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By *eliever OP   Man
over a year ago

n

Hey guys,

ive been on and off this site many times over the years and im not on here to moan about why im not getting replies.

if people dont like me, they dont like me and I can live with that.

Im here to add a polite request to the people who dont reply, would it be possible to reply with a thanks but no thanks. Personally, I will respect your decision and leave it at that. I wonder if this will reduce the chances of people getting multiple emails off the same people when theyre not interested and stop wasting everyones time?

For the guys who cant take rejection, there is always the block button?

is this something that has been requested before? And has it worked.

Cheers

jon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you read the FAQ section, it specifically States that no reply means no interest. Some people if they replied to all mail would never be able to have a conversation with people they actually want to.

With the block button the flip side is, if someone doesn't reply to you, you can use it to to eliminate them from your searching

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

You've been on and off the site many times and not read FAQs? Tsk!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take a no reply as someone not being interested.

And that's fine with me, certainly don't need them to explain theirselves.

I'd advise against blocking though, as just recently ... I met someone who I had previously messaged before with no reply and it turns out my message was part of a mass delete moment. She did apologize, as she puts it "Sometimes the diamonds slip through your fingers"

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"I take a no reply as someone not being interested.

And that's fine with me, certainly don't need them to explain theirselves.

I'd advise against blocking though, as just recently ... I met someone who I had previously messaged before with no reply and it turns out my message was part of a mass delete moment. She did apologize, as she puts it "Sometimes the diamonds slip through your fingers" "

Well in this case there was no such danger because it was a mass delete and not a block, which usually follows persistent and irritating re-messaging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to request the site owners put in big bold letters that all site members read FAQs on signing up and must tick a box to state you have read and understood

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By *eliever OP   Man
over a year ago

n

I personally do take a no reply as a not interested but as is often the case, many message go without being read and therefore possibly mising out on the chance of meeting socially or otherwise. In which case, is it acceptable to message again?

This was a polite request to ask if it is worthy of change to improve the communication between members and reduce the frustration from all parties. Women and couples seem to be bombarded with messages, often multiple messages from the same men, and most men dont get replies because the other parties "arent interested"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reply to everyone who has read my profile.. match my requirements and I match there's

I do not feel obliged to reply to any one else

I use what time I have to look for people of interest and reply to those that I've described above. And also chat in forums... The rest of my free time I use to meet. If I replied to everyone that messaged I would never have the time to use the site as I feel is best for me.

I delete and block.. Saves repeated messages and abuse

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By *ivnwcplCouple
over a year ago

liverpool


"I personally do take a no reply as a not interested but as is often the case, many message go without being read and therefore possibly mising out on the chance of meeting socially or otherwise. In which case, is it acceptable to message again?

This was a polite request to ask if it is worthy of change to improve the communication between members and reduce the frustration from all parties. Women and couples seem to be bombarded with messages, often multiple messages from the same men, and most men dont get replies because the other parties "arent interested"

"

Just because the message has not been read does not mean they have not checked out your profile and have just decided there's no point it reading your message or replying with a no-thanks, basically a no-reply whether the message is read or not means not interested, just block them and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think because it so commonly spread around the forums that mass delete happens quite frequently....It goes to reason that people will message again. Fab you simply prevent a re-message in such cases, however I think fab owners know how that would effect fab.Yes they say if you don't get a message back then assume they're not interested, but they don't actually want that to be as black and white or they would put that second message block in place. Then those of you who get so many messages wouldn't and problem solved. BUT....

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff


"Hey guys,

ive been on and off this site many times over the years and im not on here to moan about why im not getting replies.

if people dont like me, they dont like me and I can live with that.

Im here to add a polite request to the people who dont reply, would it be possible to reply with a thanks but no thanks. Personally, I will respect your decision and leave it at that. I wonder if this will reduce the chances of people getting multiple emails off the same people when theyre not interested and stop wasting everyones time?

For the guys who cant take rejection, there is always the block button?

is this something that has been requested before? And has it worked.

Cheers

jon"

Some women get so many messages though. My friend gets at least 30 most days. Say 25 are "no thanks" ones. it'd be tedious as hell and time consuming to open up all of them and paste "no thanks" that many times. Or half that many times tbh. She has got a (busy) life.

She definitely gets a use when she does politely reply too.

Not trying to brown nose - I simply I remember the shock of seeing her messages the first time she showed me (both the number and content)!

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

Sorry - *abuse*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They get millions of emails a day, it would take all day to say no to everyone lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont get "millions" lol i just choose not to reply, im fed up with abuse and the constant but i will make it worth your while replies so now i just dont reply, i never asked for the unsolicited mail either do you reply to all the junk mail you receive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont get "millions" lol i just choose not to reply, im fed up with abuse and the constant but i will make it worth your while replies so now i just dont reply, i never asked for the unsolicited mail either do you reply to all the junk mail you receive?"
Yeah I guess it is different from women there, if you mean me, it would take 1 min to check as my inbox is empty most of the time lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I personally do take a no reply as a not interested but as is often the case, many message go without being read and therefore possibly mising out on the chance of meeting socially or otherwise. In which case, is it acceptable to message again?

This was a polite request to ask if it is worthy of change to improve the communication between members and reduce the frustration from all parties. Women and couples seem to be bombarded with messages, often multiple messages from the same men, and most men dont get replies because the other parties "arent interested"

"

Unless you have been told they are not interested - and you are not blocked, then there is no hard trying a few weeks/months later.

Thats our take on things when people dont reply to us. Even "friends" we have met and played with dont always respond to messages.

Life gets in the way sometimes.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I choose to reply to everyone unless it's a 'fancy a fuck' or similar message.

There's no obligation to respond to everyone. As has been said, it's in the FAQs and clearly states that no reply should be taken as the person is not interested. It's not rude, you don't respond to junk mail that comes through your letterbox do you?

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"I dont get "millions" lol i just choose not to reply, im fed up with abuse and the constant but i will make it worth your while replies so now i just dont reply, i never asked for the unsolicited mail either do you reply to all the junk mail you receive?"

I think that sums up the problem in a nutshell.

It's no use saying "but I'm always polite when I message" ...

Individual instances of a polite reply to rejection don't change the simple fact that most guys don't handle rejection well, and it's that collective experience that really counts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont get "millions" lol i just choose not to reply, im fed up with abuse and the constant but i will make it worth your while replies so now i just dont reply, i never asked for the unsolicited mail either do you reply to all the junk mail you receive?Yeah I guess it is different from women there, if you mean me, it would take 1 min to check as my inbox is empty most of the time lol."

Sorry i meant the OP, i used your millions part though lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I joined I did reply saying polite no thanks but found that 80% then queried as to why???? It prolonged any discussion and I ended up blocking as a few simply couldn't take no for an answer....I also would get replies inferring I was arrogant and too picky, etc. My policy now is not to reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd get a couple new ones most days and about 5 to 10 from friends. We chat and have a bit of banter and or meet if free. I will always reply, even a thank youfor messaging but I busy or can I message back soon. If Ii message anyone and don't get a reply I simply block. I've too many to count now. It saves both being bothered when there's no interest shown. There are many more and new or returns joining every day....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/01/16 14:11:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont get "millions" lol i just choose not to reply, im fed up with abuse and the constant but i will make it worth your while replies so now i just dont reply, i never asked for the unsolicited mail either do you reply to all the junk mail you receive?

I think that sums up the problem in a nutshell.

It's no use saying "but I'm always polite when I message" ...

Individual instances of a polite reply to rejection don't change the simple fact that most guys don't handle rejection well, and it's that collective experience that really counts."

Nor do women....there's hormones being hit by the fan on the forums today.... It's like WW3

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"When I joined I did reply saying polite no thanks but found that 80% then queried as to why???? It prolonged any discussion and I ended up blocking as a few simply couldn't take no for an answer....I also would get replies inferring I was arrogant and too picky, etc. My policy now is not to reply."

It depends how you answer... I can truthfully say 'thanks but I'm not meeting at the moment but have fun X' so there's really no comeback to that other than perhaps a request to keep them in mind if it changes. I shall forever use that line because not once have I had an abusive response from it.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"

Nor do women....there's hormones being hit by the fan on the forums today.... It's like WW3"

I'd hardly say it's like WW3.

Up to now the conversation here has been very controlled and reasonable

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"Hey guys,

ive been on and off this site many times over the years and im not on here to moan about why im not getting replies.

if people dont like me, they dont like me and I can live with that.

Im here to add a polite request to the people who dont reply, would it be possible to reply with a thanks but no thanks. Personally, I will respect your decision and leave it at that. I wonder if this will reduce the chances of people getting multiple emails off the same people when theyre not interested and stop wasting everyones time?

For the guys who cant take rejection, there is always the block button?

is this something that has been requested before? And has it worked.

Cheers

jon"

I totally agree with you fella!

I find it very rude myself and I can take rejection perfectly well.

I'd much prefer a 'no' rather than being ignored.

People are saying about the faq. I've read the faq and understand it. The thing is thiugh is that in our culture, it is offensive to ignore a person.

On this site, you need to pretend that women do not know about these cultural values.

A lot of women are actually respectful but they just get too many messages to reply to.

But I feel for you. I also feel the same way. Just suck it up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont get "millions" lol i just choose not to reply, im fed up with abuse and the constant but i will make it worth your while replies so now i just dont reply, i never asked for the unsolicited mail either do you reply to all the junk mail you receive?Yeah I guess it is different from women there, if you mean me, it would take 1 min to check as my inbox is empty most of the time lol.

Sorry i meant the OP, i used your millions part though lol"
lol I see and that is good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Nor do women....there's hormones being hit by the fan on the forums today.... It's like WW3

I'd hardly say it's like WW3.

Up to now the conversation here has been very controlled and reasonable"

Was not referring to this thread...there's been a big rumbling across the forums recently on this issue...pops it head in unrelated posts often and even hijacks posts. It's a big issue and needs delt with.

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

Just got a text back from my friend. 17 messages today so far. She's not interested in 14 of them, particularly as most haven't read the profile.

"**** that " was the reply when I asked whether she was going to send 14 "no thanks" messages and more later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try and reply unless the message is really crap. But it does annoy me when guys who clearly don't match my criteria message me, and then I have to take the time to reply.

If they can't be arsed to read my profile, should I be parsed to send a no thanks message?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Nor do women....there's hormones being hit by the fan on the forums today.... It's like WW3

I'd hardly say it's like WW3.

Up to now the conversation here has been very controlled and reasonable

Was not referring to this thread...there's been a big rumbling across the forums recently on this issue...pops it head in unrelated posts often and even hijacks posts. It's a big issue and needs delt with."

No it just needs people to accept that a no reply is a no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK.. I have had around 20 messages today off people that haven't read profile..some of whom I do not match what THEY are looking for... Why should I take the time replying to them?

The rest want to meet now... And my profile clearly states I'm not meeting anyone new right now

Why should I reply to them?

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"

Nor do women....there's hormones being hit by the fan on the forums today.... It's like WW3

I'd hardly say it's like WW3.

Up to now the conversation here has been very controlled and reasonable

Was not referring to this thread...there's been a big rumbling across the forums recently on this issue...pops it head in unrelated posts often and even hijacks posts. It's a big issue and needs delt with.

No it just needs people to accept that a no reply is a no "

It's not that easy hun. If you imagine that you're messaging people and you're putting effort into it and trying, when the person can't be bothered to say 'no', it can be seen as offensive.

Whether the faq says it is or it's not, our cultural values seem to stick!

In reality, men (including me) just need to suck it up and move on.

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"OK.. I have had around 20 messages today off people that haven't read profile..some of whom I do not match what THEY are looking for... Why should I take the time replying to them?

The rest want to meet now... And my profile clearly states I'm not meeting anyone new right now

Why should I reply to them? "

I totally see where you're coming from. In your position, I'd probably do the same.

It's a bit of a catch 22 situation but it's just reality isn't it.

Men stop writing good messages because women ignore them.

Women ignore men even more when men put no effort in.

Eventually a man thinks that since women are going to ignore, there is no point in reading or putting effort into it.

Not all men ofcourse.

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By *r H and Good PetCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

OP seems to think that just because he doesn't take "no reply" as a "no" (even though, as evident here, most people do - it's even in the FAQ), everyone needs to instigate this "reply to all messages" practice.

Even if it would take hours every day, as I'm sure it would some people.

Everyone putting in that effort is more efficient than people just accepting "no reply" = "no thanks"?

And the argument that it cuts down on multiple messages from the same sender is a falsehood. I do actually reply to every message. But have still had guys repeatedly message me (often with the same cut and paste message). So, no. Replying a "no thanks" doesn't prevent that.

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By *r H and Good PetCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham


"OK.. I have had around 20 messages today off people that haven't read profile..some of whom I do not match what THEY are looking for... Why should I take the time replying to them?

The rest want to meet now... And my profile clearly states I'm not meeting anyone new right now

Why should I reply to them? "

^This!

Why should a receiver put effort in replying when the sender doesn't?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Nor do women....there's hormones being hit by the fan on the forums today.... It's like WW3

I'd hardly say it's like WW3.

Up to now the conversation here has been very controlled and reasonable

Was not referring to this thread...there's been a big rumbling across the forums recently on this issue...pops it head in unrelated posts often and even hijacks posts. It's a big issue and needs delt with.

No it just needs people to accept that a no reply is a no

It's not that easy hun. If you imagine that you're messaging people and you're putting effort into it and trying, when the person can't be bothered to say 'no', it can be seen as offensive.

Whether the faq says it is or it's not, our cultural values seem to stick!

In reality, men (including me) just need to suck it up and move on."

But it is that Easy

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"

Nor do women....there's hormones being hit by the fan on the forums today.... It's like WW3

I'd hardly say it's like WW3.

Up to now the conversation here has been very controlled and reasonable

Was not referring to this thread...there's been a big rumbling across the forums recently on this issue...pops it head in unrelated posts often and even hijacks posts. It's a big issue and needs delt with.

No it just needs people to accept that a no reply is a no

It's not that easy hun. If you imagine that you're messaging people and you're putting effort into it and trying, when the person can't be bothered to say 'no', it can be seen as offensive.

Whether the faq says it is or it's not, our cultural values seem to stick!

In reality, men (including me) just need to suck it up and move on.

But it is that Easy"

Is it?

Have you ever tried messaging lots of people and reading lots of profiles, putting effort into them, with 90% of them being deleted? Have you ever tried doing it most days? Have you ever tried doing it most days for a long time?

That is what it is like for a lot of men on here, especially new guys. It takes a mental toll on them and makes them feel rejected!

Trust me, it's not as easy as you make out! Women will never trully know how hard it is for men on here because women are very much in demand.

Not that I'm moaning as such or siding with him but I totally understand what this guy is saying.

At the end of the day, it's reality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reply to all first messages because I think it's rude not to. It's not difficult and 99.9% of the time people are lovely. I don't reply to "why" replies because there's no point.

It's incredibly simple to limit mail. But we all know why some women don't use those tools...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I personally do take a no reply as a not interested but as is often the case, many message go without being read and therefore possibly mising out on the chance of meeting socially or otherwise. In which case, is it acceptable to message again?

This was a polite request to ask if it is worthy of change to improve the communication between members and reduce the frustration from all parties. Women and couples seem to be bombarded with messages, often multiple messages from the same men, and most men dont get replies because the other parties "arent interested"

"

How would that "improve communication?"

"Hey, fancy a fuck"

"No thank you."

Not a great improvement.

No reply = Not interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Nor do women....there's hormones being hit by the fan on the forums today.... It's like WW3

I'd hardly say it's like WW3.

Up to now the conversation here has been very controlled and reasonable

Was not referring to this thread...there's been a big rumbling across the forums recently on this issue...pops it head in unrelated posts often and even hijacks posts. It's a big issue and needs delt with.

No it just needs people to accept that a no reply is a no

It's not that easy hun. If you imagine that you're messaging people and you're putting effort into it and trying, when the person can't be bothered to say 'no', it can be seen as offensive.

Whether the faq says it is or it's not, our cultural values seem to stick!

In reality, men (including me) just need to suck it up and move on.

But it is that Easy

Is it?

Have you ever tried messaging lots of people and reading lots of profiles, putting effort into them, with 90% of them being deleted? Have you ever tried doing it most days? Have you ever tried doing it most days for a long time?

That is what it is like for a lot of men on here, especially new guys. It takes a mental toll on them and makes them feel rejected!

Trust me, it's not as easy as you make out! Women will never trully know how hard it is for men on here because women are very much in demand.

Not that I'm moaning as such or siding with him but I totally understand what this guy is saying.

At the end of the day, it's reality."

I totally agree. Why spend time composing decent messages when they will just get deleted or ignored?!

If all the women and couples actually got off their arses and went looking, the site would be a very different place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I read profiles and send messages... If I replied to everyone who didn't read mine then I wouldn't have Time to

And the meets I have had have been mainly instigated from a first message from me

Thing Is.. I take time to read profiles and make sure they are what I'm looking for and I am what they are looking for.

I don't see that I am not what they are looking for but then message anyway.. And expect a reply

Reality is you have joind a site that clearly states that you should take a no reply as a not interested...... I also have this stated in my profile... Just so everyone is clear.. For those that bother to read it

I have also been on site as part of a couple and have single male friends from vanilla land that are on here... So yes I see every side..

Also.. . for instance If I was on forum and someone replied to my inbox.. I would refer them back to the thread to continue conversation if I did not wish to meet.. as I use inbox for people I want to meet only... If they then continued to message me privately I would then block them.

People that moan, write statuses about people not replying or have written in there profile insisting on a reply get blocked if they have sent me a message or not as they are not the type of people I want to meet

If someone has took the time to read profile and in age range etc then I will of course reply even if I'm not attracted to them.. Unless the message makes me cringe

Everyone is differ on how they handle their inbox... But at the end of the day you have joind this site.. At least follow rules

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

I understand that.

But it's very different for men.

If you imagine walking in the street and saying hi to people and 90% of them completely blank you, you'd probably be quite offended.

If somebody said to you; "well didn't you know that ignoring just means that they aren't interested?" I'm sure it wouldn't console you too much!

It's an extreme illustration, but I think it demonstrates how a lot of men see it.

At the end of the day though, it's reality. Women cannot realistically reply to every message. Men continue to be frustrated. It's the way it is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And on the flip side... What would men expect from a woman in the street If he walked up lashed his cock out and said fancy a fuck now

Anyway... Off to send some messages

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"And on the flip side... What would men expect from a woman in the street If he walked up lashed his cock out and said fancy a fuck now

Anyway... Off to send some messages

"

Yes. You're right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

That is what it is like for a lot of men on here, especially new guys. It takes a mental toll on them and makes them feel rejected!

Trust me, it's not as easy as you make out! Women will never trully know how hard it is for men on here because women are very much in demand.

"

But we're her to fulfil our own needs, not out of altruism or to perform some sort of public service to stroke the ego of people we're uninterested in entering into dialogue with...

Why would we spend time interacting with people we have no interest in when that time could be better spent with people we are? Would you really prefer an inbox full of rejection? We wouldn't-no response means they're not interested...it really is a simple as that

people would be far better served and enjoy their experience more here if they just concentrated on their inbox rather than their outbox...

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"I understand that.

But it's very different for men.

If you imagine walking in the street and saying hi to people and 90% of them completely blank you, you'd probably be quite offended.

If somebody said to you; "well didn't you know that ignoring just means that they aren't interested?" I'm sure it wouldn't console you too much!

It's an extreme illustration, but I think it demonstrates how a lot of men see it.

At the end of the day though, it's reality. Women cannot realistically reply to every message. Men continue to be frustrated. It's the way it is!"

Well in this extreme example, you did at least get acknowledged by 10%, so perhaps it would be best to focus on them, rather than fret about the 90% who ignored you.

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By *r H and Good PetCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Have you ever tried messaging lots of people and reading lots of profiles, putting effort into them, with 90% of them being deleted? Have you ever tried doing it most days? Have you ever tried doing it most days for a long time?

That is what it is like for a lot of men on here, especially new guys. It takes a mental toll on them and makes them feel rejected!

Trust me, it's not as easy as you make out! Women will never trully know how hard it is for men on here because women are very much in demand.

Not that I'm moaning as such or siding with him but I totally understand what this guy is saying.

At the end of the day, it's reality."

Have you ever received 60-150 messages in a single day? Have you ever received it most days? Have you ever received most days for a long time?

That is what it is like for a lot of women on here, especially new women. It takes a mental toll on them and makes them feel hounded!

Men will never trully know how hard it is for women on here because women are very much in demand.

Not that I'm moaning as such or siding against him but I totally reject what this guy is saying.

At the end of the day, it's reality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever tried messaging lots of people and reading lots of profiles, putting effort into them, with 90% of them being deleted? Have you ever tried doing it most days? Have you ever tried doing it most days for a long time?

That is what it is like for a lot of men on here, especially new guys. It takes a mental toll on them and makes them feel rejected!

Trust me, it's not as easy as you make out! Women will never trully know how hard it is for men on here because women are very much in demand.

Not that I'm moaning as such or siding with him but I totally understand what this guy is saying.

At the end of the day, it's reality.

Have you ever received 60-150 messages in a single day? Have you ever received it most days? Have you ever received most days for a long time?

That is what it is like for a lot of women on here, especially new women. It takes a mental toll on them and makes them feel hounded!

Men will never trully know how hard it is for women on here because women are very much in demand.

Not that I'm moaning as such or siding against him but I totally reject what this guy is saying.

At the end of the day, it's reality."

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"Have you ever tried messaging lots of people and reading lots of profiles, putting effort into them, with 90% of them being deleted? Have you ever tried doing it most days? Have you ever tried doing it most days for a long time?

That is what it is like for a lot of men on here, especially new guys. It takes a mental toll on them and makes them feel rejected!

Trust me, it's not as easy as you make out! Women will never trully know how hard it is for men on here because women are very much in demand.

Not that I'm moaning as such or siding with him but I totally understand what this guy is saying.

At the end of the day, it's reality.

Have you ever received 60-150 messages in a single day? Have you ever received it most days? Have you ever received most days for a long time?

That is what it is like for a lot of women on here, especially new women. It takes a mental toll on them and makes them feel hounded!

Men will never trully know how hard it is for women on here because women are very much in demand.

Not that I'm moaning as such or siding against him but I totally reject what this guy is saying.

At the end of the day, it's reality."

I saw what you did there....

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

If you read all of my messages - not just my last one, you'd see that I agree with you!

;)

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"

That is what it is like for a lot of men on here, especially new guys. It takes a mental toll on them and makes them feel rejected!

Trust me, it's not as easy as you make out! Women will never trully know how hard it is for men on here because women are very much in demand.

But we're her to fulfil our own needs, not out of altruism or to perform some sort of public service to stroke the ego of people we're uninterested in entering into dialogue with...

Why would we spend time interacting with people we have no interest in when that time could be better spent with people we are? Would you really prefer an inbox full of rejection? We wouldn't-no response means they're not interested...it really is a simple as that

people would be far better served and enjoy their experience more here if they just concentrated on their inbox rather than their outbox..."

And I agree with this too!

You can't force anyone to reply to messages...

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By *r H and Good PetCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham


"If you read all of my messages - not just my last one, you'd see that I agree with you!

;)"

I know.

I'm just putting the other side of the story up there. Since you didn't think a lot of women really understood the experience of men, I thought it'd be useful to put the experience of women into perspective too.

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"If you read all of my messages - not just my last one, you'd see that I agree with you!

;)

I know.

I'm just putting the other side of the story up there. Since you didn't think a lot of women really understood the experience of men, I thought it'd be useful to put the experience of women into perspective too. "

Fair enough!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From reading through the responses here I think what comes to light is that there seem to be two types of guys here and I think the women seem bundle them together. Thise who junk mail and those who dont. In this forum the guys seem to be those that read the woman's profile have tried to message accordingly yet still get no reply and a delete. If a women asks for that in her profile I think it's polite to reply seeing that the man has read and responded in the manner in which she asked...

After being here a while and been on receiving end of the bluntness so much I no longer message someone who says that 'no reply' means no when they clearly ask to show you've read the profile by putting in some special word in the title box or ask you to be creative. It's a RED flag for me....there's a hardness there that most likely will come out at a meet. Much of the fun has been lost for both sides because of fab idealism and unfulfilled expectations. The best ones for me on here have been the risk takers and they've become the regulars and as a result have become better meets each time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparently only 1 % of fabbers use the forum according to stats in another post. That says alot about fab opinions and also the small amount of contacts that can be had from forums. There were some other interesting stats too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In an ideal world, everyone would gracefully accept polite rejection with respect without having to resort to immature behaviour such as abuse but unfortunately, we are not living in an ideal world on here so as a result, many don't reply for fear of abusive replies. If as I say, everyone was polite then everyone would probably reply but its life on here so accepting it will make your experience on this site a better less angst ridden one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In an ideal world, everyone would gracefully accept polite rejection with respect without having to resort to immature behaviour such as abuse but unfortunately, we are not living in an ideal world on here so as a result, many don't reply for fear of abusive replies. If as I say, everyone was polite then everyone would probably reply but its life on here so accepting it will make your experience on this site a better less angst ridden one."

Agreed. Use it for what you want as that's what everyone else is doing. It's used as a filtering system asmany of the current ones are not ssufficient.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"If you read all of my messages - not just my last one, you'd see that I agree with you!

;)

I know.

I'm just putting the other side of the story up there. Since you didn't think a lot of women really understood the experience of men, I thought it'd be useful to put the experience of women into perspective too.

Fair enough!"

I think this pair of messages neatly summarises the plight and problems of both sexes on Fab.

It is helpful of one to enlighten the other in such a constructive way, rather than repeat the gripes on only one side of the fence, which is what usually happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I reply to everyone who has read my profile.. match my requirements and I match there's

I do not feel obliged to reply to any one else

I use what time I have to look for people of interest and reply to those that I've described above. And also chat in forums... The rest of my free time I use to meet. If I replied to everyone that messaged I would never have the time to use the site as I feel is best for me.

I delete and block.. Saves repeated messages and abuse

"

This!

I don't reply to many messages - haven't the time.

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By *r H and Good PetCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham


"I think this pair of messages neatly summarises the plight and problems of both sexes on Fab.

It is helpful of one to enlighten the other in such a constructive way, rather than repeat the gripes on only one side of the fence, which is what usually happens."

Feel like I've got a gold star!

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

[Removed by poster at 15/01/16 10:01:35]

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"I think this pair of messages neatly summarises the plight and problems of both sexes on Fab.

It is helpful of one to enlighten the other in such a constructive way, rather than repeat the gripes on only one side of the fence, which is what usually happens.

Feel like I've got a gold star! "

A well deserved one too.

You brought peace to the thread!

Peace and understanding...

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

ConcentrAte on your inbox not your other boxes...

No reply = not interested

No thanks = not interested

Blocked= not interested.

I've never understood why a no thanks message would make anyone feel better..

I'll license this to you op it's guaranteed to make you feel better about no replies....

©johnsoda 0204....

Tell yourself it's because you were out of their league.. they know it you know it.. sorted...

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By *S RachaelTV/TS
over a year ago

Lowestoft

[Removed by poster at 15/01/16 11:40:12]

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By *S RachaelTV/TS
over a year ago

Lowestoft

I don't like to say "no". I don't like people to say no to me...if you don't get a reply move on.

Actually, if you have mailed before and received no reply the system normally advises you...if you were in the street and tried to chat up a woman and she kept walking would you chase her down the road?...no. because she can't stop for every bloke who tries it.

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By *ongleggedfemaleWoman
over a year ago

Bucks

No reply means I'm not interested. Additionally most guys messaging clearly haven't read my profile anyway!

I only block abusive or disrespectful idiots!

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"I don't like to say "no". I don't like people to say no to me...if you don't get a reply move on.

Actually, if you have mailed before and received no reply the system normally advises you...if you were in the street and tried to chat up a woman and she kept walking would you chase her down the road?...no. because she can't stop for every bloke who tries it.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey guys,

ive been on and off this site many times over the years and im not on here to moan about why im not getting replies.

if people dont like me, they dont like me and I can live with that.

Im here to add a polite request to the people who dont reply, would it be possible to reply with a thanks but no thanks. Personally, I will respect your decision and leave it at that. I wonder if this will reduce the chances of people getting multiple emails off the same people when theyre not interested and stop wasting everyones time?

For the guys who cant take rejection, there is always the block button?

is this something that has been requested before? And has it worked.

Cheers

jon"

I did reply to my messages with a no thanks , only to find them come back a month later or even less!!! So now I don't bother replying I just delete!! To which I then get a nasty reply!

Can't win either way.........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ConcentrAte on your inbox not your other boxes...

No reply = not interested

No thanks = not interested

Blocked= not interested.

I've never understood why a no thanks message would make anyone feel better..

I'll license this to you op it's guaranteed to make you feel better about no replies....

©johnsoda 0204....

Tell yourself it's because you were out of their league.. they know it you know it.. sorted... "

Hear, hear!

Coming from a bloke as well...who knew!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/01/16 17:41:17]

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