FabSwingers.com forum: Can't get laid

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For some reason I can't get any action on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Welcome to the club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's why. It's not a knocking shop

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By *ribsaMan
over a year ago

A box at end of your bed

Join the rest of us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried wooing the ladies?

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Sorry to hear that guys. I have to fight them off with a shitty stick!

It's all in the Dinosaur Cock Shot® PM for detials and pricing for your very own.

-----------

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No action. Can't get laid.

Wow. I am surprised the ladies aren't beating a path to your door with words like that

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"Welcome to the club

I have a lot of fun at clubs.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

It's a mystery.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "

What have you tried doing so far?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'm more than a lay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you tried wooing the ladies?"

Woo!

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "

Tut...Oh dear...

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"Have you tried wooing the ladies?

Woo!"

Are you Ric Flair?

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

3,2,1 and action.....or not.

It's not as easy as that OP

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Have you tried wooing the ladies?

Woo!

Are you Ric Flair? "

I totally woo'd Ric Flair style as I read it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you tried wooing the ladies?

Woo!

Are you Ric Flair? "

If I could woo like ric I'd be elected

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm more than a lay

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that guys. I have to fight them off with a shitty stick!

It's all in the Dinosaur Cock Shot® PM for detials and pricing for your very own.

-----------

I fucking get here too late again. I bet they're all gone, as usual

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "

wonder why

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "

Maybe you need to change your approach.

I'd also suggest viewing responses to guys requesting profile advice.

Nita

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oy Ladies, Woooooooooooo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel your pain

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Sorry to hear that guys. I have to fight them off with a shitty stick!

It's all in the Dinosaur Cock Shot® PM for detials and pricing for your very own.

-----------

I fucking get here too late again. I bet they're all gone, as usual

Three left.

A Dinosaur Cock Shot® is winging it's way to you madam!

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "

Welcome to the party Pal!

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By *ribsaMan
over a year ago

A box at end of your bed

"Have you tried wooing the ladies?"

We are Not Wooing said ladies as we all playing with our swords.

Don't get that watch pirates of the Caribbean.

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By *rrol.BMan
over a year ago

Wrexham

The trick is to wear a quirky hat.

Chicks dig hats. Science.

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

I have same problem its a bugger being so fussy with no time

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I tried wooing a lady then I found how her name was Dave and she had a 9inch Wanger

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Have you tried wooing the ladies?

We are Not Wooing said ladies as we all playing with our swords.

Don't get that watch pirates of the Caribbean.

Sorry to hijack the thread Knights but your profile photo made me do a double take.

It looks like a white person with a black cock. Which bit is you?

Nita

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"For some reason I can't get any action on here.

Welcome to the party Pal!"

Are you John McClane?

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Have you tried wooing the ladies?

We are Not Wooing said ladies as we all playing with our swords.

Don't get that watch pirates of the Caribbean.

Sorry to hijack the thread Knights but your profile photo made me do a double take.

It looks like a white person with a black cock. Which bit is you?

Nita "

I think all the pics are of false cocks/toys!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you tried wooing the ladies?

We are Not Wooing said ladies as we all playing with our swords.

Don't get that watch pirates of the Caribbean.

Sorry to hijack the thread Knights but your profile photo made me do a double take.

It looks like a white person with a black cock. Which bit is you?

Nita "

the one with the eyes and big floppy ears maybe

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Have you tried wooing the ladies?

We are Not Wooing said ladies as we all playing with our swords.

Don't get that watch pirates of the Caribbean.

Sorry to hijack the thread Knights but your profile photo made me do a double take.

It looks like a white person with a black cock. Which bit is you?

Nita

the one with the eyes and big floppy ears maybe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you tried wooing the ladies?

Woo!

Are you Ric Flair? "

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "

What have you done to attract people?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oy Ladies, Woooooooooooo

That made me laugh

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Have you tried wooing the ladies?

We are Not Wooing said ladies as we all playing with our swords.

Don't get that watch pirates of the Caribbean.

Sorry to hijack the thread Knights but your profile photo made me do a double take.

It looks like a white person with a black cock. Which bit is you?

Nita "

I was wondering the same thing!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Sorry to hear that guys. I have to fight them off with a shitty stick!

It's all in the Dinosaur Cock Shot® PM for detials and pricing for your very own.

-----------

Excuse me, someone on here told me that you provide a girlfriend experience? Could you give me an idea of what that entails? I don't know how to do the private massage sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Patience is the key lol

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Patience is the key lol"

Crying laughing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "

As you can see it takes time. It will come! Slowly but surely i were told!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Patience is the key lol"

Trouble is, some people have keyholes that don't want to be used.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For some reason I can't get any action on here.

What have you done to attract people?"

See I phone people and just breathe really loud. Works every time 30% of the time.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "

Can you think of anything? Any reason?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Join the rest of us "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You gotta do more than that, to get laid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a buyers market.

If you ain't the customer, you are the product.

*Cliches provided free as a Public Service

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"You gotta do more than that, to get laid

"
you sound like an egg.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop moaning and get out there and find your princess to have sex with.

You will only be competing with the other 36432263563373322578636 single men that message her on a hourly basis.

Do the hourds of single guys that join here think there going to get sex within 4 min of joining lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For some reason I can't get any action on here.

What have you done to attract people?

See I phone people and just breathe really loud. Works every time 30% of the time. "

69% love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Patience is the key lol

Crying laughing "
lol yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time to go all Black eyed peas OP..

Where is the love...

No I'm going to stop before I get myself in more trouble ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Patience is the key lol

Trouble is, some people have keyholes that don't want to be used. "
Yes they do, they need to change it lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless ur black and have a 9 inch cock it will take time!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unless ur black and have a 9 inch cock it will take time!!"
I used a marker pen to color my cock in works a treat wall to wall women try it.

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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago

marlow

"You gotta do more than that, to get laid

you sound like an egg. "

Hilarious.....almost spat out my wine laughing x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "

Are you, perchance, related to Alan Partridge?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "

If you honestly can't see the reason why your getting no "action" then you don't deserve any "action"

Poppy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unless ur black and have a 9 inch cock it will take time!! I used a marker pen to color my cock in works a treat wall to wall women try it."

Hahaha i try cam cream me self! Im just missing the inches!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unless ur black and have a 9 inch cock it will take time!!"

I'm doomed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You gotta do more than that, to get laid

you sound like an egg.

Hilarious.....almost spat out my wine laughing x"

Never spit! It's a waste.... Especially wine.. Haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For some reason I can't get any action on here.

Are you, perchance, related to Alan Partridge?

Aha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm patient lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "

Read your profile. Then ask yourself the question.

WHY DO YOU THINK YOU CANT GET LAID.

Seriously?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this a serious question? This is a joke right??!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I think it's a serious question. Shakes my head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tried a carpet fitter?

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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago

marlow

"You gotta do more than that, to get laid

you sound like an egg.

Hilarious.....almost spat out my wine laughing x

Never spit! It's a waste.... Especially wine.. Haha! "

Good point x

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By *anchester_gentMan
over a year ago

Cheshire / Manchester border

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "

There's a certain irony to the fact that - like your post - your profile text is also complaining.... but not about getting no sex. About what hard work it is being a stud. Make your mind up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to message a fat ugly slut, they'll fuck anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You need to message a fat ugly slut, they'll fuck anything."

Ohhhh thats a bit below the belt!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You need to message a fat ugly slut, they'll fuck anything.

Ohhhh thats a bit below the belt!"

I think it's a bit ironic!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all start somewhere

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"For some reason I can't get any action on here.

Welcome to the party Pal!

Are you John McClane?

Yippee kayak other buckets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's terrible isn't it, I need sex and I can't get any either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's terrible isn't it, I need sex and I can't get any either

I find that very hard to believe

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By *anchester_gentMan
over a year ago

Cheshire / Manchester border

"You need to message a fat ugly slut, they'll fuck anything.

Ohhhh thats a bit below the belt!"

The reference to "fat ugly sluts" comes from the OP's profile.

You remember him - the guy who can't work out why he's not getting laid every 2 hours....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's terrible isn't it, I need sex and I can't get any either

I find that very hard to believe

I'm serious, think my mailbox is broken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's terrible isn't it, I need sex and I can't get any either

I find that very hard to believe

I'm serious, think my mailbox is broken

You need someone to come and mend it for you. I have a tool for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's terrible isn't it, I need sex and I can't get any either

I find that very hard to believe

I'm serious, think my mailbox is broken

You need someone to come and mend it for you. I have a tool for it

You do? That's great, you should come and fix it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's terrible isn't it, I need sex and I can't get any either

I find that very hard to believe

I'm serious, think my mailbox is broken

You need someone to come and mend it for you. I have a tool for it

You do? That's great, you should come and fix it

It would only require a few extra hours tho due to the unique infrastructure. That will do the trick!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's terrible isn't it, I need sex and I can't get any either

I find that very hard to believe

I'm serious, think my mailbox is broken

You need someone to come and mend it for you. I have a tool for it

You do? That's great, you should come and fix it

It would only require a few extra hours tho due to the unique infrastructure. That will do the trick!"

Oh really, seems a bit tricky, you sure you're up to the job?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's terrible isn't it, I need sex and I can't get any either

I find that very hard to believe

I'm serious, think my mailbox is broken

You need someone to come and mend it for you. I have a tool for it

You do? That's great, you should come and fix it

It would only require a few extra hours tho due to the unique infrastructure. That will do the trick!

Oh really, seems a bit tricky, you sure you're up to the job?

"
I think it will be quite finnicky at first but i'll manage. I practical like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's like batting in India this site, you need the patients of a saint and to be thick skinned.

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

Can't get any action? Let's work out why...

Your Profile is wholly negative.

First of all, stop whining in the text content.

Second, you have effectively classified a lot of females in a negative assumption on your part; a sure fire way to have the ladies ignore you.

No public pics, but you don't say why?

There's nothing there to describe yourself, what you seek, your interests with others.

Good Profiles and in turn, your input, deliver results. Your input is zilch. You've done nothing to "sell yourself".

Apart from all of that, it's not bad!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/08/17 23:49:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It might have something to do with the fact that probably 80% or more on here are guys. So us lady's get to be very selective. Also helps if the message stands out and the guy has actually read the profile

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Sorry to hear that guys. I have to fight them off with a shitty stick!

It's all in the Dinosaur Cock Shot® PM for detials and pricing for your very own.

-----------

Excuse me, someone on here told me that you provide a girlfriend experience? Could you give me an idea of what that entails? I don't know how to do the private massage sorry."

It's a boyfriend experience and my other self (Invictus) does that:

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/137452

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on what it says I. Your profile, and also how you approach the people you are messaging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope the OP never meets any one the whining old Fart lol

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"I hope the OP never meets any one the whining old Fart lol

Hes just a 'shadow' of his former self!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hope the OP never meets any one the whining old Fart lol

Hes just a 'shadow' of his former self!

Haha unlike you your like the re-ignited phoenix. Better wiser and tastier lol

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"I hope the OP never meets any one the whining old Fart lol

Hes just a 'shadow' of his former self!

Haha unlike you your like the re-ignited phoenix. Better wiser and tastier lol"

Aw you're so kind to a little old lady!....No shopping trolley here!

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By *ere2pleasureUMan
over a year ago

Kington

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "

Your profile says it all.

I suggest some pics will help.. All cock pics, at least one with a Sky Remote and one with spunk all over it. You'll find that'll work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Welcome to the club..takes a wile tho..ive meet one already but it took time

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

I get layed when I want but still one one pull on here. It will come.

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By *0shades 2000Man
over a year ago

coleraine

Your either trying to hard or not trying at all... just let it flow message a woman you like the look of without the expectation of sex and take it from there

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Patience is the key lol"
bugger beat me to it

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "
change your attitude towards women and don't make it sound like we should be here for your convenience then, another thread from a guy that thinks he's entitled!

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By *0shades 2000Man
over a year ago

coleraine

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. change your attitude towards women and don't make it sound like we should be here for your convenience then, another thread from a guy that thinks he's entitled!"

Boom high 5

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Boom high 5"

Seconded

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

Read the profiles so many men chase the wrong people. If you think you dont cut it, don't bother them. Be polite.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Cheers lads xxx

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "

Quote from profile, (not giving advice btw as it's not been asked for specifically!)

"Ok, I'm Actually going to make an effort with this profile.

Watch this space"

FOUR months ago lol!! Yep that may have something to do with it as well lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For some reason I can't get any action on here.

Quote from profile, (not giving advice btw as it's not been asked for specifically!)

"Ok, I'm Actually going to make an effort with this profile.

Watch this space"

FOUR months ago lol!! Yep that may have something to do with it as well lol!"

He's only just written that, the previous text was, let's just say, not going to win him any adoring female fans!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"For some reason I can't get any action on here.

Quote from profile, (not giving advice btw as it's not been asked for specifically!)

"Ok, I'm Actually going to make an effort with this profile.

Watch this space"

FOUR months ago lol!! Yep that may have something to do with it as well lol!

He's only just written that, the previous text was, let's just say, not going to win him any adoring female fans!"
what on earth was it??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For some reason I can't get any action on here.

Quote from profile, (not giving advice btw as it's not been asked for specifically!)

"Ok, I'm Actually going to make an effort with this profile.

Watch this space"

FOUR months ago lol!! Yep that may have something to do with it as well lol!

He's only just written that, the previous text was, let's just say, not going to win him any adoring female fans!what on earth was it??"

The gist was it's hard work being a stud but easy being a slag. It basically would have offended most women that read it!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"For some reason I can't get any action on here.

Quote from profile, (not giving advice btw as it's not been asked for specifically!)

"Ok, I'm Actually going to make an effort with this profile.

Watch this space"

FOUR months ago lol!! Yep that may have something to do with it as well lol!

He's only just written that, the previous text was, let's just say, not going to win him any adoring female fans!what on earth was it??

The gist was it's hard work being a stud but easy being a slag. It basically would have offended most women that read it!"
Jesus Christ

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By *uralRobMan
over a year ago

Ludlow

Just be yourself guys and not act or talk like a prick..... There are many genuine friendly fun ladies and couples who meet on here.... Be patient be polite and be respectful......

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By *entonMan
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"For some reason I can't get any action on here.

Are you, perchance, related to Alan Partridge?

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By *rightonCheekyMan
over a year ago

Brighton

Just put a meet up, something like "I want to get laid tonight" ought to do it. No point beating about the bush (so to speak). As this site is a guaranteed fuck fest you'll find ladies dropping their knickers in lust for you the length and breadth of the country.....

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Just put a meet up, something like "I want to get laid tonight" ought to do it. No point beating about the bush (so to speak). As this site is a guaranteed fuck fest you'll find ladies dropping their knickers in lust for you the length and breadth of the country.....

Yes this should work!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For some reason I can't get any action on here.

Your profile says it all.

I suggest some pics will help.. All cock pics, at least one with a Sky Remote and one with spunk all over it. You'll find that'll work

Hahaha

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By *exmanMan
over a year ago

Stainforth

"For some reason I can't get any action on here. "

Someone looking for sympathy shag then Lol

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Yes this should work!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you tried wooing the ladies?

We are Not Wooing said ladies as we all playing with our swords.

Don't get that watch pirates of the Caribbean.

Sorry to hijack the thread Knights but your profile photo made me do a double take.

It looks like a white person with a black cock. Which bit is you?

Nita "

Looks like cock sleeve extension thingy

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By *eepSatisfactionMan
over a year ago

milton keynes

Haha this made me laugh

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By *ink magnolia s yorksWoman
over a year ago

south yorkshire

"That's why. It's not a knocking shop

exactly as he said. Your profile is bland tbh, says nothing about you to tempt anyone. For example what are you looking for sexually, what type of person interests you?

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