FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Introductions

Profile Advice and Message Replying!!

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

First off, I'd like some advice and critique from you lovely Fabbers on my profile. Currently I'm in an extended dry rut, and though I'd like to think that it happens to all the best of us I'm increasingly thinking if it's something to do with me, or my profile I'm presenting here.

Secondly, I'd like to ask you lot, how do you handle "been read" messages? Is there a boundary regarding trying to message again to follow up and see if it's a "yes" or "no"? I'm not talking about profiles that explicitly say "no replies means no". I have messaged a couple of potential people I'd like to meet but they've just read my messages and left it at that. So I'm just nervous at not wanting to look like a typical single guy being a pushy dick, but I don't want to feel like not pushing hard enough means letting a chance slip away! I meet all the requirements on their profiles so I'm not sure what the issue is.

Hope to hear your words here!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"First off, I'd like some advice and critique from you lovely Fabbers on my profile. Currently I'm in an extended dry rut, and though I'd like to think that it happens to all the best of us I'm increasingly thinking if it's something to do with me, or my profile I'm presenting here.

Secondly, I'd like to ask you lot, how do you handle "been read" messages? Is there a boundary regarding trying to message again to follow up and see if it's a "yes" or "no"? I'm not talking about profiles that explicitly say "no replies means no". I have messaged a couple of potential people I'd like to meet but they've just read my messages and left it at that. So I'm just nervous at not wanting to look like a typical single guy being a pushy dick, but I don't want to feel like not pushing hard enough means letting a chance slip away! I meet all the requirements on their profiles so I'm not sure what the issue is.

Hope to hear your words here! "

Hiya!!

Hope you're ok!

I dont think your pics are good. One is ok.

Your profile seems friendly and quite good. Although it is a touch too sexual in areas.

I like the honest bit and I think a lot of women will warm to that. Contrary to popular belief, there is a high proportion of women who won't give a fuck about the size of your cock. Personality is far more important to most women I know.

Take out some of the sex talk, and get yourself some better pictures. Clear pictures with light. Clear backgrounds.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

Oh, and regarding "not read" messages: Send a message and leave it.

If a woman can't be arsed to take a few seconds to reply to my messages, I'd wouldn't message her again.

If I find her particularly attractive, I sometimes wait until a day after, then block her so that I don't accidentally message her again in the future.

Please please do not beg!!! Us guys are worth more than that!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately, if they read, but don't answer it usually means theyre not interested.

With a couple, one may have read it, and is waiting for the other to take a look. The sad truth is that nobody likes saying 'no'. So many people just don't bother to respond. Single ladies are literally BOMBARDED with 100's of messages per day,(no exaggeration) so they simply can't answer all of them.

Multiple pestering messages will slam the door shut on any chance you may have. The system will warn you if you try to send a message to somebody who did not answer your last message.

Oh and HUUUUUGE tip for single guys. I can't stress this enough...for Fuck's sake, Read the entire profile BEFORE you write them. Be thoughtful, include something from their profile that you noticed (other than her tits). Use their names when you address them, if its a couple, address both of them not just her. Oh and don't ask to play with her solo, unless the profile already says they do.

Sometimes ladies are so fed up with us guys blundering about that they put a simple detail in their profile-- near the bottom, that they expect to see in your response. It's a test. And it'll say something like "put the word " pink" in your subject line"-- and its an instant disqualified if you don't.

You need to engage her mind, before they'll let you engage her pussy.

Just my 2 cents.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh, and regarding "not read" messages: Send a message and leave it.

If a woman can't be arsed to take a few seconds to reply to my messages, I'd wouldn't message her again.

If I find her particularly attractive, I sometimes wait until a day after, then block her so that I don't accidentally message her again in the future.

Please please do not beg!!! Us guys are worth more than that!"

here here that man

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unfortunately, if they read, but don't answer it usually means theyre not interested.

With a couple, one may have read it, and is waiting for the other to take a look. The sad truth is that nobody likes saying 'no'. So many people just don't bother to respond. Single ladies are literally BOMBARDED with 100's of messages per day,(no exaggeration) so they simply can't answer all of them.

Multiple pestering messages will slam the door shut on any chance you may have. The system will warn you if you try to send a message to somebody who did not answer your last message.

Oh and HUUUUUGE tip for single guys. I can't stress this enough...for Fuck's sake, Read the entire profile BEFORE you write them. Be thoughtful, include something from their profile that you noticed (other than her tits). Use their names when you address them, if its a couple, address both of them not just her. Oh and don't ask to play with her solo, unless the profile already says they do.

Sometimes ladies are so fed up with us guys blundering about that they put a simple detail in their profile-- near the bottom, that they expect to see in your response. It's a test. And it'll say something like "put the word " pink" in your subject line"-- and its an instant disqualified if you don't.

You need to engage her mind, before they'll let you engage her pussy.

Just my 2 cents."

good valid argument there women don't like to be treat as just sex objects but with respect has a person and they should be treat accordingly , you get nowhere if is is a fuck and go

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

If only some ladies saw this thread.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"If only some ladies saw this thread.

"

Well many ladies and couples have written this sdame advice over and over, so they've no need to see it...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irty Girty From No 30Woman
over a year ago

Burbage


"If only some ladies saw this thread.

"

Im a lady and saw this thread

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aughtyxWoman
over a year ago

stockport


"If only some ladies saw this thread.

"

I saw the thread

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland

It's not about not been arsed to reply to messages, it's about using our time on the site to chat to people we choose to meet, or do our own searching, and expect people to understand site rules that state no reply = not interested and not have a sense of entitlement.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

If leave it if they don't respond.

I'm really not trying to suck up to women here, but it's not that can't be "arsed" in most cases.

Blokes tend to think they're the only one who send them a message. Actually, we're not. Try saying "sorry, no thanks" 20,30,40 times a day, every. I wouldn't be "arsed" doing that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone messages me and they haven't read my profile as in they are not local to me for example I will usually reply if I get time to - but do think sometimes why should I bother replying as they've not bothered checking my profile to see if they remotely meet what I'm looking for. I do get a few compliments about my pics and will always reply thanking them for that as they are always lovely to get.

So I always say read the profile before messaging to check do I even remotely match what they are looking for.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for all the kind words. I'll be putting some new pictures up in the near future as per advice given by some of you.

As to the people I've messaged I always look through their profiles first before even deciding to message them if I'm interested. I am not one of those guys who basically throws a wide net and hopes to catch one or two ladies. And on the issue of local meets, I am no sure how that would be an issue if I am able and willing to travel to meet whoever I'm interested in near theirs. Accommodation could easily be solved with a nice hotel or at theirs if they want it. I feel the issue of "local meets" is because people are worried they'd be made fools of by people who arrange to meet from far away but don't turn up. So how do I convince people that I'm genuine about it? Those profiles I've messaged also didn't specify any mile limits or "local only" for their prospective meets.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

As for an entitlement mentality I don't think that expecting a reply or at least some sign is too much to ask. Just as I am not entitled to meet anyone I choose to message people aren't entitled to just read and ignore without showing a yes or no response either. If you're not keen delete my message and we can all go our merry ways. If I'm to be put on future plans tell me so. If you are like some profiles that have read my messages and looked at my profile multiple times but didn't bother replying then what am I supposed to guess?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No reply means no thank you.. It really is that simple

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"Thanks for all the kind words. I'll be putting some new pictures up in the near future as per advice given by some of you.

As to the people I've messaged I always look through their profiles first before even deciding to message them if I'm interested. I am not one of those guys who basically throws a wide net and hopes to catch one or two ladies. And on the issue of local meets, I am no sure how that would be an issue if I am able and willing to travel to meet whoever I'm interested in near theirs. Accommodation could easily be solved with a nice hotel or at theirs if they want it. I feel the issue of "local meets" is because people are worried they'd be made fools of by people who arrange to meet from far away but don't turn up. So how do I convince people that I'm genuine about it? Those profiles I've messaged also didn't specify any mile limits or "local only" for their prospective meets. "

To answer that question, very simply, you dont!

Don't try convince any woman that you are genuine. Let her decide for herself. Be passive.

Don't worry about distance, etc. Deal with that as and when.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"As for an entitlement mentality I don't think that expecting a reply or at least some sign is too much to ask. Just as I am not entitled to meet anyone I choose to message people aren't entitled to just read and ignore without showing a yes or no response either. If you're not keen delete my message and we can all go our merry ways. If I'm to be put on future plans tell me so. If you are like some profiles that have read my messages and looked at my profile multiple times but didn't bother replying then what am I supposed to guess? "

Do me a favour then come and answer all my 356 unread messages while running round after 3 kids aged 3 and under and holding down a full time job, and other vanilla commitments, while you receive more messages on top of trying to reply to the 356, when you are also only limited to only sending 100 messages a day (if not a site supporter)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"As for an entitlement mentality I don't think that expecting a reply or at least some sign is too much to ask. Just as I am not entitled to meet anyone I choose to message people aren't entitled to just read and ignore without showing a yes or no response either. If you're not keen delete my message and we can all go our merry ways. If I'm to be put on future plans tell me so. If you are like some profiles that have read my messages and looked at my profile multiple times but didn't bother replying then what am I supposed to guess? "

A lot of men have this issue. Me included, I see ignorance as rude. It's just the way we have been brought up. It's our culture.

If you've read the profile and write a custom message and take your time, it's annoying. I sometimes block them so that I don't waste my time again.

Just accept that fab is different to the real world. Ladies get a lot of messages and quite simply, a lot don't want to (and aren't obliged to) reply. Some do reply though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

With regards to people wanting local meets, the fact that you can travel is irrelevant. If the lady really likes you and would enjoy regular repeats that is fine if you are 10 miles up the road. A couple of hours free and you can have some fun. But of it takes an hour to get there, then that would not work out. It depends of people are looking for one offs, or repeat meets if it's good.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff


"As for an entitlement mentality I don't think that expecting a reply or at least some sign is too much to ask. Just as I am not entitled to meet anyone I choose to message people aren't entitled to just read and ignore without showing a yes or no response either. If you're not keen delete my message and we can all go our merry ways. If I'm to be put on future plans tell me so. If you are like some profiles that have read my messages and looked at my profile multiple times but didn't bother replying then what am I supposed to guess? "

You're seriously over-thinking no reply/no deletion thing. Saying you're "entitled" to a reply or deletion doesn't sound too good tbh. No-one is, it's even in the site rules.

Imagine you have a life, a family, a job and you get 30/40 messages a day. It'd be a right pain managing that and deleting them one by one as you go along. I suspect most women whizz through them, leave the ones they're not interested in, eventually deal with the ones they are, then delete all in one go, or do a block delete. It can mean that you message hangs around for quite a while. It's probably the way I'd do it too.

You'll drive yourself bonkers trying to read the mind of a woman who's looked but not done anything with the message. There's simply no way of knowing. Some guys might possibly send a "I know you didn't reply, but I'm just checking...." After some time. Personally, I'd leave it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delete all your sent mail as soon as you've sent it then get on with your life. I never worry about it, life really is too short !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

To add to this though, there are ways to better your chances when sending messages.

Research principles of marketing against a mass of competition, etc. There are hundreds of articles online about it from companies who have invested millions of pounds in research! Research marketing for women, or whatever.

You'll see that there are some brilliant ways to capture attention and stir up interest.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"With regards to people wanting local meets, the fact that you can travel is irrelevant. If the lady really likes you and would enjoy regular repeats that is fine if you are 10 miles up the road. A couple of hours free and you can have some fun. But of it takes an hour to get there, then that would not work out. It depends of people are looking for one offs, or repeat meets if it's good.

"

My sentiments exactly !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland


"Delete all your sent mail as soon as you've sent it then get on with your life. I never worry about it, life really is too short !"

Exactly this, no one is entitled to a reply, and shouldn't expect one, send and delete, if they want to reply they will.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"If only some ladies saw this thread.

Im a lady and saw this thread"

Me too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Site rules

Site rules

Site rules!

Ffs! It states very clearly, a no reply is a polite no thanks!!!!!

Send the messages and forget about them! If you get a hit, great, good for you!

I don't care if I fit the criteria of a hundred men, I may not be what they like , looks wise, I may have too many veris! Who cares!

Move on to the next person to message!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top