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where am i going wrong?

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By *owerDecker OP   Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

I message women are constantly no one replys, im not overtly crude or disrespectful, i Just would like some tips/hints on what i might be doing wrong. i have always been a people person but that is face to face , online i just seem to disappear

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

You don't have any public photos. That won't help.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Oh, and some people will assume you are attached because you cannot accommodate.

If you are single, it would be worth saying so.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

[Removed by poster at 15/08/15 11:38:33]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to say but there are hundreds, if not thousands of profiles like yours on here. It just doesn't stand out or give people a reason to be interested.

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By *owerDecker OP   Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

i previously had most of my pics public , it made no difference, i started assuming it was my face putting the women off , it may be naive but i assumed as im on a swinging site that ladys would assume im single , but now you point it out i may need to state it

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

your post here is the same length as your shop window to the world.... so why should someone say "oh my god i have to meet that person" over any of the other thousands of countless profiles out there.....

let me ask you a question, just to raise and prove a point...

if i was a person reading your profile (your shop window to the world)... how would I know that I was the right person for you???

the answer is... you wouldn't! you don't mention the type of person you are after at all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i previously had most of my pics public , it made no difference, i started assuming it was my face putting the women off , it may be naive but i assumed as im on a swinging site that ladys would assume im single , but now you point it out i may need to state it "

But presumably its the only face you have so not much you can do about that!

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By *owerDecker OP   Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

_abio thank you for an honest and insightful input, you have given me already a very good view on what directon to go, i was weary of posting on here as i seen some people being trolled , you are a good man

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Messy vault.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It must be hard for genuine guys on here - sadly there are a few that put ladies on heightened alert, but then most are and should be anyway.

I would say, like the others, stand out. What makes you unique - you are and have no problem exuding this face to face by the sounds of it.

Make sure you read profiles - the few male messages I replied to picked up on subtle things in my profile and really grabbed my attention - they intrigued me. Intrigue a woman, leave her wanting to know more. Make her chuckle, not cheesy, sophisticated and repsectful whit wins me.

Not sure what else. Help them to decipher if you're genuine, not some pervo or false fascade of a man who is not honest about their situation and desires.

Hope that helps. And good luck!

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By *parklesglitzWoman
over a year ago

Mancs


"I message women are constantly no one replys, im not overtly crude or disrespectful, i Just would like some tips/hints on what i might be doing wrong. i have always been a people person but that is face to face , online i just seem to disappear "

maybe as you are attached!

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By *owerDecker OP   Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

of course it helps , any information and tips are always welcome, i think my problem might be ignorance on my part then , assuming people will know im genuine, assuming i will get a chance to enthrall someone in conversation before I've even broke the ice , Im not new to the scene by any means but i am sad to say very knew to trying to advertise myself via the Internet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd listen to the above advice - add public pics, no cock pics though. Look to meet others through socials, parties, clubs etc, have a detailed profile that helps identify what you're looking for, and stay positive. You're verified so you must have made some progress previously? Good luck

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By *owerDecker OP   Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

yes i did make some head way but i hit a wall , the meet was very hard to come by for me , i was stood up a few times also, left me feeling rather stupid ( not for the first or last time in my life )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It must be hard for genuine guys on here - sadly there are a few that put ladies on heightened alert, but then most are and should be anyway.

I would say, like the others, stand out. What makes you unique - you are and have no problem exuding this face to face by the sounds of it.

Meant to say. Often women aren't being rude if they don't reply. I had so many it was impossible to reply to all the polite and genuine appearing messages, though I would have liked to.

Make sure you read profiles - the few male messages I replied to picked up on subtle things in my profile and really grabbed my attention - they intrigued me. Intrigue a woman, leave her wanting to know more. Make her chuckle, not cheesy, sophisticated and repsectful whit wins me.

Not sure what else. Help them to decipher if you're genuine, not some pervo or false fascade of a man who is not honest about their situation and desires.

Hope that helps. And good luck! "

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes


"i previously had most of my pics public , it made no difference, i started assuming it was my face putting the women off , it may be naive but i assumed as im on a swinging site that ladys would assume im single , but now you point it out i may need to state it "

It's not for me to judge the attractiveness or otherwise of your face but, if you really did think it was your face that was causing the problem would it not be an even bigger problem when they actually met you? How would that work?

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"It's not for me to judge the attractiveness or otherwise of your face but, if you really did think it was your face that was causing the problem would it not be an even bigger problem when they actually met you? How would that work?"

I'm not sure I agree with that, I firmly believe that an attractive personality trumps a pretty face any day of the week. I also think that everyone experiences this even if they don't realise it. It is much harder to engage your personality if you've already been dismissed for not being attractive enough.

Cal

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By *owerDecker OP   Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

i firmly agree with you cal ,too often i feel people have preemptively dismissed me before taking even 2 or 3 messages, i always give people a chance to make an impression, i do know women tend to get swamped on here but surely atleast a few statisticaly should have at least found me attractive enough to have taken time to see if i could hold a conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just looked at your profile, and can I use one word to improve it? That word is 'paragraph'.

Your looks are fine, but anyway your face is your face right? You don't necessarily have to have your face pic on public show, you can always attach it to any messages you send. We always reply to any messages that include photos (be it yay or nay) or at least some effort.

Be wary of your initial contact being something along the lines of 'Hi', 'up to much?' or 'how you doin?' sort of messages. I'm sure that might work with the odd person but by and large it's an irritant and those messages get deleted quite quickly.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i previously had most of my pics public , it made no difference, i started assuming it was my face putting the women off , it may be naive but i assumed as im on a swinging site that ladys would assume im single , but now you point it out i may need to state it "

Have you tried 'googling' swinging?

I think you'll find that the description (certainly in the vanilla world) is that it is something enjoyed by couples.

In truth, it is of course, much broader than that, and many single people are now involved in the scene, but the reason I make this comment is that it would appear - from your comment - that YOU are under the impression that swinging is something mainly for singles.

You will be surprised at just how many married men are on fab posing as single guys. There are also quite a few married or attached women posing as singles too.

Never assume anything

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

I found your profile very difficult to read! If you messaged me I would have taken one look at deleted, rather than spend the time deciphering it.

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By *owerDecker OP   Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

not excusing my appalling grammar and sentence structure but i am 100% dyslexic and i do tend to struggle with the full stops capital letters and strucuring of paragraphs and i know swinging is by and large a couples movment primarily,but i do get the point you make

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need patience lol

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By *owerDecker OP   Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

oh trust me i have plenty of that lol

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"not excusing my appalling grammar and sentence structure but i am 100% dyslexic and i do tend to struggle with the full stops capital letters and strucuring of paragraphs and i know swinging is by and large a couples movment primarily,but i do get the point you make "

okay.. simple piece of advice then... break it up where you think you would breathe or pause when reading it aloud

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By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton


"Just looked at your profile, and can I use one word to improve it? That word is 'paragraph'.

"

This so hard to read your profile

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By *owerDecker OP   Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"not excusing my appalling grammar and sentence structure but i am 100% dyslexic and i do tend to struggle with the full stops capital letters and strucuring of paragraphs and i know swinging is by and large a couples movment primarily,but i do get the point you make

okay.. simple piece of advice then... break it up where you think you would breathe or pause when reading it aloud"
Thank you for all the advice and helpful tips so far , ive tried to implement some and will try more soon , _abio your advice has been invaluable. you are a genuinely nice helpful guy id happily grab a beer with

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains


"not excusing my appalling grammar and sentence structure but i am 100% dyslexic and i do tend to struggle with the full stops capital letters and strucuring of paragraphs and i know swinging is by and large a couples movment primarily,but i do get the point you make

okay.. simple piece of advice then... break it up where you think you would breathe or pause when reading it aloud"

just put some gaps in it, that's all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just build it up as you go along, keep editing it with things you like, don't like, looking for not looking for! I'm having same trouble lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't usally write on things like this but I'd thought I'd shaer what I thought of your profile.

I think it's pritty irrelevant the bit about being from a generation that wasn't scared to walk up to a girl and ask for her number, this site is what it is and this is the platform you have to use to connect with others on here, I would include more about what your looking for than just what you see your self as. If you start it with not trying to sound up your own ass and then speak about yourself for the whole thing it does kinda come acros like that .also don't ask people to give you a chance make it so they can't resist to find out more, that's when the photos come in I'd put some private non nude ,not giving to much away so if they are interested they need to chat enough to see your privates ( no pun intended ) Not trying to be harsh in anyway was just brought up to think tough love is the best way

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