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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This is just my own personal view so please respect it, but really is it too much to ask for a polite thanks but no thanks in response to messages?

I can hear you now all shouting at me about the 100s of messages you get and how it's impossible to reply to everyone but come on surely its not belong the realms of possibility to be able to distinguish between the no hope one liners and the genuine messages where time has been taken to send a personalised thought through message. The number of delete no replies is just so disheartening and feels akin to me talking to you and you merely turning your back and walking away. Ok I may not be your cup of tea and that's fine but just let me know rather than ignore me. Basic manners that's all I'm asking. Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would the same number of 'no thanks' messages as you get no replies to make you feel any less disheartened?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the message exchange that ends up with a face pic swap and you get the not what I'm looking for or an instant block is far worse than just being ignored!

Didn't realise I was John Merricks twin haha

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

The thing is OP - for some a polite thanks but no thanks can then lead to a message demanding to know why, or worse. So deleting and moving on while not ideal is often the best way to avoid prolonged contact with someone that the recipient didn't ask for a message from.

It's the way of Fab and you just have to accept it as such and just move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed

Especially when you take the added effort to take a note of all the little things mentioned throughout somebodies profile, doing all you can to try to stand out and grab their attention, as well as of course attaching the all important face picture (even though they aren't showing theirs).... To see that your message has not even been read yet they have been online changing their status all evening... gets frustrating after having it happen daily!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The thing is OP - for some a polite thanks but no thanks can then lead to a message demanding to know why, or worse. So deleting and moving on while not ideal is often the best way to avoid prolonged contact with someone that the recipient didn't ask for a message from.

It's the way of Fab and you just have to accept it as such and just move on."

Well put oh wise one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Agreed

Especially when you take the added effort to take a note of all the little things mentioned throughout somebodies profile, doing all you can to try to stand out and grab their attention, as well as of course attaching the all important face picture (even though they aren't showing theirs).... To see that your message has not even been read yet they have been online changing their status all evening... gets frustrating after having it happen daily! "

You can do all that, but if the recipient doesn't fancy you then you can highly expect the delete.

They may have read and marked it unread again.

They will almost certainly have looked at your profile before the content of the message, maybe they decided there and then that it wasn't going to happen.

So many guys get so worked up over their sent box, just empty it and treat every reply as a nice surprise.

Glass half full n all that.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"This is just my own personal view so please respect it, but really is it too much to ask for a polite thanks but no thanks in response to messages?

I can hear you now all shouting at me about the 100s of messages you get and how it's impossible to reply to everyone but come on surely its not belong the realms of possibility to be able to distinguish between the no hope one liners and the genuine messages where time has been taken to send a personalised thought through message. The number of delete no replies is just so disheartening and feels akin to me talking to you and you merely turning your back and walking away. Ok I may not be your cup of tea and that's fine but just let me know rather than ignore me. Basic manners that's all I'm asking. Thank you."

OP... This is from the FAQ section on messages

There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

OP H has a forum use profile, when it comes up in your search it has two lines of info

Forum use & lady chat only, not meeting from this account..

So, who messages? Single guys, five or six a day everyday. Most are very polite & nice messages too.

But why should she bother replying to those that either don't read your profile or do not give a flying fuck what it says and contact you anyway?

S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually find that looking on someones profile that says will delete if not interested is usually okay to guess that they are not interested or sometimes people may be too busy to talk or looking for something specific

Although my usual rule of thumb is if i get a your not for me then i block or hide the person so that i dont accidentaly message again

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By *ink magnolia s yorksWoman
over a year ago

south yorkshire

And the begging to change your mind...and just give ME a chance...exactly the same chance the last fifty asked for.

Why should people reply when most haven't bothered to put in the effort of reading their profile before they sent message?
"The thing is OP - for some a polite thanks but no thanks can then lead to a message demanding to know why, or worse. So deleting and moving on while not ideal is often the best way to avoid prolonged contact with someone that the recipient didn't ask for a message from.

It's the way of Fab and you just have to accept it as such and just move on."

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"The thing is OP - for some a polite thanks but no thanks can then lead to a message demanding to know why, or worse. So deleting and moving on while not ideal is often the best way to avoid prolonged contact with someone that the recipient didn't ask for a message from.

It's the way of Fab and you just have to accept it as such and just move on.

Well put oh wise one "

Why thank you kindly...although not so sure about wise!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is just my own personal view so please respect it, but really is it too much to ask for a polite thanks but no thanks in response to messages?

I can hear you now all shouting at me about the 100s of messages you get and how it's impossible to reply to everyone but come on surely its not belong the realms of possibility to be able to distinguish between the no hope one liners and the genuine messages where time has been taken to send a personalised thought through message. The number of delete no replies is just so disheartening and feels akin to me talking to you and you merely turning your back and walking away. Ok I may not be your cup of tea and that's fine but just let me know rather than ignore me. Basic manners that's all I'm asking. Thank you."

Yes it is too much. Read the FAQ.

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By *lim2000Man
over a year ago

bradford

[Removed by poster at 08/02/17 01:15:56]

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By *andH83Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"The thing is OP - for some a polite thanks but no thanks can then lead to a message demanding to know why, or worse. So deleting and moving on while not ideal is often the best way to avoid prolonged contact with someone that the recipient didn't ask for a message from.

It's the way of Fab and you just have to accept it as such and just move on."

Agreed

Even more frustrating when people don't read the profile , the wants and requirements and just message any way.

A no thanks can lead into another message and another and another!

One guy messaged us about 15 times in the space of two hours like it was some sort of Facebook check in!!

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By *emplarWarriorMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

I don't message many people anymore but I used too. I'm happy with no replies I just wish people would delete the message. whats annoying is when they dont, and it kinda makes you think they may reply, but they rarely did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get rejected all the time it doesn't bother me as I know I'm ugly lol but hey might get lucky one day lol happy fabbing all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks everyone, some good comments posted above. A reoccurring theme seems to be people assuming that their profile has not been read so why should they bother to reply. Like I mentioned originally I always read the profile in full and always make the effort to pick out bits from the profile to highlight our commonality and shared likes. All so often we are encouraged to stand out from the crowd and to make an effort. When we do this in our messages these same people asking for this then just delete and don't even acknowledge you.

Thanks again for comments, it's an interesting and emotive subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't get many messages anyway as we are not looking for meets.... but when we do, if they have read our profile and actually make the effort then we always reply ( even if it's a polite "no thanks ").

If it's a short "fancy a fuck " then we just delete, we used reply to all but we were accused of being timewasters by people who obviously didn't read our profile.

So while it might be frustrating not getting a reply I wouldn't read too much into it

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By *nked_kittenWoman
over a year ago

Ankh Morpork

Just delete your sent box. That's what I do then I don't wonder whether I've been ignored

And no one is entitled to a reply on here, it's harsh but the way things are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All so often we are encouraged to stand out from the crowd and to make an effort. When we do this in our messages these same people asking for this then just delete and don't even acknowledge you."

Like I said in an earlier response...

It doesn't matter how much you read the profile, think you match, put effort into the message. If the recipient still doesn't fancy you after looking at you, then you probably still won't get a reply.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"This is just my own personal view so please respect it, but really is it too much to ask for a polite thanks but no thanks in response to messages?

I can hear you now all shouting at me about the 100s of messages you get and how it's impossible to reply to everyone but come on surely its not belong the realms of possibility to be able to distinguish between the no hope one liners and the genuine messages where time has been taken to send a personalised thought through message. The number of delete no replies is just so disheartening and feels akin to me talking to you and you merely turning your back and walking away. Ok I may not be your cup of tea and that's fine but just let me know rather than ignore me. Basic manners that's all I'm asking. Thank you."

You weren't for them, or they were too ignorant to answer, either way; delete your sent message and block their profile. Eventually you will whittle down to the people you are more likely to share fun with

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By *leur de lisWoman
over a year ago

Buxton


"This is just my own personal view so please respect it, but really is it too much to ask for a polite thanks but no thanks in response to messages?

I can hear you now all shouting at me about the 100s of messages you get and how it's impossible to reply to everyone but come on surely its not belong the realms of possibility to be able to distinguish between the no hope one liners and the genuine messages where time has been taken to send a personalised thought through message. The number of delete no replies is just so disheartening and feels akin to me talking to you and you merely turning your back and walking away. Ok I may not be your cup of tea and that's fine but just let me know rather than ignore me. Basic manners that's all I'm asking. Thank you."

1/Some twatish guys go "but why not" over and over if you reply.

2/Some guys message you weeks later claiming you have chatted when you just said no.

3/Can't reply to all messages no time.

4/YOU like all guys don'#t listen to every phone cold caller and reply to every piece of junk mail so don't expect people to reply to all on here.

5/If you can't take it leave the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's an interesting post running atm about the same thing but when sending a face pic when requested and the response is the same..... block with no reply.

Most on there including the women have all replied it's rude and people should get manners.

Interesting how perception changes.

I see no difference between sending a good well thought out message and just getting blocked and sending the same with a pic. In both cases the recipient has often asked for a well thought out message and or with a photo.

Before anyone responds I'd like to say that most of these posts are actually from people who have sent well thought out and composed messages and not from the cut n paste knows who give no thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok so look at my pro...would you message me based on what you see. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get grief for saying No Thanks more than I do for just deleting.

Just can't win x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP H has a forum use profile, when it comes up in your search it has two lines of info

Forum use & lady chat only, not meeting from this account..

So, who messages? Single guys, five or six a day everyday. Most are very polite & nice messages too.

But why should she bother replying to those that either don't read your profile or do not give a flying fuck what it says and contact you anyway?

S

"

most of the messages I get are about meeting me. xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All so often we are encouraged to stand out from the crowd and to make an effort. When we do this in our messages these same people asking for this then just delete and don't even acknowledge you.

Like I said in an earlier response...

It doesn't matter how much you read the profile, think you match, put effort into the message. If the recipient still doesn't fancy you after looking at you, then you probably still won't get a reply. "

This unfortunately can contribute to the increasing number of people who then after spending lots of time and energy being decent and compose specific mail to just shorten messages to a one liner because 95/100 out of a hundred don't get replied or even read.

I tend to look at profiles...and even if they look a great match if I feel they are too popular...ie loads and loads of veris... loads of fantastic photos....and been on here a long time...I'll just put them into a hotlist as perv material but won't message as it's mostly pointless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See now, if I was messaging someone (which I rarely do as I'm antisocial like that) I'd rather be deleted and unread than get replies saying "I don't fancy you, don't want to fuck you and don't want to engage in conversation with you" which is basically what a "thanks but no thanks" reply is, I'd find that way more depressing.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

I'm inclined to believe that it's ultimately the profile which counts and attracts the necessary judgemental attention rather than the message.

A decent message supported by a profile which doesn't appeal for whatever reason is highly unlikely to elicit a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh this old chestnut again.

As others have pointed out OP, read the site FAQ's!!!!!

They're called 'Frequently asked questions' for a reason - because they are the questions that are asked the most frequently.

Someone once likened messages to those Takeaway menus that get posted through your door.

Do you phone each takeaway that does this to tell them 'Thanks, but I'm not interested'?

No. You would just throw them in the bin (or recycling)

Imagine, just for a moment, that you are a single female. You log on to fab and find you have over 100 messages.

As you go through the countless 'Hi's, 'How are you's' & 'Fancy a shag's, nobody takes your fancy.

How do you respond to 'Hi' if you're not interested?

So once you've dealt with all those messages, you have other things in your life to deal with, so you log out of fab.

Next time you log on, bam! 100 messages again.

Would YOU respond to every single one of them?

No, I thought not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh this old chestnut again.

As others have pointed out OP, read the site FAQ's!!!!!

They're called 'Frequently asked questions' for a reason - because they are the questions that are asked the most frequently.

Someone once likened messages to those Takeaway menus that get posted through your door.

Do you phone each takeaway that does this to tell them 'Thanks, but I'm not interested'?

No. You would just throw them in the bin (or recycling)

Imagine, just for a moment, that you are a single female. You log on to fab and find you have over 100 messages.

As you go through the countless 'Hi's, 'How are you's' & 'Fancy a shag's, nobody takes your fancy.

How do you respond to 'Hi' if you're not interested?

So once you've dealt with all those messages, you have other things in your life to deal with, so you log out of fab.

Next time you log on, bam! 100 messages again.

Would YOU respond to every single one of them?

No, I thought not."

You know, single women don't have to receive 100 messages. The site has things like filters which can be used by everyone. If they don't like receiving lots of messages, they can set their filters and start messaging the men who they like the look of. But then they wouldn't be able to moan about all the messages they get

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You know, single women don't have to receive 100 messages. The site has things like filters which can be used by everyone. If they don't like receiving lots of messages, they can set their filters and start messaging the men who they like the look of. But then they wouldn't be able to moan about all the messages they get "

Yes, I completely agree, but simply using this to emphasise a point

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Oh this old chestnut again.

As others have pointed out OP, read the site FAQ's!!!!!

They're called 'Frequently asked questions' for a reason - because they are the questions that are asked the most frequently.

Someone once likened messages to those Takeaway menus that get posted through your door.

Do you phone each takeaway that does this to tell them 'Thanks, but I'm not interested'?

No. You would just throw them in the bin (or recycling)

Imagine, just for a moment, that you are a single female. You log on to fab and find you have over 100 messages.

As you go through the countless 'Hi's, 'How are you's' & 'Fancy a shag's, nobody takes your fancy.

How do you respond to 'Hi' if you're not interested?

So once you've dealt with all those messages, you have other things in your life to deal with, so you log out of fab.

Next time you log on, bam! 100 messages again.

Would YOU respond to every single one of them?

No, I thought not."

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh this old chestnut again.

As others have pointed out OP, read the site FAQ's!!!!!

They're called 'Frequently asked questions' for a reason - because they are the questions that are asked the most frequently.

Someone once likened messages to those Takeaway menus that get posted through your door.

Do you phone each takeaway that does this to tell them 'Thanks, but I'm not interested'?

No. You would just throw them in the bin (or recycling)

Imagine, just for a moment, that you are a single female. You log on to fab and find you have over 100 messages.

As you go through the countless 'Hi's, 'How are you's' & 'Fancy a shag's, nobody takes your fancy.

How do you respond to 'Hi' if you're not interested?

So once you've dealt with all those messages, you have other things in your life to deal with, so you log out of fab.

Next time you log on, bam! 100 messages again.

Would YOU respond to every single one of them?

No, I thought not.

You know, single women don't have to receive 100 messages. The site has things like filters which can be used by everyone. If they don't like receiving lots of messages, they can set their filters and start messaging the men who they like the look of. But then they wouldn't be able to moan about all the messages they get "

This.....

I may be wrong as as it often happens but I'd say it's a small number who get hundreds of messages......Most high profiled formites and by that I mean those regularly on the forums...those who regularly post new photos and regularly update their status.....and who are on most days. They also like the attention as par their fab activities....but as you so rightly said they could easily cut those hundreds of messages down to 10 or less if use their filters better. Might mean they need to spend more time looking for prospective meets rather than them jumping at them in their inbox. ....

....but they couldn'tmoan about Iit either. I've a very good friend who used to get loads of messages and she woke up one day think... i should use these filters better. She still could get any meet she wants....but now she has a clean inbox and is able to spend more time chatting with suitable people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have said no thank you before and gotten abusive messages about our photos so I understand why people delete. Also, we delete if havent bothered to read our profile, why should we bother to reply?

H x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh this old chestnut again.

As others have pointed out OP, read the site FAQ's!!!!!

They're called 'Frequently asked questions' for a reason - because they are the questions that are asked the most frequently.

Someone once likened messages to those Takeaway menus that get posted through your door.

Do you phone each takeaway that does this to tell them 'Thanks, but I'm not interested'?

No. You would just throw them in the bin (or recycling)

Imagine, just for a moment, that you are a single female. You log on to fab and find you have over 100 messages.

As you go through the countless 'Hi's, 'How are you's' & 'Fancy a shag's, nobody takes your fancy.

How do you respond to 'Hi' if you're not interested?

So once you've dealt with all those messages, you have other things in your life to deal with, so you log out of fab.

Next time you log on, bam! 100 messages again.

Would YOU respond to every single one of them?

No, I thought not.

You know, single women don't have to receive 100 messages. The site has things like filters which can be used by everyone. If they don't like receiving lots of messages, they can set their filters and start messaging the men who they like the look of. But then they wouldn't be able to moan about all the messages they get

This.....

I may be wrong as as it often happens but I'd say it's a small number who get hundreds of messages......Most high profiled formites and by that I mean those regularly on the forums...those who regularly post new photos and regularly update their status.....and who are on most days. They also like the attention as par their fab activities....but as you so rightly said they could easily cut those hundreds of messages down to 10 or less if use their filters better. Might mean they need to spend more time looking for prospective meets rather than them jumping at them in their inbox. ....

....but they couldn'tmoan about Iit either. I've a very good friend who used to get loads of messages and she woke up one day think... i should use these filters better. She still could get any meet she wants....but now she has a clean inbox and is able to spend more time chatting with suitable people."

Exactly, I know what to do to get lots of messages and I also know what to do to reduce the amount of messages I get.

It's not rocket science

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh this old chestnut again.

As others have pointed out OP, read the site FAQ's!!!!!

They're called 'Frequently asked questions' for a reason - because they are the questions that are asked the most frequently.

Someone once likened messages to those Takeaway menus that get posted through your door.

Do you phone each takeaway that does this to tell them 'Thanks, but I'm not interested'?

No. You would just throw them in the bin (or recycling)

Imagine, just for a moment, that you are a single female. You log on to fab and find you have over 100 messages.

As you go through the countless 'Hi's, 'How are you's' & 'Fancy a shag's, nobody takes your fancy.

How do you respond to 'Hi' if you're not interested?

So once you've dealt with all those messages, you have other things in your life to deal with, so you log out of fab.

Next time you log on, bam! 100 messages again.

Would YOU respond to every single one of them?

No, I thought not.

You know, single women don't have to receive 100 messages. The site has things like filters which can be used by everyone. If they don't like receiving lots of messages, they can set their filters and start messaging the men who they like the look of. But then they wouldn't be able to moan about all the messages they get

This.....

I may be wrong as as it often happens but I'd say it's a small number who get hundreds of messages......Most high profiled formites and by that I mean those regularly on the forums...those who regularly post new photos and regularly update their status.....and who are on most days. They also like the attention as par their fab activities....but as you so rightly said they could easily cut those hundreds of messages down to 10 or less if use their filters better. Might mean they need to spend more time looking for prospective meets rather than them jumping at them in their inbox. ....

....but they couldn'tmoan about Iit either. I've a very good friend who used to get loads of messages and she woke up one day think... i should use these filters better. She still could get any meet she wants....but now she has a clean inbox and is able to spend more time chatting with suitable people.

Exactly, I know what to do to get lots of messages and I also know what to do to reduce the amount of messages I get.

It's not rocket science "

I use mine and get about 10 a week....from friends

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

All of this is really a no win situation as no mater what people do some buggar will still find something to moan about

Scenario one; all women set filters and search for themselves, you'll get the why do women never message me? posts

Scenarios two; all women forget the real world (afterall who needs a life hey) and reply to everyone, then it'll be boo hoo all I'm getting are no thanks messages type of posts

Scenario three: fab adds a thanks but no thanks type of response button to aid replying, then it'll be boo hoo I've gone to the effort to write a nice message and all I get in reply is the shitty unpersonalised reply button message type posts

I'm sure I've missed some more but I'm sure you get the point I'm making

And I see a lot of these type of threads and then guys on them profess that they always read the profile and write a decent messages, out of those guys some have messaged me. Out of the ones that have messaged me professing they do that guess how many actually did? So far zilch! Nada! None of them! Take everything on fab with a pinch of salt as what people say they do and actually do are entirely different things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All of this is really a no win situation as no mater what people do some buggar will still find something to moan about

Scenario one; all women set filters and search for themselves, you'll get the why do women never message me? posts

Scenarios two; all women forget the real world (afterall who needs a life hey) and reply to everyone, then it'll be boo hoo all I'm getting are no thanks messages type of posts

Scenario three: fab adds a thanks but no thanks type of response button to aid replying, then it'll be boo hoo I've gone to the effort to write a nice message and all I get in reply is the shitty unpersonalised reply button message type posts

I'm sure I've missed some more but I'm sure you get the point I'm making

And I see a lot of these type of threads and then guys on them profess that they always read the profile and write a decent messages, out of those guys some have messaged me. Out of the ones that have messaged me professing they do that guess how many actually did? So far zilch! Nada! None of them! Take everything on fab with a pinch of salt as what people say they do and actually do are entirely different things

"

You, young lady, have nailed it!!!

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

OP I delete many messages that are well thought out like you say yours are. Its not that I'm not interested all the time. Often I'm not interested right now but may be at some point.

The reason I don't reply is because if I decide to tighten up my filters if I have replied to them they can get around any filters I put on and contact me because I replied to that nice message they sent me.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

OP. Just imagine a lady gets 60 message in a particular day. If she spent 1 minute reading each one and looking over their profile, then doing a 'no thanks' reply, that would be 1 hour just sending 'no' messages. Then throw in the shitty replies she'll get back from some, and it's even longer.

No-one can be expected to do that.

Just accept that there isn't time or need to do it. It isn't rude, it's just practicalities of a sexual internet site.

MrB

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP. Just imagine a lady gets 60 message in a particular day. If she spent 1 minute reading each one and looking over their profile, then doing a 'no thanks' reply, that would be 1 hour just sending 'no' messages. Then throw in the shitty replies she'll get back from some, and it's even longer.

No-one can be expected to do that.

Just accept that there isn't time or need to do it. It isn't rude, it's just practicalities of a sexual internet site.

MrB"

She doesn't have to get 60 messages in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP. Just imagine a lady gets 60 message in a particular day. If she spent 1 minute reading each one and looking over their profile, then doing a 'no thanks' reply, that would be 1 hour just sending 'no' messages. Then throw in the shitty replies she'll get back from some, and it's even longer.

No-one can be expected to do that.

Just accept that there isn't time or need to do it. It isn't rude, it's just practicalities of a sexual internet site.

MrB

She doesn't have to get 60 messages in the first place "

They like it and so won't change it..... gives something for women to moan about as does men who want a reply. It's quids in for both sides....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh this old chestnut again.

As others have pointed out OP, read the site FAQ's!!!!!

They're called 'Frequently asked questions' for a reason - because they are the questions that are asked the most frequently.

Someone once likened messages to those Takeaway menus that get posted through your door.

Do you phone each takeaway that does this to tell them 'Thanks, but I'm not interested'?

No. You would just throw them in the bin (or recycling)

Imagine, just for a moment, that you are a single female. You log on to fab and find you have over 100 messages.

As you go through the countless 'Hi's, 'How are you's' & 'Fancy a shag's, nobody takes your fancy.

How do you respond to 'Hi' if you're not interested?

So once you've dealt with all those messages, you have other things in your life to deal with, so you log out of fab.

Next time you log on, bam! 100 messages again.

Would YOU respond to every single one of them?

No, I thought not."

You've missed the point. I'm talking about sending well thought out specific messages having read and assimilated the profile content and not random junk messages simply saying hi, etc. Please read the post.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh this old chestnut again.

As others have pointed out OP, read the site FAQ's!!!!!

They're called 'Frequently asked questions' for a reason - because they are the questions that are asked the most frequently.

Someone once likened messages to those Takeaway menus that get posted through your door.

Do you phone each takeaway that does this to tell them 'Thanks, but I'm not interested'?

No. You would just throw them in the bin (or recycling)

Imagine, just for a moment, that you are a single female. You log on to fab and find you have over 100 messages.

As you go through the countless 'Hi's, 'How are you's' & 'Fancy a shag's, nobody takes your fancy.

How do you respond to 'Hi' if you're not interested?

So once you've dealt with all those messages, you have other things in your life to deal with, so you log out of fab.

Next time you log on, bam! 100 messages again.

Would YOU respond to every single one of them?

No, I thought not.

You know, single women don't have to receive 100 messages. The site has things like filters which can be used by everyone. If they don't like receiving lots of messages, they can set their filters and start messaging the men who they like the look of. But then they wouldn't be able to moan about all the messages they get "

Very good post and true comment

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By *XHNHWoman
over a year ago

Stokeish...

My filters are deliberately set to only wanting to meet women between 30-47 so I don't come up in all searches, my header says club meets with black guys/ fems only, my profile is very detailed. Still get messages constantly off single guys meeting none of the criteria, telling me they can accommodate, sending pics etc. Why should I respond when they've just come past a message saying "wait, not looking for men"?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"The thing is OP - for some a polite thanks but no thanks can then lead to a message demanding to know why, or worse. So deleting and moving on while not ideal is often the best way to avoid prolonged contact with someone that the recipient didn't ask for a message from.

It's the way of Fab and you just have to accept it as such and just move on."

This plus in the FAQs no reply = no thanks

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

OP not being funny but your profile ahs your face pic on it. So it could just be they don't like the look of you.

Yes we often look at a profile before deciding whether to reply

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Most of my meets have been a result of me making first contact

I too message and get my messages deleted but I'm ok with that I just wasn't for them for whatever reason

I've gone to the effort to write the message because I'm interested in them I don't expect them to go to the effort conversing with me if they aren't interested, their time is better spent elsewhere on people they are interested in

So it's all good

I dont think they're rude or ignorant etc they just aren't interested they're just managing their profile in a way that best suits them

And I'm not self entitled enough to think anyone owes me anything on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah so because you have sent an unsolicited message to someone who you fancy and would like something to happen with, you feel entitled to a reply and the recipient is beholden to you to reply?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The thing is OP - for some a polite thanks but no thanks can then lead to a message demanding to know why, or worse. So deleting and moving on while not ideal is often the best way to avoid prolonged contact with someone that the recipient didn't ask for a message from.

It's the way of Fab and you just have to accept it as such and just move on."

I agree. I get a lot of " why not" if I send a polite not thanks. It's just not worse the hassle some seem to give.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get one or two messages a day. We reply to about half. But that still means we're sending a 'rejection' approximate daily. Yes I know it's only one. But after 2 years of doing this on a daily basis, it's starts to become like a tedious admin process. And we sure as hell didn't join Fab to do admin! Sometimes I think, 'do I have to reply to that?' And then guys nearly always say 'thank you for replying', which makes me regret replying even more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ah so because you have sent an unsolicited message to someone who you fancy and would like something to happen with, you feel entitled to a reply and the recipient is beholden to you to reply? "

How is a message unsolicited if the person messaged states they are looking for men? It's the very nature of the site, how else does contact get established?

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Ah so because you have sent an unsolicited message to someone who you fancy and would like something to happen with, you feel entitled to a reply and the recipient is beholden to you to reply?

How is a message unsolicited if the person messaged states they are looking for men? It's the very nature of the site, how else does contact get established?"

Just because it says they're looking for men doesn't mean all men

Unless the specifically as you to message them by username you're contact is unsolicited

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ah so because you have sent an unsolicited message to someone who you fancy and would like something to happen with, you feel entitled to a reply and the recipient is beholden to you to reply?

How is a message unsolicited if the person messaged states they are looking for men? It's the very nature of the site, how else does contact get established?

Just because it says they're looking for men doesn't mean all men

Unless the specifically as you to message them by username you're contact is unsolicited "

Craziness!!! How's this work then and how's anyone supposed to know it's ok to message?

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Ah so because you have sent an unsolicited message to someone who you fancy and would like something to happen with, you feel entitled to a reply and the recipient is beholden to you to reply?

How is a message unsolicited if the person messaged states they are looking for men? It's the very nature of the site, how else does contact get established?

Just because it says they're looking for men doesn't mean all men

Unless the specifically as you to message them by username you're contact is unsolicited

Craziness!!! How's this work then and how's anyone supposed to know it's ok to message?"

You can ready every bit of their profile, think you can match what they want and guess what they still might not want you specifically to mail them.

Every message you send you're taking a chance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ah so because you have sent an unsolicited message to someone who you fancy and would like something to happen with, you feel entitled to a reply and the recipient is beholden to you to reply?

How is a message unsolicited if the person messaged states they are looking for men? It's the very nature of the site, how else does contact get established?

Just because it says they're looking for men doesn't mean all men

Unless the specifically as you to message them by username you're contact is unsolicited

Craziness!!! How's this work then and how's anyone supposed to know it's ok to message?"

Is this a serious question? Surely you take a chance and if no response, know they ain't that into you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ah so because you have sent an unsolicited message to someone who you fancy and would like something to happen with, you feel entitled to a reply and the recipient is beholden to you to reply?

How is a message unsolicited if the person messaged states they are looking for men? It's the very nature of the site, how else does contact get established?"

It doesn't, if they don't reply or just delete the message. That's the point.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think this site is for the OP, with his attitude. Either get a grip or go back to whatever method works for you in the real world.

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By *onnyJohnMan
over a year ago

Doncaster

Send message - no reply, not read = fair 'nuff, move on.

Send message - deleted = fair 'nuff, move on.

Send message - blocked = fair 'nuff, move on.

Send message - reply (yipee) "no thanks"(booo) = reply "ok, thank you for the reply, take care." Move on.

Send message - reply (yipee) "let's chat get to know each other" = take it from there, if it doesn't work out.... Move on.

Thick skin patience and manners (even though you may feel others may not display manners) the whole message thing isn't going to change so all you can do is accept it.... or try other sites (you'll find they all suffer this problem)

Take care and have a great day

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Get a life outside of fab so that not receiving a reply isn't the be all and end all.

Imo you need to change the way you think, at the moment you're taking not getting a reply way to personally

It's not and once I've sent a message I don't build up any anticipation and expectation of getting a reply.

If I get a reply it's amazing and when I don't it doesn't hurt as I'm not expecting one

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth


"

You've missed the point. I'm talking about sending well thought out specific messages having read and assimilated the profile content and not random junk messages simply saying hi, etc. Please read the post."

We specifically say on our profile that we are not interested in meeting single males. The number of men who just ignore that is ridiculous!

And yes, they have often read the profile. One the other day even quoted part of it while he ignored our preferences and chanced his arm anyway.

We haven't yet blocked all single men from contacting us as we sometimes host parties, we like a few there to help keep the ladies happy. However, the amount of people ignoring our preferences recently means we have discussed changing our filters and will probably do so if it continues

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"

You've missed the point. I'm talking about sending well thought out specific messages having read and assimilated the profile content and not random junk messages simply saying hi, etc. Please read the post.

We specifically say on our profile that we are not interested in meeting single males. The number of men who just ignore that is ridiculous!

And yes, they have often read the profile. One the other day even quoted part of it while he ignored our preferences and chanced his arm anyway.

We haven't yet blocked all single men from contacting us as we sometimes host parties, we like a few there to help keep the ladies happy. However, the amount of people ignoring our preferences recently means we have discussed changing our filters and will probably do so if it continues "

Maybe block them then unblock when you are specifically looking for them could be the answer?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get rejected all the time it doesn't bother me as I know I'm ugly lol but hey might get lucky one day lol happy fabbing all."

Interestingly enough, most the conventionally attractive people i know dont do so well. Being ALMOST flawless but not quite isn't that easy either. Meanwhile the less CONVENTIONALLY attractive people do jusy fine as they sell what they know have.

2 cents

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

OP, the other thing to remember is this :- it's just the way it is

By complaining in the forum (that 1% of the site read) isn't going to change it. Sad but true.

So, it will be better for you if you learn to accept how it is and just get on with it as best you can.

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