FabSwingers.com forum: Where am I going wrong???

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi everybody, I've been on here a while now and I've still not met anyone from here and feel like I'm wasting my time, I have a lot to offer but maybe I'm not getting that across.

Any advice or ideas would be appreciated. Hope I'm not coming across as sympathetic but I don't understand my problem and a outside perspective might help as I've read other posts of people helping others and hope the same help can help me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dunno maybe consider a name change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your name sounds like a brutal anal toy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your username speaks volumes and would put us off without even looking at your profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

User name maybe ?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Horrid user name

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say to change your username and add to your profile. Some of the guys have great ones, on here. Check them out for ideas!

Good luck, OP!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your username says ass punisher but your picture says the only ass you punish is your own.

No offence.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Erm, yeah. Username is definitely something that could be addressed. Your profile text could do with a bit of oomph - currently reads quite dull with several issues. Take a look at a few on the forums and see what they do or don't put. I'm not sure fresh meat is too appealing either, sorry OP. Try a club - great way to create intial contact and hopefully get verified also.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Hmmmm yes, you could do with a few more pics and definitely a new username. If anyone messaged me with such a horrid name it would be an instant delete.

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By *he girl with dreadlocksWoman
over a year ago

need to know basis in Wolverhampton

"Dunno maybe consider a name change

Not everyone is looking to have their arse punished mate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your username says ass punisher but your picture says the only ass you punish is your own.

No offence."

Ohhh snap!

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By *eaded_BazMan
over a year ago

Truro

"I'd say to change your username and add to your profile. Some of the guys have great ones, on here. Check them out for ideas!

Good luck, OP! "

This OP, put more of yourself in to your profile. You need to grab someone's attention, a profile that can be read in full in 5 seconds will make you forgettable mate.

Good luck

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth

If you messaged us we wouldn't read any further than your username I'm afraid. Would be an instant delete without reading either the message or the profile.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

As others have said OPI'd start with a name change, the current one is pretty repulsive to be honest.

Then take a look at your profile and ask does it really sell you well? Does it lay out clearly who you are, what you're looking for, and what you think you have to offer?

You've got a face pic as your one public pic which is good, but consider perhaps some tasteful body shots (not blatant cock pics) that show you off.

When messaging potential meets, send decent messages of more than a few words and tailor them to the person's profile.

Do all of that and you should be on the right path.

But first things first, change that god awful username, until you do you're 99.99% certain of going nowhere!

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What everyone else said....

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Get out of your own head and attempt to get in to the person you wants head might help, mirror marketing is not a good trait from my perspective .

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

Mabey have mor info on your profile ? i carnt give mutch mor advice as im in the same boat with no meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Errrrr I hazard a guess that it's your name op. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of the above. I would delete without reading message with that username

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"What everyone else said...."

I think you should actually say it......

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Mabey have mor info on your profile ? i carnt give mutch mor advice as im in the same boat with no meets."
......yet. You have a friendly user name. Quite pebbly and rockpooly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there an echo in here?

My rule of thumb when it comes to a good name is if you introduced yourself to someone with that name would you say it proudly or would you be embarrassed?

Take a while and think about what you want to say about yourself, try and think of something witty or original. Try not to be crude or sexual, that will help short term

Oh and just to label the point awful awful awful choice of name!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup, the user name. If I got a message from a name along those lines, I wouldn't even get as far as reading the profile or looking at the pictures. If you were serious about advice then that would be a good place to start with alterations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dunno maybe consider a name change

Maybe that's what he's into though. I thought the whole point was to be up front on here...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What everyone else said....

I think you should actually say it......"

Oh go on then. It's your username OP. it's frightfully off-putting

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By *inkySlinkyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Ass punisher you need to read your profile again. Lots of errors such as "I am open mined" and "on the basis of for filling each others needs".

Sally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suggest ass destroyer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

User name isn't the only problem.

The profile text is a bit like coming from a teenager. Not to mention the errors in the text.

Add more photos as well. Offer a diner to every lady who wants to meet you, without the expectation for a returned favour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing more to say Asspunisher omg change it listen to the replies by the girls they are all correct

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive deleted several messages from the OP in the last few months.

Aside from all the advice here, maybe consider reading the profile of the person you're messaging. Just a thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could perhaps change it. Maybe say "Painful Scrotum Rash" or "Vaginal Discharge"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi everybody, I've been on here a while now and I've still not met anyone from here and feel like I'm wasting my time, I have a lot to offer but maybe I'm not getting that across.

You really are not getting it across.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Change your user name.

Add more photos.

Write a better profile.

Remember as a single guy, it's hard. It's a buyers market for couples and single girls looking for guys. They get 100's of messages a day!!!!!

Be specific about what you want and what you can offer. Also be polite too!!

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile slates younger women as well as BBWS.

Your say you're looking for intelligent women yet have quite a few spelling and grammar issues...

Just saying

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

Two days on, and virtually the same advice from every poster on here....and still the OP user name hasn't changed....

If you aren't going to take advice.....

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Moving along from the name, is that THE best photo of you, OP?

If so, maybe take the photography reference out.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I think your profile gives a great insight into the kind of guy you are

I also think that's the reason for your lack of success

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By *rimo4uMan
over a year ago

north kensington w10

What about Ass Terminator!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am taking the advice on board however, until I have Xmas under wraps I don't have the money to spend on silver membership yet so presents come first then I'll sort that out, I have re-written my profile though it's hard to just say this is what I'm looking for without being picky and sounding like I'm only going to reply to 10s who are super models when I'm trying to be broard without coming across as desperate though I think this forum I opened might have already done that.

I do need to set aside time to plan and upload good photos of myself, even though I am a photographer, the only thing I can't see in first person is myself so knowing how I look good in a photo is difficult because I have to both stand out but be sought after as well.

I hope my new profile is a improvement but if their is grammar errors in there then I will them out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am taking the advice on board however, until I have Xmas under wraps I don't have the money to spend on silver membership yet so presents come first then I'll sort that out, I have re-written my profile though it's hard to just say this is what I'm looking for without being picky and sounding like I'm only going to reply to 10s who are super models when I'm trying to be broard without coming across as desperate though I think this forum I opened might have already done that.

I hope my new profile is a improvement but if their is grammar errors in there then I will them out. "

Not the grammar that will put people off, more likely assuming that younger girls are dumb and crazy, and making comments like even the bbw's....

Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ass punisher ? Are you serious ? Subtle as a brick !

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I didn't realise site supporter was a prerequisite to changing username.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

OP your profile is a definite improvement over what it was although I'd remove the line anout excluding yourself to porn models and supermodels and especially the thing about BBWs, it comes across as derogatory.

As for getting site membership to change your username you have two options - it's only a fiver for a month so forego just one pint over Xmas and it's paid for!! Alternately delete this profile and start a new one with a new name which costs you nothing.

Either way until you change username the outlook is bleak I would say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The username is would make you a total non-starter for us.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

That username will put off virtually everyone.

You also have multiple spelling and grammatical errors in your profile. It is possible you are dyslexic, in which case do say so otherwise it smacks of laziness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

instead of telling the OP how bad his username is, lets suggest a new one as he obviously needs all the help he can get

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By *inkySlinkyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

You are a photographer and in 11 months you have only uploaded one photo? I assume you have been kept busy fighting off all those porn stars and centrefolds.

Sally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't need to upgrade - just delete the profile and start again. No one will meet you with a name like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol maybe with that username you are on the wrong site !!! ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really think your profile and username are ok. The positives are you're not married and playing away. You're not looking for bareback sex and you don't have a million cock pics. Try getting out to a social , you might be able to sell yourself better in person than online.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you saying you don't have £5 to get silver status ?

For three months membership ?

As has been said repeatedly ... name change required. We wouldn't even read the message with a name like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really think your profile and username are ok. The positives are you're not married and playing away. You're not looking for bareback sex and you don't have a million cock pics. Try getting out to a social , you might be able to sell yourself better in person than online. "

Many would beg to differ.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope my new profile is a improvement but if their is grammar errors in there then I will them out. "

Apart from your username which would earn you an instant place on my block list, I read in your profile that 'you aren't all that picky any more'! I would take the hump at that, so off to my block list. Happy fabbing.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"instead of telling the OP how bad his username is, lets suggest a new one as he obviously needs all the help he can get

He should leave it as it is,

Maybe he just loves very very hot currys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many would beg to differ. "

Yes , but in life you can't please everyone. Some couples or females might actually like his name.

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By *ade_of_StarsCouple
over a year ago

Whitburn

Ass Punisher is an anagram of Shuns Praise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeh cos going to a social and introducing yourself as 'ass punisher' would have the ladies creaming their knickers. Please let me know if you take his advice cos I'd love to see this for the entertainment value.

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

Many would beg to differ.

Yes , but in life you can't please everyone. Some couples or females might actually like his name."

From evidence above, it does suggest that for every one woman who wants that part of her anatomy punished, there's thirty who run a mile. I'm sure there's the odd woman out there who will think it's right up their street (or balloon knot), but it's definitely limiting him.

Besides, this is the UK - it should be "Arse punisher"

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By *otrockloverMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Your profile reads as being a little immature. Everything from the username, mild denigration of bbw's and reference to centrefolds and fresh meat..

Whilst there are many different types of profiles on here, I've found the ones that seems to have the least 'success' are the ones that come across as adolescent in tone. Women on here are looking for men, not boys.

Delete and start again whilst you've no veris to lose. I'm sure you'll do better once you do.

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By *offee and Cream 2Couple (MM)
over a year ago

Loughborough

You have "I trouble!"

I this, I that, and I the other!

Never mind what you want, what you would like......

What is on offer for the girls you want to meet?

What have you got to give?

Whats in it for them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"your name sounds like a brutal anal toy.

lol thats funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi everybody, I've been on here a while now and I've still not met anyone from here and feel like I'm wasting my time, I have a lot to offer but maybe I'm not getting that across.

patience is a virtue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

N A M E !!!!!

Can't believe you are even asking the question. I've seen your profile a few time but once I spotted the name I have never even looked at any of your profile info.

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By *eoffinthecityMan
over a year ago

Wigan

Also, if you're genuinely looking for a meet (rather than using this as a tinder variant) then consider your local club, a social or an organised event. Theyre a great way to start to get to know people in a safe, guided environment.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

So OP, 6 days later and you don't appear to have taken any of the advice given, particularly about your username, did you actually want advice in the first place?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So OP, 6 days later and you don't appear to have taken any of the advice given, particularly about your username, did you actually want advice in the first place?

I very much doubt it.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

"You could perhaps change it. Maybe say "Painful Scrotum Rash" or "Vaginal Discharge""

Love it lol

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By *ERSHEYMan
over a year ago

Newton Abbot

Practically stating that you are unable to see yourself in the first person is not great my friend.

You need to love yourself before others will.

Confidence mate. Allow it to shine through.

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By *r RPDMan
over a year ago

Around Worcester

"Mabey have mor info on your profile ? i carnt give mutch mor advice as im in the same boat with no meets."

"No wen ya spell Lyk dis"

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Many would beg to differ.

Yes , but in life you can't please everyone. Some couples or females might actually like his name.

Besides, this is the UK - it should be "Arse punisher"

I was just about to post about the difference between ass and arse but maybe he likes shagging donkeys?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Poor bloke has just been destroyed. Hang in there mate.

Oh and change your username lol

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Mabey have mor info on your profile ? i carnt give mutch mor advice as im in the same boat with no meets.

"No wen ya spell Lyk dis"

When mocking the spelling of a dyslexic, be aware that some will review your profile text for grammar and punctuation as well as spelling, even if forum rules prevent them giving you the feedback unsolicited.

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By *arumcoupleCouple
over a year ago

salisbury

Username like yours says to us RUN AWAY sorry..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Photo too dark and not verified

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Many would beg to differ.

Yes , but in life you can't please everyone. Some couples or females might actually like his name.

Besides, this is the UK - it should be "Arse punisher"

I was just about to post about the difference between ass and arse but maybe he likes shagging donkeys?"

Thanks I needed that chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but this thread has made me cry with laughter

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By *.1079Man
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

After reading the above I would give up mate

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

Its the fact you must have thought about the name before you placed it on your profile and that makes it even more disturbing. Sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eleven months and no green tick says a lot to women. Start fresh. Look at some verified men's profiles (even mine) for ideas on text. Read women's/couples profiles properly, engage them by mentioning something they say in their text content and don't send the same copy and pasted boring old shite/filth.

And get rid of that name! You don't have to call yourself "Tooshy Tickler" but honestly, you have to try to present yourself as approachable rather than a gay rapist!

Hope this helps.

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

I think this is the first thread I have ever read where everyone is in total agreement , genuinely laughed when I read the name

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But the one constant on these threads.......it's been seven days....and no advice taken!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

+1 for the username being off putting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"+1 for the username being off putting."

Honestly , why are usernames so off putting to everyone?

It's just something someone thought up in the spur of the moment. He could be a good guy

If my username was Veryniceguy .. I could still be a jerk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But the one constant on these threads.......it's been seven days....and no advice taken!"

I was thinking the same.

OP, either change your approach or change your expectations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op there's lots of us on here who really shouldn't hand out advice on what's included in our profiles myself included but that user name is brutal bud!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"+1 for the username being off putting.

Honestly , why are usernames so off putting to everyone?

It's just something someone thought up in the spur of the moment. He could be a good guy

If my username was Veryniceguy .. I could still be a jerk "

someone on another site, with nice guy in his name, gave me a load of grief for not wanting to fuck him and then started saying i was nothing much to look at.

so i agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"+1 for the username being off putting.

Honestly , why are usernames so off putting to everyone?

It's just something someone thought up in the spur of the moment. He could be a good guy

If my username was Veryniceguy .. I could still be a jerk

someone on another site, with nice guy in his name, gave me a load of grief for not wanting to fuck him and then started saying i was nothing much to look at.

so i agree.

Thank you... your username is your invitation to the party. Your message is how you get the girl to dance..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/12/16 07:20:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"+1 for the username being off putting.

Honestly , why are usernames so off putting to everyone?

It's just something someone thought up in the spur of the moment. He could be a good guy

If my username was Veryniceguy .. I could still be a jerk "

I think the choice of username is subliminal, we don't really choose it at random, certainly not one like that. If you chose Veryniceguy, you would be trying to send that message across, whether you were or you weren't. I am the Red Queen from Lewis Carrol's novels, coz I am a bad/short -tempered, bossy bitch...there are HornyDevils, Gang bang lovers, Cum sluts etc....a username is just not as random as some people would have us believe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously username

Have to say thing that made me smile or do I mean snarl when reading your profile was that you EVEN find BBWs attractive who can pull it off

Everyone has their own preferences but really was the word even needed ?

Yes Im big but I will never be an "even"

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

The Wild Wetness

The more help given out to those who don't have a clue, the more difficult it becomes to filter out those with little to offer from the potentially better meets.

There is a difference between self improvement and improving your image.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"The more help given out to those who don't have a clue, the more difficult it becomes to filter out those with little to offer from the potentially better meets.

There is a difference between self improvement and improving your image.

I take the general point but, assuming that sound advice for profile improvement is adopted, (which it frequently isn't) the quality of the subsequent messages should still be a pretty good indicator

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a slightly different note, the phrase 'not as picky as I used to be' can have overtones where any potential meet is thinking 'is he dropping his standards for a fuck?'

But yeah, username too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"+1 for the username being off putting.

Honestly , why are usernames so off putting to everyone?

It's just something someone thought up in the spur of the moment. He could be a good guy

If my username was Veryniceguy .. I could still be a jerk "

For us single makes on here, it's all about selling ourselves. You wouldn't buy underpants if they were called "Plum Crushers."

It's about what's on the packaging for women and couples. They probably see "ass Punisher" in their inbox and think BDSM!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely wouldn't meet ass punisher sounds vary painful. Definitely a name change due

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By *azbirdy93Couple
over a year ago

alfreton

Maybe the nsa relationship thing... People on here arnt looking for any relationship? Are they?

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"+1 for the username being off putting.

Honestly , why are usernames so off putting to everyone?

It's just something someone thought up in the spur of the moment. He could be a good guy

If my username was Veryniceguy .. I could still be a jerk

someone on another site, with nice guy in his name, gave me a load of grief for not wanting to fuck him and then started saying i was nothing much to look at.

so i agree.

Thank you... your username is your invitation to the party. Your message is how you get the girl to dance.."

Curious if you'd be up to testing your theory, by changing your username to something extremely crude/unpleasant sounding? You could do so for a few months and then report back in if your success as deteriorated, improved, or remained the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"+1 for the username being off putting.

Honestly , why are usernames so off putting to everyone?

It's just something someone thought up in the spur of the moment. He could be a good guy

If my username was Veryniceguy .. I could still be a jerk

someone on another site, with nice guy in his name, gave me a load of grief for not wanting to fuck him and then started saying i was nothing much to look at.

so i agree.

Thank you... your username is your invitation to the party. Your message is how you get the girl to dance.."

If the invitation sucks then I'm not interested in the party. 'Ass punisher' messaged me a few times and I never never read the messages, just deleted in disgust to be honest. Didn't even read past the name.

If he's not getting meets then 99.9% of the thread must be wrong then.

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

User name big eeewww

Photos .. for someone saying that they're into photography make an effort!

Not as picky as you used to be! Gee thanks :/

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