FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Introductions

Respected and hated playwright seeketh others for making the beast with two backs.

Jump to newest
 

By *he Bard OP   Man
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Behold literary lovers. 'Tis with much trepidation that I brave this most new and fangled of technologies. For, in days of yore, t'were easy to mix and mate with maidens of a buxom stature. 'Twas often upon a midsummer night I would have a muse for supper. Whereupon I would have wrist ache from much usage of the quill! Bouts of vigorous thrusting would usually accompany a thorough quaffing of her quim. During said thrusting, I would take great delight feeling my muse 'die the small death' with moaning that would rival any banshee.

'Tis now upon modern times, and it is upon me that I must introduce myself. That I should do so alone on this new and fangled page. I seeketh wenches of keen beauty, buxom proportions and be free of plagues and other afflictions that may affect future performances with other women. Tis to this end that I may say that care should be taken to one and all, that ones health not be that of the same fate as of Macbeth. For no witches that boil and bubble should come near. If thine face is warted with sores, or thine breath is that of fetid water then do please refrain contact.

In my day, a man who was of decent stature and intellect was indeed much sought after by the women folk from near and far. The gentry would sometimes invite me over to discuss stories of experiences and perhaps to engage in coitus with their beloved. Hence, I wrote of cuckolds and that they wouldst have horns like a goat to further ridicule.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *edRidingWolfCouple
over a year ago

Lydney

And this is how you do an introduction

Red x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to have a conversation with you but I don't think I'd cope with the constant olde English!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

A wordsmith

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey nonney nonney, my love is like a prick..............on a Tudour rose

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

How refreshing ....a guy that can actually spell ..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

Genius.

You deserve to have your mediaeval bollocks tickled by buxom wenches all day long for that.

Love the spelling of your location btw - I suspect its a "smalle hamlet" I lived near for a while.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Methinks a man of many words...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

Awesome

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

Forsooth a man of wit and words that Fab surely needs. May you partake of all your worldly desires henceforth and forthwith. Salutations and good day to you sirrah.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

fend inftruction to the coachman, for the OP if within ftriking diftance

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irty130Couple
over a year ago

Bristol Area

100 Fab points to The Bard. You win the internet today.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nice new approach but I think after a while the ladies would go into meltdown from having to translate old English into new English but 10 out of 10 for the approach

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

Nicely done! We wish you the best of luck groping for trout in this peculiar river, if you'll forgive us the paraphrase.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol


"Nice new approach but I think after a while the ladies would go into meltdown from having to translate old English into new English but 10 out of 10 for the approach "

He's writing in Early Modern English, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, bull's-pizzle, you stock-fish!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *w214Couple
over a year ago

Wirral


"Behold literary lovers. 'Tis with much trepidation that I brave this most new and fangled of technologies. For, in days of yore, t'were easy to mix and mate with maidens of a buxom stature. 'Twas often upon a midsummer night I would have a muse for supper. Whereupon I would have wrist ache from much usage of the quill! Bouts of vigorous thrusting would usually accompany a thorough quaffing of her quim. During said thrusting, I would take great delight feeling my muse 'die the small death' with moaning that would rival any banshee.

'Tis now upon modern times, and it is upon me that I must introduce myself. That I should do so alone on this new and fangled page. I seeketh wenches of keen beauty, buxom proportions and be free of plagues and other afflictions that may affect future performances with other women. Tis to this end that I may say that care should be taken to one and all, that ones health not be that of the same fate as of Macbeth. For no witches that boil and bubble should come near. If thine face is warted with sores, or thine breath is that of fetid water then do please refrain contact.

In my day, a man who was of decent stature and intellect was indeed much sought after by the women folk from near and far. The gentry would sometimes invite me over to discuss stories of experiences and perhaps to engage in coitus with their beloved. Hence, I wrote of cuckolds and that they wouldst have horns like a goat to further ridicule.

"

U wot M8?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Men were deceivers ever"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nice new approach but I think after a while the ladies would go into meltdown from having to translate old English into new English but 10 out of 10 for the approach

He's writing in Early Modern English, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, bull's-pizzle, you stock-fish!"
bless my codpiece as I wash my runciple spoon

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top