of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't judge on marital status because we're hardly in a position to. Seeing as you've asked for profile advice here goes.

Your pictures are unflattering and uninspiring. Is the first one meant to be ironic? Not everyone will get the joke...you just look miserable. The others are blurry, out of focus and the cock one just doesn't sell you at all...

Many people won't meet married guys for all kinds of reasons, some judgemental, some practical. We don't because they can't meet when we can. You just have to suck it up whatever the reason or how unfair you find it. I as the female though, often think that if a guys life partner doesn't want to have sex with him, why should I want to?

one major issue for us is that you say you can sometimes accomodate during the day? Is this in your marital home? Because if it was, that would be a huge no from us. Not only is it disrespectful to a person you're cheating on, but it's hugely risky...imagine how relaxing and sexy someone would find that...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well, thanks to those who've replied with constructive advice.The forums seem to be full of similar threads at the moment, many guys with same experience as me.Even allowing former my self imposed limits on ability to meet, it really does seem to be a needle in a haystack task, so I shall bow out gracefully before getting ripped apart any further

Good luck everyone finding their unicorns

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think most expect to send a few messages out now and again and expect replies and a shag

it simply not like that

one has to put hours upon hours everyday reading profiles , sending winks and messages, adding to hot list , browsing , etc etc etc to get results.

and of course to respect the ladies , there not pieces of meat to shag everyone on the site

i do ok but i put hours upon hours of effort in

i meet out of 100 messages is an average probably

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Im not sure the op has been attacked or insulted in any way.

He was, the posts were removed

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By *isty minxWoman
over a year ago

wonderland

I may have only joined 8 weeks ago, but I was on here for over 2 years before with no luck. Rejoined for one last try and to try and get some constructive advice

Not in a position to go to clubs, I work evenings "

With regard to going to clubs and working evenings do you work all 7 evenings? do you not have holiday entitlement? Surely if you wished to go you could find a way. Just a thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great thread it’s given me some good advice as well as the OP. Well done all,

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