FabSwingers.com forum: This is quite deep

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OK so here goes. Had a few drinks which has given me the bottle to write this lol. No one has ever really found me attractive. Never really had a long term girlfriend. Lost alot of confidence over the years and don't really feel like a real man. Don't get messages on here or on dating sites that I'm on. What am I doing wrong.no ones seems to really bother with me. But I want to change all this probably just committed fab suicide lol oh well just want to see what people's views are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck OP.

There's lots of posts similar to this one so you aren't alone in that respect. You can search the forums. You've lovely pictures and have written a blurb. Just got to be patient.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Good luck OP.

There's lots of posts similar to this one so you aren't alone in that respect. You can search the forums. You've lovely pictures and have written a blurb. Just got to be patient.

"
thank you Sarah x

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By *Carver-Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

It's a fair question, and it counts for a lot that you aren't blaming the situation on women like a lot of fab guys do. I think your profile could benefit from a bit of a rejig, maybe?

I'd say include more specifics : what kind of atmosphere you like during sex, any particular kinks or fantasies, any definite no-nos, what you value or dislike in a play partner and your sexual health status. Maybe let a little of your personality shine through, too. Good luck!

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By *negentMan
over a year ago

kirkby

Listen mate youd be better off having a tug than putting up with half the cranks ive met on ere

Be lucky

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By *Carver-Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Listen mate youd be better off having a tug than putting up with half the cranks ive met on ere

Be lucky"

And *there's* the common-or-garden fab single male I was talking about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bruv keep your head up let the sunshine give you some confidence maybe a lil self gratification might help u like you no when you put on some sexy after shave or some slick clothes and u say to yourself i look good today. Once u get ur confidence up u will be unstoppable

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By *nceinawhileCouple
over a year ago

Ipswich

To be honest I've just had a look at your profile and pics I think you look quite nice I wouldn't say you are unattractive at all x (don't panic I am the fem half lol)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem doesn't lie with you, it lies with the site dynamics.

If you're a woman and you're getting hundreds of messages a day, you're going to start skipping them and only respond to ones that really get your attention.

So when the average guy like you or me message these beautiful women and they ignore it or delete and don't reply, it's not because they looked at you as an individual and didn't like what they saw, they just saw you as 'one hundredth single male today'

Of course if you message ten women and they all ignore you, you're going to doubt yourself. Don't.

Be original and just take it on the chin. Appreciate it for what it is and see it as fun. If you get a result, it's a bonus.

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By *nceinawhileCouple
over a year ago

Ipswich

"The problem doesn't lie with you, it lies with the site dynamics.

If you're a woman and you're getting hundreds of messages a day, you're going to start skipping them and only respond to ones that really get your attention.

Of course if you message ten women and they all ignore you, you're going to doubt yourself. Don't.

Be original and just take it on the chin. Appreciate it for what it is and see it as fun. If you get a result, it's a bonus."

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Listen mate youd be better off having a tug than putting up with half the cranks ive met on ere

Be lucky"

Pmsl

Yes it's time to cull the herd.

Not having confidence is not attractive to women.

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By *negentMan
over a year ago

kirkby

"Listen mate youd be better off having a tug than putting up with half the cranks ive met on ere

Be lucky

Pmsl

Yes it's time to cull the herd.

Amen to that

Not having confidence is not attractive to women.

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By *negentMan
over a year ago

kirkby

"Listen mate youd be better off having a tug than putting up with half the cranks ive met on ere

Be lucky

And *there's* the common-or-garden fab single male I was talking about."

And theres the sympathetic bi guy wolf in sympathetic sheeps clothing son

Get some fire in your belly n say fuck this lot im off the pub to fart n play darts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all get our confidence knocked at some point one way or another dude. I have done well in the past but it been quiet for me recently. I'm not an attractive guy, nor am I anything special in any way. If I have a night alone then it's a quiet night. Winner. If i have a lady here then I have a fun night. Again winner. Patience, as no one is to everyones taste. It'll happen soon enough and it will be worth the wait. I haven't so much as had a conversation with a lass on here yet. But I be patient and at somepoint I will click with someone and it will be much more fun.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Its not just all about you guys .. some of us ladies feel lonely too sometimes

... im still looking for that special guy ..

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By *o limits kinkMan
over a year ago

Bethesda

You're brave, honest and open and you can string a sentence together to express yourself.

It'll happen mate. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OK so here goes. Had a few drinks which has given me the bottle to write this lol. No one has ever really found me attractive. Never really had a long term girlfriend. Lost alot of confidence over the years and don't really feel like a real man. Don't get messages on here or on dating sites that I'm on. What am I doing wrong.no ones seems to really bother with me. But I want to change all this probably just committed fab suicide lol oh well just want to see what people's views are "
physically youre definitely attractive, cant see a problem there, could it maybe be your persona? I don't know you so I'm not saying there anything wrong with you, most likely you just haven't found the one yet. youre young, shes out there, don't give up hope just yet!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all of your comments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OK so here goes. Had a few drinks which has given me the bottle to write this lol. No one has ever really found me attractive. Never really had a long term girlfriend. Lost alot of confidence over the years and don't really feel like a real man. Don't get messages on here or on dating sites that I'm on. What am I doing wrong.no ones seems to really bother with me. But I want to change all this probably just committed fab suicide lol oh well just want to see what people's views are physically youre definitely attractive, cant see a problem there, could it maybe be your persona? I don't know you so I'm not saying there anything wrong with you, most likely you just haven't found the one yet. youre young, shes out there, don't give up hope just yet!!"

Totally agree with above comment. OP - your photos show me that you're physically attractive

So here's my advice..... re write your profile so that you're personality comes across a bit more and make sure your face pic is a happy looking photo. Also - go to swingers clubs to socialise, club situations give you ideal opportunities to develop your social skills and gain confidence......and....what other hobbies could you take up that might give you the chance to meet ladies?????? Eg- I met my hubby at a dance classes, we became friends through our shared interests long before we started dating each other . Good luck. M x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just seen this - and yes confidence is attractive to woman as often theirs is in a worse state than ours and on here they are in the driving seat as such they pick and choose and to get a meet well you either have to be a looker to a degree or fill a fantasy (in my opinion)

My advice is go to clubs say hi chat be yourself - don't have a hunter head on and I am sure you will meet people and from there things move - and fun times can come about

Also at clubs you meet people not just profiles - advantages for all

Good luck and remember your belief is your thoughts not that of others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi there

Nothing wrong with what I can see

But, I do notice a self confidence issue in your text and status etc which does scare me off.

I like a bloke who even if not confident can make me read that he is as it puts me at ease and I will happily chat away and see what happens.

It's really hard on here for me, as women we get bombarded and so filter the messages

Don't worry, just have fun and build that confidence

Enjoy

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By *ali 69Man
over a year ago

jersey

Fella , the internet is not the be all and end all . Before Bill Gates and his cyber geeks tried to corner the market on social interaction and sex ....we all met socially and we all still had sex .Find the nearest club , ring them up , go for a social and see where it leads you . Above all relax . Never let the shitty internet make you feel isolated , alone or unatractive .

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By *hy-totCouple
over a year ago

Skellow

"OK so here goes. Had a few drinks which has given me the bottle to write this lol. No one has ever really found me attractive. Never really had a long term girlfriend. Lost alot of confidence over the years and don't really feel like a real man. Don't get messages on here or on dating sites that I'm on. What am I doing wrong.no ones seems to really bother with me. But I want to change all this probably just committed fab suicide lol oh well just want to see what people's views are "
there is someone out there for everyone only a question off time stick with it I no how it feels from mr tot

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Physically, you WILL be attractive to many women but it may be something else that's putting them off and we can only guess what that could be.

May I suggest putting yourself in situations you're not normally in? Join a choir, a social group, find something in your local area that you'd like to try, test your physical limits. These sort of things really boost your feelings of self respect and will support your feelings of confidence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you have a veri for February 2016 so you must have had messages to have met. So what's the problem?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not just you mate. I'm frickin gorgeous! But still women don't want to know! Mind you, there's only 2 within 10 miles of me. Ones my wife and others a lesbian! Ho hum!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Profile needs a revamp.

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By *exycouplemmmmCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

"Bruv keep your head up let the sunshine give you some confidence maybe a lil self gratification might help u like you no when you put on some sexy after shave or some slick clothes and u say to yourself i look good today. Once u get ur confidence up u will be unstoppable "

This is really nice (plus good advice) respect! X

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By *ain4uWoman
over a year ago

dublin

"Fella , the internet is not the be all and end all . Before Bill Gates and his cyber geeks tried to corner the market on social interaction and sex ....we all met socially and we all still had sex .Find the nearest club , ring them up , go for a social and see where it leads you . Above all relax . Never let the shitty internet make you feel isolated , alone or unatractive .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're a decent looking guy, stop being a pussy and go to the gym of you don't like how you look.

Man up and get some aggressive hobbies!

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

"You're a decent looking guy, stop being a pussy and go to the gym of you don't like how you look.

Man up and get some aggressive hobbies!"

..... huh????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're a decent looking guy, stop being a pussy and go to the gym of you don't like how you look.

Man up and get some aggressive hobbies!"

Seriously?!?!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"You're a decent looking guy, stop being a pussy and go to the gym of you don't like how you look.

Man up and get some aggressive hobbies!

Seriously?!?! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're a decent looking guy, stop being a pussy and go to the gym of you don't like how you look.

Man up and get some aggressive hobbies!"

Being aggressive doesn't make you a better man. OP, I messaged you and would have met you a couple of years back but I never heard back from you when I gave you my number so assumed you weren't interested. I feel from reading a lot of your threads that you lack confidence which we all tend to do at times but this site can either make that better or tear you apart. You are a nice looking guy so try to work on your confidence a little.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get yourself to some socials and clubs keep posting in forums get yourself noticed and don't take site too serious treat it as a laugh send messages but don't expect replies that way when you get one happy days and if you don't you aren't dissapointed be tailor messages to profiles and be cheeky with innuendo but not full on and meets will happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Listen mate youd be better off having a tug than putting up with half the cranks ive met on ere

Be lucky"

Not very helpful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're a decent looking guy, stop being a pussy and go to the gym of you don't like how you look.

Man up and get some aggressive hobbies!"

Wow!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try some of the Clubs. As has been said there you will be a human being not a Profile. You will get a human contact who can see you in a true light. Not just a name on a computer screen

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Positivity works well O.P.

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By *ettyboop61Woman
over a year ago

St Neots

me too I'm always alone....but I try and show that I'm a happy bunny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is one very simple truth in life that I have learnt from experience - you have to learn to love yourself first - not in a big-headed way but once you do that your inner confidence will improve and that will then shine to others - good luck OP - try it - it works honestly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm a happy person. But yeah do lack a bit of confidence in myself I guess. Thanks again for all your nice messages to. I do appreciate it x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So you have a veri for February 2016 so you must have had messages to have met. So what's the problem? "

I have a very. I met her on her old profile. She varied me when she signed back up I've known her for ages

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Forget fab and dating sites, get out and about in your local pubs and practice smiling and saying hi to passing women in normal places like supermarkets etc.

Once you stop actively chasing women you'll probably find you meet someone through normal life

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

I have been on fab meeting guys for five years. When I was ready for a relationship, one popped up. I used it to scratch an itch ... and because I didn't want anyone in my face or in my life. The way I use fab now is totally different. I think you need to make it work for you and what you want op, but its important that you don't live your fab life as your real life ....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have been on fab meeting guys for five years. When I was ready for a relationship, one popped up. I used it to scratch an itch ... and because I didn't want anyone in my face or in my life. The way I use fab now is totally different. I think you need to make it work for you and what you want op, but its important that you don't live your fab life as your real life ...."
I am trying to work out how it will work for me

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